For Lu, who asked for Dean and got epic depressing!Dean. Which is a horrible way to end the day.
So I wrote her quack!fic—I mean, crack!fic—to make up for it. :D
He had a mean look in his eye.
Both of them, probably, but Dean could only see one of them at a time.
A fact that seemed to unnerve Shawn as well, because he kept turning his head back and forth to look at Dean with both eyes.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Shawn."
"Liar!" Shawn yelled.
Or, well, that was as likely an interpretation as anything.
Because everything Shawn had said in the last hour sounded a lot more like, "QUACK!"
"Really, dude, we can fix this. I just need you to come with me and-" He lunged and there was a flurry of flapping wings and indignant quacking and feathers in the air.
Dean spat and blew raspberries trying to get them off his tongue as he stood up.
"Dean! I found the-" Sam stopped and looked around. "Where is he?"
Dean was still trying to get the taste of mallard off his tongue so he just pointed upward. Sam's eyes followed until he found Shawn perched precariously on a branch, his wings flared to help with his balance, glaring down at them both.
"QUACK!" he said.
Sam couldn't help but think it sounded a lot like, "You'll never take me alive, coppers!"
With a sigh, Sam held the book out to Dean. "Page thirty-four. Start gathering the ingredients. I'll go get bread and Cheez Whiz."
Dean took the book and glared up at Shawn. "Next time maybe you'll listen to me when I tell you NOT TO TOUCH THE CURSED OBJECT."
"QUACK!" Shawn yelled back. You could probably substitute any number of profanities or vulgarities for that one.
"Dean, just go. I've got this."
Dean left, grumbling under his breath about birdbrains and plans to kick some tail feathers later.
"Shawn, just . . . don't migrate or anything, okay?" Sam said.
Shawn fluffed his feathers and gave a quack that quite clearly said, "I'm a duck, not an idiot."
"That's debatable," Sam muttered and went to see if they had any more canned cheese in the fridge.
I'll totally understand if you want to pretend you've never heard of me.
But on the off chance you enjoyed this, drop me a review and share, won't you? :D
