Chapter 2 can I let go
My body had a mind of its own; I ran straight to Alice, jasper followed me. He had felt my mood change and knew that the only plausible cause was Alice, if she was having a vision then she would rarely talk to anyone but Jasper.
"Alice I can't leave now. She only just said yes and we all know that if we leave now it will be 10 times worse than the last time. I can't do that to her."
The image of the zombie like Bella, but worse still the image of her as an immortal that flashed through Aro's head. It was not the image that had me repulsed but the longing for her to be like that. So I wouldn't have to be carful, so I could touch her and not break her skull, to kiss her and not be afraid that if I lost control I'd kill her.
"What is it? Alice what is it?"
"Tyler Crowley has clearly finally passed his breaking point. He told the police that we have drugs. The police are organising the raid as we speak."
"Well what are we going to do?" asked jasper. I couldn't help but think that we could have skipped over that question, it was so obvious.
"Well we can't stay here but I don't know if I can leave Bella!"
Let's go talk to Carlisle.
Carlisle was deep in thought. We had told him everything from Bella agreeing to marry me to Alice's vision of the police trying to take the blood tests.
What to do? I can't think of a way to get out of this while we still live here…
I couldn't listen to Carlisle speculating what to do I knew I'd lose it. It was hard enough to leave now and not break something.
"I'm going to go see Bella. I don't think I'm going to tell her. She'll only get worked up."
Oo can I come?
"No."
How about me, can I come?
"NO! For the last time no one else is coming!"
I came home as soon as she was asleep. I couldn't stay the night I just couldn't watch her sleeping. That was my time for enjoying myself not brooding.
Alice was waiting for me when I got home.
How's Bella? I hope you didn't act to mopey. She'll think you having second thoughts about marrying her.
"I don't know. I wasn't as bad as just before we left but I don't think I acted normal."
I needed somewhere to think to be alone to come up with my own options just in case I couldn't live with Carlisle's. Although I knew I would probably have to choose one of his options as they would be the logical ones and mine would be driven by despair.
Now where are you going!?
"I'm going hunting"
"But you only just got back!"
"Yes but if you asked Emmett you would know that I didn't eat anything"
Fine but when you get back Carlisle will call a family meeting to discuss your options.
Then I was off, without a backward glance.
This was the most confusing hunt I had ever been on. I had too many dilemmas to deal with. I could either do what was right for my family or what was right for me.
What could I do, I loved her but I can't stay here. Maybe Em was right maybe I am going mad. I couldn't do this any more.
I'll go home and listen to Carlisle's options and see if I could live with any of them.
When I got home jasper looked mad.
Where the hell have you been? Carlisle has been waiting to talk to us for 5 hours.
"Sorry I got… sidetracked. Has he come up with my options then?"
Yeah about 5 HOURS ago actually.
"Let's go hear them then."
When we got in the rest of the family was sat around the disused dining table.
Edward finally. We're still here risking our safety for you and you can't be bothered to show up.
"Rosie, I want Bella to stay around as well."
"Yeah, me to." Alice always the positive one.
"I'm for anything that makes Alice happy." And jasper really meant it. Wow!
"Em! Rose! Alice! Jazz! Knock it off! And shut up!"
Sorry!
"Anyway Edward the way I see it we… sorry you have only two options but one has two outcomes.
"Your first option is that we leave right now. We don't need to take anything; we can buy or steal what we need."
Jasper felt my mood change and was instantly on his feet in front of Carlisle. I was also suddenly feeling very calm although I knew I wasn't. How could he even suggest leaving her again?
"And that is why I'm expecting you to take to option two with a bit more liking
"Your second option is that Bella comes with us. Although you would have to ask her, we can't expect her to up and leave her father. If she says yes then we can all go away somewhere. We can pretend to die here; we can set the house on fire."
"But if she says no then we still leave!"
"Rosalie! If she says no then we leave BUT Edward can still come and see Bella. Just as long as we stay out of public eye. If she doesn't want to come then we don't have to die, that's just to stop Charlie coming to find us."
"If she did come where would we go? I mean we can't stay in America and mainland Europe is out, so where?"
"Well I was thinking England. It would be nice to go home again and it has almost as many cloudy or rainy days as Forks."
"So just to summarise: we are going to England weather Bella is with us or not?"
"Pretty much yes."
Easy enough but am I selfless enough to do the right thing.
