I do not own DA or any of the characters etc etc. Hail to JC



Chapter 3: Guilt

Things had been calm for a few months; Logan & I were being cool. Alec & I had even become friends, we worked together and even partied together but lately he seem to bring out the bitch in me again!!

OC had even pulled me up one night at Crash

"What's up, Boo"?

"What do you mean"? I said, as I was finishing a beer

"I Mean, what's up"?

"Nothing" I said

"Hey, your fine, so fine you had to rip in to your boy earlier for no reason" Pulling her usual I know your lying face

"He's not my boy and I didn't rip into him"

"Then why you, beating down on him, when ever he opens his mouth"

I had to admit I had been on Alec's back for a while now, but I couldn't say why.

"I don't know," I said as I stared at my glass

"You still mad about the virus thing with Logan" her voice softening

"Well, I'll never be alright with it, but it's not that"

"Then what"? Her voice rising a little

"Well, I think it's to do with" I stopped myself from finishing what I was saying

"With what Boo" Her voice not only softened this time but she moved my face to look at her

"Nothing"

"Look Boo, I ain't goanna push you, but lay off him a bit, yer" Concern in her face for me, not so much for Alec.

"Yer"

"Another beer Boo" About to grab my glass

"No, I am heading off in 10" Putting my hand over the glass

See ya at home" OC said as she was getting off her stool

"Yer, have fun"

"Always, Boo" OC winked and headed over to a tall blond. That did bring a smile to my face; OC was always working the ladies!

I knew OC was right and I knew it wasn't Alec's fault either… It was me. I had got to close to Alec, so close that I had been having dreams about him!! And I didn't like it, I loved Logan and I should only be dreaming about Logan. Well I did in some dreams, but even they had been changing lately. I would be with Logan, but then half way through the dream, he would change into Alec. It was always the same, Logan & me together in his apartment, candles, dinner, music and wine. We would dance together; gently touch and kiss, then when we moved to the bedroom, and when the real passion starts to set in, he turns in to Alec. Every god dame time, just as I was thinking about this, Alec walks up

"Hey, Max"

"What do you, want?" I snapped. I didn't want him to see I was blushing.

"Sorry I bothered" He snapped back

He started to say something else "I don't know what's…. oh, Just forget about it" And he walked away, before I could say anything.

I saw him walk over to Sketchy, I could also see Sketchy asking Alec, what was up, they both looked back at me.

God Max, pull yourself together, it isn't his fault you're having dreams about him. I needed to go for a ride, which always helped calm me down. I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door, I swear I could feel Alec's eyes follow me, but I didn't look back just in case.

I drove for hours and it felt good, by time I got home I actually felt tied. OC was already a sleep by the time I got home, so I settled in for another night of dream filled sleep…



This continued for another week or so. I couldn't take it anymore; my mood was only getting worse. So that night I sat down with OC and told her everything.

"So, you been having wet dreams about ya boy"

"He's nooot my boy" I couldn't stress that enough

"And they are not wet" I corrected her

"And this is the reason you, keep bitching him"

"Yer" Feeling just a little embarrassed having to admit that

"Why Boo, it ain't his fault, you lusting after his body," She said with a smile

"I am not lusting after his body"

"So having dreams about fucking the arse off him every night, don't mean that"? She laughed

"No, it just means I haven't had it in a very long time!!"

"So you can't be dreaming about getting busy with Logan instead"

"That's it, I do dream of Logan, well that's how it starts out"

"Explain Boo" OC looking very interested

"Ok, its me and Logan, music, wine and slow dancing right, but" I stopped

"But what"

"As things get more… you no"

"Down and dirty" OC said with a bigger smile than before

I pulled a face" Passionate"

"I preferred, down and dirty" OC, being honest

"Do you want to help or not"?

"Alright, Passionate, then what"

"Well, that's when Logan turns in to Alec"

"Oh, I get it Boo" Nodding her head

"Get what"?

"I get, that Logan is the wine and romance in ya dream"

"Yer, and"

"Alec is the down and dirty, don't ya see Boo"

"See what"? Not sure I really wanted to hear what she was about to say

"Ya got, the hots for your Boy" She said this slowly making sure she stressed hots

"He's not my… What are you saying"?

"Boo, you find Alec a turn on, and that's cool"

"No it's not, and I don't" Trying to sound convincing

"Then you explain it" OC Looking me straight in my eyes

"I can't" I sighed deeply, I knew she was right

"That's why you keep bitching at him, you feel guilty"

"I know," I moaned "I shouldn't have any sort of feelings for anyone other than Logan"

"Boo, your not with Logan now"

"I know, but that doesn't stop me from loving him" I said, "We still love each and here I am dreaming of doing some other guy"

"And that other guy happens to be Alec" OC said with a side ways glance

"Yer, Alec"

"Boo, it's alright to find other men hot, you're not a saint"

"But" she didn't let me finish

"But nothing Boo, you human like us all and you have needs and feelings"

"But, why Alec" I moaned again

"Cos, he's hot" OC laughs

"Your not helping" I moaned

"Look, I say don't worry about it"

"But Boo, lay off the boy, it ain't his fault" OC smiled but her tone was serious

"Ok" I half smiled at her…

"Oh and one more thing Boo"

"What"

"Give up this guilt thing, or at least try to" OC looking at me "you never gonna have any sort of life until ya do"

We both sat there in silence, for what seemed like hours…

TBC – reviews please, should I even bother going on???