NOTE: If you want the background to this chapter, read Chapter 14 of my story "The Ordeal."
Chapter Two: Nightmares
He could not help himself.
As his hands pulled her naked body against his her scent filled his nostrils. It was a scent with which he had become all too familiar, after so many encounters in who knew how many seedy hotel rooms in downtown Metropolis. Why was he here? Why was he taking such an incredible risk? It would only take one phone call from a hotel clerk in need of some much needed extra cash and his sordid, shameful secret would be out there for all to know – for all to talk about, to gossip about. He could see the headlines now, screaming from the front page of the Planet: "Oliver Queen Sex Scandal: Billionaire's Secret Affair." The risks were so great, and Chloe – what about Chloe? If she knew the truth it would kill her – how could he do that to her? She loved him more than anyone had ever loved him, and yet here he was, betraying her in the most devastating manner imaginable. It made no sense, nothing made any sense.....
But he could not help himself. He had always been a thrill seeker, of course – how else could you explain the fact that every night he donned the leathers of the Green Arrow and put his life on the line fighting the criminals of Metropolis. But this was more than just the need for a thrill, the need to live life on the edge. This was an addiction – there was no other word for it. She was like a drug to him, and he could not live without his fix, however dirty he felt afterwards. And how he felt dirty – the shame he felt was almost overwhelming. He didn't know how Chloe didn't see it, because to him it was if his infidelity was branded across his face. But she didn't see it, of course – which made it even worse. Every day she would smile that innocent smile at him, still the joyful lover intoxicated on the purity of her love. And he would smile back – a false smile, a smile that hid the truth of his betrayal. He was loved by the most beautiful woman in the world, but still he could not remain faithful, still he was drawn back here, to her. Like a moth to a flame, he was mesmerised by her power, her seductiveness; her hold over him now was as powerful as it had been all those weeks ago, when she had first taken him in Lex's lair...
She was pressing against him now, seeking to draw him in, make him cast off his inhibitions. He didn't want to respond, but his body was not his own. She was in control – she was always in control. The touch of her skin was so soft, so unbelievably sensual, that he could not resist. He felt her hands running through his hair, slipping over his muscular back and down towards his ass. She knew how to please him, touch him in a way that Chloe never could. His eyes closed in anticipation of what was to come, he surrendered to his need to have her, smothering her neck and lips with kisses filled with the animal passion that only she could satisfy.
"Rachel!" he gasped, his passions fully aroused. For a moment their faces parted, and he opened his eyes. And there she was, smiling as she always smiled – with a malevolence born of a knowledge that he was still her prisoner, as surely as he had been when he had been chained up and at her mercy in Luthor's cage.
"That's right, Ollie – give yourself to me! You're mine, Oliver – you'll always be mine!"
And she was right – there was no escape.
He was still the slave of Rachel Akunin.
"No!"
Oliver sat bolt upright in bed, his eyes wide open. For a split second his mind could not adjust to the new reality and he sat absolutely still, only his labored breathing breaking the silence.
A nightmare – it had been a nightmare. As Oliver's heartbeat began to subside he felt a wave of relief that what had seemed so vividly real just seconds before was in fact no more than a product of his troubled subconscious. He glanced to his side, suddenly fearful that he might have woken Chloe. His concern was unfounded; she still lay sleeping next to him, her face a picture of contentment in the half light that slipped through the blinds at the window. He smiled, and for an all too brief moment the memory of earlier in the evening drove away the terror of his nightmare. They had made love, and it had been as exciting and as exhilarating as their first time together. He could still not quite believe how lucky he was, to have found in Chloe a woman so perfect that at last he felt complete. How had he lived without her? It seemed impossible to comprehend. He was the luckiest man alive, if only the nightmares would go away...
Silently Oliver slipped from between the sheets and made his way to the door. He needed some air; his body drenched with sweat, he needed to move, to think. Taking care to close the door to the bedroom behind him, he turned on the lights of the penthouse, hoping that the familiar surroundings would help to banish the lingering sense of unease left by his nightmare. It did not; he was not surprised, because he had gone through the same routine for six or seven nights now. He would drift off to sleep, hoping that this would be the night when at last he would be allowed to sleep untroubled by his recollections of the trauma he had endured. But every night his hopes would be dashed, as he would wake drenched in sweat, haunted by a nightmare that seemed terrifyingly real.
And the worst thing was, it was the same nightmare.
Night after night it was the same – him making love with Akunin in some anonymous hotel. He never had nightmares about Lex, or about the physical tortures he had suffered during his long imprisonment. It was always about her. Why? He tried to be rational, to remind himself that she was dead, and that she couldn't harm him now. But it was no use – he could not drive her from his subconscious. She had known it would be like this, when she had told him as she lay dying that she would always be a part of him. He'd dismissed it at the time, but now her words resonated in his mind with a remarkable power. Why couldn't he escape from her grip? In his heart he knew the answer, of course. She had violated him in a way that Lex never could, robbed him of his dignity and self respect. She had taken him – and she had made it seem so easy. It didn't matter that she had drugged him – he still felt an immense shame as he thought of those terrible images she recorded, images of his betrayal of Chloe. He had wanted to be her hero, the perfect lover – and Akunin had made him feel hollow, worthless.
Preoccupied with his fears and doubts, he barely noticed that he had walked to the small cabinet which contained the only thing that could give him peace. Perhaps it was because he'd taken those steps too many times now, it was as if he was on autopilot. He paused for a moment, knowing that what he was about to do was no solution to his problems, but merely a temporary escape. He knew he needed help - he knew he needed to talk to Chloe. He wanted to confide in her, but time and again something held him back. Was it shame? Fear of laying bare his betrayal? He knew she would understand – she always understood – and yet still he could not bring himself to talk to her, to share his pain.
And so he had to face it alone. Or rather, he had to face it with a bottle.
He opened the cabinet and took out a glass and a bottle of scotch. The decision made, he poured himself a triple, and then downed it in one gulp. It wasn't a solution, he knew that, but solutions could wait. Now he needed to escape, to sleep an untroubled sleep – and if the drink could give him that, then so be it.
Without hesitation, he poured himself another.
"Oliver..."
Chloe's voice, soft and comforting, sounded in Oliver's head, disturbing his heavy, scotch-induced slumber. For a moment he did not respond, something within him saying this was another dream, or rather another dream that would turn into a nightmare. He'd had enough of those; he wanted to stay in the peaceful darkness that the alcohol had created.
"Oliver....it's me, Chloe."
There it was again, and this time Chloe's voice could not be mistaken for a dream. Her scent was filling his nostrils, and he could feel her hand caressing his face, her touch so gentle, so tender.
He slowly opened his eyes, taking time to focus. Where was he? His back ached, the pain reminding him that he had spent the last few hours not in his own bed, but on the couch. In front of him on a low table stood the half empty bottle of scotch, a silent reproach to his own weakness. And then there was Chloe, perched beside him on the couch, her face a picture of concern and unconditional love.
"Chloe..." he said, his voice sounding dry and weak. He tried to pull himself up, but she stopped him, her hand resting gently but firmly on his chest.
"You lie there a minute," she said quietly. For a second the two looked at each other, each trying to find the right words. Chloe wanted to show she loved him, that she was there for him; she wanted him to open up to her, to allow her to share his pain and make it alright. And Oliver so desperately wanted to let her in, but somehow he couldn't; the words would just not come, and that made him feel as if he was letting her down all over again.
"Another bad dream?" she said simply. He did not respond, but simply looked at her, his eyes sad and lost. He looked so vulnerable, Chloe felt a wave of emotion building within her – why was this happening to him, after all he had been through?
"I know," she said, "I know." She said no more, but instead leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. It was a simple act, but an act that said more than any words; they understood each other in a way that only lovers could.
She glanced across at the half empty bottle. His eyes followed her gaze, and he felt a flush of shame; how could he put her through this?
"Oliver, promise that next time you'll wake me. Promise that next time you won't ....."
"I promise," he interrupted, his words full of certainty. "I swear to you, Chloe – whatever happens, I won't touch it again."
Hope you enjoyed that, guys - after the Green Arrow action of the last chapter I wanted to establish that Oliver is still suffering from the aftermath of his ordeal as Lex's prisoner. We've seen on the show that Ollie can turn to drink when he's in trouble, and so it seemed natural to show him hitting the bottle here. The next few chapters will see Toyman beginning his plan to destroy our hero, and Jimmy back to his old tricks in trying to prise Chloe and Oliver apart. I'll try to get a chapter up next week, but I can't guarantee it - life is really busy at the moment.
Thanks so much to you wonderful reviewers - your encouragement means everything to me! Please do post a review, however short - they are my inspiration!
