Alice

Darkness fell all around me, clinging to my skin. The others were gone. Most of them either on a hunt, or in Bella and Edward's case, back at their own home. I sat alone in the same spot I'd hardly moved from for the past two and a half weeks. The urge to feed or even really move had all but left me. My eyes were only for the plate of glass that over looked both the side yard and the front. I crouched on my tip toes, my hands tightly gripping the edge of his black desk. The golden brown of my eyes were slowly fading into black and faint purple marks began to stain the pale skin under them.

My sadness and pain only causing my hunger to grow fast with each day I didn't feed. The long days and nights crept by tortuously , feeling more like years than days at all. The burning that rested in my heart had only worsened, and I began to wonder if this was the pain I was supposed to feel when I was first turned. My family always described it as a fire that coursed through your whole body as the venom traveled and slowly came to rest in your heart until it finally stopped.

I'll ask Edward or Carlisle later. I thought grimly as my pained eyes raked slowly over the dark yard. My gaze whipped from the side yard to the front when I noticed a pale blur run through it. My head cocked to the side before everything completely dark. My body froze for a second as a vision passed through my mind, disappearing again quickly.

The door to the room flew open and a blurred figure ran in before turning and closing it behind him. He still wore the same clothes as he did before leaving, though, the dark blue shirt he wore was torn in many places revealing the milky skin underneath. His golden, red streaked hair hung loosely at his shoulders with leaves and small twigs tangled within it, and his shoulders were hunched as if he'd been crying. His head snapped up from the door then and his body suddenly went tense all over.

I spun around as my vision came to an end. My eyes were wide with anxiety and unabridged pain. He had hurt me and that I knew would not go away for some time. It wasn't for the fact that he'd slipped up for the first time in over 55 years, but because of how he just vanished before me. My small fingers dug into the hard wood, putting small indentions into the dark surface of it. My eyes fixed on the door waiting for my love to make his appearance. The vision that clouded my sight only moments ago quickly began to happen before me. The door flew open as his blurred figure ran in and closed it once more. I drank in the sight of him, already wanting to be closer to him, but still seemed to find the strength to hold my place. He took in a breath of air as he stared at the door for a moment and quickly stiffened like I had expected him to do. He was no longer able to hide from me. Being the house was a empty pit at the time he must have never thought any of us were here when he came in.

Usually when I would first lay my eyes on him I would engulf him in the love I felt for him, but this time I restrained myself. Just as he knew how to find a way around my gift, I knew a way around his. I had to make myself numb, which was never an easy task, Jasper slowly shifted around to face me, with that same look in his crimson eyes as the last time he looked at me. A mixture of horror and disgust, and I knew why it was there. He'd never fought like that with me before. He did teach me how to fight, but never like he did that day. He'd never actually hurt me, and that was the only thing I could think of that would make him looked at me this way. I noticed he wasn't even really looking at me at all, but instead at my feet. His hand grasped the silver door knob tightly like he was about to bolt if I made a step towards him. Unlike him, though, I craved to bury my face in the crook of his neck and take in his spicy, mint scent or even just to feel his touch. When I moved towards him, I was stopped by a low growl. My face twisted in hurt, the harshness of his growl slapping me in the face.

"Jasper, please just calm down." I begged. I didn't want him to be like this. It wasn't his fault; it was me that that didn't stop him like I should have, after all. If anyone was to blame it was me. Sending him a small wave of the hurt I felt from his actions, I saw him flinch ever so slightly. A move that was so small and quick that only a true lover would be able to pick up on it. Taking advantage of his distraction, I leaped off the desk with ease and was standing inches away from him in a flash. Dust floated to the ground as my hands unclenched and came to grasp Jasper's shoulders to keep him in place. He wouldn't escape me, I wouldn't allow it. "It wasn't your fault, love." I whispered, pushing all of my love outwards. My hands slid onto his chest and I found myself edging closer to him until my head was resting on his scarred chest. I breathed in his scent deeply not being able to keep myself from taking him in any longer. The sweet smell made my head spin and my hands cling tighter to his body, my finger tips brushing the smooth skin of one of his many bite marks.

"Don't," He growled in warning while his lithe hands wrapped around my arms to push me away from him.

"Jasper, you didn't mean too. You ju-" I tried to breath out while fighting his strong hold.

"I just lost control?" His eyes didn't meet mine, but instead fixed themselves on the silver scars that now lined my shoulders and neck. My venom was able to heal the wounds but the scars would forever remain.

A dark look rested across his face and his body leaned away from me so both of us were a few feet away from one another. This caused my anger to steadily seep in, my eyes now growing little darker. "It was an accident, Jasper..You didn't hurt me."

He growled deeply and anger came to his eyes just as it did mine. "Don't you dare lie to me, Alice!" He moved in a blur to stand in front of me and glared down into my eyes. I glared back just as hard. "I felt your pain," He spat harshly as he brushed passed me. I growled back challengingly and crossed my arms as I spun around to see him again. He was standing next to the ruined desk gazing down at the damage I'd done.

"Alright, fine, I take back what I said…you did hurt me. For two weeks I had a constant headache because I was searching for you so hard after you blinded me. I had no idea where you were, or if you were off slaughtering humans in some large city. That hurt. So if you want to be mad at yourself for something there you go. " My voice stayed calm but still had a bitter tinge to it. "What happened with me could have happened to any of us." His jaw clenched at my words and his head shook up and down slowly, his fingers tracing the holes in his desk.

"Have you ever seen that happen to Bella and Edward in the 43 years they have been together? What about Emmet and Rose or even Jake and Renesmee?" That was something I wasn't able to answer any more truthful than I could the last question. I had to look down to the ground when his eyes turned on me."That's what I thought." He said knowingly. I bit my lip as my eyes bore into his and my head shook back and forth. "It won't happen again. You know that, right?" I was afraid of what was going through his mind right now. Afraid that maybe he was considering leaving me once more. It would break me if he did, but even so, I would no doubt follow him. Jasper turned away from me to look outside our glass wall.

"No, it won't."

He formed the words slowly and precisely, but there was something in his tone that made me shudder in fear. There was a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that told me everything between us was about to change. Like the bond and love we shared was about to shatter at our feet…

Jasper

Unspoken words passed between us. Alice pleading me to return the affection I was shoving away and me ignoring every single one of her voiceless words. I wouldn't give into her and she recognized that, yet she was unwilling to accept it. She wouldn't and couldn't see beneath the mask that hid my true self. Underneath the disguise, I was the worst kind of monster in a world full of them. I didn't even care that I had taken three lives this past week. Innocent souls with a family that now mourned the death of three of their own. I held no remorse for what I did despite knowing that fact. I only cared about the fact I'd attacked herin my blood lust. My own mate. The person who brought me out of the dark pit Maria dropped me in when I was first created. A monster of that kind does not deserve a being such as Alice, and I would never again let myself have her. That was the consequence to my actions. It was the punishment I would wreak upon myself for ever laying a finger on her. It would of course break the dead heart that had only ever been touched by her, but that was a price I would pay. I couldn't let her know of my leaving though. I would have to keep from letting my mind settle on one decision and leave unexpectedly when Alice wasn't there. There would be no possible way to leave in her presence. I doubt I would be able to rip myself away from her. Alice would try to follow if I did it that way regardless, and that was something I couldn't let happen. She belonged here with the saints of our kind, not with the demons.

"Please just look at me, Jasper." Her beautiful voice brought me out of my ever changing thoughts and stung me like a newborns' bite. Her emotions were pulling at me like iron chains, and even I didn't know how I had the strength to resist their infectious grip. I didn't turn like she asked me to, but kept my eyes on the dark outside, causing a new wave of hurt to stab me. An uncomfortable silence settled into the room for countless minutes. One that made me feel awkward around even her. It caused my muscles tense the more with each passing second until the silence finally was broken, but not by either of us. The sound came from downstairs where we could hear the family gathering. They must have caught my scent when they came back from wherever it was they were. "Edward…He is home."I recognized the calm but relieved voice of Carlisle. "We'll see you in a few minutes then." I heard the click of a phone being closed before silence enveloped usagain.

"You must at least go to them…Esme will be hurt if you do not." Alice muttered darkly, fruitlessly trying not to let it reach our families ears. I turned to face her, but the beautiful eyes I expected to be met with were shut. Her head had fallen back and a hurtful look crossed her angelic face. To know I was the one causing her pain made my cold heart ache and further aroused the want to separate myself from her. Being away from Alice would only make my torment worse, but I would be able to drown in my own misery without her there to convince me I wasn't the foul creature I claimed to be. I heaved a sigh knowing that Alice was right about going down to see the others. Esme would be mad at me and I owed the motherly figure that loved me as her own son that much.

I ran my hands through my tangled hair to brush any debris that dwelled in it before I became a blur to any human eyes. I brushed past Alice filling my lungs with the rose and honey scent that was so intoxicating. It made me feel weak from just taking it in. Her raging emotions wrapped around me and pulled at my body like rubber cords as I left the room. The thin invisible strands threatened to rip me back into the room with every step I took away from her. I didn't hear her follow like I thought she would; however I reluctantly kept down the I came to the top of the stair case I was hit with each of their emotions. Carlisle, Esme, and Emmet were all pouring with relief while Rose's was covered by her expected anger. Esme smiled up at me from her place in Carlisle's arms and guilt welled up in my already troubled heart. I hesitantly walked down the steps while both listening for any sign of Alice's light foot falls and letting my eyes take in the sight of the empty house. From what it looked like they had already shipped our things somewhere else, but yet they all still remained. They were risking their exposure just so that I could return before they moved on once again. The thought of that only made that guilt I felt for leaving soon only grow stronger. It truly was going to be hard separating myself from this family.