My first chapter was a little bit rusty and I noticed a ton of mistakes later, so I'm sorry about that, I don't know if I'm going to continue this story after this chapter. I don't own Degrassi and I hope everyone is having a nice day This story is going to sort of like the storyline of how Eli and Clare met with a few things different. If anyone has any suggestions let me know.


Eli's POV

I drum my fingers on my steering wheel, taking in the new city that I just moved to. It's called Toronto, of course I've heard of it before, considering it's the capital of Ontario but I've never been here before. It looks like Vancouver, British Columbia, my former home. I sigh, everything is so dull here, so boring, I squeeze my eyes shut really tight, to prevent the tears from flowing, I miss Julia. I left her in Vancouver, BC with everything else I loved. Deep breath Eli, I remind myself.

Julia was the love of my life. I left her in BC, I would've taken her with me to Toronto except she's dead. This time a tear dripped from my eye, knowing I was responsible for her death. I should've just stayed out of her life like all of her friends told me to. I'm going to miss going to her grave everyday. When I was in Vancouver, I would go to Julia's tombstone everyday and sit there for hours on end, with a new bouquet of flowers everyday. I guess all that time in graveyards inspired me to drive the hearse I'm currently sitting in now. I wanted to drive around downtown Toronto to get a sense of what my new city is like.

I start to grow impatient. I was sitting at a red light and it just wouldn't change. Why was this red light taking so long? I growl annoyed. The minute the light turned green I hit the gas pedal so hard I flew down the road, I catch a few people giving me a dirty looks but I could care less. I keep driving fast. I see a girl jogging ahead of my car, as I pass her I catch a glance at her in the rear view mirror. She is beautiful, just as beautiful as Julia was but in a completely different way. Julia was experienced, not innocent, not a saint, this girl looks like everything Julia wasn't. She looked terrified of my hearse, I smirk a little bit at the fact that this girl has probably never seen a hearse in her life.

By now she's way past me I can't see her anymore, I only saw her for a few seconds since I drove by her so fast. I shake my head at myself, feeling guilty that I thought of another girl other than Julia. I slow down the speed of my car, knowing that I was probably terrifying everyone driving on the road. I roll down my window as I approach my new house. I slam open the front door and walk into the bedroom that was destined to be mine for the next two years. It was white, it was empty, it was lifeless. I hate it. Tomorrow I'll buy some black paint and paint the walls black.

"Eli, I need to talk to you", I sigh knowing it's probably about the school that I have to attend. I grumble profanities to myself as I walk down the stairs to greet my mother Cece.

"you rang?" I say with a smirk, she knew I was kidding but it didn't help her from smacking the back of the head lightly, I laugh but my face grows solemn as I see the expression on her face. It was serious. Cece is never serious.

"what's wrong?" I said gently, she looks at me with sympathy.

"Eli I know you're still grieving over the death of Julia but Bullfrog and I both agree that it's time for you to go back to school. We enrolled you into Degrassi community school and you will start tomorrow" she looks a little worried and I instantly feel bad that I ever made her feel like I was going to snap at her for enrolling me into school.

"Cece, it's okay, I'm ready to go back" that was blatant lie, I'm sure she could see through it but I didn't want my mother to feel bad for me, sympathy was something I didn't deserve after all, I caused Julia's death. I should've never let her go biking in the dark, my fault a voice whispered in my head. Cece nods at me, it's her way of telling me I'm dismissed, I walk back up the stairs, taking my time. I miss Julia, I miss the way that the sun glinted off her eyes in the sun, I miss the way her face looked when she was concentrating really hard, I miss the way that she would tell me she needed me. Bad thoughts Eli, I remind myself, I couldn't afford to think like this, it was dangerous and bad in every way. I could lose myself again if I kept thinking like this.

Tomorrow I had school, I start to get some books ready in order for me to go tomorrow, not that I would really try in school, except for maybe in English class the only subject I was actually good at. School was not something I was excited about. School is the same no matter what city you're in, girls with self esteem problems and guy's who were secretly scared of rejection but hid it with over cockiness.

I open up my laptop to respond to some of the messages my old friend's from Vancouver had sent me. Mostly it just people saying they missed me and that they hoped I could visit soon. I write back all of them with promises that I was fine and that I'm excited to be in Toronto, a huge lie.

Alone was bad for me, when you're alone you're never really alone, you're alone with your thoughts and that's much worse then being with people. Alone kills me so before I go into some freakish panic, I go to sleep.

Clare's POV

The Hearse I saw was still in my mind, it was Sunday night, school is tomorrow. Today is the last day of March break. Why is someone driving a hearse so fast? I shake my head trying to escape the thoughts of death, sometimes I wish I could die, NO CLARE I told myself, I want to live, I have to be strong, for my parents because if I die nothing will keep them together anymore. Tomorrow is back to school, great I thought sarcastically. That means more comments about Saint Clare and seeing Jenna and Alli everyday.

School is not exactly my favorite place to be, Adam Torres is my only friend and everyone think's he's a freak since he's a FTM which is a female to male transgender. So people call us Saint Clare and the "heshe". People think I'm some sort of Jesus loving freak, I let them believe it. To be honest though I don't think I even believe in God anymore because if God existed then Darcy is in hell, since suicide is a sin. God, why can't I ever think normally. I'm still tired from my run but I don't want to sleep because the faster I sleep the faster I wake up and the faster school comes.

I log online and read vampire fanfiction, It's a good escape for me. I almost laugh remembering what I did to Declan Coyne all those years ago. God I'm an idiot I thought to myself. My phone buzzes, it's Alli, I pick up.

The minute I pick up I hear sniffling, I sigh Alli is always crying, since she used to be my friend I guess I still get worried sometimes,

"what's wrong Alli"I say in a worried tone, sometimes Alli's tears are pointless but sometimes something is actually wrong.

"I saw Jenna kissing Drew" was her response, she couldn't say anything more because she was gasping for air so she couldn't speak. I could tell she was in shock and surprised by what she saw but I wasn't not in the least. I expected this. Jenna even told us she was a boyfriend stealer. She took KC and I knew it was a matter of time before she took Drew. I could hang up on her but I knew that, that would make me a bad friend.

"Alli, it's okay calm down, you're way prettier then Jenna and Drew is a cheating idiot, he already cheated on you with Bianca and you gave him a second chance, he doesn't deserve a third, trust me Alli" I pleaded. I hope she doesn't give Drew another chance he'll just hurt her again. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

"You're right Clare, I'm so stupid, and I'm sorry for how I treated you about KC, I should've never taken Jenna's side but I got so swept up by how popular she was" she hiccupped and kept crying, I felt bad for Alli, I know I should still be mad at her but hearing her cry to me on the phone was enough to remind me that she needed me, this was why I was alive to keep people from Alli from hurting.

"Jenna's an idiot Alli, an absolute idiot, she's stupid, ignorant and rude" I wanted to swear more about Jenna but Alli still think's of me as Saint Clare so I can't. My rambling thought's stopped for a minute because I heard Alli stop crying, what's going on?

"Clare, how dare you talk about Jenna like that, that is so rude of you, Jenna's my best friend and has never said anything bad about you Clare. By the way Jenna is sitting right next to me, she told me to call you, she didn't kiss Drew and we just wanted to see what you'd say about her" the call dropped. I can't believe she did that to me.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day, especially after what I said about Jenna. I go back to reading my vampire fiction. Before I drift off to sleep wondering what's going to happen tomorrow.

When I wake up, I curse at myself for what I said about Jenna, everyone is going to be especially mean to me and I'm going to have to smile at them and pretend not to care. I'll have to pretend that everything in my life was perfect. I stumble into the bathroom blinded by the light. I spot the razor, knowing that me and that razor are going to spend hours together tonight. I change from my pajamas into a blue long sleeve top that has a belt on the waist and pants. I scrub on a little bit of eyeliner and mascara, waterproof of course and a little bit of cover up to cover up my black eye. It still hasn't went away. I cringe looking at it, my dad hates me so much, he feels the need to punch me, I look away when I finish applying the cover up, grab my bag and start walking to school. It's misting out, I see Degrassi, as I'm walking into the parking lot a hearse almost hit's me in the side, I fall just from being scared, the driver obviously think's he hurts me and runs out.

"are you okay?, I'm so sorry" he says. I glance up at him, he has the most beautiful green eye's I've ever seen.

"I'm fine, don't worry about it" I smile in a way that I hope is convincing, he needs to know everything is fine and that I'm perfect and that I have no problems.

He glances at me not convinced but lets it go, he keeps staring into my eyes and for a second I think he's going to kiss me but then he just gives me a hand up since I was still on the pavement looking at his eyes like an idiot.

"You have pretty eyes" he tells me, did I really just hear that? Or am I hallucinating, Smile and thank him you idiot I tell myself.

"thanks, see you around?" I'm sure I'm blushing, hell I can feel my face heat up, he probably notices, I'm an idiot, see you around? What kind of loser says that, oh well he'll find out soon that I'm Saint Clare soon anyway and he obviously dates the bad girl types, why am I even talking about who he's dating? Ughh, this is frustrating.

"yea, for sure blue eyes" he smirks at me and turns away to go back into his hearse. Wait hearse? Is this the hearse I saw yesterday. Oh my god. I was distracted by how hot he was that I didn't even notice he was the hearse driver. Is he crazy? Has he ever been in high school, surely he knows most teenagers don't drive hearses. He's hot though so I guess girls will be after him anyway. Jenna will probably dump KC for him, this hearse driver certainly has a thing about him that leaves me breathless.

The bell rings and I scramble off to my first period. Grade 11 advanced English. I'm in grade 10 but I'm good in English so I was placed into this class. This class is my favorite; none of my tormentors are in it. No one here is in my grade, so people just ignores me. On top of that Ms. Dawes is my favorite teacher. I pull out my chair and sit down thinking about my day so far. I met some mysterious hearse driver and I only got called ugly twice today, once by Owen Milligan and once by Fitz. I try not to let that get to me but overall, so far so good I think to myself. Shit I hope I don't jinx that.

Ms. Dawes clears her throat interrupting my thinking, I glance up at her as she hands out papers. She put's my paper on my desk face down, I excitedly flip it over but my smile turns into a frown when I see the grade on it. It's a C. I got a c? I'm Clare Edward's I do not get marks like C's. I put up my hand but right when she's about to ask me what's wrong the English door slams open then shut as I see the hearse driver run in. He walks up to Ms. Dawes desk and I eavesdrop.

"Sorry I couldn't find the English room" he says.

Ms. Dawes sighs "that's okay, hope you enjoy your stay at Degrassi, take the empty seat in front of the girl with the auburn colored hair." I looked down feeling his gaze on me.

"I'm Eli by the way" he tells her as he makes his way over to me and sit's down.

"Clare you were saying?" she addresses my question from before.

"Ms. Dawes, how did I get a C, what did I do wrong?" I say worry in my voice, school is the only thing I excel at and I can't fail on this now, if I do that means I've failed every single thing I've ever tried to do in my life.

"Clare your early assignments were good but lately your writing has become distant and impersonal" she tells me. I sigh, of course it has in the course of a month my life has been turned upside down. I feel Eli's gaze on me so I answer her.

"Sorry, I'll make it better next time" I reply. Of course, I can't though, I can't be personal, she'd probably send me to a therapist if she really knew me. In the course of a month my life literally got switched around. My parents fighting escalated, my dad starting hitting me, Darcy committed suicide, Dave raped me, Alli and Jenna stopped being my friend and I started caring about what I looked like. I don't even eat anymore, without throwing it up. I over exercise myself, I sigh knowing that I'm probably going to tank my favorite subject.

Ms. Dawes snaps me out of my think "Clare, Eli is new to Degrassi and maybe at lunch he could help you with his work, I saw his writing's from his old school and they're a little wordy, you two will balance each other out nicely, would you help him at lunch?"

"Of course Ms. Dawes" I reply. How am I going to get through lunch with him? I can't even talk to him without stuttering. Oh calm down Clare, it's not like anyone that attractive would be interested in you I think to myself. I see a few girls in grade 11 give me the stink eye, great now I'm making enemies in another grade too. I almost sigh out loud in frustration but remember that the perfect image of St. Clare would never be annoyed by helping someone out so I paste a fake smile on my face while listening to Ms. Dawes. My legs won't stop shaking I'm so nervous for lunch.

Eli's POV

Clare, so her name is Clare, I wonder what her last name is probably something poetic. She's so opposite to Julia, her face is so innocent, baby like but cute at the same time. She catches me looking at her and look's down and blushes and I smirk to myself. I look down at her hands and see her twisting a purity ring, yup I was so right about her, a Christian girl, what else should I expect? She look's like one. A girl who's faithful to God and has never made a mistake in her life. So opposite to me.

Her brilliant blue eyes are still stuck in my mind, they were magnetizing. There was something off about them though, like she was hiding something. I almost laughed out loud, someone like her has nothing to hide but something from one of my therapy sessions kept repeating in my mind.

My therapist told me "when someone smiles more then usual it's because they're hiding pain" but then again Clare is probably just so happy that she's some faithful Christian girl. I sighed knowing that I wouldn't want it on my conscious to be the one to corrupt her.

I hear Ms. Dawes say "Eli, Clare can you come to my desk please?" when I look around I notice class ended and I was just sitting their zoned out, I almost blush out of embarrassment but instead I just walk up to Ms. Dawes desk with Clare. She tells us that we're going to be reviewing Clare's work in the English room and that she'll be back in an hour and half when lunch ends.

Clare clears her throat "So are you going to look over my work now?" she says with a hint of a smile.

I decide to be annoying "nope, let's just sit here and stare awkwardly at each other". She glares me down, I have to admit it's kind of cute.

"Here" she thrusts the paper at me and I sigh knowing that I'll have to edit it eventually.

When I finish reading it, I'm so bored. This paper was awful, how did she even get into grade 11 English? I don't want to be mean though so I just say

"this paper has no point of view, you never put your input, what do you personally think of gun control? You're writing like you're writing a newspaper article, boring and precise, just stating facts but what do you think, that's what I'm interested in. "

She sigh's and fiddles with her pen before replying "if I give my point of view then the paper become personal". I want to scream at her, writing is personal.

"or are you just too scared to admit that you're a secret crazy person and that you think gun control is a terrible thing and you wish everyone just spent their days shooting each other" I say with a laugh looking into her eyes till she looks away.

"woahh, uhmm well, I don't know" she stammers at me. Oh my god I'm actually having an effect on her. God she's so pretty and so innocent.

Clares POV

Great now I'm stammering like an idiot, he must think I'm so pathetic. For some reason I can trust him. After Dave raped me, I haven't been able to be in a room with a guy without having the fleeing instinct. I think Dave raping me was the tipping point to my life, when I started going crazy. No matter how many times I shower I never feel clean, I always feel him in me. It's disgusting. I've taken so many showers but I've never felt clean or holy again. The worst part is, I trusted Dave, I should've never invited him over. That was the biggest mistake. I thought I could trust Dave. I didn't tell anyone though, I couldn't that would destroy my image so I keep it in but seeing Dave everyday is going to hurt me a lot. I haven't seen him yet today but I know I can't run forever. I have every other class except this one with him.

Eli brought my out of my thoughts "stammering at me again?" he smirked, I flushed he must think I'm such a loser. I decide to keep the conversation about my paper.

"So how do I fix the paper Eli?" I say with sarcasm since he hasn't actually given me any advice yet.

"pick a new subject, if you could change one thing about your life what would it be?" he asks me. I can't answer him honestly but now I don't know what to say. Shit, think Clare think, Clare just say something, anything I tell myself.

"less homework?" wow I'm making myself sound like a prude, oh well.

"I don't believe that, out of all the thing's you could change you pick something about homework, that's obviously bullshit" he looks at me strangely.

What was he staring at? I don't know how to answer him.

"well everything's great in my life so I honestly don't know what I would change other then homework" I say and flash him a bright smile. He doesn't buy it. It's obvious the look on his face tells it all but I'm at loss of words so I just sit there and look at my nails on the desk.

Eli finally breaks the long awkward silence "I think I saw you jogging yesterday"

"yeah, I think I saw your weird hearse drive by, why do you drive a hearse anyway?"

"Excuse me? Are you saying my hearse is weird? Hearses are quite amazing methods of transportation" he says trying to sound like a teacher, as funny as it is I can't find myself to laugh. Hearses mean death and I can't take something like that so lightly but now that I think of it obviously something inspired him to buy that hearse.

"excuse me I have to go to the bathroom" I run out, and start panting, how can he take something so lightly? It's ridiculous. I see Dave at the end of the hallway as see's me he gives me a flirty smile and smacks my butt lightly. That's it, I've had it I start crying, I didn't even bother moving to the bathroom I just bawl in the hallway. I hear someone awkwardly clearing there throat in front of me and see Eli.

"um are you okay?", he asks me awkwardly.

"yeah, I just fell on the way out of the room but I'm fine" I smile and walk back into the room slowly.

"I thought you had to go to the bathroom"

"I did but I guess the fall made me not have to go anymore"

He start's laughing at me.

"Glad I amuse you" I say

"you're weird" he says with a smirk. I push him lightly on the shoulder and he pushes me back.

Eli's POV

I saw Clare crying? It was weird. I didn't think people like her cried. I guess it was just over a bruised knee or something.

"Want me to kiss your booboo better?" I ask her sarcastically.

"what?" she asks me with a blank stare. Did she forget she fell already? Maybe she's not as smart as she seems.

" I thought you hurt yourself on the way out of the classroom" I say very slowly.

"Eli, don't talk to me like I'm 5 years old"

"You're acting like you are, already forgetting things Clare, or is that dementia?" I say a bit confused myself but mostly jokingly.

She just stares at me a bit blankly and I look into her eyes and slowly start leaning in. Her lips look so kissable, she starts to lean in too.

This was pretty bad I know but I'm not that strong in writing yet, I'm working on it. I don't know if I'm going to bother continuing because I don't really know how to keep going. If you guy's could write in reviews how to continue or pm me that'd be great I don't own Degrassi. I guess I'll do chapter 3 when I feel motivated to do it. Hope everyone is having a nice day.