Disclaimer: I own nothing in this universe. Perhaps in others that's not true but here all things belong to their owners
A/N: I got some awesome reviews last chapter! Thanks for those! They are really inspiring! And a lot of questions! This is Fringe so questions are inevitable but let's just see which ones will get answered in time! This is sort of a flashback chapter on what has been going on in Olivia's life for the past couple of years
It was the phone call Olivia Dunham had been waiting for, for two and a half years. The phone call that would tell her they found him. That he was safe. That he was coming home to her. To them.
She remembers like it was yesterday that moment when he literally vanished out of her life. Right before her eyes. She couldn't understand what had happened and no one, not even Walter could give her any kind of answer. The first few weeks were the hardest. She kept looking over her shoulder, expecting him to be there when she turned around but he never was. There was no trace of him. No nothing. He was just gone. About five weeks after he disappeared was when the nausea started. Initially she dismissed it as stress and anxiety over what was happening. Then when it didn't go away she wrote it off as the flu. She went through about five different scenarios before what was really wrong even crossed her mind. She was passing her calendar one morning when she noticed it. It was the end of June and she hadn't gotten her period that month. She flipped back to May. Ignoring the 22nd, the day it had happened and looked back two weeks before when she had had her last period. Immediately things started coming together in her mind. She didn't even stop to think before she grabbed her coat and drove to the local convenience store and bought two home pregnancy tests. Within the hour she was staring at two positive signs in front of her. She held her head in her hands. This was just not happening.
She knew exactly when it had happened. A few days before the incident as she was now referring to it, Peter had taken her out for a romantic dinner and they had found themselves in a very romantic way once they arrived back home. She sat there, making decisions she didn't want to have to make alone. Did she want children? It had never been something she explicitly wanted but she didn't not want it either. She didn't really see that as a relevant question anymore because like it or not she was going to have one. Instantly with that thought she answered another. She was keeping the baby. The baby. She placed her hand on her stomach and cradled it protectively. An odd emotion struck her. She suddenly felt very protective of the small life growing within her. A small part of her brain knew that there was a possibility, and that possibility grew with every day that she was never going to see Peter again. But somehow, the universe had seen fit to leave her with a part of him. A life, that he had created with her, and she knew that she had to protect this last part of him with all of her being.
Within the week she had a doctor's appointment to confirm her suspicions. She sat alone in the office of her OB/GYN and looked around at all the couples and she felt her eyes filling up with tears. She wasn't normally an outwardly emotional person and she blamed it on the hormones but seeing these couples, these families celebrating their joy together, only made her miss Peter more. She tried to get her mind off of it by looking around the office at all the posters and bulletins about Lamaze, the stages of fetal development, what to expect when you're expecting things, and wondered what Peter would think of all this, them having a baby. He was great with kids as evident by the time he had spent with Ella but she had never heard him talk about wanting any of his own. She had always figured that was a conversation they had time for in the future. Before she could get upset again the nurse called her back and prepped her for the appointment. Her doctor joined them shortly after.
"Good morning Miss Dunham, I see you think you are pregnant." Her doctor said to her. "Let's see what we have going on here. I'm afraid this is going to be a bit cold." The doctor squeezed the ultrasound gel onto Olivia's still flat stomach and began to wave the wand around. "Ah yes, you are indeed pregnant. That right there," The doctor said pointing to a small peanut shaped image on the screen, "is your baby and this, is the heartbeat." The doctor flicked another switch and the sound of her baby's heartbeat filled her ears. Olivia felt herself breakdown. She was so overcome with emotion that she couldn't hold it in anymore. Staring at the grainy picture and hearing her child's heartbeat for the first time she felt herself fall in love with the life growing inside of her. She felt a wave of happiness that she had never felt before in her life and she also felt a wave of sadness. Peter should be here to experience this with her. Once again she was pulled out of her reverie.
"Good strong heartbeat. I'll just print some of these pictures for you, I'll be right back." When the doctor came back it became established that Olivia was about six weeks pregnant and her due date was at the end of February. Her next appointment was scheduled and she was sent on her way. The ultrasound pictures took up residence on her fridge, on the table next to her bed, and on her desk at work. As time passed they were joined with more grainy black and white pictures that displayed what looked more and more like a person with every addition. Obviously this was something that could not be kept hidden so she decided to tell everyone sooner rather than later. She was given full support from Broyles and everyone at work and told taking time off after the baby was born would not be an issue. Rachel and Ella were over the moon about it and their enthusiasm was topped only by that of Walter's. He liked Olivia had refused to give up on finding Peter but like her had accepted that there was a chance he would never return and knew that with this child he would at least have a small piece of his son. He would follow Olivia around and talk to her swelling belly in scientific lingo that Olivia couldn't begin to understand but she was glad that Walter had found something to pull him out of his depression.
Months passed, and Olivia grew closer and closer to becoming a single parent. One cold night in February she found herself lying in bed with her collection of ultrasound photos. She had refused to know the sex of her baby deciding to be surprised. She was very large at this point and was looking forward to her due date but she was nervous. The closer her due date got the more the realization that she was going to have to do this on her own. She feared that she would mess up somehow but she had been assured by Rachel that those thoughts were completely normal. She layed back on her pillows exhausted and fell asleep dreaming of Peter, and them raising their child together and then the dream turned into a nightmare with Peter and her child suddenly vanished in front of her and she felt herself jump awake and she could have sworn to herself that she saw an observer in her room but when she turned on the light for a better look there was nothing there. There was however, a sharp pain in her abdomen and she felt her water break.
Eighteen hours later Olivia was about to deliver her baby. She was exhausted from the hours of labor and wished that now more than ever Peter was here with her. She needed him to help her get through this.
"Ok Olivia, I want you to take a deep breath and on the next contraction give me a big push. Ok here we go. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, good job Olivia. Ok here comes another one let's do it again." And so this continued on for two hours and Olivia was exhausted.
"I don't know if I can do this anymore." Olivia said. Her face covered in sweat and her hair plastered to her forehead.
"Yes you can Olivia. One more big push and your baby is going to be here," the doctor said. "Here comes another contraction, and push Olivia push!" Olivia gave it all she had for one last push and within seconds everything became a blur as she felt something slip out of her and she heard the sound of her child's cry for the first time. The doctor laid the child on Olivia's chest and began wiping her off with a blanket.
"IT'S A GIRL!" The doctor exclaimed and Olivia wrapped her arms around her daughter and felt the tears begin to fall down her cheeks. She placed kisses on the baby's head as the nurses came over to take her to be looked over and measured. Olivia reluctantly let go of her daughter. Minutes later she was informed that she had given birth to a healthy eighteen inch, six pound, seven ounce baby girl. They placed the baby back in her mother's arms and instructed her how to breast feed her child. Soon thereafter she was left alone with her child for the first time since her birth.
"Hello there my beautiful baby girl. I can't believe you are here and I can't believe how much I love you and you haven't even been here an hour yet. I just wanted to let you know that I am going to do the best I can to be the best mom I can for you. I really wish your daddy was here to do this with me but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. So you and I, we gotta stick together little girl. And I just want you to know that your daddy loves you very much even if he isn't here with you and I'm going to make sure you always know that. You are going to know how loved you are each and every day." Olivia said reaching down to kiss her daughter's head. Just then the little girl opened her eyes and looked up at her mother and she wrapped her hand around Olivia's finger. It was so small that it barely encircled it halfway but she squeezed it with all her might. Olivia felt her heart melt again and felt as if her daughter was telling her, "I love you too mommy." In her own way.
Time passed and Olivia soon felt all the joys of motherhood along with all the burdens of single motherhood. Doing this alone was hard. Especially the late night feedings and sleepless nights but she wouldn't trade it for the world. Olivia knew she shouldn't start habits like this but she couldn't bear to be separated from her daughter so she slept in Olivia's bed with her and Olivia even hated taking her to the daycare in her office during the work day. She had decided to name her daughter Kathryn. Kathryn Elizabeth Bishop and she was wrapped around the little girl's finger. Every day she became more and more attached and fell more and more in love with her. The only person who possibly loved the child more than Olivia was Walter who spent as much time as he could with her. Both of them happy to have something to distract them from the constant pain of Peter's absence, and the knowledge that as time grew on with no trace of him, they were likely never to see him again. As Kathryn reached milestones day after day Olivia wished so dearly that Peter could witness them with her. To see this life they created together growing up and learning new things about the world every day. Olivia made sure to videotape as much as she could in the hopes that Peter should return one day and would be able to experience his child's first baby food, first words, first steps, and everything else people liked to watch their children do.
Olivia woke up one morning and opened her eyes and saw that her now two and a half year old daughter was still fast asleep curled up next to her in Olivia's bed. Olivia looked down at her daughter and couldn't believe how much she had grown. She was more or less the spitting image of her mother but had her father's eyes. Olivia was glad of this. She felt like she had a way of seeing Peter every day this way. She felt her daughter stirring next to her.
"Good morning my angel. How are you today?" Olivia asked bending down to kiss the top of her head."
"Hi Mommy." Kathryn said smiling back at her mother. She had a very advanced vocabulary for her age and Olivia hoped that meant that she had inherited the Bishop smarts.
"What do you want to do today my love?" Olivia asked smoothing the blonde locks out of her daughter's eyes.
"Go playgound peas Mommy." The little girl said and Olivia had to laugh.
"I think I can make that happen. Let's go get some breakfast then we can go!"
It was during breakfast that the phone rang. It was Nina Sharp.
"Olivia, it's Nina Sharp."
"Hello Nina, how are you today?" Olivia asked laughing as her daughter tried to feed herself. "Hang on one minute baby and mommy will help you."
"I'm fine Olivia, I hope you and Kathryn are well."
"We are thank you. Did you need something?"
"Not exactly…..we found him Olivia." She said.
"What?" Olivia asked confused.
"Peter. We found him. He's alive." The phone fell out of Olivia's had and Kathryn looked up in surprise.
"Uh oh Mommy." Olivia couldn't believe what she had just heard. Was this really happening? Not an hour later she was standing in a room, looking straight at him. Peter. The man she still loved with all her being after nearly three years of absence. She had been informed that he remembered nothing of what had happened to him and she didn't care because she had him back and all she wanted for the moment was to hug him. At least until her, their daughter made her way into the room. Then she found herself with a lot of explaining to do and very little time to do it.
"Who is this Mommy?" Kathryn asked holding on to her mother and looking at Peter.
"This is…Mommy's friend." She had been so inclined to tell Kathryn this was her daddy but on top of the need to ease them both into this and she feared what could happen should Peter disappear again and didn't want her daughter to go through what she did she didn't come out with the truth yet. One look at Peter's face though told her that he knew full well he was looking at his own child.
"Kathryn, Mommy needs to talk to her friend about grown up things for one minute so you go out there with Auntie Astrid and Grandpa and I'll be out in one minute ok?" Olivia asked her daughter.
"Ok Mommy." Olivia kissed her daughter's head and sent her back out the door.
"So…" Olivia said looking at Peter.
"She's mine." Peter said. It wasn't a question.
"Ours technically, but yes, she is yours." Olivia said.
"Ours." Peter said. He seemed to spin that around in his head for a minute before looking at her.
"We have a daughter." He said shaking his head in disbelief.
"We have a daughter." She said back to him and she hugged herself to him once more.
A/N: Long chapter I know! I hope you enjoyed and let me know what you think!
