Hello everyone! I'm sooooooo sorry that I haven't been up-dating my fics for a long while. A lot of stuff has been happening and I just wasn't feeling like myself. That and I'm now a senior in high school. So,I've been working my ass off. Anyway,my computer is also working again. -jumps for joy- YAY! Which means that I will be up-dating my fics. Oh! Another reason that I haven't up-dated is because I've been writing the summaries to the chapters of my fics in a small dairy. You know,so that I can be more organized and not forget anything. But,let's forget about my ranting. I know that a lot of people want me to up-date Chemicals React,It Takes My Pain Away,and Everytime We Touch. But,I've decided to get my other fics that I haven't up-dated in a long time up to date. So I decided that I'm going to be working on this fic for a while. So,without further ado,here's the long waited for chapter in On The Lips. Enjoy
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Chapter 1: Moved On
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Cold. That's what today was. So very cold. My hands felt like they were frozen in a block of ice. I could barely feel them,let alone move my fingers. My body was shaking every time the wind blew. I could never take the cold. I'd always stay inside even on days that I had something important to do. But,today was different. I needed to come out of my warm home and out into this cold weather. I needed to come out to visit him. I didn't want him to think that I had forgotten him. Plus,I haven't been out here for over four months. By now,he must be really sad. And I don't want him to be. I want him to be happy where he goes. I don't want him to think that I have abandoned him. Because I haven't. And I won't.
I stopped walking and now stood in front of the cemetery. I looked up at the gates and felt a pang in my heart. These gates...I hate coming here and seeing these gates. Every time I come here I just wanna turn back and go home. That's why I haven't come here. It...It just hurts. It hurts too much.
"But...I can't go back..."
My heart may be hurting. My mind may be telling me to go back. But,I won't. I've been running anyway from this for too long.
I closed my eyes. With one foot in front of the other,I walked passed the gates and headed straight.Tombstones passed by. Tons of them were lined up next to each other. Seeing this really makes me want to go home now. I just can't stand to see this.I want to go back. But,the problem is that my feet won't stop. They just keep on taking me forward. They keep moving. It's like no matter how much my mind says for me to go back,my body,well my feet,just won't listen. God,please. Just make it stop. I'll go anywhere but here. I know that I said I'd come after a long time absence,but no! I don't want to. I can't take it! I just can't! It's too much for me!
My mind went blank as soon as my feet stopped. Throughout the whole time I was walking,my eyes were closed. (A/N: Yes,I know that if you try walking with your eyes closed that you're gonna end up busting your ass,but I don't care! It'll be explained in time) I closed them because the sight of all the tombstones was really getting to me. Not only was it getting sad,but it was also getting me scared.
Slowly,I opened my eyes and they went wide. I had stopped in front of Grampa's grave. I knew it was here,but my eyes didn't widen because of this. No. They widened because I thought this would all be a dream. All of this. I thought that maybe all of this that has happened was a dream. And that Grampa wouldn't be here,buried six feet under the ground. That he would be following me here. That he would ask me what I was doing here,that there was no reason for me to be here. And after he would tell me that we'd go home together...But none of that would happen...
Because Grampa is not here...Because Grampa is dead...
"Why...Why did you have to leave?"
Pain met my knees when I fell on them. I didn't care if they hurt or not. I didn't care if the dirt on my pants would stain them. I didn't care about the cold wind that blew at me. I just didn't care about anything anymore. And I've stopped caring from the moment that my Grampa died. Everything that I ever cared for had left me from that day on...
"Grampa..."
I crawled over to the tombstone,leaves that had fallen off the trees crunched as I moved. More dirt came onto my pants and I could care less. When I stopped in front the the tombstone I could see lots of dirt on it. Leaves had covered it completely making it look like there wasn't a tombstone here in the first place. This means that no one has visited my Grampa in a long while. Which is sad. He had so many people who cared about him and yet not one of them has come here to put some flowers or something. It was very sad indeed. And this hurt me. It hurt me a lot. So much that it hurt me even more it realize that I'm one of those people. That I haven't come here once since his death. Not to talk to him,not to give him flowers,not to do anything. Not nothing at all. And I'm not supposed to do that. I'm his grandson for Christ's sake! I'm the one who should be seeing him non-stop! I'm the one who should be coming here to talk to him. I'm supposed to come here and put flowers. I'm supposed to do all of this!
And yet...I can't...I just can't do it! Any of it! He may have died a long time ago,but to me it still feels like it was yesterday! The pain of losing him is still fresh in my mind! The wound has not healed yet! And it never will!
I got up and ran. Ran as fast and as hard as I could. Away. Away from this place that I,too,will be forced to come one day. But not as a visit. But as a place where I will stay for as long as time goes on.
Grampa...I'm sorry...
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"What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to see you."
"I thought I told you to not come here ever again."
"But,I can't help it,Yugi! You're my friend no matter how much you push me away! I'll always be your friend and you'll always be mine! So please let me come in!"
Shaky,crystal blue eyes stared straight into my amethyst ones. This mini staring contest went on for a couple of minutes before I sighed and opened the door wider. A squeal came from my uninvited guest who jumped right in and made her way up the stairs. I sighed once more. Closing the door behind me I made my way up the stairs into the living room where my guest was in. She was walking around the room. Looking and touching everything that was in front of her. It was as if she were trying trace everything into her eyes and mind. She picked up pictures and things that decorated the room carefully. The look she had in her eyes was the look you'd get when you'd reminisce about something. It was a look that always made me sad. It was a look that I don't want to have on my face...
"It feels like it's been forever since I've here."
"So basically four months is forever,huh? I wonder what more than four months would be. Not forever that's for sure."
A glare came from my guest as I leaned against the doorway. She huffed and walked over to one of the couches and sat down. She motioned for me to do the same by pat the spot next to her. I just stared at her before pushing myself away from the door frame and walking over to the window and sitting in a chair the was placed near it. Another came from my guest,but silence soon followed. I knew that since it had been a long time since we've seen each other that there are many things that she wants to tell me. Things that have happened to her and everyone else that I've known. Things that are going on. But,most importantly things about me. I know that she wants to do this,but she just doesn't know how to start it off. Start this conversation with me. Before she was able to talk to me about any and everything. But since the passing of my grampa,it's been even hard to call me.
I looked towards my guest and examined her. Her body hasn't really changed that much. Her legs and arms look more slender than from before. And as for her breasts,well they've stayed the same and haven't gotten any bigger. She doesn't have that teen look anymore either. Her face looks more in between that of a teenager and an adult. Her brown hair had grown a bit past her shoulders but stayed above the middle of her back. Yup,not much has changed...I think that no matter how much time passes,I'll always be able to know who she is.
Because she was the person whom I once fell in love with...Tea...
"You haven't changed at all."
Tea jerked her head up and looked at me. Her eyes looked shocked because I was the one who spoke first. But,they softened when I smiled at her. I'm pretty sure that made her happy seeing as how I haven't really smiles in a long time.
"Yes I have. I'm no longer a little helpless teenage girl. I'm now a strong,working woman."
"Yes,yes. You are right there."
A giggle came from Tea. Hearing her giggle like that still makes my heart flutter. But,not in the way that you think. No. In the way that makes me a bit happy because I haven't heard it a while. My heart just fluttered out of happiness. That's all.
I stop thinking of my fluttering heart and looked away from Tea. "So,what stray animal decided to lead you here?"
"No animal brought me here. I just decided that it's about time that we start talking to each other."
"I see." I sighed and brought my hands up to rest on my knees. "You know I told you not to come here ever again. Right?"
Tea frowned at what was said,"Yes,you did. But I just couldn't stay away. I've done it for four months and I just couldn't continue."
"Too bad. You're gonna have to respect my decision."
"But I don't want to!"
"Tea."
Heels clicked and clacked on the floor. Soon I felt arms wrapping around me and pulling me. I didn't move. I just stayed completely still. It all happened so fast I didn't even blink. When I did it was because I felt something wet fall on my face. I looked up and saw that it was Tea. Tea was crying. "Wha..."
"Yugi,please! Why have you become like this? Why have you changed so much? Why did you push everyone away when all we wanted to do was be there for you? Why,Yugi! Please tell me why!"
Why? Why did I drive you all away? Is that what you want to know,Tea?
A smile danced upon my lips. That's all she wants? Just to know why. She knows why I'm the way I am. Why I've changed. But,she doesn't know why I pushed her and everyone else away...
Tea...
"Why? Why did I push you all away? It's really simple..."
I felt Tea tense up. I knew what she was thinking. She thinks that the reason I pushed them all away was because I just didn't like them anymore. But,that's not it. Taking a deep breath I looked up at her as I tried to stop my bottom lip from quivering.
"I pushed you all away because I don't want to lose you guys!"
With that said,tears started running down my cheeks. Sobs that I've been holding in for such a long time escape. My body shook because of how much I was crying. I couldn't stop it. The shaking was too much. I though I was gonna end up falling of the chair,but Tea held me tighter. I heard her sobbing. God...I made her cry again...
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"Are you feeling better?"
Tea handed me a cup of coffee. I took it and tried to cool it down by blowing the stream away. It felt warm and it was just what I needed. Something nice and hot to keep me in check.
"Yeah...I'm feeling better." Tea smiled and took a seat next to me.
During the time that I had calmed down I was able to ask Tea what had been going on with everyone. She told me that Joey was out of town with his cousin seeing the sights. Tristan was with Serenity in America trying to promote a business that they started together. And as for Seto...He's dating Tea.
"I still don't see how you ended up with Seto."
Tea blushed when I said this. "I already told you. About two months ago Mokuba told me that Seto wanted to see me. So,I went to his mansion. It was kinda funny when I saw him all dressed up. But I had no idea that he was gonna take me out on a date." A pause came from Tea and her blush turned a deeper shade of red. "It was a nice date. Everything was fun and just what I've always wanted. Then Seto confessed his love for me. He had a hard time because he wasn't used to expressing feeling like those. He turned really red and kept saying how he was so embarrassed. I found that cute. To tell you the truth,I never imagined that Seto would have feelings for me. At the moment I was really surprised." Everything got quiet. Tea kept twiddling her fingers,as if she was struggling to say something.
"The moment after Seto confessed and my shockness was gone,I ran."
"You ran? Why?"
A smile came upon Tea's lips,"I ran because at that exact moment your face popped up in my head."
"My...face?"
She nodded,"You see Yugi,at the moment I still had feelings for you. But,they were going away slowly because I didn't see you as often as I did. I guess that me running away was my way of saying 'no' to Seto. I kept thinking as I ran that I still loved you. I wasn't over you yet. I still wanted to try and be with you. All these things kept flowing into my mind. I kept saying that if I just keep running as far from Seto that he'll get the message and forget about it." Another smile graced Tea's lips. "But I was wrong. I remember getting pulled to a stop and turning around to see him there. I tried to break free from his grip and run. Run away to come here to your house. I think he knew that and it was what he said that made me feel that I should be with him."
I tilted my head to the side. A giggle came from Tea. She knew that I was curious as to what made her fall for him at that moment.
"Seto looked into my eyes and said,'I'm not going to let you go. Because if I do you'l go and keep chasing after Yugi. Knowing very well that he doesn't feel the same way as you. Also,if I let you go,you'll never come back to me. And I'll never get to love you like you deserved to be loved.' And that was it." (A/N: Yes,I know. That was very OC of Seto,but I needed to do it!)
I sat there looking very dumbfounded. Seto said that to her? THE Seto Kaiba actually went and said something that romantic to Tea? I couldn't believe it and I know that Tea could see it written on my face. She just started laughing as she pointed at me.
"Oh my god! Yugi,you're as red as a tomato!"
I placed my hands on my felt that they were hot. I took a cushion from the couch next to me and placed it on my face. I cursed at Tea which made her laugh even more. She knew why I was blushing. It was because I tried to imagine Kaiba saying all that stuff.
"Can we get away from the blushing subject and get back to you."
Tea wiped away some tears that were the result of laughing too much."Okay." A giggle escaped her mouth,but she stopped when I gave her a glare. "Well,after Seto said those things I guess he had me right then and there. With every moment that I spent with him,the feelings I had for you started to disappear. When that happened I realized something very important."
"And that was?" I edged her on.
"That the feeling that I had for you weren't really feelings of love. They were feelings of obsession."
I twitched. That kinda hurt.
As if sensing what I was thinking Tea waved a hand in front of her."Please don't take it the wrong way! What I meant was that I've been so close to you that I was afraid of losing you. I was afraid that you would leave me all alone and that I'd never get to see you again. Feeling that fear made me start thinking that I needed to find a way to keep you near. And that's when I started going after you." Tea laughed,"But in the end,none of that worked. When I confessed to you,you saw right through my act. Only you sugar-coated the way you said it."
"But it was all worth it,huh?"
"Yes. Yes,it was. If you hadn't rejected me I wouldn't have known what real love is and who it could come from."
I couldn't help but smile. Seeing Tea happy made me happy. And I knew that other than wanting to see me,she wanted to thank me. Thank me for rejecting her. Which is kind of weird.
"Thank you,Yugi."
"Your welcome."
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Tea only stayed for about a half and hour more before telling me that she needed to leave. Telling me that she would come to visit me since I had told her the truth about why I had pushed her and everyone else away. And for some reason I didn't tell her that she shouldn't come back. I guess a part of me wanted to bring back that bond that I once had with everyone before Grampa passed away. And maybe this is the chance that I've been waiting for. Then again,it could also be telling me that if I get involved s again that something bad might happen.
I walked over to my room. Sighing heavily I laid down on my bed. Tea's visit had taken out so many things from me. Emotions that I tried so hard to not show. Memories that I wanted to keep locked up. And a distance that I thought could keep. But,in the end all of it came back. And that was one thing I didn't want to happen.
"I'm still not strong enough..."
I turned to my to lay on my side when my desk caught my eyes. A small smile came upon my lips. It was here in my own room where Tea had confessed to me that she had...'feelings' for me.
It happened after right after Battle City. I decided that it was best for everyone to hangout together since all the stuff that happened had really fucked up with our minds. This would give everyone some thing to do. Plus it was something that would make us feel like normal teens. Like none of this stuff was real. And it would be good for me since I was the one who had gotten everyone into this mess. So,I felt responsible.
And just like I thought,everyone did have fun. Joking around,making noise,all the things that normal teens would do. That night I felt so calm and relieved...But,Tea kind of ruined it.
When the 'party' was done Tea had stayed behind to help me clean up the mess that was made. I always knew that Tea was giving off signs of liking me,but I always brushed them off. Anyway,when the both of us were up in my room she started to get nervous. She kept edging on at the fact that she wanted to tell me something. The thing was that she was having a hard time doing so. And the only way she could try and get it out was by coming over to me and trying to kiss me. I didn't let her though. When I saw how close Tea was and what she was trying to do,I pushed her away with so much force that she fell to the ground. I had apologized for my actions,but she told me that I didn't have. And that's when she came out with it.
I stood there frozen at her confession. It took me a while to unfreeze and smile a sad smile to her. I told her that I didn't feel the same. Tea blacked out. She cried and told me how long she had liked me. But,I didn't give her a chance to keep going. I told her that I did have feeling for her at one time. But,she didn't see me. She never once looked at me and so I decided to let go of those feelings for her go. And that now,they were completely gone.
Tea,of course,was in shambles. She just kept crying and crying. Even if I didn't like her anymore I still cared about her. And I hated the fact that I hurt her. The only thing I could do for her was just hold her til she stopped crying. All I could do was show her that I was only a friend.
I shook my head and turned to my other side. The nice,plain white wall greeting my eyes. Why was I remembering that any way? I don't want to remember. I closed my eyes. What I needed was sleep. I had too much excitement today. My body needed rest. Slowly I pushed everything that happened today to the dark depths of my mind. I no longer felt my bed nor anything else. A smile came upon my lips. This is what I want. To seep onto the darkness. A darkness that's takes me away from the pain of the real world. A darkness where he used to be in...
"Yami..."
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Hello! I'm sorry I took a heck of a long time in up-dating this fic. I kinda forgot the plot I had for this one. -anime sweat drop- Anyway,I'm not sure if you guys liked this chappy,but I did. Either just tell me what you thought about. My next chappy will have an old friend of Yugi's come in! Yay! But,this is all I have to say for now. So,ta-ta!
Daisuke Uchiha
