. : C h a p t e r - 1 : . A Cold Cup, A Cold Heart
Tick, tock, tick, tock... Phyllis feathered through an entertainment magazine as the hands on the clock passed 1:30 AM. She had missed Saturday Flight Live, Late Flight, AND her midnight soaps.
Typical.
Her Powderpuff Blue #42 eyelids began to droop, indicating that it was time for another swig of her midnight oil. The ebony coffee quivered in the cup as she brought it to her lips. Anticipation of the savory hot fuel danced on her bill.
In an instant, she set down her cup and closed her eyes tightly, spraying coffee everywhere. "Pppphtah! Cold." She mumbled, quite disgruntled. She was about to--with visible reluctance--reach for the old mop and bucket in the corner when the bell above the door sang its eerily cheerful song.
"Hello? Is anyone here, slacker?" A round eye and pink fur peeked through a crack in the door, illuminated by the light from inside.
Phyllis tried the Ignore technique, hoping that whoever it was would just go away and wait until Pelly's shift to send their petty letter. But that seemed to make it worse. The door swung open...
...and in walked Peanut. What is SHE doing here, and at this hour? "Hello, this is the Town Post Office. What do you want??"
"I need to mail a letter, slacker." The pink squirrel scurried over to the counter, her fluffy pink tail bouncing cutely behind her. From out of Peanut's pockets came the most disgusting thing Phyllis had ever seen (Yes, even worse than Mayor Tortimer's feet!). It was a pink envelope with white lace trim, and glitter all over it! The flap was sealed with a heart shaped sticker, and the whole thing was consumed by a cloud of sweet perfume.
Phyllis nearly gagged. She grabbed a tissue from the box on the counter and snatched the envelope quickly to avoid further contamination. "HEY! Watch it! That letter needs to get to him in PERFECT condition, or your boss will be hearing form me...slacker!" Peanut shouted in her shrill voice. For an instant, Phyllis thought she saw a scowl perched on the perfect powder pink face. The pelican tossed the letter in the bag apathetically.
Peanut quickly turned about, and stomped out the door. A sharp "...slacker..." could be heard just before the door clicked shut. Then, the sweet sound of silence.
But, Phyllis couldn't help but be curious about the letter...after a few suspense-building hours she carefully fished it back out of the bag and flipped it over. "To Snake" was written in swirly purple pen. Phyllis slipped her handy letter opener under the flap, and pried the envelope open with barely a sound. She unfolded the pink sakura-print paper, which unleashed another cloud of perfume. Through more gags and watery eyes, Phyllis read:
"My Dearest Snake:
I have thought about you every day
since your last visit.
Your smile gives me butterflies! My
friendship for you burns
with the intensity of a thousand
suns...or something.
We should, like, totally, be best friends
forever!
Call me! Peanut"
Attached to the letter was a pickup receipt for a lovely phone. Also pink.
Ha, this is just TOO rich!! Well, it just so happened that Peanut was on Phyllis' personal hit list, and that there was a stack of sakura-print paper on hand in the back room. After braving the dark and the dust, Phyllis emerged with the paper...and the new letter.
"Snake!
Take off your shoes next time, bud,
you tracked
mud all over my carpet!
And you don't--ever--wear brown and black
TOGETHER.
Stay away from my toilet, too! That took HOURS to get
out!
-Peanut, who hates you"
The pink pelican cackled at her sinister plan. Him? Call YOU? Over my dead body! She took out the receipt and slipped the new letter into the envelope. Phyllis could use a new phone anyway.
Amidst her cackle, Phyllis barely heard Copper walking in.
"What's so funny, Miss Phyllis?" He always called her Miss Phyllis. "I see you're busy burning the midnight oil. Or, perhaps you've got a little crime on the mind tonight!? Ha, cop joke, don't you worry. I'm here following up on a cold case..." Does this guy EVER shut up? "...on a theft in nearby Boondox..." I mean, seriously, doesn't he have anything better to do? "...and an attempted murder..."
Phyllis froze. "Attempted murder?" She repeated softly, hesitating between words.
"ARE YOU WITHOLDING INFORMATION, MISS PHYLLIS!? SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO...GET OFF YOUR CHEST??" Copper put his muzzle right in front of Phyllis' bill, leaning in close.
Unphased by shouting, Phyllis put her wings on her hips and leaned in, shouting back, "ARE YOU GOING TO MAIL SOMETHING? OR JUST STAND THERE AND GIVE ME ANOTHER SHOWER?"
It was Copper's turn to freeze.
An added gesture got the point across quite clearly. "If you don't have anything to mail, there's the--"
"Oh, look at the time! I must be going. Stay on the right side of the law, Miss Phyllis. I've got my eye on you." Copper calmly stated, condoling her impudence.
And I've got my eye on this magazine. Now, scram!
Copper saluted her, then marched out of the door, his claws clicking on the wood floor. Just then, Phyllis heard a sweet, kind voice outside, humming a cheery tune. 5 AM already?
Pelly walked in, hanging up her coat and fixing her bow in front of the small mirror by the door. Her white feathers were, as usual, perfect and bright white. Her makeup was perfect, her smile pleasant. Her coffee warm. Her engagement ring gleamed vividly in the first ray of sunlight. "Why, good morning, dear Phyllis! Busy night?"
Phyllis only grunted.
"You look like you could use a good night's rest," Pelly's angelic voice echoed in the high rafters of the lobby. "While I was heading to work today, I ran into Copper. Strange, he doesn't usually leave the Police Station, but he said he was on an important assignment, investigating an attemped murd--"
"DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO HEAR YOU SQUAWKING IN THE MORNING!?" Phyllis interrupted. "Leave me alone." The pink pelican briskly turned her back to her sister, gathering her things.
"Alright, Phyllis. Sleep well." Pelly replied, still with radiant, refined grace.
Phyllis let out a long sigh. It had been almost five years since she had left Boondox, left her old life. She shrugged it off, dropping the sabotaged letter into the mailbag with a fresh, sly grin. She idly waved a wing at Pelly as she closed the door.
Revenge is sweet.
