There goes that face again. That very same face. Why is this nice lady a part of my memories?
Every now and then, I can still picture that same angelic face and her warm, welcoming smile. I still can't get over her comfort as she once embraced me so close. And for some strange reason, I'm able to smile, even in an instant. But I am not happy. I do not even believe I am truly alive. So why do I smile? What is this feeling? What does it mean?
Who am I exactly? I have always been alone. There is nothing really human about me. But there is everything human about her; her wise and kind words, her gentle touch, even her features. What I also don't understand is why embrace me so, without hesitation. This lady treats me as if I play a huge role in her life, which is unknown to me. I just don't understand it at all.
Or do I?
Although this emotion frightens me, it also relieves me for a short while. Perhaps...perhaps I do have a role in someone's life. If no one else's, then definitely her's. What also frightens me, besides the image of her face, are the images of other memories with her. It's as if I'm in a state of a good dream. These good memories begin to ease me, making me feel things that I've never really felt before...or what I've haven't felt in a long time. So does this mean that there was once a life for me that I can't recall? Still, everything seems like a huge puzzle, and it's really frustrating that I can't quite put the confusing pieces together.
But that doesn't matter, right? Somehow, this nice lady knows how to put me in a good state. She makes me feel that I am not alone after all. Sometimes, I do picture myself in another life with this lady, along with other familiar faces. Even a certain demon cat pet comes to mind. I give a little chuckle.
Suddenly, a familiar statement occurs in my head. I'm now remembering some words that she once told me. "Kohaku, the reason why I'll always be here is because I love you. For we are family."
...Family...
I think I was once familiar with that word before. Family….. is that what this is all about? But I do not have family...do I? That's ridiculous. As I said before, I've always been alone, and no one has ever acknowledge me in such a way like this lady in my memories does. But what does this mean? Is she a part of my life? Am I a part of her's? Who is she? Does this mean...
Then, unexpectedly, my mind and soul is blank. I no longer remember everything that questions my logic, my fears, my confusion,...and my unusual feeling of happiness. Somehow, I am something else, something that is indestructible and empty. I do not know if I could ever return to what I've been wondering all this time. I am forever dead.
But...that very same face will always remain inside, no matter who-or what-I truly am. Those soft, brown eyes...those eyes of warmth, strength, and sadness...I also remember how she once shed tears for my sake. "Kohaku! No matter what, I will always be here! For I am your sister! For we are family!"
...
Maybe...maybe she is the main reason why I still roam this unknown life of mine, whether I am truly alive or dead. Maybe she truly is the answers to my questions. And if she is the source of making me smile, even for a brief moment...then I can say that she is saving my life. She is my one and only hope now.
Although I do not know why I do this, I still look at the stars at night, and close my eyes. A single name remains in my empty soul.
"...Sango..."
THE END
