Chapter Two - Surrender

"I must confess, Remy, this is such an unusual request."

"To take my daughter with me when I go for surgery to fix the gaping hole in my chest?" Remy asked. It was later that morning and he was sitting in the Professor's office.

"It's not that it's an unusual request in itself – but the timing is so...sudden, perhaps, that it has left me a little unprepared," The Professor confessed. "It's not that I don't trust you with Jessie, Remy, and I know she is your daughter..."

"I don't see what the problem is," Remy replied.

"The problem lies in that it's so soon after finding out I don't think you have really adjusted to this yet..." The professor sipped his cup of coffee while he thought about this.

Remy had his own cup but he'd lost the taste for coffee today and hadn't taken a single cup. "That's the point professor. I haven't adjusted completely, it's true. But I just found out...and I can't be away from her just yet."

"She'll still be here when you get back," The Professor pointed out.

"I know that. But I've missed seven years. I may have not had much time to get used to the idea of being a father but in the time I've known all I can think about is the time lost. I lost it with Gabrielle...you can't ask me to lose it with Jessie too..."

"It's not that I don't trust you to take care of the girl," The professor sighed.

"But?"

"Well...you have been doing some odd things lately that have left some room for concern..." the older man pointed out, "drinking – and ontop of painkillers. Then there's the anger issues...signs of powerful manifestations in your abilities...I have to take all these things into consideration..."

Remy put the cup on the desk and folded his arms, he leaned back in his chair.

"There's only so much responsibility with Jessie we can let you have knowing about the things you've been doing with your life as of late."

"Professor..."

"Please, let me finish," the Professor interjected, "You're suffering with a bipolar disorder that you're not treating properly with medication or seeking therapy for. You've been trying to stifle your problems with drink and I'm quite aware that you did get drunk only hours after finding out about Jessie being your daughter. I don't feel confident about putting Jessie in your care abroad until you begin addressing the issues you're meant to be dealing with."

"I am dealing with them," Remy responded.

The Professor raised an eyebrow, "how can you expect me to believe this when you had a drink this morning instead of eating breakfast?"

"Y'know...I wish you'd just cut me a break here," Remy frowned, "I've spent years on the run after accidentally killing a kid with an anger problem and having to live with it over my head ever since. Not to mention the huge stretches of time being a madman's prisoner and guinea pig – some of the stuff he done to me other than this gaping hole in my chest is stuff I may never recover from and you would never understand unless you went through it yourself. I've lived on the streets, under bridges, in sewers, and in dingy rat and cockroach infested apartments never being able to find the energy to try to rebuild my life," Remy stood up, edgy and distressed.

Xavier was silent, listening – Remy was surprised the Professor hadn't interjected again yet – he wasn't even sure he really wanted to tell the Professor about all these things but there seemed to be no other way to get the point across about how bad life had been.

"I have had my heart systematically ripped out by Rogue on a regular basis since the day I came to this place and still found time to work on as a handyman here through severe back problems including but not limited to a shattered tailbone," he flung his hands up as he tried to get the point across. "I've just endured my seventh Christmas wondering what my daughter would be like and why she was taken from me in such a cruel way before she even had the chance to open her eyes and to top it all off I've just discovered that I have another daughter who not only do I not know who her mother is or how she was conceived, but that she's as messed up as I am and it's probably my fault!" Remy felt the anger rise in him like a hot fever; he swept the cup of hot coffee off the desk with one movement of his hand so that it splattered on the wall, "so forgive me if I have a drink in the morning to help me cope with what life decides to toss at me on a daily business!!"

The Professor watched him, he remained calm and quiet until Remy had finally stopped yelling. He then put his hands on the desk and twined his fingers together, "Are you finished?"

Remy sat down again and put his heads in his hands, "god, just this morning I was talking to Rogue about how I was going to start things anew with the new year..."

"It's good that you're trying to move forward, Remy," The Professor confessed, "But you cannot do it alone, and you certainly cannot do it overnight..."

Raising his head, Remy looked at the older – and much wiser man. Logically he knew everything the Professor was saying was right, but at the same time, he wanted to deny any of it made sense.

"I can help you with some of your problems, but there's other things you must do – you need to consult a doctor about your condition and retrieve proper treatment – and I think it's important that you go for the treatment to Muir Island alone so you have time apart from Rogue and Jessie. It'll help you think clearer without them."

"No...I can't be apart from my daughter," Remy shook his head, "If I have to forget the surgery and live with a gaping hole in my chest and this pain for a year or so, then so be it. I'm not going anywhere without her."

"You would endure all that pain simply to be with your daughter?"

"You think I'm saying all this to be purely dramatic, don't you?" Remy demanded; he got up again, prepared to yell. Calm down. Not going to solve anything losing your head with the Prof, he warned himself.

"Of course not," The Professor sighed too.

Remy paced a little across the room, back and forth, back and forth, the silence was strangely comfortable despite the discussion that had preceded it. He stopped at the desk, and placed both hands down and leaned slightly down. "Okay, how do I fix this?" he asked.

"With baby steps," Professor Xavier opened the desk drawer at his left and sifted through until he found a dark green book, he opened it and begun to flick through it, "I have a friend who specialises in Psychiatric care; if you like I can arrange an appointment for you."

"Okay," Remy agreed with a sigh of surrender. "What else?"

In response the Professor paused to consider, "you need to take responsibility for several things, Remy. Mainly the alcoholism..."

"I thought you could just...block the parts of my brain that want the booze?" Remy asked, "I mean...I know you got powers that'd let you do it..."

"It would be better for you to do this with therapies, and talking things out and taking things one step at a time rather than looking for the quick fix, Remy."

"But it's possible, right?"

"It's possible to do it," the Professor replied, "but...it's not a permanent solution: I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it for you unless the problem was incredibly severe, seeing as how there are so many possible side-effects it could cause."

Remy nodded, understanding. "What else do I need to do?"

"Your health, you really need to work on, Remy. You've become thin, tired, you're not eating right anymore and you're barely sleeping."

"I think it's partly due to my wound," Remy admitted, "I can't exercise, I'm not burning off energy and then I'm not sleeping right 'cause I'm not wearing myself down."

"This, plus your drinking, is also possibly why your appetite has rapidly decreased," the Professor reasoned, "but Hank will probably discuss this with you and how you can treat it. But these things that are making your health decline are reasons why I think you should have the procedures Moira is offering; get your strength and stamina back, exercise without pain."

"Would be nice..." Remy sighed, "But...I can't leave Jessie..."

"I see," the Professor sighed, "I ask that you at least consider it. You would only be gone for a week, and Jessie is in capable hands here."

"I'll consider it," Remy replied, "but I already know my mind is made."