(A/N Sorry this chapter is a little short...

and much thanks to yellow 14 who reviewed.)

Chapter Two: Dirty Little Secret or

James finds his bubble

Lily's point of view

Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you.

All American Rejects.

I want to cry and I have no idea why. Scratch that I know exactly why I want to cry. Bloody James Potter is why I want to cry! And I hate it. James Potter is not supposed to make me want to cry. James Potter is supposed to make me want to punch him. Today he was just so—so…different! I thought he had smartened up over the summer and matured. Oh hell was I wrong. And Kristen! She is supposed to be my friend! But I should have known. She was always hanging out with Potter. Insisting that he isn't all that bad. Ok so now I'm being a little bit ridiculous. The last day of fifth year I hated him. And now today, the first day of sixth year I like him? This whole thing does not make any sense what so ever. Ok now I am ready to cry. I can hear footsteps though, I need to hold back. Lo and behold it's Kristen! And joy, we're alone.

"Hey," said Kristen in a friendly manner. Who is she to be all happy?!

"Hey," I said sounding a lot more hostile than I had intended my greeting to be. Kristen gave me a questioning look. I cleared my throat and tried to cover up. "Woah my bad. Something is stuck in my throat." Kristen just laughed. Look at her laughing like that! That little 5'2 boy stealing—ok stop it Lily, get a grip! I need to find out the truth!

"So you and James?" I asked trying my best to smile pleasantly. I prided myself in my ability to control my temper…not. It was probably very clear that I was jealous of her much to my chagrin. I didn't want to be jealous. This is James Potter we are talking about. James Potter who is supposed to be an arrogant bullying toe rag, not to mention an insufferable git.

"Oh no!" Kristen laughed again, "No he was just seeing if we clicked. He was only trying to get over you." The dark haired girl grinned and then asked, "Why? Getting a little jealous?" Dammit, she was spot on. Then again, I was never quite good at hiding my emotions. My cheeks had a habit of betraying me whenever I was feeling embarrassed, angry, upset, or in this case jealous or overly emotional.

"No!" I shrieked way too early and my voice came out all high and funny. God, I hate it when that happens. Now my cheeks were a bright pink and my voice was all high pitched and squeaky.

"He is still down in the common room you know. Sitting by the fire. All alone," Kristen was trying to tempt me to go talk to James I just know it. Dammit, it's working!

"So," I said pretending not to know what Kristen was talking about. I thanked the heavens that my voice had gone back to normal.

"So you could always go talk to him," she tried again to persuade me to go downstairs.

"Me and James don't mesh," I reasoned while Kristen grinned like a mad woman. "What?" I asked. Her smile was starting to make me nervous. I could feel my cheeks coloring even further.

"You called him James," Kristen said still grinning.

'Well, that is his name," I tried explaining myself. Dammit, she caught me again. I was just not on top of things today.

"With you it's always Potter," Kristen said putting emphasis on the always. When people point that out I tend to feel a tad bit guilty. I guess I just call him Potter out of habit. I mean after all those years of him being an arrogant bullying toe rag as well as an insufferable git he was deemed as Potter in my mind, never James…until quite recently.

"Oh, well I um, forgot?" I tried, quite lamely even in my own opinion, to make an excuse for the slip up.

"He's a really good kisser too," Kristen added. AHH WHY IS SHE TELLING ME THIS!? IS SHE TRYING TO KILL ME?! My cheeks were probably the same color as my hair by now.

"Ok I can't take this conversation anymore!" I let out storming downstairs. When I got to the common room I found that Kristen was right. James was just sitting in front of the fire looking completely zoned out. I took a deep breadth and then I began to wonder what on earth had possessed me to do this. I sat down next to James. I then realized that I had no plan. I had no idea what I was going to say. Lily Evans is not an impulsive person! Lily Evans does not do anything like this. Lily Evans thinks things through. Lily Evans really needs to stop referring to herself as Lily Evans; even inside her own head it is quite odd. Lily Evans really needs to get a grip on herself.

"Hey Evans," James said still looking at the fire.

"Hey James," I replied liking the way James rolled off my tongue. It felt so right. I can't believe I have never called James his actual name. At the sound of his first names James spun around to face me. Have I really been saying Potter that long?

"Are you feeling alright Evans?" he asked worriedly. Ok so maybe I have. I just laughed nervously and nodded my head.

"Yes James I'm fine," I told him pleasantly.

"Evans, I'm not so sure about that. Maybe you should go to the hospital wing or something," James suggested. Why did he choose today to be a daft idiot and not sense the hint that I was dropping.

"No James that won't be necessary," I said to him still placing emphasis on his name. He had to get the hint eventually.

"Alright then Lily," James replied finally understanding what I was getting at. I like the way he says my name. James had always called me Evans. I usually flipped out at him if he called me anything but. I can't believe I never let him call me Lily.

"So you're over me?" I found myself asking him. I smacked myself in the head for saying that. It was very random and had nothing to do with the conversation we were having. I guess I just had to know. By now I was curious.

"I'm searching for my bubble," James told me. He then promptly hit himself in the head repeating my former action. My guess is because he said something like 'searching for his bubble'. Which was a very stupid thing to say but it did sound rather cute coming out of his mouth. I thanked the heavens that he didn't point out how inane my question had been.

"Well what does your bubble look like? Maybe I can help you find it," I said smiling and playing along with him.

"My bubble is kind of tiny. She has fiery red hair and the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen in my entire life," James said barely talking over a whisper.

"I think I found your bubble," I informed him leaning in and kissing James lightly. Ok so maybe it wasn't so lightly. In the end I wound up losing my balance and kind of toppling onto him. James didn't seem to mind though because he just kept on kissing me and I wasn't about to complain either.

"Can I ask you something?" James asked as we broke apart smiling at each other.

"Sure," I replied feeling like I already knew what James was about to ask.

"For the 238th time will you go out with me Lily Evans?" James asked unable to contain the grin playing at his slips. I was amazed, had he really asked me 238 times?

"I'd love to," I answered him. I couldn't help but add, "Have you really asked me 238 times."

"Ever since our first meal at Hogwarts I've been keeping track," James admitted sheepishly. "Sorry if you think that's kind of odd."

"No I think it's really cute," I was able to admit. Oh my god I can not believe I just told James something about him was cute. And then another thought occurred to me what were my friends going to say?! They didn't even have the slightest clue that I liked James. Except for maybe Kristen, she completely knew. Then I had another thought. We could have some fun with this.

"Hey here's a crazy idea," I said.

"Yeah?" James asked curiously.

"Lets try to keep us a secret. Act like there's nothing going on. We could sneak around. It could be really fun," I suggested.

"What? Why?!" James wanted to know.

"Well I just don't feel ready to tell the whole world that we are finally going out," I sighed. Honestly, I didn't want a relationship to interfere with my life for some unexplainable reason.

"Lily I don't get it why wouldn't you want people to know about us?" James said still really confused. I honestly felt pretty bad.

"I know but I just…" I couldn't explain myself.

"It could be fun," James started his inner marauding self coming out.

"It could be a lot of fun!" I added with a smile.

"And I can call you my Dirty Little Secret!" James said getting excited. I didn't even protest not wanting to risk a change in mind.

"Sure," I added feebly. Truth be told, I don't fully understand why I wanted the relationship between James and I to stay secret. It's my sixth year at Hogwarts and the last thing I need is to lose focus. I, Lily Marie Evans, am a very focused person. I am determined to do the best that I possibly can.

So my sixth year progressed as any other year would have with the exception of meeting up with James in empty classrooms and ditching my friends in Hogsmeade to be with him. Being with James, even in secret, was pure bliss. However, I began to get this feeling that people were catching on; especially Kristen Shepherd. After all, she was there when I ran down to find him in the common room. Oh well, it doesn't matter.

Unfortunately my apathetic views on the matter seemed to be tested two evenings later. James and I were up in the boy's dorm getting slightly intimate. Normally I wouldn't have agreed to snog him in the boy's dorm but he assured me all the other sixth year boys were in detention.

"Hey Prongs what's going…" Sirius barged into the room and immediately trailed off after seeing me lying on top of James, the two of us connected by the lips. Sirius just stared at the pair of us his mouth forming a slight O of surprise. We immediately leapt apart.

"Hey Padfoot," James greeted his friend warily.

"Bloody Hell!" Sirius exclaimed getting over his shock. "How long have you two been snogging the life out of each other?!" I frowned at his word usage.

"Since the first day back," replied James automatically. I shot James a look. "What he's my best mate and we are so obviously caught now." James said defensively.

"Sirius Black if you breath one word about James and I to anyone you are a dead man," I told the boy as I took control of the situation. Sirius just looked from James to me still slightly shocked.

"I can't believe it," he said shaking his head, "You two are together…like actually together. You two can be in a room without yelling at each other. I just can't believe it. This moment should go down in history. Why on earth would you not want to tell anybody about this?"

"Listen Padfoot. We would really appreciate if no one knew about this ok," James explained our situation to his best mate. "I think the reason our relationship is working out so well is because no one knows that we have one." Oh I taught him so well.

"Alright then," Sirius sighed sitting down on his bed.

"I guess I should be going then," I announced avoiding what could turn into a very awkward moment.

"Sorry for er, interrupting," Sirius smirked now having regained his usual manner. I rolled my eyes at his immaturity.

"Tell no one," I said frowning at him. I know Sirius is James's best mate and that he would never let him down but that doesn't mean I have to trust him. After all, I didn't even tell Julie, my best friend.

"I wont I promise," Sirius assured me as I left the room. For the sake of my sanity I hope he keeps his word.