Chapter Two

I was born on the streets of Riften with thieves' blood running through my veins. I grew up in Honnorhall Orphanage, where I was taught that the world is made up of fear. It is made of fear and filled with pain, but one can find small pleasures hidden in it if they look hard enough. That is why I asked Crosius Blackbriar to marry me that night as I knelt on the floor. He exemplified my view of the world in the way he twisted and hurt me and then fed me little scraps of love. He was strong and fierce, a warm beacon of light right up until the moment he would turn that fire upon me. Singed and bruised, I clung to the flames anyway for everything else was dark.

The first time I was arrested for stealing, he came and retrieved me in a panicked flurry, railing at guards and carrying on until they agreed that it was of course "just a simple misunderstanding". He is a man of influence in the Rift. He is also an intimidating man.

That was the first night that he made me bleed. I understood though, knew that he was just scared like me. It would take me years to realize that a man like him fears nothing. Possibly feels nothing. I am getting ahead of myself though.

Our engagement was brief and I felt as if I was on top of the world. I was marrying Crosius Blackbriar and I had never need worry about anything ever again. The Blackbriar's had money and power. They had all of Riften in their pocket. In truth, I had been living with Crosius for nearly a year and had not wanted for anything since the day I met him. But I still wandered and stole frequently, a habit that irked the Nord to no end. It was ingrained in my being however and I did not intend to stop. The one promise I did make was to leave the Thieves' Guild once I was a married man. It hurt my heart to do so, for they were the only family I had ever known, but I had to offer my man some sort of compromise. He had long since earned it by putting up with my sticky fingers and bitter heart.


The night before our wedding I made us an elaborate dinner, working in a whirl of flour and spices for several hours to surprise him when he came home. I didn't expect him back for at least the better part of an hour and I was in the midst of trying to fix a rather over-salted soup when the door swung open. I jumped with a guilty start, the surprise ruined.

"What is this?" He asked, taking in the disaster that the kitchen had become.

I fidgeted for a moment before finding my voice. "I was trying to make dinner. Since we're getting married tomorrow I thought I would surprise you," I replied. "It's not going great," I added, seeing his eyes roaming over the mess I'd made.

He was silent for a moment. Then he laughed out loud, crossing the room to pull me into his arms. He kissed me quickly, a light peck on the cheek. "Well let's see what you've made."

I scooped a bit of the soup onto a ladle, raising it to his lips. He tasted it and furrowed his brow. "Too much salt, I know…" I quickly interjected before he could comment on it.

"Its not bad though," he said. "Maybe add a little more water to dilute it and it'll be perfect." I did as he suggested and we tasted it again together, mutually pleased with the result. We moved about the kitchen as a team, cleaning as we went and fixing the several dishes I had over or under seasoned. Cooking was not among my better talents, but Crosius was surprisingly adept at knowing just what to tweak to make my attempts edible. I was working on cutting the burned edges of off a lightly overdone horker loaf when I felt him press up behind me, his hands reaching up to ghost over my chest through my tunic. I leaned back into him, smiling and humming happily. Then he was kissing the back of neck softly, murmuring into my ear that the loaf could wait a few moments. I turned into him eagerly, kissing him with much more gusto than he had expected. Before I could register what had happened I was sitting on the kitchen table, legs wrapped around his hips as he sucked at the pulse on the side of my throat. I gasped and ground myself against him. So engulfed were we that I nearly forgot the sweat rolls I had been baking until the smell of burning sugar and bread startled me back into reality. I shoved him off, hopping down to race to their rescue.

"What the hell, Lywyn?" Crosius called after me, righting his shirt as I hastily pulled the rolls to safety.

"The sweet rolls were burning," I replied with a wink. He shook his head and stifled a laugh.


Our wedding was short but stiflingly formal and I found myself shifting uncomfortably under the gazes of all of Crosius's family and friends. He had insisted that it would be unseemly for any of the Thieves Guild members to attend and although I had agreed, I still couldn't help but feel alone in the crowded temple. At one point during the ceremony, I met Maven Blackbriar's eyes and nearly shuddered at the look she was giving me. Where Crosius was intimidating, his sister bordered on terrifying. It was no secret either that she didn't much care for me. I was a street urchin and far below her family's social standing. Whenever we met she always gave me the distinct impression that she resented simply having to share air with me. But this was not about her, so I turned to Crosius with a smile and shook off the eyes that seared into my back.

After the wedding, my new husband and I stumbled into our home, already a tangle of limbs and quickly falling clothes. He steered me towards the bedroom and I let him lead me until we reached the bed where I abruptly turned the tables, pushing him down and landing on top. He laughed in surprise but it quickly turned into a moan as I covered his mouth with my own, palming his erection through his pants. I broke the kiss and he watched me with hungry eyes as I removed the last of his clothing. I didn't hesitate. I took him into my mouth to the hilt, drawing up slowly. He sighed out his approval, running a hand through my hair as I worked him up. I felt his wedding band tangle and tug painfully at my scalp. It was arousing: a reminder that we were now joined. I drew back to tease him, swirling my tongue around the tip of his member deftly. This was my show now. This was where I excelled. Within moments I had him panting and bucking up into the heat. I nearly choked when he grabbed my hair and started to pump roughly down my throat. After a long moment he stopped, suddenly pulling me back up by the hair. I could see a raw hunger in his gaze and I felt myself harden beneath it.

Then he was on top of me, pinning me down with his weight. His hands were all over me, roaming and exploring as his mouth claimed mine in a fierce kiss. He swallowed the sound I made when he started to stroke my member. By the time he took me into his mouth I was a shivering, moaning mess. My thighs were trembling with the effort of holding back my release as he started to stretch me with a finger. The discomfort of the intrusion aided me as a distraction. But that too soon turned to pleasure and I finally had to tell him simply to cease.

"Crosius, stop," I warned softly. He ignored me, mouth still working on my weeping member with far too much heat. "Please!" I nearly yelled.

He lifted his head inquisitively, fingers still inside of me. "What?" He asked.

"I'm going to explode, that's what. If you want to make it to the main event you're gonna have to ease up a bit," I panted. He smirked and flicked his tongue over the tip of my member teasingly. I tensed and shuddered just as he had expected.

"Alright, Lywyn." And then was back at work, adding a third finger, but mercifully leaving the rest of me alone to breath. I yelped and jolted when he found the particular bundle of nerves within me, and couldn't help but push back with my hips, trying for more friction.

It wasn't long before he climbed atop me and entered me slowly and lovingly. The pain came and faded quickly and then I was in heaven with my lover inside of me, the sounds of his passion helping me on my way to release. We carried on like that for most of the night, testing new positions and old limits until finally we both lay still and thoroughly exhausted. My head was resting on his chest, his arms around me. I wove my fingers into his, admiring our twin rings in the dim light that the candle provided. The gleam was intoxicating.

"Do you like it? The ring?" He asked sleepily.

"I Love it." I replied, grinning broadly. "And you," I added as a yawn escaped me. He kissed my forehead and smoothed back my hair, which had become a wild mess. I fell asleep that night with my strong Nord wrapped around me like a blanket. Something had left me the moment I had married him. I felt the distinct absence of hovering fear. I had found a pleasure in a world of pain and I intended to hold onto it forever.