OK-this story doesn't have a specific pairing- yet- but you might be able to tell from this chapter that I do ship Jack/Gwen (a little). But I think each character will have a chapter, so it was just Gwen's turn. Please review!
The last time he had seen her, she had been six months pregnant, so naturally the first thing he noticed was that she was free of any traces of a pregnancy; if anything, she was thinner than before. She captivated him, as he took in every detail. She wore a white camisole, with lace around the hem, and a brown leather jacket. Her jeans were simple and he could see her black boots. She wore a necklace that seemed familiar; a silver chain with small charms. Every inch of her seemed to be soaked, and her hair was dark with the water- it looked even darker against her pale skin.
A moment passed, as Gwen looked right at the spot where Jack stood, as if she could see him. A wave of emotions flooded through his weary body. The lift worked, it still had the power to hide the person that stood up in- yet why was she staring at him, with a look of disbelief clear on her features?
Jack swallowed and stepped forwards off the slab of rock. Gwen's eyes became wide and she pressed her hand over her mouth in disbelief.
"Jack!" She cried and moved as if she were going to embrace him, before stopping awkwardly. The look on her face made it plain that she was not sure whether he was real, or just a fragmented memory.
"It's me Gwen. It's me." He said, and the words hung in the air and left him feeling foolish. He extended a hand, and rested it on her forearm, feeling the wet leather of her jacket and fighting the urge to feel her skin; he had proved he was real, he was here, but an irrational fear gripped him- was she real? Was she the dream? Moving closer, he ran his hand down her arm and gently held hers, feeling the warm skin brushing against his. It was all so familiar, and in a second, he was back, walking past the cells in the Hub, talking to her, touching her…
Gwen watched his face, barely registering his actions until she felt his skin on hers; automatically, she squeezed his fingers, interlocked them tightly as if she was scared he would flee. Jack wondered if she was scared of him being here. She was one of the few people left that had seen the extent of his actions, seen what he could do. Did she fear him, just a little?
He opened his mouth to speak, but froze. He had no words.
Gwen watched him the whole time.
"Jack…"She said again, and pulled him into a hug, her hands on his back. Her hands curled into fists as she held the soaking material of his coat, pulling him even closer. It took a second or so, but Jack responded, slowly. He buried his hands in her hair and held her just as tightly, as if he couldn't bear to let her go. She smelt so familiar, of strawberry and apple shampoo, of musk, of memories that haunted him- good memories, mingling with the bad.
They took refuge in a nearby café, walking there slowly and silently, arms linked. Gwen was still shocked, still scared that he would fade away, or just leave. A feeling of knowing apprehension began to trickle into her mind, as they sat at a table in a quiet corner near a radiator. They ordered coffee- or rather, she did. Jack sat silently, looking at her, or staring down at his hands. His silence didn't make her feel any better. As the seconds passed she almost began to dread how this conversation was going to pan out.
The coffees arrived and Gwen held the steaming cup in her hands, to warm up the icy skin. Jack continued to watch her, but it was with a slightly more relaxed air, like seeing her do something so trivial, so typically human made him feel a little better.
Gwen sipped her drink, and Jack followed her example. She swallowed and paused for a moment.
"Nowhere near as good as Ianto's." She said quietly, so that only Jack could hear her. She set her cup down on the table and looked up at him nervously.
Jack smiled and took another sip. "He used to get so…mad when we bought coffee from Starbucks."
"He preferred buying it for us." Gwen smiled. Jack, lost in memories, gave a half grin.
"Never made any sense to me, that he would criticise us for buying it, but had no problem buying it for us. Sometimes I think…" His sentence trailed off.
"Jack-" Gwen began quietly, but he must have heard something in her voice that alarmed him, because he snapped out of his trance- like state and looked at her.
"Don't." It was a simple enough request but Gwen was desperate to continue, to ask him all the questions that had plagued her over the last six months. She wanted to know everything, and as usual, he wouldn't tell her. But his pleading eyes banished her inquisitive nature and she nodded slightly.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking their coffees. After he had drained the last of his drink, Gwen tried again.
"Jack. Please, talk to me." The hurt in her voice made Jack feel selfish. He reached over and took her hand.
"I've been…travelling. Shaking the dirt of my shoes, remember?" She nodded.
"I've seen…so much. So many things Gwen. I've travelled from one side of the galaxy to the other. I just…I can't explain how it was. So terrible, so beautiful…"He looked up into her eyes ."So beautiful."
"But you came back." She pointed out. She bit her lip. "Why?"
"I …" Jack began his sentence, then stopped and changed his mind.
"There are some things I need to do."
Gwen was disappointed with his lack of elaboration. "Oh." Jack noticed and squeezed her hand. Running his thumb over her fingers, he paused and held her hand up between them.
"No wedding ring." Jack asked, but his tone revealed that it was more of a question than a statement. For the briefest second she considered shaking away his question, or telling his something basic and simple; she couldn't. She could never keep anything from Jack successfully.
"Things aren't going to well with me and Rhys." She told him carefully.
He waited silently. "Last time I saw you, you were both fine. Better than fine." He froze, and realisation crashed down on him like a ton of bricks. "The baby…?" He asked tentatively, and a stab of guilt pierced him as a tear spilled down Gwen's cheeks. Her face remained calm and impassive but she pulled her hands away from his and clutched them together.
"Still-born." Gwen told him quietly. "Jack Ianto Williams." It was simple, but it was enough. Jack clutched her hand and wiped away the tears from her face. No words were spoken; no words were needed. In that time, any feelings of self-hatred he had endured over the last few months doubled. How could he have left her? What kind of person could do that?
"You're leaving again, aren't you?"
Jack turned to look at her, as she tucked her hair behind her ears as the wind blew against them. The rain had stopped a few hours ago- they were standing overlooking the bay, the air colder now as the smudges sky darkened with the setting of the sun.
Jack slid his arm around her shoulders carefully.
"Yeah."
Gwen sighed and swallowed. The wind whipped through her care and Jack watched her from his side-on angle intently.
"Are you coming back?" She asked lightly. Am I going to see you again?
"I don't know, Gwen." he answered quietly. She nodded. Tears were spilling down her face.
" Do you want me to stay? Just until sunrise?" He asked. His offer was truly genuine, not just a means to appease his conscience. He couldn't stay forever, but he could stay for tonight if she wanted.
"A million shadows of human emotion." Gwen echoed. She noticed the confused look he gave her and shivered. "Sorry. "
"I'll be fine, Jack. Rhys'll be back from work soon."
"Talk to him," Jack told her, "Everything will be ok. I promise."
Gwen struggled as if she were going to speak, then leaned into him, resting her head in the crook of his neck. She breathed in his smell and closed her eyes tightly, committing his scent to memory. A single tear ran down her pale cheeks, unnoticed by Jack, who pulled her closer to him.
And then the time came for them to part, as they pulled away for one last time. For one last time, Gwen looked him up and down. And then they walked. They passed the Plass, walked past the tourist office, and went along until they reached the same spot Jack had stood in hours earlier.
Words were pointless. Silently, Jack leaned down and pressed a light kiss against her lips, pulling away incredibly slowly, and hesitating, looking into her eyes. He turned and walked a few metres away, determined not to look back at her-
"Jack."
He turned slowly. Gwen stood, mascara trails down her cheeks as she cried.
"It wasn't your fault," She told him, and he could hear a note of pleading in her voice, begging him to believe her. " You had to. It wasn't your fault."
He averted his eyes from hers and nodded. Turning, he swallowed, and continued to walk. Gwen watched as he walked, and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, he was gone.
His visit to Gwen had made him yet more determined. They hadn't talked properly; he was grieving and so was she. The guilt he felt over her loss made his heart break. He wanted to stay with her, he wanted to make everything better. He had seen ,the look in her eyes; the dull sadness that told him that something inside her was broken. She was all he had left of Torchwood, and he hated the fact that he could hardly bare to even look at her. She reminded him too much of what he had lost. He wondered if it was the same for her. She had lost her baby, her child- Jack Ianto Williams. He wondered if she had ever even held him, and it hurt too much to even think about what her reaction must have been like when she hadn't heard the babies cry, when she had realised her baby boy was dead.
He wanted to stay, to be able to look at her every day and not feel the overwhelming pain he felt now.
And she had been wrong. Because it was his fault, all of it. But he could fix it…
No. Not yet. There was more to do, more to see.
For him to get his chance to make everything better, he needed to travel some more. He needed to go back, not forwards- but not yet. There was somebody else in this year he needed to see.
