by Kate/Kaeda (kaeda@water-witch.net)
Pairing: sorta Elena/Tseng
Rating: PG-13
Ah, it's Chapter 2! I got it out fast, too *_*. I'm not usually this good at completeing another chapter, but I got a ton of inspiration :D. I started a new game so that I could record the dialouge from the Mythril Mines, but I haven't gotten there yet *falls over* so that's in the next chapter :P.
Thanks to all you loverly people who reviewed ^_-. I love you :D. The Aeris idea came from KrystalClear, and the rest of you just rock. Please review this one too *^^*.
Disclaimer in chapter 1. I get so sick of typing it over and over and over X_X;;. I'll still laugh at you if you flame me, though. ¬¬
And now, onto chapter 2 :D.
----Chapter 2----
I am not a tragic heroine. My life hasn't really been touched by tragedy. My
father is not involved in some illegal, unseemly enterprise. My mother has not died, or
whored, or anything so spectacularly interesting. They live a simple life in a middle-
class suburb of Junon. My dad is a Shinra employee, but he is an accountant. He
doesn't fight. He doesn't kill.
That is my job.
My mother is a housewife. She is the most gentle woman you would ever
meet, her looks the splitting image of myself. She cooks the best food on this side of
the continent, and all the Shinra employees who work with my father know it. They are
both supportive, but I am the black sheep of the family. They love me, but they don't
understand. They never can understand. I hope they never do understand what it is
like to be a professional lackey who kills for a super-powerful company that runs the
planet.
Because my life had been relatively normal, I had not expected to meet
someone who completely threw me off balance. I figured I would either die in my
career or meet someone nice, settle down, have a few kids, and go out and fight for
whoever I was working for at the time while my family was asleep. I had such naive
perceptions of the world. True love was barely beyond the next hill, easy to see
and, so I thought, in my grasp. All it took was a chance.
I'd been taking chances all my life, with the innocent trust that nothing would
happen to *me*. So I did it again. I was a fool. But the foolish are ruled by the fools
who hire them, and I was no different than the rest. The Turks were the powerful
few, but even we were powerless against the faceless mob that was Shinra Inc itself.
Not even Rufus Shinra had all that power.
So we were preparing to go to the Mythril mines.
I was not sure what I was expecting from my first mission. I had only been
with the Turks for a week; surely I hadn't expected them to immediately adopt me into
their ranks. But I had not expected the cold way Rude regarded our mission.
"You must understand," he told me once, while we were counting all our
materia and placing it in coloured bags based on category, "that you are nothing more
than a fancy hired killer. You wear a pretty blue suit and look neat and business-
like, but in reality you aren't anything but a killer. Remember that." My heart wanted
to cry out that I was more than that, but I said nothing. I never said anything. My
heart seemed to wonder how a young woman like myself had turned ruthless like this,
my innocence trapped in a mask of toughness and my heart lied to and played like an
instrument. I myself didn't understand it at all, but back then, I didn't try to, either.
It is not a hired assassin's job to ask questions.
We silence those who ask.
The materia was ready, the weapons cleaned and prepared, and even the fat
brute of a man Heidegger hadn't found any errors in our pre-mission plans, to even
Tseng's shock. Tseng, stoic and emotionless, had raised an eyebrow at the large man
as he'd grunted approval. I sometimes wondered what the common citizens of Midgar
would have thought had they known who the Turks *really* were. A lunatic with red hair.
A large bulky man who never removed his sunglasses. An emotionless god. And me,
the woman, the innocent, the charmer. The eager one. The young one.
Reno never fooled anyone. He acted young, but he had aged beyond his years.
His childish behavior was a cover for stronger, more dangerous emotions. I knew he had
grown up in the slums; beyond that, his past was a mystery even to me. The man was
an enigma, but not quite as large an enigma as Tseng.
Tseng. I had discovered things about Rude and Reno, due to a little
research into Shinra's computer network, but nothing about the Wutan man other than
he was from Wutai and that he was a good ten years older than me. I wanted to know
more, but Tseng stayed in his shell. He scared me more than anyone else ever had
before, and after a few times of trying to get to know him, I started to avoid him.
The night before our expedition to the Mythril Mines to catch up with the
fleeing rebels, I worked late into the night, typing up the remaining details to leave with
Reno and Heidegger. The office was empty; it was nearly midnight, and all sane Shinra
execs (and other workers, for that matter) had left long ago. My single light on my desk
burned into the flaming darkness, keeping away the demons that darkness brought
with it. Demons that called like transparent angels and tempted.
I opened my blinds to the night sky, a sky I never really saw from my
apartment, despite it being on the upper plate. The large picture window looked upon
the sky, lit up by billions of office buildings in Midgar, and the moon glowing brightly
above them all, covered by the filmy silk of a single cloud. The stars seemed to dance
around it, like tiny ice sculptures, all careening in to create a masterpiece of perfection.
The air seemed chilled, cold, and magical, as if all the Mako of the world was captured
within its grasp. It captivated me.
My mind has always been like that of a small child; easily amused by pretty
things. Bangles and bracelets amuse me. But the sky...a sky where I could see the
moon. I hadn't seen her in so long...
"Even in Midgar the stars shine," a smooth, silken voice rang out behind me.
I turned to see Tseng, standing in the doorway, the moon reflected in his dark, husky
eyes. He looked like a lost soul, a ghost of the past, and my heart gave a painful skip.
"I thought you left a-ages ago, sir," I said formally, half-bowing my head to
acknowledge him. He shook his head.
"There is no need to be formal, Elena," he replied. "It is just you, I, and the
stars here. There is no one to tell that Elena of the Turks doesn't respect her superiors."
I swallowed hard and nodded, not trusting my voice anymore. The stars and the moon.
The stars may be stark truth, laid out against the backdrop of the sky. But who knew
what the moon could conceal in her cloudy tresses?
"The stars are like cold mirrors," I whispered, not knowing where the
comparison had come from but knowing that it felt right. "They burn. They see through
me, interrogate me."
He grinned slightly. "And that, Elena-san, is why there are blinds in this office.
Many a Turk could not appreciate the prying eyes of the stars. They know all." He
turned to go. "You are doing good work. You make a good Turk." He paused for a moment.
"I wish for you to meet in my office an hour before we leave for the area around the Mythril
Mines. I have some special last-minute instructions for you and Rude." He smiled at
something, slightly. His own private joke, perhaps.
Oh, how I loved him at this moment. He was so deep, so true, and seemed
so pure, like he'd never hurt me, or anyone else. An assassin with innocence. So like
myself. And so not. For Tseng had a ruthlessness that even I did not. The coldness in
his eyes could be attributed to anything but innocence. No, Tseng was as cold and
ruthless as rumored. But for tonight, he was mine, and as he was mine, he was everything
a man should be.
"Shall you lower the blinds, Elena?" he asked me softly. Though his tone was
mild, I sensed a challenge in the words, and answered them with a challenge of my own.
"No, sir. I do not mind feeling naked in front of the stars. I have nothing to
hide." I looked him firmly in the eyes, resisting the urge to lower my head and stare at my
feet like a gawky teenager. I was past that stage.
He smiled slightly, turned a bit, and with a sigh of air, was gone.
It seemed as if the stars themselves wept.
I have a flair for the dramatic, it seems. This was not meant to be anything more
than a narrative of my life with the Turks, and my love for their stunning leader. But it has
gone past that already; it is an insight into my character as well, and as such, I cannot
seem to comprehend where I am going with this. I have never understood myself. The belief
that my identity laid outside my grasp had been implanted in my head since I had entered
military school at Shinra.
That day, it started as cold as the stars the night before had been. I awoke
early despite my late night, my alarm ringing in my ears. The covers were unnaturally
warm and I did not want to leave my cocoon of comfort. I didn't want to face the truth.
That today, I might have to kill. The anticipation of killing always made me sick. The
killing itself I enjoyed as much as the next Turk, the power rush it gave me. I am a
bloodthirsty angel, a demonic danger. It was the anticipation I couldn't stand.
As I took a shower, the sins of my life seeming to wash off with the water.
I dressed in my neatly pressed blue suit, straightening the tie and slipping into the
flared pants and the black shoes. My uniform wasn't any different than Reno's or Rude's
except it accented certain parts of a woman that men's suits did not. I combed my hair
around my face in my usual style, a small strand of a bang hanging down in front of my
eyes. This beautiful blond was ready for her job.
My first assignment as a Turk.
I reached Shinra headquarters at half past eight, the place already bustling
with the usual hustle of a busy day. The door guards swallowed nervously as they looked
at my pass before letting me into the building, eyeing my blue Turks uniform the whole
way. And yet I was cheerful, unnaturally cheerful. I pressed the button, humming a cheery
little ditty in my head, getting odd looks from random passerby's. I didn't care. Yesterday
it had been Tseng, me, and the stars. Today I would see him again.
I reached the 66th floor quickly, before my eight-thirty appointment with Tseng.
Rude came bustling out the door promptly at eight-twenty and nodded to me, grunting in his
usual style. I nodded back, fighting a smile. Sometimes I feared that the man would
clobber me. And then Tseng's voice rang out,
"Come in."
My heart leapt, and in a surge of emotion, I reached for the doorknob, opened
the door, and walked in. I hoped Tseng couldn't smell fear. I certainly reeked of it at
the moment.
Tseng sat at his desk, hands folded across the top, when I entered. As
usual, my heart tightened in my chest and tears came to my eyes. I quickly suppressed
my emotions; they were a weakness, and a weakness I did not need Tseng to see. His
dark eyes bored into mine and my heart skipped.
"Sit down, Elena," he said, no hint of emotion on his face. I swallowed and
seated myself, sensing doom on his mind.
We would have to kill today.
The thought twisted in my head, seemed to laugh at me. An assassin who
hated the lead-up to killing. I was an anomaly. A strange girl with no sense, no finesse,
and most importantly, an innocent, childish demeanor. I could almost feel Tseng
thinking that I was a little girl. But then again, I was.
"Sir?" I inquired as he remained silent, fingers drumming on the desk as if he
was impatient. His nails were perfect, just like the rest of him, neatly manicured and
kept short and clean. I wondered if Shinra paid for his nail job along with his hair, his
office, and his whole life. What kind of a life could that possibly be? If Shinra took
away its support...Tseng would be helpless. His eyes flickered dangerously and he began.
"We have received new instructions. Sephiroth, too, has been reported near
the Mythril Mines. A dead Zolom on a forked stick was at the entrance. Now we go to
hunt Sephiroth as well." My blood went cold and my mind spun. Sephiroth.
Shinra's enigma. Shinra's superweapon.
Shinra's mistake.
"They feel we Turks are capable of dealing with Sephiroth? And isn't he dead
anyway?" I asked, my panic obvious as my voice rose in pitch. Tseng raised an eyebrow
at me, obviously not expecting this sort of reaction. I supposed he was learning more
and more about the woman he had hired every day, some things I probably wouldn't want
him to know.
"He is not dead. And we are not after him to kill him; We are to follow, and
observe. To spy. We are Turks, you know. We *do* spy." I nodded. The hint of
amusement in his voice seemed to strike a chord within me. A rather large and delicate
chord. I amused him. My panic amused him, my life amused him. A flash of anger rose
and fell just as fast, as I realized that it was this man's job to see through people.
Damn it all. I wanted to put up a wall. While feeling naked in front of the
stars did not bother me, feeling naked in front of Tseng did.
"Yes, sir, I will do well," I promised, making to stand up from my chair, but one
elegant, tanned hand reached out and stopped me. Those damn nails of his...
And then, this wonderful man killed all my dreams. He reached into his desk,
pulled out a picture, and held it up so that I could see. I grabbed it and held it, my
hands shaking nervously as I took it all in. It held a woman, hair a soft brown hue, eyes
the color of clover on a spring day in the fields outside of Midgar. She held an innocence
that even I didn't have. She was...beautiful.
"Who is she?" I whispered, fearing the answer. I did not want to feel a flash of
jealousy, of hurt.
"One of the rebels. Her name is Aeris Gainsborough, and you are not to touch
her or hurt her in any way." His eyes were stern and unforgiving. Dark. And I could
not help but blurt out,
"You love her, sir?" His eyes narrowed.
"She is the only one who can defeat Sephiroth. That is enough. You are
dismissed." I stood, exited quietly. I had pushed too far, tried to pry too far into a
life that did not concern me. Tseng's very existence outside of work did not concern me.
Even if he did not love her, it had been none of my business to ask. I had overstepped
the boundaries of employer and employee. I could have kicked myself.
Inside, my heart cried.
He had always been blind. Always. He never saw what was right at his
fingertips, who loved him more than life itself. I cried alone, enduring torment in my
dreams, then awakening like nothing was wrong. The dawn held me captive as the shower
washed away my tears, and the streets of Midgar silenced the thumping of my heart. I
retreated into another reality in my dreams, a reality where Tseng was nothing but a
figment of my imagination, and one I could manipulate. A wish all women want.
But that came later. It was the heart's sad sigh of disappointment that struck
me now. Not the bitter triumph of heartbreak, not the all-encompassing wave of defeat
that came with rejection. Just disappointment. Of course. A man like Tseng *would* be
in love with another. It was stupid to think otherwise.
I am a stupid girl, though.
The copter left promptly at noon, Rude, Tseng, and I inside enjoyed a cold chocobo
lunch on dark wheat bread from the other continent. It was a delicacy that Rufus Shinra
had granted us for doing his ambitious bidding. In some sense, the new president and I
had much in common. Both of us were turning around unbelievable odds to achieve
our goals. As I ate rather sloppily, I watched Tseng daintily eat his own sandwich. The
man was perfection.
"Well Rude, I bet we'll kick those AVALANCHE rebels from here to Junon and
back and wipe the floor with them!" I said cheerfully, keeping up with the babble to hide
my hurt. I couldn't let Tseng know that telling me of Aeris had pinched me. "And with
Tseng here, nothing can go wrong! It's a shame Reno couldn't come. But oh, chasing
Sephiroth; what an opportunity! I hope I'm up to it..." I went on and on. After awhile
even I stopped paying attention to my own incessant babble. There was no point to it except
to keep the silence in the copter from growing too large, from swallowing me whole
without any chance of escape.
"Elena, can the optimism," Tseng told me. "We're on a mission, not a field
trip to the zoo." After that, I tried to contain my "excitement" a little better, and I
tried to ignore the hurt that his comment had caused in me.
He didn't even realize...
Acting like a ditz has been my defense mechanism since before I can remember.
When I was a little girl, I used to tilt my head to the side and stare at anyone who
confused or hurt me with the widest blue eyes, until they forgot what they were saying. As
I grew older, before I entered the academy, boys turned into the primary targets of my ditzy
attitude. If one hurt me, Elena the smart girl who would go to Shinra's military academy
would suddenly becoming unendingly cheerful, innocent, bright, and chatty. It annoyed
the hell out of my superiors at the military school once I finally enrolled.
It wasn't like I could escape it. It was just one of those things, like biting
nails or grinding teeth. Mine was just a bit more unique. It suited me.
The copter ride was long and tiring, and Tseng and Rude weren't inclined to
talking. As the hour moved into two, I amused myself by imagining exactly what it
would be like to have Tseng love me. To have someone to hold me, to have someone
hug me and tell me that everything was going to be all right. To have someone to go
to when tears flowed, to have someone who I could reveal my *real* emotions to.
But I didn't. Not yet. The copter bumped and I flew out of my seat, cursing
my seatbelt. I realized with embarrassment that I'd landed in Tseng's lap. He looked
down at me, raised an eyebrow, and to my chagrin I turned bright red and quickly
climbed away from him.
"Sorry, sir!" I apologized profusely, quickly re-fastening my seatbelt before
another such bump, but in that small amount of time, I'd come to a decision. The
decision that would change my life forever.
I would be the best Turk ever. I would do it proudly and with honor, and so
well that even Tseng would come before me with love and respect in his eyes.
I would win him.
...to be continued...
In chapter 3: they'll (hopefully) finally reach the Mythril Mines. My next time in Chapter 1 was really optimistic as I didn't really achieve ANY of it in this chapter...ah well :P. R and R please! ^_-
