oooooooooo Here's the second chapter. Hope you enjoyed the first one. Let me know what you think of this one. I love reviews!
Angel left Buffy's bedside to look for another blanket for her.
He collided with someone as he walked through the door.
"Willow... Hi," he said quietly.
"Hey," she replied. "She made you better again, huh?" she asked, not unkindly.
"Yeah... Listen, I know you must hate me right now. Umm-" Angel didn't really know what
to say to Willow.
"Come here, you idiot," Willow said, signalling Angel to come in for a hug.
Angel complied, relieved, and slightly confused.
"I don't hate you... I admit, when she let you drink her on Graduation Day, I was mad for
awhile. I mean, I was pissed at you for doing something that could have killed her. But I
thought some more, and I realized no matter how much I worry or care, it's not something I
could judge... If it was some strange evil thing, then you bet I would make it my business.
But it was you then, and it's you now. You're not evil or strange. She loved you then and
she still
loves you. And I know that you love her. She won't let you die if there's anyway she can
help you. You needed her blood to live and she gave it to you willingly. It's not something
that you took from her. She did it for you... If I'm being honest, if I was ever in a position
like that, I'm pretty sure I would have done the same for Oz or Tara. If there is anything I
could have done to keep Dawn and Xa- Xander alive... You fought your nature by stopping
yourself from draining her. That's love, Angel. I know that. I'm not going to judge."
"Thanks," Angel mumbled. "You may be able to forgive me and not make judgement, but I
can't stand myself, Willow... I said that it would never happen again, and yet I did it again
tonight. I could have killed her."
"But you didn't. You wouldn't. I think you know that. She literally trusts you with her life.
You love her too much to hurt her that way. I really do get that now, that's why I actually
agreed on not being here when it happened."
"Willow, I should have just died. I was ready to die. She was with me, and I got the last
look at her face that I wanted, needed, to be able to die without a fight, peacefully. But
then-"
Willow smiled sadly. "She had to open her big mouth and make you want to stay."
Angel nodded his head.
"That doesn't make you bad, Angel. That just means you didn't want to be without her...
Anyway, what were you looking for?"
"Oh, I wanted to find another blanket for Buffy. She looks cold," he said.
"Go sit with her," Willow told him. "I'll get a blanket."
"Okay," he answered, going back to sit by Buffy.
Willow arrived in the room a moment later, covering Buffy up with the extra blanket.
Angel got up, ready to let Willow take his seat.
"No need to be all gentleman like," Willow smiled, signalling Angel to sit back down,
conjuring herself up a chair out of thin air.
Angel and Willow were quiet for a few moments.
"I'm sorry about Dawn and Xander," Angel said quietly. "Buffy told me."
"Thanks," Willow said, attempting a smile. "It's crazy not having them here, especially
Xander. He's been my best friend, my Xander, since before kindergarten. He was my rock,
and now he's gone," Willow said, tears now streaming down her face. She quickly wiped
them away. "I'm not gonna have any more of my friends die, so I'm glad Buffy did what she
did for you. No more damn dying in our circle... Tell me, big guy," Willow said, changing
the subject, "What are you going to do now?"
"What do you mean?"
"With Buffy."
"Oh, yeah... If you're asking do I want to be with Buffy, the answer would most definitely be
a yes, she knows it too. I made myself pretty clear last year in Sunnydale on that. If you're
asking me if I'm going to stay here in Rome forever, the answer would be no."
"But-"
"Before you start lecturing me, let me just make some things clear, okay?"
"Okay," Willow said.
"I'm going to stay here for a few days, if you don't mind."
"Of course you can stay," Willow told Angel.
"I'm gonna stay and make sure she's okay. Just spend some time with her, and then I'm
going to go... Before you start the rant, I'm going to tell you I'm not leaving because I think
she'll be better off without me. I already learned that lesson. I'm not going to try to make
decisions for her."
"Okay then, Angel. Why are you gonna leave?"
"I'm gonna leave because I know she's not ready to be with me."
"She loves you, Angel. She was so scared that you were gonna die, she couldn't stand it."
"I know she still loves me, and I'm damn lucky for that. But you just said it, she was scared
that I was gonna die...I'm not going to stay and make her feel like she has to be with me
because all the old feelings came rushing back when she thought she was gonna lose me
forever, lose the possibility that one day me and her could actually work again. She needs
to know absolutely on her own, perfectly clearly, if she actually wants to be with me again,
or if she just wants to treasure what we had and move on as friends."
Willow looked at Angel in awe. "Could you live with that? Seeing her on a regular basis, just
being friends with her, when you'll always want more than that?"
"I don't matter Willow. I don't care about me. Yeah, I'll always want her, but all I care about
is what she wants, what's going to make her happy... I stopped thinking about most things
that I want awhile ago. Cordy died, Fred died, Wes, Gunn and Spike died today... My son is
gone too."
Willow's jaw dropped a little bit. "I'm so sorry, Angel... I-"
Angel tried to shake it off. "Thanks... I'm just saying almost everyone I cared about in one
way or another is gone now. I don't have much left, Willow. And what I do have, I'm going
to hold on to for dear life. I'm not going to be selfish. You matter to me and Buffy matters
to me. I'm going to give Buffy what she needs, whatever that is, because I can't be here,
alive, and lose her. I'll take whatever I can get."
"Angel, Angel," Willow sighed. "Why couldn't we all just have a peaceful, normal life? None
of this Apocalypse, and losing almost everyone you've ever cared about crap?"
"Damned if I know," he replied.
"I've got to head out. I'm supposed to meet up with Oz in Tibet. Said he could use my help
over there. Tell Buffy that for me, even though it's not really necessary. Me and Buffy can
talk without actually talking."
"Like telepathy?"
"Yeah kind of."
"Does it work with everyone?" Angel asked.
"No... Do me a favour, say my name in your head and think of something."
"Okay," Angel said awkwardly.
Willow grinned. "It works with you, though."
"You knew what I was thinking?"
"Yeah. It's hard to explain I guess, but basically if you want me to hear something, I can...
Like today, when Buffy found you, she sent me a message, she wanted my help... If you
ever need anything, I'm only a thought away."
"Convenient," Angel laughed.
"I'll be seeing you, Angel. I mean it, you come by and see us sometimes, okay?"
"I promise," Angel said.
Willow planted a kiss on Buffy's forehead, then gave Angel a quick hug.
"Bye."
