Looking for a beta.


I never really understood men romantically, and maybe if I did I wouldn't have had so many failed relationships. It also made me wonder if I was more aware of the XY chromosomes if I could avoid all possible association with them.

Like my mother told me, men don't think with their brain, they think with their dangly bits. They thought with their 'dangly bits' because my mom went dam near catatonic when you mentioned the word penis, or any other private part for that matter.

Sexual education to my mother when I was growing up, was her tossing me a book and expecting me to read it, that and pretending I was a virginal saint. While my grandmother on the other hand could talk about sex like there was no tomorrow. My grandmother was the one, who taught me everything I needed to know because it was common knowledge in the family that she had many partners over the years. This was possibly the reason why my mother was so uptight about the 'sex' thing.


"No!" I snapped as I grinded my teeth. I could feel a migraine settling into my skull. Day three of the expo had proven to be even more of an irritation then the first or second day. You could thank Tony Stark and the fucking press for that. Mostly I blamed Tony Stark; he seemed like a very good excuse for all my current problems.

"Oh come on, one night won't kill you." Tony said, as he flashed me his irritably white teeth. I clicked my tongue in annoyance lifting the magazine I was holding to block my view, covering my face from everyone.

"You're right it wont, but I might kill my self." I said, flipping the page with flawless skill. The table shifted slightly as Tony pushed his hip off of it, he had been leaning against the table for at least twenty minutes now.

"And why not?" he asked, grabbing the magazine and pushing it down so he could see my face. Aggravated, I looked at him chewing on the bright blue gum in my mouth. It wasn't hard to figure out that Tony Stark was a mastermind at charming women. That was after all what he was trying to do with me, but I have had my fair share of sleazy, charming boyfriends in the past. His tricks went going to work on me.

"I like women!" I stated plainly, pulling the magazine from his large hand covering my face once again. He chucked, pushing the magazine away from my face. I groaned, rolling my eyes, in irritation. Maybe Tony Stark didn't understand body langue, because he wasn't getting the message. I was not interested in anything he had to offer.

"I know for a fact that you like men!" He said, tugging the magazine from my hands, and scanning the page I was reading. I slammed my hands on my legs loudly, before reaching forward and yanking the magazine out of his hands.

"I was reading that!" I said, folding the cover back and continued to read from where I left off, ignoring anything he had to say to me, which apparently, was a lot!

"How can you read this crap?" He asked, snatching the magazine out of my hands. I clenched my fists tightly, letting out a frustrated groan of disapproval. I could only imagine how red my face was, and I was more then positive that Tony could see the redness flushed across my face.

"Its not crap! It has valuable information!" I snapped, ripping the magazine away from his hands. If he took it from me again, I was going to give him a beating, and hopefully someone would record it and post it on Youtube!

"What kind of valuable information could you get from, that?" he snapped, pointing to the magazine in my hands. I slammed the magazine down on the table, crossing my arms over the bottom of it, continuing to read the article that was now taking me more then twenty minutes to read.

"Lot's of stuff." I muttered, resting my cheek in my hand as I continued to read. The table shifted from Tony's weight as he leaned against the table harshly. I grunted when the side of the table jammed against my chest.

"I highly doubt there is anything in that magazine with valuable information!" He said, crossing his arms as I looked up at him. He wasn't wearing the stupid orange sunglasses he was wearing the first day he harassed me, instead today he was wearing a pair of black shades that suited him much better. The outfit he was wearing was also more casual, so I could only guess he had no where to go today. Which meant the famous Pepper Pots wouldn't be dragging him away anytime soon.

Bored I flipped to an article I read earlier and begin to read out loud the small inscription on the page, "A man will subconsciously position his belly button towards the woman in the room he is most attracted to, even if he's speaking with someone else."

I looked up from my magazine, flashing him a smile. He face was blank as he thought of a smart comeback. Bored I rolled up the magazine and jammed the end to where his belly button should be.

"You, Mr. Stark are attracted to me!" I said lamely, watching him scrunch his face up in what appeared to be annoyance. His bellybutton was after all pointed in my general direction.

"I think most men are!" he pointed out lamely, like it was some obvious fact that everyone knew. I highly doubted most men were attracted to me, for a number of reasons. I highly doubted I had amazing qualities you wanted to see in your wife.

"You want to see my lady bits Mr. Stark?" I asked watching the smile spread on his face. Okay, maybe that wasn't the best thing that has come out of my mouth, but maybe it would annoy him.

"Only if you let me!" He said, flashing me his teeth with a raised eyebrow. I could feel my stomach churn in distaste, why were men such pigs? Oh that's right they only thought with their 'dangly bits'. People shot us annoyed glances.

"Is there anything in your mind that doesn't relate back to you screwing something senseless?" I asked shooting him a dirty look, leaning back in my chair, arms crossed and feet pressed against the table top.

"Sometimes, but right now I'm thinking about what it would be like to screw you senseless!" he said with a smirk, I don't understand why this was a surprise to me, but I had managed to lose my balance, and tipped the chair over slamming into the ground. Tony was at my side in an instant helping me off the ground.

I could feel the burning in my cheeks as I pulled my elbow away from his warm hands. "You're disgusting!" I spat, stepping a comfortable distance away from him.

The smirk once again spread across his face, I would never understand why women found him, sexually attractive. "You started it!" He said, running a hand threw his hair, the smile still etched on his face. I groaned rubbing my upper arm. It was a habit I had, since I couldn't rub my face, my eyeliner, and my colored in eye-brows would smudge.

"What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?" I whined, pulling the knot of my red bandanna at the back of my head, making it tighter.

"Go to dinner with me." He said simply, shrugging his shoulders and looking away from me like it was no big deal. I wanted to rip my hair out, why couldn't he just leave me alone.

"If I go out to dinner with you, will you leave me alone?" I asked, slouching my shoulders. He tilted his head towards me. I could only imagine the things that were reeling threw his disgusting man brain.

"Only if you want me to!" He said flashing me his teeth. I could feel my stomach churn in distaste. This jerk actually thought that he could charm me into wanting spend more time with him. My face twisted up into a sneer that I shot towards Tony harshly.

"Do we have a deal Stark?" I snapped, watching him fiddle with his phone. I swear he was worse then a high school girl. I didn't even know where my cell phone was, and by the time I found it there would be at least 80 messages on it from my crazy ex-boyfriend.

"Yes!" He said, sliding his phone in his pocket. He had some cheesy grin on his face, and looked more like a 12 year old boy who had received his first kiss or something.


When I was little my Mom married my step father Jack Bethune, he already had two boys who were a few years older then me, Mark and Lucas. They are now both unhappily married with about 2.5 kids. I honestly hated both of the bastards, but they didn't like me much either. Through most of my childhood, they both would bully me, saying some shit that Mark wasn't my dad, and that meant I wasn't their sister.

Later on my Mother had two more children, Kevin and Steve. Steve was born mentally handicapped, and he honestly is my best friend because Steve didn't care who my dad was, he only cared if he could pick out what colors I painted with or if I spent time with him.

Kevin was still in high school, and he was the kind of kid who spent more time working on his 'art' then with girls. Kevin liked making movies, and often tugged around a video camera and filmed the family. This had more then once led to me beating the shit out of him, I honestly never found pranking people and taping it funny. Especially when you touch my bikes, never ever touch my bikes.

When I was thirteen my mother and step-dad moved the whole family from Canada to California. I guess someone in the family had died and left my step-father a huge farm estate, which was more the big enough for our large family. Mark and Lucas moved out shortly after high school, and I moved out once for about a year, I had to come back because I couldn't afford to live by my self, and have yet to leave again.

"Aren't you a little old to be still living at home?" Mark snapped opening the fridge to pull out a beer. I rolled my eyes, as I pulled skin off the corn and placed the thick leaves in a garbage bag at my feet.

"Aren't you a little old to have a grudge?" I asked simply dropping the ear of the corn into a pot of water. I could hear Mark clear his throat, and slam the fridge door closed. The contents inside shook, and rattled. I loved my Mother, but these Sunday night family dinners had to stop. I was sick of Mark and Lucas parading around like they owned the world because they had kids.

"I'm not the one making up stories." Mark said, throwing his beer bottle cap at me. I shot him a dirty, look. Mark was about 6'1, lanky, with light blond hair, and brown eyes. He was usually clean shaven, and smelled of this shitty clone he bought at Wal-mart.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I snapped, slamming the last ear of corn into the pot. Mark laughed taking a sip of his beer, as he watched me slam the pot onto a burner and flick it on.

"Telling mom, Tony Stark asked you out? Cute, very original, but the thing is I know someone like him would never be interested in you." Mark started to laugh again, as if it were some big ass joke. Mom didn't think it was funny, when she found out I date ditched Tony she freaked, asked me 'what would Jesus do?' I told her, Jesus would have date ditched Tony too, because Jesus liked women. She had pulled out 'the spoon' and smacked my back side. I still had the large purple bruise.

"Believe whatever you want, because you are the last person on earth I would want to impress." I snapped pushing past him and out the porch door. For a moment I was blinded by the bright California sun. My eyes skimmed the vast fenced in fields of our backyard until I spotted Steve playing under a large oak tree by himself. Happily I made my way over to him, hopping the wooden fence.

Steve was fourteen years old, and at the end of summer he was going into his first year of high school. He was excited, and talked about it all the time, because he wanted to be just like Kevin and go to a 'big boy' school.

"Heather, look!" Steve yelled, holding his hand up for me to see. On the back of his hand was a long, and fat green caterpillar. I could feel the corners of my mouth tug into a small smile.

"What do you have there?" I asked sitting onto the ground beside him. He shoved his hand into my face, expecting me to see it better at closer range. I laughed, gently grabbing his hand and guiding it away from my face.

"It looks like you made a friend!" I said gently pulling the creature off his hand and into mine. Steve laughed, watching the caterpillar crawl on over my fingers.

"I think you made a friend too, Heather!" Steve said, brushing his dirty blond hair out of his blue eyes, with the back of his hand. There was small smudges of dirt all over his face which didn't surprise me, Steve was an out doors kind of kid. He liked climbing trees, and playing in mud.

"Want to ask Mom if she will cook him for dinner tonight?" I asked with a laugh, Steve gave me a disapproving look, before gently grabbing the caterpillar away from me.

"That's not funny Heather!" he said, placing the caterpillar on the ground carefully. I laughed softly watching as the creature quickly crawled away.


Tony had never been stood up before, and he thought that's how other girls he had stood up felt, he figured he could also be completely wrong about the situation because most women were obsessed with him, and date ditching them was probably the end of the world to them.

Disappointed he drove into his garage and turned off his car. With a sigh he pulled him self out of the car and allowed him self to be greeted by Pepper, who had a large smile on her face. Tony couldn't help but notice the small engagement ring wrapped loosely around her finger.

Pepper had been extremely excited that Tony had gone on a date with this Heather character he had taken so much interest in. She had figured it would be the perfect opportunity for Tony to get over their past relationship. She had after all chosen Happy, and was determined to have a very happy, long successful marriage with him.

Heather was the first woman Tony had taken an interest in since the heart break and it wasn't the kind of interest where Tony wanted to 'fuck and chuck' but he wanted to know Heather, be friends with her or more. He had driven her dam near crazy, just like he had with Pepper. In fact Pepper had seen very similar acts of behavior Tony had when he was with her. For example the same crooked smile on his lips when he talked about Heather, even if he didn't talk about her much.

Pepper had dearly hoped that Heather might be 'the one' for Tony, or even the woman that could allow Tony to get over the heart break she had caused him, and possibly help remove the awkwardness Tony felt around Pepper. Pepper still suspected that Tony still had feelings for her, even if he denied it. It made Pepper feel sorry for him and even made her want to hate her self a little. But you couldn't choose who you fall in love with; it was something totally out of your control.

"So, how did it go?" Pepper asked excitedly grasping the clip board in her hands. She wanted to know everything, but when Tony looked up at her she realized there was nothing to be excited about, and awkwardness hung in the air.

"Oh, Tony I'm sorry. What happened?" Pepper asked releasing the grip on her clipboard; she could feel her insides tighten. Tony loosened his tie, before running his hand along the back of his neck.

"Nothing, she didn't show up." He said simply, his eyes staring at the ground. Pepper's stomach dropped, she had known the feeling of being date ditched, it had happened to her once in college. It was partly part of the reason she got so angry when Tony had pulled the move on someone else. She had opened her mouth to say something to Tony when he cut her off.

"I'm going to bed; I'll see you in the morning." he said, silently walking past Pepper. She could only nod her head in agreement and mutter something about good night, sweet dreams.

Once in his room, Tony stripped down into his boxers and stared up at his ceiling with his arms crossed behind his head. Millions of thoughts were running threw his mind, mainly thoughts about how Pepper left him for Happy, and how Heather Hart had left him to look like an idiot in the middle of a fancy restaurant.

He thought that maybe he was just one of those people who never settled down, and that he was destined to live a lonely life. He was sure that one day Pepper would leave him, being a parent was something she looked forward too, and when she had kids she wouldn't be around to baby him.

The thought of Pepper leaving him frustrated him, because he knew as soon as she left he would be even lonelier then he was now. His house would be empty, and he thought it would feel even emptier then when his parents died.

Tony did miss his parents, and the older he became the more questions he wished he asked them. Questions like were you happy, or do you wish you had more children?

He liked to think his parents were happy together, but his father's drinking problem made it hard to distinguish much about there relationship. But he did know one thing, his father, when pretending to be sober would talk about how his mother was 'the one' at parties and dinners.

He would always tell the story with a half cracked smile that the first time he met Maria she wanted nothing to do with him, and it had actually taken him a few tries to get her to go on date with him. His mother would all ways laugh and joke that she only went out on date with him because she felt sorry for him. The story had always gotten a few chuckles.

His thoughts were suddenly whipped back to Heather. She was unlike any woman he had ever met; he knew that the moment he had realized that she was the mastermind behind building the bikes. The prank she had pulled was also very cute.

It was at this moment Tony decided that he was not going to give up on Heather, at least until she filed for a restraining order.


"Heather, there is a car in the drive way do you know who's it is?" My mother yelled from the front door. Lamely snapped the gum in my mouth, I continued to flip the magazine pages slowly my eyes skimming for subliminal messages.

"No Mom, I don't have any friends remember?" I yelled back, I could hear an angry sigh come from her lips as she slammed the bowl she was stirring down. There was a few seconds of silence before the front screen door creaked open and slammed shut behind her. There was no doubt in my mind the moment of silence was Mom wiping the flower off her apron.

The soft muttering of voices could be heard outside as my mother chatted with someone. I couldn't hear who, or what she was talking about but I didn't care. It wasn't uncommon for people to get lost on the country roads and pull in to ask for directions.

Suddenly the front door swung open and slammed shut, and my grandmother came running into the living room, grabbing my wrist sharply and pulled me off the couch.

"Oh Heather this man is a looker!" She chimed pulling me threw the living room, I struggled trying to pull my arm away from her. How a 79 year old woman was stronger then I, I would never figure out. With a final push she pushed me in front of a window that had its blinds closed.

"Honestly Nana?" I snapped rubbing my wrist as she harshly pulled an opening in the blinds so she could see out of them.

"Shut up Heather, and just look!" She snapped drooling over the man outside. I rolled my eyes sliding my fingers between two slots of the blinds and tugging the thin metal so I could peer out. I could barely see anything, even the car he pulled up in.

"Nana, I don't see anything!" I snapped, pulling my fingers out from the blinds. I could hear her laugh as she tugged the blinds open even wider.

"Come look!" She cooed moving over to make room for me. I had to crouch a little bit since my grandmother was a lot shorter then I. My eyes skimmed the front yard looking for the man she was talking about.

I spotted him a short distance away from his car talking to my mother designer sunglasses covering his face. My stomach suddenly twisted in anger.

"Tony." I hissed pulling away from the window and marching towards the front door slamming the front door open. Both my Mother and Tony both looked at me as I angrily made my way towards them.

"What are YOU doing here?" I snapped, watching a smile curve across his face.

"He dropped by to make sure; YOU were okay after you didn't show up for your date!" My mother said, giving me a very dirty look. I figured she didn't explain to him that I had indeed date ditched him.

"I'm fine, you can leave now!" I hissed grabbing my mothers arm I began to gently tug her towards the house.

"HEATHER!" My mother snapped, harshly pulling her arm out of my grasp. Her cheeks were glowing pink in anger.

"I've invited Tony to spend dinner with us!" She piped, poking her finger harshly into my stomach, I flinched. "You will treat him with respect young lady, and if I hear any different I will give you a spanking. Do you understand?" She snapped placing her hands on her hips.

"Yes Mom, I understand!" I murmured, rubbing my stomach. How sad was it that at the age of twenty-six I was being told by my mother she would spank me?

I felt as if a little but of my pride had been passed over to Tony Stark because if I was even a little bit mean to him, my back side would meet mother's wooden spoon.

"Dinner should be done in a twenty minutes!" She said, and with a nod of her head, she slowly made her way back into the house to make the finishing touches to supper.

"So how have you been?" Tony asked when my mother was out of view. I sharply turned around to look at him, he had his arms crossed and a soft smile was spread across his face.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I snapped shaking my head in distaste. Before he could respond I turned my heel and quickly made my way inside.