Chapter 2: Reflections

The room was entirely dark and cold. Lois blinked her eyes, trying in vain to see. Suddenly, a bright beacon of harsh light hit her, blinding her. She quickly shielded her face with her forearm, now seeing blue and purple spots in her vision. Squinting against the light, she tried to make out the scene before it.

She gasped, seeing the form of Superman, in a tangled heap on the ground. He seemed weakened somehow, and an expression of pain was written across his face. He was breathing hard, and from her position she could see him trembling.

A man slowly approached Superman's limp form. Lois tried to see his face, but it was obscured by the shadow. All she knew was that his presence made her feel cold. She shuddered.

Without a word, the man raised his arm and she could see the burning, green glint of Kryptonite in his hand.

Superman raised his head, but instead of looking up at his assailant he turned his gaze to her. His piercing blue eyes captured her with such an intense look of sadness and regret that she forgot to breathe.

The man's voice was cold and menacing,"Good bye… Superman."

With that, he stabbed downwards with the Kryptonite dagger…

"NO!" The words came tumbling out of her mouth in her state of panic, and she startled herself awake, nearly knocking all the papers from her desk onto the ground. Her heart was pounding quickly in her chest and her breathing was heavy.

Someone had rushed to stand next to her now, and she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder. But she couldn't get the image of Superman's crumpled form out of her head or the menacing sound of the man's voice out of her ears. When she closed her eyes, all she could see were those intense, sorrowful blue eyes...

"Lois, you all right?"

Startled by the voice, she turned her head quickly to come face to face with another pair of blue eyes, these were filled with worry. "Superman…" She breathed out with a tone of recognition.

The eyes widened for a second before she realized that they were hidden behind a pair of thick glasses. Suddenly realizing where she was, she blinked a few times and shook her head. When her gaze had refocused, she saw before her Clark Kent, with a very puzzled expression on his face.

"Clark!" She recovered quickly, "Wow, I'm sorry. I don't know what just happened…"

"Lois, are you all right? You just yelled out in your sleep, and you're trembling." There was a tone of genuine concern in Clark's voice.

She looked down at her hands to find that he was right, her fingers were shaking uncontrollably and she had to breathe in deeply a few more times before she could find her voice.

"I'm fine… I must've been having a nightmare." She shook her head to try and clear her mind, "I guess I've had a few too many late nights." She tried to sound as put-together as possible.

"Yeah." Now that he had confirmed she was fine, he stepped back from her a little bit, removing his hand from her shoulder. "You've had a rough couple of days… with everything that happened." He shifted his eyes to the ground, seeming uncomfortable to bring up the events of the past week. "I'm sorry, Lois. I should've been more considerate last night and told you to go home and sleep."

"What time is it, anyway?" She asked her eyes darting around to find the nearest clock.

"It's about 8… you fell asleep at your desk around 3am. You looked pretty tired, so I felt bad waking you…" He replied, his worried gaze returned to her. Good old Clark, always watching out for his friends.

"8:00…" She quickly looked around her desk at the collection of papers that were strewn across the top. "Oh no! I'm not going to have anything to show Perry…"

"Don't worry about it." He threw her a quirky smile. "I stayed up a little later and whipped up a quick article about the aftermath of the Metropolis earthquakes. It'll be on Perry's desk by 9am, and we can say we worked on it together."

She let out a sigh of relief, "Oh, Clark…" She felt bad for taking credit for an article she didn't actually help to write.

As if reading her thoughts, he quickly added. "I owe you one, anyways. For last week, when you covered for me while I was running errands." He grinned, "We're even now."

She couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Clark. You're a life-saver."

He smiled back at her, and she was struck by how content he seemed at that moment. Does he always look like that when he smiles? As if to interrupt her train of thought, her stomach gurgled hungrily. She ducked her head in embarrassment, "Sorry, I guess I'm kind of hungry."

Clark's eyes seemed to light up, "You want to go for some breakfast? We've got some time to kill before everyone else start getting in…"

Amused by his eagerness, she nodded. "Sure, but we better not be gone for too long. Perry's bound to want a staff meeting first thing in the morning."

"Don't worry," He smiled at her, "We won't be."


The café around the corner was a popular haunt for the Daily Planet employees. Aptly named Hot Off the Press, it provided a comfortable meal and a strong cup of coffee for the reporter in search of a break.

The street was beginning to become congested with morning traffic as Lois and Clark made their way down the sidewalk towards the restaurant.

Clark walked a little behind Lois, watching her with his observant eyes. It had become a habit now. The watching. He knew that Clark Kent wasn't a big part of Lois' life. Clark Kent was an acquaintance, maybe even a work friend if he was lucky. Nothing more. But that didn't stop him from constantly watching out for her. It was the least he could do to keep her in his life… his real life, not the one that was splattered all over the news channels and papers. The one that he lived quietly, as a young reporter for a big newspaper.

Something had changed about her. He had known that immediately the first time he had seen her again, after their fives years of separation. On the outside, she was still the same hard-headed, ambitious reporter who would risk anything for a good story. But, he knew, that something within her had changed. The burden and responsibility of motherhood had made her both more mature, and more fatigued. She wasn't as carefree as she used to be, she couldn't afford to be… not with Jason to think about. But, something else was different to. The stiff way she carried herself, the forced tone in her voice, the dull sheen in her eyes. She was… not happy. Not sad, but… not happy. She lived her life as a woman who had once dreamed of a fairy tale, but ended up settling for reality. She kept her days busy with work, and her nights occupied with Jason. She didn't give herself any free time, and didn't give others enough time to really know her. Even Richard, who Clark presumed was the closest person to her now in her life, had said No matter how close we are, that woman will always be a mystery to me. Why was she hiding away from the world?

It had been selfish of him, but he had been glad that Lois had come to the Planet last night. Since his return to Earth, Clark had had very little time to spend with Lois alone. But, last night, he had been able to have her all to himself.

They had existed in a quiet harmony, falling into their familiar rhythm of work. The only sound had been the quiet clicking of keys on the computer, and the gentle hum of the overhead lights. It had been a rare, peaceful night; and, selfish as it was of him, he was glad that he hadn't had to spend it alone. When she had fallen asleep at her desk, she had looked so peaceful. All the worry had relaxed from her face, and she had seemed so… innocent. He had wanted to scoop her up in his arms, and hold her close. Anything to shield her from the pain of living her everyday life.

Which, you are not helping… He reminded himself solemnly. It was true, having Superman back in her life was difficult for her. He could see the inner turmoil every time she talked about Superman. It made her life hectic. He was like a sore that stuck out in her otherwise perfect life, reminding her of a past that she had long since forgotten.

She deserved to be happy. Before Superman came back, she had made a wonderful life for herself. She had a loving fiancé and a beautiful son. Her career was taking off with her Pulitzer-winning article, and she was beginning to make a real name for herself in the reporting world.

Where do I fit in?

He knew that he couldn't interfere with her life. She didn't deserve all of the emotional turmoil and the stress. As much as Superman… as much as he wanted to be a part of her life, he knew that he couldn't be. He wasn't human. He would never be human. And as long as the world needed Superman, he could never belong to anyone else. That was the burden that he carried. It was the one that he had taken on the very first time he had decided to put on that red, blue and yellow suit.

Clark sighed heavily, lost in his thoughts. Watching Lois' small form, walking confidently down the sidewalk, he felt that familiar yearning that he always felt when he was around her. Was it too much to ask that he be allowed some happiness in his life?

As if sensing his gaze, Lois paused and turned around to wait for him. "Why so sluggish, Smallville?"

"Oh, sorry." He replied quickly as he took a few extra long steps to catch up with her. "Was thinking about some stuff…" He took a quick breath and changed the subject. "Hey, did you know that it takes about 63,000 trees to print a Sunday issue of the Planet? We should seriously consider switching to an entirely e-newspaper or something…"

She held back a laugh, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "That's the farmboy in you speaking, Clark." She motioned to the buildings that surrounded them. "Welcome to the big city, where we love to waste!"

He raised an eyebrow, about to protest and explain the importance of recycling for sustaining the Earth's delicate ecology. But she cut him off by grabbing his hand hurrying him along towards the café. "Come on, Clark. Let's get some coffee first and then we can talk about how you're going to save the Earth."

He smirked ironically to himself as he let himself be dragged towards the café. You don't know the half of it…


Lois let herself sink into the comfortable softness of the booth, reveling in the fresh smell of the coffee sitting before her. There was nothing as comforting as a nice warm cup of joe in the morning, and on a morning like this one – she was definitely going to need it.

She looked across the booth at Clark, who was busily stirring some sugar into his coffee. He was sharing some sort of obscure fact about the origins of sugar cane, but she had long since tuned him out. She allowed herself a small smile as she watched him trace circles around in his cup with his spoon.

There was something endearing about Clark's mannerisms. Sure, he was clumsy and sometimes a little awkward… but there was also something very charming about him. He always seemed to have such a positive outlook on life. She'd never seen Clark Kent angry before. He rarely complained about anything, keeping mostly to himself. As far as she knew, he didn't seem to have a very complicated life.

She cocked her head to one side and examined his features. He wasn't bad looking either. In fact, she would say that he was rather handsome… in his own little Clark way.

She was torn from her thoughts as her coat pocket started to ring. Clark stopped in mid-sentence, as she plucked her cell phone from its hiding place. "Hello?"

"Lois…"

"Richard!" She sat up straight in her seat, looked at her watch: 8:30am. She had totally forgotten to tell him where she was. He had already been asleep last night when she had left the house, and it hadn't occurred to her then to leave him a note.

"Where are you?" His voice sounded worried on the other side of the line, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah." She looked across to the table to find Clark staring at her with a somewhat intense gaze. She threw him an apologetic look and mouthed the word "Sorry." He smiled goofily and waved his hand to indicate that it was OK. "I'm fine. I'm sorry I didn't leave a note for you… I left for work a little early this morning, I wanted to get something done to put on Perry's desk by 9am." That's not really a lie.

Clark raised an eyebrow.

She ignored it.

"That's fine, I figured you must've gone into the office. I'm going to drop Jason off at school and then I'll head over to the Planet." Richard sounded less worried now. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah…" She replied, "talk to you later."

"All right, love you."

She paused. The words were on her lips, but for some reason she was having a hard time saying them. "… love you too." She finally managed to get out before she hung up and returned the phone to her pocket.

There was a moment of silence at the table, and she could sense that Clark was uncomfortable. But thankfully, he didn't say anything about it. Instead, he began his explanation about the tropical climate in which sugar cane was normally grown.

Half-listening to Clark talk, Lois sipped slowly at her coffee, enjoying its warmth as it seeped down her throat and filled her body with energy. When was the last time she had taken the time to really enjoy a cup of coffee? She grimaced to herself, certainly not since Superman had returned.

When did everything become so complicated? She couldn't help but feel a little guilty that she had lied to Richard. It was a little white lie, but it still made her feel… dishonest. But what was she supposed to say? I came to the office last night to work on my article, because I didn't want to get in bed with you while thinking about Superman? No… clearly that wouldn't have worked.

Richard was a good man. He was kind and understanding, an amazing reporter and a wonderful father to Jason. He was every bit the perfect man that she had always wanted… so why did she feel like there was something missing? Because he's not Superman. Lois scowled and silently cursed herself for making that comparison. How could she? It wasn't fair to Richard. He had done nothing wrong…

But how could she deny her feelings for Superman? He had come shooting back into her life and she had been drawn to him like a magnet. She and Superman – they had such a chemistry… such a history… and now, a son?

She shook her head. Even reaching into the deepest, darkest parts of her memory, she couldn't conjure up how it was that Jason could be Superman's son. But it was undeniable. The way that he had paled at the sight of the Kryptonite, the strength that he had found to throw that piano… she would have to be blind and on another planet to deny Jason's true paternity. But where did that leave her?

How could she raise a son with a man that she barely knew? And how could she tell Richard, a man who had done nothing but be a loving and supportive father, that his only son wasn't his? Would she have to live the rest of her life as a lie? Unbidden, she felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes. No, not now. She warned herself. This was the last place on Earth that she wanted to be having a nervous breakdown.

"Lois… are you all right?" There was such a tone of compassion in Clark's voice. It was almost as if he could read her mind and understand the confusion that was going on inside her head.

She blinked quickly to force the tears away and pasted a passable smile on her face. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired."

She looked at her colleague, sitting across the booth from her. The expression on his face told her that he didn't believe her answer. The worry in his eyes was genuine, and she almost felt the urge to spill out all of her problems to him right there. God knew that she needed someone to talk to, someone to tell her that everything was going to be OK. But she didn't. She couldn't. Part of being entangled in this ugly mess was the fact that she would never be able to talk to anyone about it…

"Maybe we should get back?" She asked, hoping to break the awkwardness.

There was a slight look of disappointment on his face, but he didn't say anything about it. Instead, he quickly finished the last of her coffee and replied, "Uh… yeah, sure."

Lois began to fish into her purse for her wallet but he had already put a few bills on the table.

"Don't worry about it, Lois. This one's on me."

She threw him a grateful look as she slid out of the booth. "Thanks, Clark."


The bullpen was full of life and energy by the time the two reporters got back to the office. Lois wove her way through the crowd, making her way back to her desk. Behind her, she could hear the familiar sounds of "sorry", "oops", and "excuse me" as Clark tried to do the same.

Finally reaching her workspace, she quickly looked at the clock. 9:00am…

"Lane, Kent, Olsen!" As if by clockwork, Perry's voice was heard over the noisy din of the newsroom. "My office. Let's go!"

Grabbing the closest notebook and pen, she hurriedly walked towards the Editor-in-Chief's office.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jimmy Olsen doing the same, nearly bowling over the copyboy as he went by. Clark had finally reached his desk, but seemed entranced by something on the TV sceen.

"… still trying to determine the whereabouts of Lex Luthor." She caught the end of the news broadcast as she walked by. "Some reports have claimed that the Luthor helicopter has been spotted on a remote island in the Atlantic, though these results are still unconfirmed. Metropolis officials…"

"Let's go, Smallville." She tugged at his sleeve to get his attention as she continued on her way to the office.

"Huh?... yeah, oh. Coming!" He heard Clark spluttering behind her as she walked through the double glass doors.

Perry and Jimmy were hunched over the chief's broad desk, looking at some proofs that Jimmy had taken. The white-haired man didn't even look up when Lois and Clark entered. "Lane, Kent, come and take a look at these. What do you think?"

Lois quickly walked to stand next to Perry, squinting at the pictures to assess them. They were pictures that Jimmy had taken during the Metropolis earthquake. There was one of the Daily Planet globe tumbling down towards the panic-stricken reporters below. The next one was of Superman, the globe on his back, gently pushing it off to one side. Next to that was a picture taken outside of the Metropolis General Hospital, where masses of people had gathered with signs reading "Get Well, Superman!" and "We Love Superman!"

"They look good to me." Lois tried to sound nonchalant, though she was having trouble not staring at the picture of Superman in front of the Daily Planet. So strong…

"Better than good!" Perry stabbed his finger into the middle of Superman's chest. "Superman and the Daily Planet: Helping a friend in need. It's got a nice ring to it."

Clark, who was standing behind Lois, peering over her shoulder, pointed at the picture taken in front of the hospital. "Wow, I didn't realize there was such a big rally in front of the hospital."

Perry raised an eyebrow. "Of course there was! Where've you been, Kent? Under a rock? They treated him like a celebrity, candlelight vigils and everything. And you know the only civilian they let inside to see him…?" He clapped a hand on Lois' back, "our very own Lois Lane."

Clark shifted his gaze to Lois, a grateful look in his eyes.

"How'd he look to you, Lois?" Perry asked, unaware of Clark's reaction.

She hesitated before answering. "Fine." Her voice was small and timid.

"I'm sure he did!" Perry continued, "I got a call last night from my contacts at the hospital saying that Superman had checked out without checking in with the staff. We're already running that 'Superman Lives!' piece today on the front page… but I want to have the first Superman exclusive after his recovery." Perry looked at Lois meaningfully.

"But Chief…" she tried to object.

"Kent," Perry had already moved on, "What've you got?"

Clark seemed surprised at the rapid transition and took a moment. "Uh…" he adjusted the glasses on his nose, before hastily offering an article in his outstretched hand. "Lois and I put this piece together."

Perry took it quickly and began skimming it, his keen eyes darting over the page.

"It covers the extent of the damage that Metropolis incurred during the earthquake." Clark explained, shifting nervously from foot to foot. "There are a few quotes from the Fire and Police Departments, detailing their recovery efforts. I made a call into the Mayor's office as well, to try and get a quote – he wasn't available to comment."

Perry nodded his head. "Fine." He tossed the article onto his desk, "Give the Mayor another try, get a quote, and we'll run this in tomorrow's edition."

He put his hands in his pockets. "Our big story right now is Superman's recovery. I already got a memo this morning saying that Metropolis officials are calling for his help to try and find Lex Luthor."

"I'll bet Big Blue's just itching to his hands on Luthor." Jimmy piped up, "I heard that Luthor actually left a mark this time. Stabbed him with some Kryptonite – they had to get the last of it out of him at the hospital before he could make a recovery."

"Good! The messier the better." Perry nodded. "Kent, I want you to find out all the details of what happened between Superman and Luthor. Talk to the officials, talk to the doctors, sleep with some nurses if you have to."

Clark made a gagging sound at this.

Perry continued, never missing a beat. "Let's find out just how invincible Superman is." Then, as if remembering something, he whirled to look at Lois. "Do you know anything about this?"

Lois' mouth flapped open and then closed as she fished for a proper response.

"Kent, get the details from Lois on this one. Let's see if we can use the public's Superman sympathy to our advantage." Perry put his own interpretation on Lois' failure to respond.

"Olsen, I want pictures. Go to the police station, see if you can get a good shot of Superman working with the officials." He pondered for a second, "Let's dig through the archives and see if we can find a decent picture of Luthor to run beside it."

"Got it, Chief." Jimmy shifted the camera around his neck.

"All right. Let's get moving, folks. The news isn't going to write itself." He pointed at Lois, "Lois: Superman." He moved onto to Clark, "Kent: Luthor." He put his hands on his hips, "Let's milk this story for all it's got."