Summary:
It was her very last wish that came true. Now, everything might change. She's about to make a very important decision.
Burning Horizon – Passing light of day
Outside the boundaries of her mind – within limbo
It's so great. I can feel my body. What a great dream. Could've said "thank you" one more time. There's no phantom pain – none of this. Blade Runner echoes in my head. All those flashing colors. As she fell asleep on my dead legs, I wished I could stroke the back of her head. No doubt she has changed. The way she wrote her letters to me… sigh.
Oh, I haven't noticed. I'm awake but I see nothing but darkness. I'm inside my bed. The respiratory system squeaks quietly, the tube tacked to my gullet doesn't hurt for a change. "Thank you, Max, it really was painless," I thank her again. I regret having faced her with such a fierce decision. She did the right thing. I won't judge her for leaving me alone in Arcadia Bay in a time I needed her most.
Now, I'm obliged to atone my sins:
First sin, always being a childish brat to my parents so they always had something to gripe about.
Next and worse sin, an accident had caused my life to turn upside down. Nothing was worse, than being a weight inside my parents' life. Everybody's life went on except for mine. Max's life went on, the life of our relatives, the life of my friends who rarely paid me a visit. I stopped my parents from going on. I hope my death wasn't in vain. It'll take time for them to forget that pain. They'll realize fast, that I was actually dead the moment my back had snapped. They'll realize keeping me alive was merely delaying my fate they couldn't understand to accept. They could've strolled together with Max and me along the boardwalk and regard the dead helplessly stranded whales. This imagery… a visual metaphor of how I felt.
Last and worst sin, I can recall, dragging my parents into debt worth several millions. After my death, it'll take them a lifetime to shake themselves out of it. They shall start all anew. I know they'll do. Dad is a fighter just like mom. They will both do the right thing.
I hear a shattering of glass. The shards sound as clear as they sound close. It could be right in front of me. What happens around me? I hope, Max leaves before mom and dad notice anything. No… I want her to be with them. She seemed lonely that day. Huh, weird… I never had such a clear dream. Dark, empty, but thoughts remain sharp and real. Could use a little bit of Firewalk, or other music. This is it then. What's this? Light enters this empty room. Brr, my fingers are cold, my legs prickle. A blanket, I haven't felt cloth in years. I'm entering heaven.
A mp3-player plays back music, somewhere inside this room. Thanks for hearing me out, someone gifted me with music. This is my sickroom in my parents' house. I survived the dose and feel my limbs? Never – this is beyond death. Oh God, Max is still here. Her tears soaked into my blanked. Her throat is cut and blood has left her neck. I'm not attached to any of the tubes. So, I'll leave my bed. Clothes and shoes on my body. Max's blood is fresh, but… I can finally move my body. Even better, I can do anything effortless, as if my muscles have never withered or faded.
This is creepy. First, I thought, it was a lucid dream with nothing but darkness, then I assumed I was entering heaven, and now I can move my body after years but reawake in the room I've actually died. White dazzling light spills this room like a white disguise shines by itself like a sun. I'm confused.
I walk up to Max's lifeless body. Strange, it looks like she has fallen asleep on my legs, right on the photobook we were watching along with some nostalgic feels. Her bag, maybe I'll find something in there which gives me a hint. Her diary… normally I'm not that type of guy who does this, but I think she wouldn't mind me for reading her last entry.
And there you are. The music was her mp3-player inside her pocket. It feels cold just like her body. Sounds good, what's crackling out of the earplugs. Will listen to this while reading. Holy… whoa, her last entry pages are blood-speckled.
"September 4th, 2013
So much to do… I wish I could slow down time, especially to register all the cool things that have happened since I'm back in Arcadia. Blackwell RULES!
September 21th
Yes, I'm older and thanks to Vic and Nathan I'm now a bit more fashionable too. They surprised me with the most beautiful straw pork pie hat, wrapped up furoshiki-style. Best birthday party ever. Also, drunkest. I can't sleep.
October 4th
Hey dear Diary, remember me? Busy Max. Busy. Can't write now. Must shoot. Must live. Must befriend. Should rekindle with Chloe too. But must Vortex first. Party time!"
What the? This isn't her. At least not today. Seems like she's a better actress than I knew. But those entries show her real face. The Max, I knew from her letters. The parchment letters… swanky but… it matches her profile. Hang on, there's something written in bold letters inside the vortex circle,
"I love you Chloe, I'm so sorry for everything. Farewell."
Very confused I grab her dusty music player and remove a thin layer of dust from the little display. The blueish glowing letters show, "POD – Sleeping Awake". Yeah, what a funny coincidence. Great song though. Not quite my genre… but does it matter now?
Nothing but the music makes a sound in this room. It gives me the creeps. Oh my… where the… Max is gone. She's left the room silently. God, I must get out of this cursed room. I want to go outside in the garden and head to the swings. What? The door's locked. Max has locked me up – can't be. This dream slowly turns into a nightmare. Wait a minute. The window frame has no pane. I could vault over it with a little strength.
They are waiting out there. Max, mom and dad. They smile at me. They knew, I'd come. Mom and Dad stand next to a wooden bench. I tucked Max's player in my pocket in case she wants to listen to a little music in this death silent place.
Guess this is it, wow! Beyond our garden there's the shore. No stranded whales at long last. The sun is low in the golden hour and seems to be stuck now and forever. Max stands there with her ancient camera in her hands. Still fascinated by this bad boy because it's still working and still kicking ass. She's… smiling at me. She hands me the polaroid. Mom hugs dad and pushes her head against his shoulder and looks at me. Dad keeps up his silence with that wonderful smile on his face.
"Come here," he whispers and opens his arms offering a hug. I look down to my body. They took so much care of me, and now, I took it all away. I run into him. Tears run into his armpit.
This isn't heaven. Wouldn't you sense modesty, wisdom and integrity? From all of them, it's more like the opposite. Contrition, grief and alike. A surreal dimension inside which I'm captured.
Dad embraces his arms around my back. Mom's soft and warm hand pets over my back. "It's all fine. You don't need to say anything," Dad reassures. He's so strong. No wonder he'd never given me up regardless of whether I was disabled, a rebel or dead. "Shhh," he whispers. Mom kisses the top of my head and pets my back a little more.
Max stands somewhere behind us – the hugging family. She could join to us but keeps distance instead. "I'll give you two some time. After that, we'll go for a walk. Together," William pushes me back a little holding my shoulders with his strong hands and looks into my drenched eyes. He smiles, I can't see anything else through this wet blur of tears and bright daylight.
I turn around, raise the polaroid camera in my hand but Max shakes her head. She wants me to keep her camera… wait it's… actually dad's camera. Where did she get it from? Whatever, since the Arcadia Bay shore has moved in front of our garden, I can definitely stop asking myself needless questions. I remove my shoes and put them beneath the bench.
"Wanna go to the swing?" I ask her. She doesn't answer but nods. The swing from our garden is repositioned to the shore digging deeply into the sand. A little crooked as it digs deeper into the sand when we both sit down on it. Both of us watching the frozen sun at the horizon kissing the blue sea. A round orangish tint that burns the horizon kindling it to a distorted curve that moves like everlasting flames.
"Look at the beat poet here," Max nudges on my shoulder and chuckles. She's wearing a necklace with three bullets jangling near her collarbone. She looks down on it and flips each bullet through her thin fingers.
"There is something, I always wanted to tell you," Max suddenly pipes up with her eyes set to the weird necklace. I startle because of this. The ocean. Finally another component that makes a sound in this deaf entity.
"I will always be there for you… no matter if dead, alive and beyond," she gazes at me. Almost as if she was in love with me. An echo resounds. A voice says something, "This is your decision to make." Hardly audible. "Eh, what?" I respond into the sky. "This is your decision," Max repeats next to me, still staring with that lovestruck sparkle in her eyes. "What decision." she changes her gaze to the polaroid camera on my lap and nods. "Take a picture of that scenic beauty or…" and she points at her lips. Or kiss her?
I stand up and walk closer to the water. Flow is about to come. Who knows, maybe it'll always remain in that about-to-come-state. I take her music player. It has played "Consequence by The Notwist" all the time. I was too stupid to turn that thing off. Well, now it's the next song that plays.
I stroll down the beach and feel the cool sands rising to little hills around my feet. All that while listening to… let's see "Don't Stay Here by Frames". Hah, what a funny coincidence. I'd never leave this place, even if the song's name tells me to. It's beautiful here.
I turn around and see my parents watching me strolling down the beach up to the sea. Both waving. In the vapor of the heat, they look akin to swirling silhouettes with a blue shine. Max sits on the swing and brushes with her feet along the sandy surface. Little clouds of sand puff around her legs tinging her trousers into a glittering light-brown around her calves.
Still, the sun set to the famous golden hour and burns the ocean in the far distance. Along with the beautiful melodies of the piano within this wonderful song. But… something interrupts this magnificent moment.
