Author's Note: Here's part II! In terms of correspondence with Starlight Vows, this section goes along with the end of chapter 5, and all of 6 and 7! This was an emotional part to write in Edward's perspective. So many emotions and questioning thoughts! I really felt for him in his situation. Please leave reviews and let me know how I'm doing! Enjoy!
I'm still confused as to how I got talked into going to the Lexicon.
Rosalie used it as her revenge with Emmett, and Alice insisted that I join them. I protested. The last place I wanted to go on a Friday night was some club where intoxicated humans would be slobbering all over one another and having clothed sex on a dance floor. It would only fuel my bad mood.
I was trying to avoid Bella as much as possible for the last week. It was difficult. I had to hunt twice as often just to sustain my inner lust. She had tried to communicate with me at one point, but her scent was so overpowering, I could barely look at her. The hurt in her eyes haunted me late at night. I kept telling myself that it was better this way. She shouldn't know me.
It didn't help that I would listen in on her friends' thoughts on occasion. I learned that she worried about her father a lot. She loved cheeseburgers and pasta. Her favorite colors were black and blue. Horror novels and movies were an addiction to her. Dancing made her scared for her life. So did shopping. She wanted to travel around the world. Every new trivial fact about her that I learned left me aching for more.
I had spoken to Carlisle the first night of classes and discussed Bella's inability to be heard. He couldn't come up with any explanation that warranted practicality. It deepened my frustration. His advice was for me to do my best to act kindly to her regardless, since she was the police chief's daughter. I heard scary stories from the students around me during those first few days, and I reluctantly agreed with Carlisle. We didn't need the police trying to dig information up about us because I offended her.
Earlier in the day, I decided to try and act civil. I walked over to her table during lunch. My siblings were less than thrilled at the idea of my being so close to her. I pushed through the lust and held my breath as I approached her. Her friends were horrified at my presence. Their thoughts bombarded me as I tried to speak.
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, the creep is here! Why do the scary guys have to be so hot?
Dude, what's up with this guy? He better not try to get into Bella's pants. If she turned me down, she'll definitely turn him down.
I wish I could get a shot of him for the newspaper. Everyone keeps asking about the Cullens. He's looking at Bella like he wants to eat her…
What's he doing here? I hope to apologize! But…he looks so upset…
"Isabella…" I shoved through clenched teeth as I staring losing myself in the lava of brown in her eyes.
She's got it for him, bad! She's so not good enough for him. She'll find someone more in her league at the Lexicon! My face tensed at the mention of that despicable place. Bella was going to be there?
What's Bella going to do? This is too weird…
I couldn't handle the words anymore. I clicked my heels and left the table without saying another word. Those "friends" of Bella's were terrible. Especially the blonde one, Jessica Stanley, if I remember correctly. She seemed to be the queen bee of the junior class, in terms of gossip. A part of me felt angry at her boyfriend's thoughts. Mike Newton was just as popular to the females on campus. It made me wonder how Bella fell into their company. And he had tried dating her? Why did that upset me so? The other two seemed more concerned than catty, which eased me as I slowed my pace.
If I could only be like one of her friends.
Wait a moment. What a strange thought! Since when have I ever wanted such a thing? I was dangerous. No one wanted to be around me. Such as it should be.
Yet a part of me desired to be at her side. Protecting her. Laughing with her. Touching her.
I shook my head in repentance. That can't happen. I'd kill her.
My jeans vibrated and with a groan, I pulled out my phone to see a text message from Alice.
I'm sorry that didn't work out for you. I see her at the Lexicon tonight. Find her there.
That's right. She was going to the Lexicon. Bella didn't seem at all the type of girl who would parade around in revealing clothes and drink herself to oblivion.
I'd have to go now. Keep an eye on her.
Sometimes there were more dangerous things out at night than me.
The music was appalling. The bass's vibrations were intensified by my heightened senses as I hid myself in the darkness of the club. I leaned against the back wall, keeping my arms crossed and head low. The high-pitched voice of some overplayed artist nullified the gasps and laughter around me. I tried to focus on my point in being there. I thought about when I went to Bella's house to check on her before she left.
I decided to stay among the trees, hoping she wouldn't be able to see me with her human eyes. Her house was small and rundown. It looked homey. Comfortable. I started to wonder what the inside was like when I saw her exit the front door. She was covered by a jacket, which I found silly because it was warm out. Her face seemed frazzled a bit. Was she nervous about going out? It bothered me to no end that I couldn't hear her thoughts. At least she was wearing regular shoes. She was aware of her clumsiness. I decided to take my leave so I would arrive at the club before her, and made my way through the brush, sprinting into the wind my hard body created in the night.
Why was I being so concerned about Bella's safety? I didn't understand it. I had only been around her for two weeks. Her blood screamed out for me every time I was in close proximity. That wouldn't be the reason for me to want to shield her from harm. Something inside me longed for her.
"Edward, dude, go find a chick and dance! You look pitiful over here!" Emmett's booming voice growled at me. I leered at him as Rosalie shoved her slender body against his.
"I'd rather not." The smell of alcohol on his breath disgusted me. I didn't understand why he would drink so much when he wouldn't become intoxicated by it like humans.
"Man, you're such a buzz-kill, you know that?" He gave me a sour look. Just tryin' to help, Eddie. Stop being so emo and get with the program. Try and have fun. It won't bite. Haha. Pun. I shook my head.
"Go enjoy yourself with Rosalie, won't you please? It's not like I'm here of my free will, remember? Let me be."
"Pfft, whatever, Bro," Emmett shrugged and moved away with Rosalie.
Suddenly, I picked up the pleasant aroma of strawberries and perfume. I watched the mass of bodies on the dance floor, and spotted Bella with her dancing friends. Everyone that was around her melted away from my sight. A gasp was caught in my throat as I drank in her outfit. A very tight green tank top clung to her sweating skin. I could see a glimpse of her stomach above her low-rider jeans as she tried to sway her hips next to her friend, Angela. As she moved, her curled hair bounced against her shoulders, taunting me. I had yet to see her in makeup, and the subtle amount made her mesmerizing eyes pop against her paling skin.
Eyes that overshot the crowd and watched Rosalie and Emmett, whom were only a few feet away from where I stood. I dropped my gaze and turned away, hoping she wouldn't see me.
Time passed painfully slow after that. I restrained myself from watching her too much with her friends. She looked safe with Angela. In the brief time I saw Jessica and Mike, they were already intoxicated. Bella didn't act interested, which reassured me.
She wasn't like the average college student after all.
A few hours passed. From what I watched, Bella was exhausted. Her drunken friends didn't make it easier for her, either. I saw her excuse herself and hug Angela and Mike before leaving. I stealthily moved among the dancers, keeping my eyes on Bella's back as she walked.
Man, the babes here are killin' me!
I have a hard dick just thinkin' about 'em!
Fuck, I need release. This sausage fest out here isn't doing a damn thing for me.
I heard their disturbing thoughts from inside the club. Fraternity members smoking outside. My eyes conspicuously lowered as I honed in on them, knowing Bella may pass them.
Oh shit, she's fucking hot! Look at that ass move! I neared the door and saw Bella hastening her pace to her truck. From here, it looked like it was miles away from her human body.
"Hey, Sexy Ladyyyyyy!" One of the retched males slurred.
"Woo, look at dat ass!" The one beside him called out. Bella walked faster. I wanted to grab them and snap their necks, but I had no reason at the moment. I couldn't kill them just for heckling her.
Then they started following her. I bit down on my bottom lip hard, watching the scene unfold.
"Look, Freddie, she's ignoring us! HOW RUDE!" One of them yelled. Bella was inches from her truck, and I saw how flustered she was as she fumbled for her keys.
"She's getting away! Let's teach her a lesson, guys!" The ringleader growled. Bella's keys fell from her shaking hands and slid under her truck.
Damnit, what do I do? Do I go help her? Make a scene with fighting them? My anger was getting the best of me. Why wasn't anyone else out there helping her? I expected her to scream for help. Her next actions surprised me.
I watched with wide eyes as she dodged the first large male, and then slammed her hand into the second's nose. Blood spewed from his face, spilling onto the ground. I could smell it from my place, and it intensified my fury. The first male she had dodged grabbed her hard at her shoulders and threw her into the pavement. I heard her cry of pain. Saw her body slide against the hard ground.
"You stupid bitch!" He groaned and kicked her in her stomach and side repeatedly. That was it. I had enough.
They weren't getting away with hurting my Bella.
Wait, my Bella?
The thought left me when I heard her cry out in agony.
Ignoring any consequences, I ran to the parking lot at lightning speed, digging my hands into the body of her attacker, and smashing him into the lot. He cried out as I slammed my hand against his leg, crushing it under my fingertips. The smell of his blood all around me was taking me over. I growled at him, becoming uncontrollable.
How dare you hurt Bella! She did nothing to you! She's not a piece of meat for you to soil! I'm going to rip you apart for attempting to-
Bella's whimpering got my attention and for an instant, I saw her in a fetal position on her knees, staring at me in horror. What was I doing? I let go of the torrid excuse for a human being and went to her side, holding my hand to her slowly. She flinched at the sight. Was she traumatized? Maybe I should take her to Carlisle, or the hospital…
"I won't hurt you," I said softly. "Need help getting up?" When she didn't respond, I slowly hunched over and grabbed her upper body, helping her to her feet. She was shivering under my touch. "Are you alright?" Smooth, Cullen. Of course she's not alright! The poor thing was just beaten! Her head moved up and down, and I let out a sigh. She wasn't catatonic, at least.
"E-Edward…?" Bella lifted her head and looked into my eyes, and I instantly felt remorseful. I had not fed the last two days, and she would be able to notice the difference in my eyes. Her own were full of pain. Well, she was hurt. Maybe she wouldn't notice. Those animals should pay for that pain and fear in her eyes.
"Let me help you to your truck," I blurted, trying to keep my mind off of killing the human nearby. His cries were soothing to my ears. Bella's warm, electrifying skin was sooth to mine. It startled me as I held onto her. I let go of her once she as at her side, and gave her a moment to compose herself.
"My…my keys…" She mumbled. Ah, that was right. They fell underneath her truck. I rushed to the opposite side and grasped them in my palm. I reappeared in front of her, showing them to her. I hoped it would cheer her up. She took them, looking at me strangely.
"Want me to take you to the hospital? You don't look too good." It was true. Her face looked like all blood had drained from it. Blood. I held my breath when I realized she was bleed along her arm. Don't pay attention, don't pay attention. She's in need, not you! Her eyes were dazed as she stared at her keys, holding them tightly in her hand. "Bella?"
"What…the…fuck…!" I was flabbergasted at her language. Her beautiful eyes glared at me in repulsion. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Huh?" I couldn't think of any other response. Was she angry at me for helping her? Maybe she caught on to my previous behavior. Or she thought I would hurt her?
"You…you are…I don't even know what to call you! You stalked me, didn't you?" I stalked you? What? Her eyes darkened as she continued her allegations. "You followed me here, didn't you?" I took a step back as her face hardened with a look of hatred. "Jessica was right, wasn't she? You are a creeper! Worse than those assholes who just tried to…" Jessica? What did she know? What was she telling Bella about me? The rage in her eyes hurt me deep down in my chest. I wasn't sure why.
"Bella, I-" She threw her sore hands up in front of her, gesturing me to stop. My mouth closed as her body began to shiver with rage.
"No. I don't want to hear it. You fucking stalked me since day one. All those weird stares, ignoring me when I tried to be nice, making me feel like trash when I didn't do a damn thing to you! Then you appear out of nowhere and expect me to be all appreciative? You're fucking joking." Her colorful langue sparked my anger. The anger that was simmering from the fight was flaring back up, and I spoke before I could control it.
"Look, I don't understand what you're thinking, but you're completely wrong. My sister dragged me here. I wouldn't be caught dead in that house of drunken orgies of my own will." Bella's body leaned against her truck as she gawked at me with shock. Her skin was growing paler by the second. She looked so fragile. Like a doll. I didn't want to frighten her more than she had already experienced. I was going about this all wrong. Taking a deep breath, I calmed my nerves and continued, "As for before, I apologize about that. My behavior was inappropriate, but I have my reasons." I watched anxiously for her reaction to my apology. She glanced at me with softening eyes before falling downwards. "Bella!"
I ran to her immediately, holding her warm, light body in mine. Was she weaker than I thought? Maybe internally bleeding? Or the trauma finally got to her.
She was a beautiful sight, even with her eyes closed and her heart racing. I held back the urge to pull some of her loose hair from her face as she reopened her eyes and gazed into mine.
"How?" I perked an eyebrow at her sudden question. "How do you know that name?"
Oh. Oh! I only heard it in her friend's minds! It was a nickname only. No one else called her that. Of course I shouldn't have known it. I really botched this up. Quick, come up with an explanation!
"I overheard your friends call you it a few times. Would you rather be called Isabella?" Not a complete lie. I prayed she bought it.
She pressed her fingers against her eyelids and pushed herself away from me. "Bella is just fine." I watched in awe as this brave young woman opened her truck door and sat down. How was it possible for a human to face what she had to expect herself to drive home in her condition? Her independence was yet another fact about her that enticed me. I noticed her face gazing at her side, probably inspecting her bruising. I felt compelled to protect her.
"Are you sure you're alright? I can take you to my father. He can look at you," I suggested, wanting desperately to take her pain away. It was crippling me as much her.
Good lord, what was happening to me?
"I'll be fine. I'll stick an icepack on it while I sleep." Her tone was sharp. Offended.
"Let me at least drive you home. You're in no condition to drive like that." Her resistance was frustrating me. But I understood. Why would she trust me after how I treated her the past weeks?
"I'm not leaving my truck," she replied. I caught a chuckle in my throat at her slight pout. It looked adorable on her.
"That's fine. I can drive for you." When she looked at me, I wished hard that I could hear her thoughts. Her eyes were kinder. They warmed me as much as her skin. Her eyes darted back towards the club, uncertain.
"What about…" Oh, she was worried about my siblings? If only she knew!
"I got a ride from Rosalie. I can drive you back, and then walk myself home." I didn't mind a walk alone. After this ordeal, I certainly needed to hunt, anyway. Bella winced as she shuffled herself into the passenger seat.
"Oh, o-okay," she groaned. I smiled as I got into the truck, getting settled and taking in all the wonderful scents. Bella's scents. The polyester in the truck was worn. I smelled her perfume. It was a mix of lavender and vanilla. She must've had coffee in there at some point, and I smelled a hint of granola. Each fragrance told me a little bit more about this human. Each one was almost as addicting as her blood. "Take care of my baby. He's fragile." Her sweet voice distracted me from my thoughts and I smiled.
"Promise."
As I turned on the truck, the headlights flashed against the wallowing human that had attacked Bella. I winced at the sight, hoping Bella wouldn't get upset. I saw her smile at my side, surprising me again. "Which way?" I asked to get her attention away from the vile filth.
"Uh, turn left on the main road." Her voice was meeker, like she was only half with me. I was silent as I drove, doing my best to focus on the road, rather than the pulsating blood so close to me. I never expected to be in this situation. What was my fascination with Bella? Why did she capture my attention, fill my thoughts, and create such a strange desire for me to be around her? No other human had done so in all the hundred or so years I've existed. "What are your reasons?" My fingers flinched at her voice.
"Reasons for what?" I think my voice cracked as I repeated her, still partially drunk in thought.
"For acting the way you have, with me." I remained still, keeping my eyes ahead of me. She wanted to know why? What would be a good enough lie to tell her? A part of me didn't want to lie. For some obscure reason, I felt the compulsion to say the truth to her. Warn her to stay away from me because I was dangerous. That my previous actions were for her safety. She seemed awfully perceptive. I could see it in her eyes as she looked at me, waiting for a response.
"If I told you I was just shy, would you believe me?" She startled me with a chuckle.
"Try again." I felt my lips curve upwards and I flashed a small smile in defeat. Definitely perceptive.
"I was scared of you because you're Chief Swan's daughter?" That was a legitimate answer. Plenty of the students complained about how Charlie Swan was a man to be feared.
"Take a right at the sign here, and try again. At least be more creative if you're going to lie." Goodness, this girl could see through me! Maybe Rosalie was correct in her assumption. Her hand moved to her neck, pulling away from of her hair, and I held my breath. My body went completely rigid. How ignorant could she possibly be? Did Bella have no sense danger?
"Do you really want to know?" I asked.
"Well, yeah, of course I do. It would save us both a lot of grief if you explained yourself." Her heartbeat was humming again. Like a bird's wings. I started breathing in slowly through my nose, trying to calm myself.
"Promise you won't laugh?" I smoothed my voice out to sound more convincing.
"Scout's honor." A heavy sigh escaped me and I relaxed my muscles. Maybe I wouldn't have to lie at all.
"I thought you were beautiful." The words rolled off my tongue as if it were a pure fact. Something grew warm inside me. How strange. I remained quiet, listening as her heart fluttered harder in her chest.
"What?" she gulped out, perhaps in shock. I glanced at her, taking in her wide eyes and parted lips. They looked lavish as they twitched slightly. Quickly turning my gaze back to the road, I blurted out a better explanation.
"I know it doesn't make up for how I treated you. I am very sorry about that. But it is the truth. When I saw you that first day, you could say I was smitten. But, I didn't have the courage to talk to you. When you slipped and I caught you, I thought I had the opportunity, but your friends were coming. After that, I was too nervous to approach you. I guess my staring was my strange way of coping. I'm sorry it made you uncomfortable, truly. I didn't mean for that at all. I know that you tried to talk to me once, but…" I hesitated for a moment before forcing myself to continue. "I-I was too scared about what you would say to me, so I left. So I decided after that to stay away from you. But earlier today, I felt that I had enough courage to talk to you, to apologize for being so awkward."
"That's why you came to my table?" She sounded interested. I nodded slowly, as the thoughts of her friends came back to mind.
"Your friends…didn't approve of my presence, so I left." My hands gripped the steering wheel a bit harshly. The anger was returning.
"Oh."
"Then, when I was dragged to that disgusting place, I saw you dancing with them. You seemed like you weren't having much fun. I wanted to talk to you then, but I felt like I would have scared you away. I saw how intoxicated your one friend was, and something told me to make sure you'd leave okay. When I saw those guys ogle you like that-" The pivoting sound my jaw made as it clenched tightly was loud to my ears. I wanted to turn back and shred apart that human and his disappearing companions.
"Thank you," Bella's soft voice cut me off. I was thankful that she did, because I would have lost myself to my fury otherwise. Her voice sang inside my head, calming me enough to relax my position. "I appreciate what you did, really. I don't know what would've happened if you weren't there to stop them." By the tone in her voice, I realized just how scared she was back in that parking lot. To lighten the mood, I decided to compliment her.
"You fought pretty well. I saw you break that one's nose." I smirked at the memory.
"Being the daughter of a cop has its perks," she said lightheartedly. I recognized where we were heading, and I fought a frown at the knowledge that we were near her house. "Turn here. It's the white house on your right." I know it is. As I drove closer, a frown crept along my face. Bella didn't seem to notice; her eyes were locked onto her house.
"Should I pull in in or park out front?"
"Front is just fine." When I parked the truck, I leaned back in the seat for a few seconds while Bella collected her things. "Thanks again for driving me." I opened the door and smiled at her. Her voice resonated like a song that was stuck in your head.
"Of course." I noticed her trying to move on her own, and I ran to her side and opened her door. "Need help?" She shrugged off my offer, getting out on her own and wobbling a bit. I watched her mahogany locks bounce against her skin, and I longed to run a hand through it.
"I should be fine," she grunted while sliding on her jacket slowly. I bit down on my lip when I saw her wince from then fabric contacting her scrapes. Her blood was calling to me again. Silently, I yelled at myself to hold back. When she straightened back up, she gave me a startled expression. Maybe I was too close to her? Her lips pouted just enough to make me want to touch them. Again, I fought the urge. "D-do you think…" she whispered as her large eyes watched me in what I imagined to be admiration. That was silly. "You think we could start over?" I didn't fight the smile that spread across my lips.
"I would like that, Bella." I was treading dangerous waters in that moment. Bella Swan had no idea what she was asking. I knew. And I was letting it happen. Surely, I was going to Hell. But the glowing smile on her innocent face suddenly made it all worth it. I wanted to make her smile like that more often.
"Well, I better go. Should get ice on my bruise before it gets worse." The smile left me as I watched her angelic form gravitate towards her home. I stayed in place, holding my hands in my pants pockets while I made sure she got inside safely. Her abrupt turn at the porch alarmed me, as well as the questioning look in her eyes. "See you on Monday?"
That strange spark from before exploded in my chest at her words. She wanted to see me again. Too many thoughts plagued my mind at once. So, I forced a simple nod in response and watched her smile as she opened her front door and walked inside. I exhaled, relaxing my strained muscles and joints. I held in so much this night, I terribly needed blood.
My feet carried me into the night, away from Bella. Away from the only human that ever held my attention. She was calling to me in ways I had never felt before. She wanted my company. I wanted hers. She wasn't afraid of me after seeing what I could do. I was devoting my time to protecting her, with only a few words between us. And she was the one who suggested starting over. Did she desire my friendship? Had I ever a human friend? Would I even be capable of that kind of relationship with one whose blood I frenziedly craved?
Isabella Swan.
Bella.
My Bella.
Why did I want to want to be with her so?
No matter which angle my mind took took while I ran, I came to one singular truth: I had a lot to figure out over the weekend.
