Haruka hated Makoto's smiles. Not all of them, of course. Seeing those sweet, charming ones that warmed the heart with the purest of feelings made him happy for hours after. But sometimes Makoto would smile in that strange, peculiar way, which always made Haruka blind with bottled anger.

If he thought about it really hard, it was like that since forever. Those smiles never failed to leave him angry, sad and powerless, useless. Because Makoto always smiled, and he couldn't do anything about it, even if he tried.

Makoto was so used to pushing down his feelings, to pretending that everything was okay, to putting others before himself, that it made Haruka almost snap each and every time. He wanted to free Makoto of this burden so much, but he couldn't do anything, unless the other actually wanted it to happen. And he didn't.

Haruka knew Makoto since they were small children. He was one of his first friends, and one that actually stayed his friend throughout all these years. The reason was probably Makoto's caring nature. Yet whatever it was, it didn't matter much to him. What was important was that Makoto was there with him, nothing else mattered.

If he thought deep enough, he was sure that he wouldn't be able to live normally if Makoto ever disappeared. He was his constant, his rock, it didn't matter who came his way, who left him. As long as Makoto was beside him, it was enough.

That was also one of the reasons he got so angry seeing those fake smiles. Why did Makoto even do that? He didn't have to pretend. Not with him, at least. Haruka could see right through him either way. It was always like that. He wouldn't say anything, he would just observe and guard Makoto silently.

But sometimes those smiles made him lose control and snap. Just like now.

'Why do you always smile like that?' he asked, facing away from the other. He couldn't even stand to look at him.

'Like what?' Makoto sounded surprised and confused. 'Is there something wrong with the way I smile, Haru?'

He risked a glance at his friend. That hideous excuse of a smile was gone, replaced with a slight frown that marred Makoto's forehead. That expression was so much better, it almost made Haruka sigh with relief. Almost.

'You always force yourself to act cheerful around others,' he stated with an undertone of resentment in his voice. 'Why are you putting on a smile, when you don't feel like smiling at all?'

He definitely surprised him. The green eyes were wide in shock. He probably didn't think anyone noticed. That could even be true, but Haruka wasn't anyone. He watched Makoto far too long and far too closely. There was nothing the other could hide from him, nothing. That's why he saw Makoto's smiling mask cracking around the corners now and then.

'I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings,' Makoto's quiet voice was hesitant and strained. 'It's not such a big price to pay.'

It was so rare to hear him like that, that Haruka wanted to come closer and just put his arms around his frail soul and protect it from experiencing such pain ever again. But he didn't move. If he did, Makoto wouldn't understand.

'You're hurting me, Makoto,' he looked at him, careful not to let his emotions get the best of him. 'Because you push your feelings away, you hurt yourself. And I can't stand to watch that.'

Haruka waited. He didn't want to interrupt Makoto's thoughts, which he clearly saw swirling in his eyes. It was his decision, after all. The only thing he could do, he already did, now everything was in Makoto's hands.

He looked away. Watching the sun set down behind the horizon always calmed him down, but today, the deep crimson the ocean was painted with brought up his worst premonitions to light. It was probably a sign, a sign that whatever it was Makoto was fighting with, he will end up losing.

A deep sigh coming from Makoto made Haruka automatically turn his way. 'I understand what you are trying to say, Haru,' he almost immediately knew that some horrible but was coming, something he won't like for sure, 'but that's the way I am. I don't think I can change that.'

Haruka turned away, knowing full well that his eyes were far too expressive at the moment. He wanted to punch something, someone, preferably Makoto. How much would he have to suffer until he finally got it?

He didn't notice the other coming closer. Only when two strong arms embraced him from behind did he look up to gaze into those green eyes he could read so well.

'I can't change,' Makoto started, his expression serious, yet gentle. 'but I can promise you, I'll try not to do that around you.'

'I don't want you to force yourself again, only this time for me,' he answered, clenching his fist. This wasn't what he aimed for. He just wanted Makoto to be free, not bound with yet another restriction.

'I won't,' Makoto's warm cheek touched his in a gentle caress. 'After all, my smiles for you are always sincere and full of love.'

And he smiled, one of those blindingly beautiful smiles Haruka so loved. Well, maybe that deal wasn't so bad for now, he thought, looking away in slight embarrassment. For now…