Hey guys and girls! :) I don't want to rant and waste your time, so I won't say anything, I'm already pretty late with updatig anyway, so... enjoy! :)
I don't own Victorious.
WARNING! This chapter contains coarse language, and the cursing is NOT censored!
"Do you have everything?" Jade asked me, this time rather miserably, not impatiently. Even though it was quite hard to leave for me as well, I couldn't help but smiled at her.
"Yes." I replied, sitting down on my suitcase and patting the other one next to me to let her sit down, too. She shook her head and crossed her arms on her chest.
"Are you sure?" she finally pressed out, after staring at the floor for a few moments. I smiled again.
"Yes, I am." I said, making it clear for her that I didn't leave anything at home – for the fifth time since we left our flat.
"I don't think so." she spoke up again, looking at me with a mysterious grin on her face. I quickly sank my hands into my pockets, but my phone, my wallet, my ID card and everything important was there.
"Why, what did I leave at home?" I asked suddenly. She leaned forward, her hair falling into her face making it almost impossible to look into her eyes, when she whispered two words so quiet that I thought I just imagined her saying that.
"Your lover."
"My..." I looked at her confused. She sighed and rolled her eyes, then leaned even closer and pressed her lips against mine.
"Your plane is taking off in a few... I guess it's time for you to leave." she warned me after pulling back from a long, yet gentle kiss.
"Woah, you're pretty unpredictable. At the first moment you would tie me down to make me stay, then you tell me to go..." I smiled slightly, what made her smile, too.
"Love me the way I am." she replied, shrugging carelessly.
"I love you the way you are, don't worry." I said, then grabbed my stuff and stood up to walk to the checkpoint.
"Stay safe." Jade whispered when I looked at her to say my goodbye.
"You too." I replied, then quickly kissed her cheek and after she hugged me tightly, I left the hall. I saw her waving to me, and I waved back, then the guards at the airport started to check my bags and my pockets so I had to concentrate on them.
It was pretty cold outside when I left the airport, and I soon regretted it that I brought only a thin cardigan with me. I pulled the two sides of it together on my chest as I stepped outside, and tried to focus on getting home as soon as possible and leaving tons of messages on Beck's phone.
Of course as soon as I reached the first pedestrian crossing, it started to rain heavily, and I quickly became completely soaked. I cursed quietly, then waited for the signalling lamp to finally change to green so I could walk to the opposite of the road, when a weird-looking, young woman appeared next to me. She wore sunglasses, not caring about the fact that it was almost 8 PM and it rained hard so it wasn't even light outside. She was dressed in pitch black just as me, but she was smart enough to put a hoodie on her head... Why couldn't I think about it, too?
Finally the lamp changed to green so we could start walking again. I decided to take a bypass – to my fright, the only bypass was an alley next to the huge building where we lived, but I had to go that way if I didn't want to get even more soaked.
I couldn't even reach the edge of the pavement on the other side of the street, when I heard a horribly loud noise as a car ran into a streetlamp. There were so many people screaming and I saw an old woman fainting, but at the very next moment, when I turned around, another car crashed into the other one, making a huge traffic jam and panic. Only about a second could pass until I heard a blast and my visions became blurry, then the world blacked out and I fell to the ground, not knowing what was happening anymore.
It was raining in London when I arrived there around 8 AM – I wasn't really surprised, people usually say it always rains in England. The sky was grey and it wasn't very warm outside, so I had to take my jacket on again as I got off the plane and walked to the airport. I soon got my suitcases back, and after getting through the checkpoint, I could walk out to the busy streets of the city. I sank my hands into my pockets, quickly finding my phone, so I could call my cousin, Amanda.
"Hey!" I greeted her, trying to figure out what was she doing at the moment, 'cause I could hear the noise of a car's horn being pushed hard.
"I have a horn, too, dumb bitch!" Amanda screamed right at the next moment, and pushed the horn, too. I had to keep my phone away from my ear if I didn't want to get serious hearing loss, but she quickly calmed down and greeted me.
"Where are you?" I asked, keeping an eye on my suitcases before anyone could steal them.
"A few streets away from the airport. I'll be there in 5 minutes, I promise, I just..." she started, then pushed the horn again, and called someone a „brainless moron" after telling them to shut up, then she finally concentrated on me again. "I'm sorry, but London's streets are all fucked up today. I'm in a huge traffic jam and this blonde bitch keeps telling me to move on and go ahead but there is a two miles long line in front of me!"
"Okay, okay, I understand!" I quickly backed off before she could try to rip my head off through the phone. "See, tell me your house number and I'll go there, it would be faster this way."
"No, it's all okay, I'll be at the airport in a few." she said. I sighed – she always had been really stubborn, and it seemed like it didn't change in the past few months.
"Alright. I will wait here on the street... But if you aren't here in ten minutes, I will seriously take a plane back to America!" I threatened her. I could hear how she growled at that, before pushing the horn for a longer time and then finally speaking up.
"Why don't you go back to the airport's hall? I see it's raining." she asked.
"I know you good enough to guess you won't come inside to find me if you don't see me outside." I informed her, making her growl again.
"Okay, that's true. God, this weather freaks me out!" she hissed, then hung up without saying anything.
It had been more than 40 minutes until she finally arrived at the airport – and until that, I had to find a place near there where I could hide from the rain. I finally chose a cheap restaurant, where I ordered a traditional British breakfast meal – since I was in Britain, why not? – and took a seat next to the huge window, so I could look at the street. While eating my food, I tried to call Jade, but she didn't answer; well, probably because it was around 2 AM in her time zone. Then I left her a text telling her that I arrived in London and except the rain, everything is absolutely fine. I also checked my incoming messages, but she didn't send me any, which I found pretty weird, because she always sent me lots of them when I left Los Angeles. I couldn't think about it for so long, though, because Amanda arrived, so I paid my food and quickly left.
"How long did you have to wait for me?" she asked after I hopped in her car, too.
"Just an hour." I replied shortly, watching the rain flow down on the window.
"Are you tired?" she asked again.
"Not as much as I expected I will be." I said, sinking deeply into my thoughts. The next thing I saw was us arriving at her house, and her husband, Eric and her children, Kirsty and Robert waving at us. She parked the car in the garage, then we got out and they all greeted us.
"Uncle Beck, did you bring me anything?" Kirsty asked, holding onto my pants as I got my suitcases out from the luggage rack.
"Ah, come on, Kirsty, don't be so selfish! He just arrived here, don't expect him to be so energetic." Eric said, making the little girl at least let go of my clothes. Robert didn't really do anything, he just giggled whenever I looked at him, even though Amanda said he can already talk.
"I don't like fish." Kirsty said, then looked at me with sparkly eyes. "But you brought me something, right?"
"Yes, I did." I said, smiling at her, and putting a hand on her shoulder to push her out from the garage, so that we could go inside the house. "I will give it to you as soon as I can put my stuff down, okay?"
"Okie!" she giggled and ran forward, then grabbed Amanda's skirt and walked next to her, while I went behind them with Eric, who helped me to carry my suitcases.
After I gave them what I brought for them (a stuffed giraffe for Robert and a stuffed pony for Kirsty, and a nice bottle of wine and a bar of chocolate for Amanda and Eric), we all sat down in the living room, talking about our lives, jobs, families and just everything that we could think of.
"I'm sorry, I have to call someone now, but I'll be back in a few." I said after quite a long time. It was almost 5 PM, which meant it was late morning in Los Angeles, and Jade was usually awake at that time, so I called her, hoping that she will answer. She didn't.
"She seems to be getting a little better, don't you think?" André asked me as we sat on the couch, Cat drawing something at the other corner of the living room and us watching TV while drinking some coffee.
"Yeah, I agree. But don't bring this up in front of her, she might start to think about it, too, if she hears us!" I hissed, but when I captured Cat's suspicious gaze, I shut up. We sat in silence for a bit, then André stood up and put his cup down on the table, then grabbed his jacket and walked to the door.
"I'm gonna go for a walk." he told us, then immediately left. I stared at my empty cup of coffee, deep in my thoughts, when I started to feel Cat staring at me. I looked up at her – she put her pencil and paper down and looked at me, but it kinda seemed like she stared into nothing. At that moment, I could give everything just to talk to her and make her feel better, but I knew I couldn't do anything to cheer her up; somehow, she might figured out what was I thinking about, because she stood up, slowly walked to the couch and sat down facing me, though.
"Wanna talk about... some stuff?" she asked, and I felt like it was the right moment to bring her brother's case up, even though she probably didn't want to talk about that.
"Well... are you feeling good today?" I asked back, hoping that she would realize what I tried to ask.
"Kinda." she shrugged, and shifted a little closer to me. I sighed.
"I see you still aren't fine." I said quietly.
"Let's not bring this up, please." she whispered, and I could see tears welling up in her eyes. I put my hand on her arm and slowly slid it down caressing her, but I didn't reach my goal: she didn't even look up at me, just stared at her free hand.
"But wouldn't a little talk help? At least a little bit? You know, talking about your feelings usually helps..." I explained, trying to get her speaking – even though I knew what she felt, but she never spoke it out loud.
"That's usually, not always." she whispered again and wiped her eyes with her other hand.
"But that doesn't mean you wouldn't feel better if you didn't have to fight all your emotions alone." I encouraged her. Neither of us spoke up for a few minutes, then she suddenly started sobbing, and hugged me tightly, burying her face into my chest. I got pretty surprised, but put an arm around her shoulders, and slightly patted her back.
"Sshh, it will be okay." I murmured.
"But I miss him so much!" she cried, though it came out as a racked sob. I stroked her back and repeated that it will be okay, and that with time she will miss him less and less, she just has to be strong in the first days.
We spent almost an hour with this, but I didn't mind at all – if it made Cat feel better, then it was okay. She was about to fall asleep on me, which I wouldn't really mind, but we weren't in a comfortable position, so I gently pushed her away and held a hand out to her. She blinked at me confused, so I smiled slightly and explained.
"I see you're sleepy. Come on, you should go to bed."
"But it's not even bed time yet!" she said – between two yawns.
"I know, but you need some rest. And until you don't have to wake up at 5 in the morning, you can sleep whenever you want to." I answered, then helped her up and walked to her bedroom with her. I was right: she didn't even bother to get into her pajamas, just pushed the blanket aside and lay in the bed. I covered her with the blanket, and after wishing her a good night, I left her room and started to wash up.
Cat woke up almost 9 hours later, at 1 AM – the reason I know is that she woke me up, too. I don't know what she was doing, but I heard a horribly loud noise from the kitchen, and I unintentionally jumped up to see what was it. When I arrived there, she sat on one of the chairs at the table, resting hear head on it, quietly sniffing.
"Cat...?" I asked on a slightly cracking voice while I tried to find the light switch. She slowly looked up at me, her eyes watery and red and her face pale like her kitchen's white walls.
"I'm sorry for the noises... did I wake you up?" she asked as she stood up.
"What was that noise?" I asked again.
"I dropped a frying pan... nothing serious." she shrugged and walked out of them room. I switched the lights off and followed her.
"What did you want to do with a frying pan?" I frowned.
"I wanted to make breakfast... but it doesn't matter. I'm not even that hungry." she mumbled. She seemed a little lost – breakfast at 1 AM?
"Go back to your bed." I told her as I walked back to my room's door.
"I'm not sleepy." she denied, and to my biggest surprise, she started to follow me.
"Then... Then what do you want to do?" I asked. She walked past me, then sat down on the edge of my bed, staring at the curtains.
"Why do you close the curtains? It's so good to fall asleep while looking at Los Angeles' busy streets' lights." she wondered.
"I don't know. I just like sleeping in darkness." I answered and sat down next to her.
"I wonder how are our old high school friends' lives going?" she spoke up pretty loudly. I shook my head and took her hands, looking into her eyes.
"Cat. I know you're hiding something from me. What is it?"
"Me? Hiding? I'm not hiding anything." she said, the same confusion and nervousness sparkling in her eyes as she talked.
"I see you are. You looked so lost yesterday, and now you are talking nonsense... What's wrong?" I asked, gently stroking the back of her hands with my thumbs.
"Nothing." she hissed.
"Tell me, Cat. Please!" I then begged, but it seemed like the ice didn't want to break. Then, after a few moments, which felt like eternity, she sighed and looked at me.
"It's just..." she started, then stopped, looked away, gulped and looked back at me. "I talked to my mom this morning about the funeral and... and she said... she said my brother was only a... a pain for her! She said he was like a stalker, he was everywhere and always followed her and acted weird... But he... he had some kind of a mental disorder, and as her mom, she should have been more supportive and loving, aren't I right?"
I had to blink a few times until I could fully realize what she just said. He was a pain for her? But she was his mom!
"I'm so sorry." I whispered, hugging her again, as hot tears streamed down her face.
"I can't believe she said this, I... I just don't want to see her anymore! Can you understand me, Robbie?" she asked slightly looking up, but not into my eyes.
"I can understand you, Cat. And I'm so, so sorry for this all... but you don't have to see her... Just go to the funeral, say good... say goodbye to your brother, and then you can forget everything what she said, okay? And never forget, André and I will always be by your side!" I said encouraging, but I only made her let out another repressed sob. I sighed and stroked her hair, which made her stop crying and tighten her hug on me.
"Thank you. For everything. I don't know what would I do without you." she whispered. We stayed hugging for a few more seconds, then we pulled apart and I stood up.
"Now come, go to sleep. You still need it." I said, looking at the black circles under her eyes.
"I don't want to go to my room." she mumbled. I frowned.
"Then... do you want to sleep here... with me, or alone?.." I stuttered.
"No! It's not that..."
"Then what?" I asked and sat down again. I knew it was going to be a long night.
"I can't sleep. I mean, I'm having troubles with sleeping since the accident... something like insomnia or what is it called." she informed me. I nodded and tried to give her some adivce, hoping those would help.
"Did you try to count sheeps?"
"I did. It didn't help." she said, shaking her head – but I noticed the slight smile at the corners of her mouth at the silly idea.
"Hmm... Did you try to think about nothing?" I asked.
"What?" she asked back frowning.
"I mean, did you try to block all your thoughts and not think about anything?"
"No... I think I will try it. Thanks." she said and raised, then left the room before I could offer that I would lead her back to her room. I looked after her, but after a few moments, I turned around and lay into my bed, too, wanting to fall asleep.
It didn't work for a long time, because about half an hour later, I heard someone knocking at my door. I slowly sat up, rubbing my eyes as I quietly said „come in", then I saw Cat's tired and worn out face peeping into my room through the slightly opened door.
"It didn't work." she whispered as she came in and sat down next to me.
"I see..." I said, then got out from under my blanket and shifted closer to her. "Are you sure that nothing works? Sleeping pills?"
"I already tried them... They just made me feel dizzy and maybe made me have a really short sleep... But I woke up after half an hour anyway." she explained, shrugging slightly.
"You know it's not healthy anymore, right?" I mumbled. She nodded.
"I know. But I can't do anything with it."
"I'm sure you can. Maybe seeing a psychologist would help?" I suggested, but she immediately shook her head.
"No, never! I'm sure I can cope with it alone, I just need some time..." she backed off, rubbing her eyes. I sighed, and wanted to speak up, when she lay on my bed, pulling her knees up to her chest and pulling the blanket over herself, then patting the sheet next to her as she looked at me. I gingerly lay down facing her, and I was so surprised to notice that she dragged the cover over me, too.
"Do you feel comfortable here?" I asked, still surprised.
"Mh-mm. It's quite comfy here." she nodded, and I saw a slight smile appearing on her face. We stayed silent for a really, really long time, until I couldn't help but let my eyes fall closed, and I didn't know if she stayed awake or not, but when I woke up the next morning, she wasn't there with me.
I know this chapter is short... and sad... and pointless... and boring... like a filling chapter. And I know I was so slow with updating, and it really didn't worth it for such a crappy work like this, but I hope you still liked it. I promise I will speed things up during the next one or two chapters, but at least if I'm doing something, I want every piece of that to be done correctly and I don't want unfinished lines or rushed scenes... I hope you can understand. Either if you liked or disliked this chapter, please review, and if you disliked, please tell me why, I would try to make the story better if I knew what should I change :) No telling me to write about another ship, please, 'cause you know the ships are already planned in this!
