Chapter 2
Claire woke the next morning feeling horrible from yesterday's event. She had barely slept the whole night, so when the alarm went of the following morning she not only felt sick, she also looked sick from the lack of sleep. She had been thinking the most of the night and questioning herself. Did I really do the right thing? She rolled to the left and faced the left side of the room. She sighed and took a deep breath to try and get her thoughts under control. Her eyes caught a picture of Alex, Nick and herself. She couldn't have been more than 19 years old in that picture, and Alex would be 20. She managed to get a smile across her face - She wished herself back to that time, she didn't have a carry in the world. Her biggest fear was losing a bet to Alex Ryan, and let him mock her around. If only life was this easy now.
She got up and slowly walked to her closet. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror - She couldn't stand to look at herself, she felt disgusted by the choice she had made. Or not so much the choice, more the situation she had allowed herself to be put in. The choice was by far the best for Drover's. She threw on the first and best she found in the closet and went downstairs for breakfast. No one said a word to each other, the silence was getting awkward. Becky kept staring at Claire as she poked the eggs on her plate with the fork. She didn't understand why she would go back to Peter, after all she had put her through. She remembered it clearly, because she had been the one to tell Claire about the wife in Queensland. Claire noticed Becky's eyes on her, but tried to ignore her. She didn't needed anyone else to judge her, she had plenty of judgement in herself.
A car pulled up outside and Claire knew at once who it was. She looked at Tess who made a signal with her head, telling her to go outside to him. She had to use all of her strength to walk outside and greet Peter. The walk ended sooner than she would have hoped and she found herself outside in seconds. Peter was already out of the car, bringing out bag after bag. Had he just hoped for Claire to say yes to the proposal, since it looked like he had planned his packing well - It wasn't just the essentials he had brought, it was more like his whole closet. "You wanna help?" he said from the car in a cheerful way. Not really. Claire walked to him, trying to smile. "You sure packed a lot of stuff, when you weren't even sure I would say yes" Claire said looking suspicious at him. He smiled "I know you. I didn't doubt you would make the right decision". He placed his arm around her waist and pulled her in. "I'm so happy we are going to do this" he said and hugged her so tight, he lifted her a bit from the ground. All of the cells in Claire's body screamed and begged him to let go. "Peter. We still have some things to sort out" Claire said, trying to make him understand this wasn't as easy as he wanted it to be. "I know, but we can work through it - I'm sure we can" Yes, well I'm not. I just don't have a choice.
Claire took one of his bags in her hand and started to walk back to the house, with Peter following her like a dog. They were almost back when she heard another car coming - She turned around to see it was Alex. As he parked the car in front of the house, the wheels left a huge cloud of dust behind. He got out of the car, faster than expected. "What the hell is this?" he asked and slammed the door. His eyes were raging and his body language didn't exactly invite to a friendly conversation. "Not now Alex" Claire said as she walked towards him. She knew this wouldn't end well.
"What is this knob doing here?" he said and walked passed Claire to face Peter. "She had agreed to marry me" Peter said in a pompous way. Alex stopped his movement when he heard Peter's words. Marriage - No, that couldn't be right. He turned his head towards Claire, his eyes were hurting. "Is that true?" he asked in a gentle voice. Claire didn't answer him, she couldn't get herself to tell him the truth. She didn't have to talk, he could see it in her eyes - It was true, they were getting married. Alex suddenly felt like he couldn't breath. It felt like someone was grasping his organs and pulling them down. He had never felt like this before. Is this what panic attack feels like and why am I even panicking?
He stood in his own thoughts for a moment, before he finally realised what was going on. "You couldn't just leave her alone could you? You had to walk straight into her life once again, and ruin everything" he shouted. "Alex, just go. Please. We'll talk about this later" Claire said and grabbed him by the arm, urging him into his Ute. But Alex weren't ready to leave, how could he leave on news like this. He pulled his arm out of Claire's grip and threw a punch in Peter's direction. Alex's fist collided with Peter's jaw before any of them could register what had happened. "Alex cut it out!" Claire hissed, trying to get between them - but without luck. She wasn't a match to the men forces and she couldn't stop the fight that was about to take place in front of her. Alex was in a whole different world and pushed Claire away as she tried to split them up. Peter swung a punch in Alex's direction, but he was faster than him and ducked right as the fist was about to hit. A massive fight was evolving in front of Claire and there was nothing she could do to stop it. "What is going on?" Tess asked as her and the other came running from the back of the house. "We got to stop this, Claire" Tess said and looked at her sister. Claire was standing with tears in her eyes, this was such a mess - But she knew Alex wouldn't have taken the news well, this was to be expected.
In all the fuss they hadn't noticed Nick pulling up beside Alex's ute. He almost got out of his car, faster than Alex had. He runned towards Peter and Alex to stop their fight - and with great force he got between them and shoved Alex away. "This isn't worth it mate. Stop" Nick said and looked his brother straight in the eyes. Alex looked at Nick. "You are right" he turned his head towards Claire. "This isn't worth it". Claire felt her heart ache as he had said that - she knew it was directed at her. Alex walked past Claire and Tess, but before he got in his ute he took a final look at Claire and shook his head. Meg walked to Peter's side to help him inside, he had gotten his ass kicked pretty badly by Alex. The rest followed, beside Claire and Tess. Claire couldn't move. All she wanted to do was shout for Alex to come back, explain why she had decided to marry Peter - She needed him to save her from this mess, she had gotten herself into.
Alex slammed his hands against the wheel as he was driving away from Drover's. Music was blasting out of the stereo in the car as he drove around on the narrow roads, leaving trails of dust behind him. Claire had been on his mind since he left Drover's, he was so mad at her. He thought she was better than this - out of all people she had to chose the biggest knob of them all. He shook his head as he had before he drove away, what did she see in him? Was he missing something here? He suddenly got to think about their business, they had come a long way, how could she throw it all away?
He had no intention on working with Claire as long as the bastard was around. He didn't even know if he could be her friend if it involved accepting Peter as her husband. He knew she could do better than him - why settle? He stopped the car and smashed his hand against the steering wheel once again. He knew the decision he was about to make would tear Claire apart, but if they couldn't work together, he could might as well pick up the horses. He turned the ute and drove towards Wilgul. He got out in a hurry and got the horse trailer attached without thinking of the consequence his actions could have. He drove back towards Drover's with the horse trailer.
This time he didn't park out front - didn't really want to cross paths with Peter again. He parked his ute in the back, near the stables. Nick was still at Drover's, helping Tess transport some seeds they needed at Wilgul for the organic wheat. Nick stopped with his work as soon as he saw Alex pull up - this smelled like trouble. "You shouldn't be here right now" Nick said as his brother walked past him and Tess. "I'm just here for the horses, I'll be on my way again soon enough" Alex said and kept walking. Tess looked confused at Nick. "The horses?" She asked and followed Alex. "I don't understand, didn't you agree on training the horses here?" Alex didn't answer her question, he kept walking to the horse ring. As soon as he turned the corner he could see Claire was standing in the middle of the ring with Casino. He knew he had been rough on her - but he couldn't believe how dumb and blind she was.
"Alex is here to pick up the horses" Tess said as they came closer. Claire dropped the rope she was holding and her eyes got big. "What? Alex - you can't do that" she said and jumped the fence. "Watch me" he said and found the first horse. "We have contract" Claire said, begging him to listen to her - It was pointless, she was like an annoying humming around him. She ran in front of him, so he couldn't get past her. "Don't you do this to my Alex. Don't you dare take this away" - It was the only thing Claire had left to keep her insanity in place. Alex looked at her with an empty look. "You made your own choice. I'm not sure I can ever forgive you for this" he said and shoved her away with his shoulder, as he walked past her. "Forgive me? You have nothing to forgive me for" Claire said. She could feel the tears pressing to come out. If only she could tell him what was going on.
"I really thought you were better than this Claire" Alex said as he walked back to get the last horse. By now Claire was more angry than sad - how could he speak like that to her, they were mates. He was supposed to have her back. "Better than what? Did it ever occur to you, that I actually have the room in my heart to forgive and let go - unless some other people?" the last part of question was directed at Alex. Well, the truth was that she hadn't forgiving Peter and she wouldn't, but she couldn't tell Alex that - not matter how much she wanted to.
Claire followed him as he went for Casino, her mind was racing with thoughts. "So this is it?" she asked and looked helplessly at Alex, as he got Casino attached to the rope. Alex didn't answer her, he walked straight past her as she was invisible. She didn't understood how he could be this cold, he was the only true friend she had ever had. It couldn't and it shouldn't be this way. "Alex you can't do this" Tess said as she got up to his ute. She wanted to tell him why all of this was happening, but she knew she couldn't. Claire walked slowly back towards them, the tears were pushing to come out. "I can't work here, when Peter is going to be around" Alex said and turned his head to Claire. Claire looked back at him with no expression on her face, she was lost for words. As Alex loaded Casino in the trailer he got a sting of heartache, was he really doing the right thing here? He could see Claire's world falling apart in front of his eyes, he hated seeing her upset.
"Can't you just talk to me?" he said in a gentle voice, approaching Claire. He could see the tears was building up in his eyes. "I" she looked down on the ground. She was about to drop the bomb, but she knew no good would come out of it. "I don't know what to tell you. I love him". The words ripped the last of the pieces that hold her heart in place. He knew there was something more, he could feel it. Dammit Claire, can't you just for once admit you are in deep water. He shook his head and started to walk back to the ute. "Just remember you made this decision" he said to her, before driving off.
Claire needed to get away from Tess and Nick, the tears were coming and she couldn't stop them. She turned her back on them and started to march back to the stables. Not long after Tess and Nick could see Claire ride with great power away from Drover's. Nick looked at Tess with a worried look. "Should you .. " Tess shook her head, "No, she needs time" she said and finished Nick question he hadn't got to finish. They both took a deep breath. "I'll try and talk to Alex. He overreacts sometimes, but this time - I have never seen him like that before" Nick said. Tess smiled at Nick, grateful for his will to try and calm Alex down. She stroke his arm and started to walk back to the house. "Tess?" Nick asked. She turned to him and waited for him to continue. "What is the deal with all this? Peter and Claire I mean". "Sometimes you can't control what you heart wants" she said and walked away from Nick. She wondered how long they could keep this lie, it was bound to come out at some point.
Nick found Alex sitting outside on the bench in front of the house, when he got back to Wilgul. He didn't understand his brothers actions back at Drover's, what was it all about? He slowly walked to him and placed himself beside him on the bench. The didn't say a word to each other. Alex handed Nick a beer. "Thank mate, but it's not even 11 yet" Nick said. Alex finished the rest of the beer he was drinking, and opened the one he had offered Nick.
Alex took a deep breath and leant back on the bench. This was about the worst day he had ever experienced. Nick could see his brother was a mess inside. "What is going on mate?" he asked and waited for Alex to say something. "Mate." Alex stopped. He was overwhelmed with feelings of hate, anger and jealousy. "He is a bastard" he finally continued. "And that gives you the clear to walk around and hit people?" Nick asked - No, this was more than just Peter being a knob. "She deserves more. She doesn't deserve to be with someone like him" Alex said and took a sip of his beer. "You mean she deserve someone like you?" Nick asked, he could read between the lines. Alex looked at him. Someone like him? No, Claire did diffenently not deserve a man like him - but where was this jealousy feeling coming from. Did he feel more for Claire than he let himself think?
"That is not what I'm saying" Alex finally said. "But it's exactly what you are saying mate. Her happiness isn't for you to judge" Nick answered him in a harsh way. "God mate." Alex said and got up from the bench, feeling rather irritated. "He lied to her about his wife and you think she deserves to be around a man like that?"
"No, but it's not for me to judge her decision. Claire is a friend of mine, and all that's important is for her to be happy. If you can't handle it, you should have acted on your feelings a long time ago" Nick said and walked away from Alex. Act on my feelings?
"What do you mean with that?" he asked to his brothers back. Nick turned around and a small but confident laugh found it's way out - he looked at Alex and shook his head. Was he really this much in denial. He disappeared into the house and Alex was left alone outside. He was confused and the feeling of losing Claire - as a mate, suddenly hit him, harder than he expected. This wasn't worth fighting over, Claire had always been his mate. He couldn't imagine it any other way. He kicked the tire on his ute in anger of what he had just did, Claire would never forgive him for it. He knew how much the horse training meant to Claire - What a absolutely moron of a friend he had been. Nick was right - Claire's happiness weren't for Alex to judge, he should support her. Even if it meant he had to tolerate Peter.
He needed to talk to Claire but what would he say? He couldn't say anything that would make up for his actions. No, the best thing he could do right now was letting Claire get some space and maybe tomorrow they could talk about what a lousy friend he had been.
It was the first night with Peter, but Claire couldn't sleep with him in the room - It didn't feel right. She had made her way over to the armchair in the other end of the room, and was crawled up in a blanket. She looked at the bed where Peter was asleep and closed her eyes. God, she couldn't stand to be near him. The light from the moon and stars reflected in Claire's face and a small line of light crossed the floor. She opened her eyes once again and started into the dark. She wondered when and where they would get married, would his kids be there? Well, of course they would. She sighed. This was all getting too much for her.
She got out of the blanket and walked to the window. The stars were so bright tonight and the moon lit everything up making the fields glow in moonshine - For a moment of happiness filled her body. The marriage to Peter was the only way to keep Drover's. She couldn't just give up on it, it had always been her life and she sure wanted to keep it that way. But the happiness soon got replaced with the hate she had build up towards him. She hated him for putting her in this situation - Why couldn't he just have turned in the letter. What did he accomplished with all this. She shook her head. She knew. He wanted her, he had always wanted her and he didn't let anything get in the way of that. Her eyes started to tear up - This wasn't the life she wanted, but how could she get out of it without losing Drover's. She closed her eyes. She couldn't get out of this one, it would be impossible, Peter would take it all away with a blink of an eye if she tried.
She startled when Peter mumbled something in his sleep and rolled to the other side. She had been caught in her own thought about the time they were happy together. At the time she felt like she had found her soulmate, the man she was going to live the rest of her life with, but then everything had been turned upside down. She couldn't be in this room anymore, she needed to get some air, to clear her thoughts. She walked outside and grabbed a chair on the porch. Her whole body was shivering and and she finally broke down, this was not her life, it couldn't be. She sobbed into her hands and couldn't stop the emotions, she had kept inside from finally coming out. She needed to get out of this, it was the first night with him here and she already felt disgusted. She couldn't spend another night with him. Time passed by quickly and before she knew it, daylight slowly crawled its way over the hills, leaving everything in a beautiful orange colour. She looked out on the land that surrounded her and she got to think about Alex. She couldn't believe how he had reacted. She was a bit angry with him, he was supposed to be her friend - best friend, and she couldn't even count on him. She shook her head, this was stupid. She needed to see him, she needed to try and talk some sense into him.
Peter was still asleep when she got back to the bedroom, so she quietly found some clothes and put it on before going to the stables. She saddled up Eagle and rode out into the sunrise. It would have been a perfect morning for a ride, but this morning she could think of anything else, then she needed to fix things with Alex. As she got to Wilgul she dismounted Eagle and dried the tears away, that had found it's way to her eyes. Nick came in sight in the door. He opened it wearing his PJ's. They were green with red shapes and both top and bottom matched - She had never thought of him as the PJ type of guy. "To what do we owe the honor of this fine visit this early?" He joked. She tried to laugh, but it didn't got out very convincing. Nick walked closer to her with a worried look in his eyes. "You ok?" He asked.
Claire didn't knew how to answer that question. She wasn't okay, she was far from okay - but she couldn't tell him that. Suddenly a voice behind Nick reached her ear. "What are you doing here?" it was Alex, he was standing in the door with his arms crossed. He looked rather pissed. This is going to be harder than I thought.
Alex walked towards her and Nick. "I'll let you two talk" Nick said and walked back to the house. They didn't say anything, they just looked at each other - none of them knew what to say or how to begin. They had these amazing plans together and now they were hanging on a thin leash. Alex could clearly see she was upset and he immediately regretted how he had acted yesterday - well almost, he still stood his ground on working with her as long as Peter was around. He could simply not do it.
"Claire" he said and took a deep breath. It pained him to see her this upset. "Look. I'm sorry about yesterday" he looked at her. "Yeah. Yeah, me too" She said and her eyes reached his. "I've been an awful friend. If you want to marry Peter, you should". She was caught by surprise by that comment - This was not what she had expected to hear from him. He recognized her confused look and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Look. I still think the man is a total knob and I don't approve of him. But if you really want to marry him, I won't be standing in your way. Heck. I could even give you away?" he laughed at his last comment. Give me away?! Her eyes got big, where was all this coming from?
She couldn't believe her own ears - how did he go from the anger he was feeling yesterday to how he was acting this morning. What had happened to him? She closed her eyes for a second. She didn't want Alex to give her away, she didn't want to get married at all! She was kinda hoping that Alex would talk her out of this. She was desperate to tell him what was going on, to explain the reasons behind her choice. But she couldn't - Alex would go mad, she had seen what happened yesterday. "Look Claire, all I want is for you to be happy." He snapped her out of her thoughts. "And if it means that you have to be with that, that, heck, I don't even know how to define him! If you have to be with Peter to be happy, I won't be standing in your way. But I can't work with you any longer. I'm sorry." His words left her surprised and really sad. Working with Alex was the best thing that had happened to her in a while, but she was happy that at least she wasn't losing her best friend in all this madness. "I can't say that I'm happy with your decision, Alex, but I'm glad that we worked it out." She answered looking him in the eyes. She was sure that she could see the same sadness she was feeling, reflected in his eyes. "I'll see you around." She told him and made her way to her horse and rode back to Drover's.
Peter came to greet Claire, as she walked out of the stables back at Drover's. Even his presence made her feel sick, but she had to put on a happy face. "Where have you been?" he asked her and smiled, as he came closer to her. She walked towards him, didn't even felt like involving him in her whereabouts. "I've just been out on a ride. Couldn't sleep, and the sunrise is always beautiful." she said and moved her foot around in the ground. Peter grabbed her around her waist and kissed her - it caught her off guard and she couldn't help but freeze until he pulled himself away from her. "I missed you when I woke" he said and took her hand in his. Claire couldn't say anything, she was still in a state of shock from the kiss - when they first got together, his kisses used to make her legs wobbly as jelly. But now she only felt disgusted by them. She smiled at him as they walked back to the house, hand in hand.
"We should set a date" he said as they entered the room. Already?
She wasn't ready to marry him this soon. "I have some business in Queensland, it's going to take some days - so I really want to set a date for the wedding, for when I get home" he said and pulled out a chair. Tess walked in the kitchen, she could feel the tension Claire's body showed. "What is going on?" Tess asked and kept looking at her sister. "We are just setting a date for the wedding" Peter answered and poured a cup of coffee to himself. Claire was still speechless. This was really happening.
"I'll have to leave for about two weeks, so we could get married july 8th? It's a week after I get back, should be plenty of time to get things done" he said and looked at Claire. "We don't want a fancy wedding anyway. You and me are the ones that matter on the day anyway". Claire looked at him. No she didn't want a fancy wedding with him, she didn't want to marry him at all. "Claire?" he said and got her out of her thoughts. "Erh, no. It's perfect" she said and finally sat down. She tried to look happy, but her facial expressions failed her - Luckily Peter was too blind to see it. The others walked in and were eager to get their breakfast before heading out. Their voices faded out in Claire's mind, she couldn't think and she couldn't speak. All she wanted to do was burst out in tears and tell Peter he could forget about everything. A warm gentle hand found it's way to her's. She looked up and saw Tess - she sent her a messages with her eyes, begging her to end her suffering.
Tess clearly saw her sister was in pain, but what could she do - Claire had decided to marry Peter, the wedding was bound to happen sooner or later. "We are getting married july 8th" Peter said and Claire snapped out of her own miserable thoughts. "What, that's just around the corner" Jodi said and almost dropped her knife. "We need to throw a bachelorette party then" she continued - she looked too eager in Claire's opinion. "That's really not necessary" she said and begged Tess to help her talk Jodi out of it.
"We have a lot of work Jodes, we don't have time to do something big" Tess said and smiled to her sister. "Nonsense" Peter said "You need to celebrate. It would do you good." Claire looked at him - he didn't know the first thing about what would do her good, if he did he wouldn't be here. "It's decided then" Jodi said took a bite of her toast. Claire sighed for herself, everything just became much more real - she couldn't believe it.
