A/N Thank you so much for all the amazing feedback to this story. Every review, every PM, every comment – all very much appreciated.

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"Goodnight Deeks." Kensi had been right all those months ago. It was nice to have someone to say goodnight to; she only wished she could say it whilst looking into her Partner's eyes rather than to the empty space surrounding her as she lay, wriggling to get comfortable, on her small bunk inside a tent in an undisclosed location in Afghanistan.

Kensi had been alone for many years. She had kept people at arm's length, even those who cared about her, spent time on her own including birthdays and Christmas, but she had not felt this lonely since her Father died. She missed Deeks. She knew it wasn't simply because she was tired or cold or bored or unclear about her mission objectives or away from her mother and friends. She missed Deeks. She missed his kindness and patience, his protection and dependability, his jokes and chatter, his smile, his laugh, everything. She just missed him.

A woman's voice from outside the tent disturbed her reverie. "Kensi, are you asleep?"

"Rachel? No, I'm just about to get an early night. You ok? Come in." Although Rachel Harris hadn't exactly welcomed Kensi with open arms, she had thawed towards her since realising she wasn't about to be replaced. Besides, Kensi was glad for any company that may distract her from the abject loneliness she was currently experiencing.

"I was on my way to bed too. Noticed that you hadn't picked up a parcel that arrived for you today. Thought it might be important so I decided to drop it in as I went by."

"A parcel? For me?" Kensi took it from Rachel's outstretched hands and set it beside her on the blanket, barely glancing at it as she looked at Rachel for further information.

"Correct. Sent urgently on the orders of Hetty Lange apparently. As I said, assumed it was important."

"Oh, ok. I see. I wonder what Hetty would need to send me?"

"There's an envelope stuck on the top, I expect it'll contain the details you need. Alternatively you can always open it, you know, open the box."

Kensi couldn't help her lips twitching into a smile as she heard Rachel's words, as she recalled saying something very similar after catching Deeks shaking the box she had given him.

"Something funny?" queried Rachel, looking puzzled.

"No, nothing. Just thinking of home."

"Ok then." Rachel nodded abruptly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Night. Thanks."

Kensi watched as Rachel exited the tent before turning her attention to the box lying in front of her. As she looked at it properly for the first time her breath caught in her throat and her heart began beating faster than she'd ever thought it could as she realised who had scrawled Special Agent Kensi Blye on the envelope. It wasn't Hetty. It was most definitely Deeks' writing.

Deeks had sent her a parcel? She chuckled quietly. "He's given me a box? Oh, he's given me a box." Her happiness ended abruptly and the smile on her face was replaced by a frown as her anxieties took over. What was in the box? What was in the envelope? She considered putting the box on the floor, getting back into bed and waiting until morning to decide when or whether to open it. However, patience wasn't Kensi's greatest virtue and despite her nerves she concluded that she should at least open the letter tonight. "I don't have to open the box. But he's gone to the trouble of sending me a parcel so the least I can do is read what he has to say. How bad can it be, right? If he had something dreadful to say he wouldn't send a gift as well, surely? Unless he's trying to soften the blow? Maybe he's fed up waiting for me to return from this mission? Perhaps he thinks I chose to leave without saying goodbye?" Kensi's panic started to run wild before she pulled herself up sharply. "Don't be silly. Just open the envelope. At least then you'll know."

She ripped the letter from the top of the box and, placing her thumb in the tiny opening at the corner of the envelope, steadily worked her way along the crease. She slowly removed the sheet from inside, smoothing out the wrinkles against her thigh and smiled as she saw Deeks' scruffy writing covering the page. Kensi raised the paper to her face, inhaling deeply, only to feel supreme dissatisfaction on discovering no trace of his scent. She rolled her eyes. "What were you thinking? That the smell of sunscreen, sand and the ocean would survive an 8,000 mile trip from Los Angeles to Afghanistan? Idiot." She lowered her eyes, blinked away the moisture gathering in them and swallowed her apprehension. "Ok, now read it."

Hey Kens

I did it. I finally did it. I opened the box! And you were right. It was everything I always wanted. How could you possibly have known what that was, all those months ago? I should never have considered you getting it wrong, not for a second.

It seems only fair that I tell you how much it meant to me. When I opened the box I was relieved, touched, emotional, overwhelmed. But not really about the contents. The gift itself is all kinds of fantastic, of course it is. But essentially it is expendable. The feeling it gave me, however, is priceless and will remain with me forever. I now know without doubt I'm cared about and valued. That I matter to someone. I haven't had that in a very long time. And the most amazing part of it all is the person who cares about me and values me and I matter to, is you.

Thank you seems so inadequate. We both know I'm better with actions than words so hurry back to me and I promise I will do whatever is necessary to make you feel the same, however long it takes.

In the meantime, here is something for you. Your very own box! I'm hoping that it may just be what you've always wanted, more than anything else in the world. So, how about it Kensalina? What's in the box?! Open it and find out.

You asked me to be patient and as soon as you're home, I will be, I promise. You can set the pace for 'our thing' and we'll move as slowly as you want. But right at this moment I need to tell you that I miss you. A lot. And I'm lonely without you. Being so far apart is slowly driving me crazy. I think about you every day and cannot wait to see you, touch you, hold you. I wanted to spend Christmas together, to make new memories. Without you it will be meaningless, just another day.

After you come back, we can totally pretend I didn't write those things but I wanted to confess them now so that if you're missing me too, reading this may bring you some comfort. You're not there alone, Kens. I'm with you every step of the way. Even though you don't see me, I'm there. In your head and in your heart.

Stay safe. Please. And open the box!

Yours, always.

Deeks x

A loud sniffle resonated through the tent as a solitary tear trickled down Kensi's cheek, past her chin and dripped onto the letter held in her motionless hands. As she wiped her eyes a look of relief settled on her face. He had opened the box, at last. He had liked the present and more importantly he had appreciated the significance of her gift. He had recognised what she had been trying to tell him without her having to put it into words. Because he understood her, them, their thing.

Kensi re-read his letter. He had written exactly what he meant. He missed her, was thinking about her. She wondered if the fact that she was happy about that made her not a very nice person. "Not that I want him to be unhappy, of course not, but I am glad he misses me like I miss him."

She was a little surprised that she was more comforted than scared at reading his words. "Maybe it's easier to read those things than listen to him tell me?" This way there was no pressure to respond, to find the right reply. She didn't have to watch his confidence falter as she stuttered for the best words to express her feelings or see the apprehension in his eyes, fearing that he'd said the wrong thing, pushed too far, moved too fast. She didn't have to worry that her reaction would be inadequate or that she would hurt him by failing to say what he wanted to hear. Maybe it was purely because she felt so alone, miles from home, from him, and she was grateful to know he shared those sentiments. Whatever the reason, she was pleased he had found the courage to write down his feelings in a letter and delighted that he had somehow persuaded Hetty to send it to her. "How on earth did he do that? The mission is classified…"

"And now I also have a box." Kensi couldn't help it; her mouth pulled up slightly at the corners as she considered the neatly wrapped parcel sitting in front of her on the bed. "He's given me a box!"

"Touché." She said aloud to herself. "Did I use that right…?"

Her thoughts headed swiftly into a debate about whether to open the box – tonight, tomorrow, some other undefined time, ever. The pros and cons of opening the box and when best to do it whirled through her mind. If she was totally honest, she wanted to do it now, curiosity was getting the better of her. How could she possibly go to sleep knowing there was an unopened gift from Deeks under her bunk, just waiting to be opened? However, once it was open she would know for certain, as soon as she saw the contents of the box, if he really understood what she wanted more than anything else in the world. Should she risk her heart experiencing such a devastating disappointment if he had got it wrong? Was now the right time, when she was already in such an emotional and vulnerable state? Could she do it? "Am I brave enough?"