The Face of Betrayal
Chapter 2: Wormtail's Story
Disclaimer: See chapter 1
It was decided that Harry would stay in the infirmary for the last few days of term so that he could avoid all the crowds and well-wishers. For the first time Harry Potter was actually a willing patient of the stern hospital matron. Since he was not, of course, really injured he was allowed visitors as he wished which he restricted to Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Cedric among the students. The adults could, of course, come and go as they pleased. His second day in the infirmary he was surprised to be visited by the one professor who always hated him. Professor Snape walked stiffly into the infirmary and looked around for Potter. He found him in the window seat looking over the grounds. "May I speak with you Mr. Potter?" The stern man asked quite uncomfortably, but without malice in his voice.
Harry turned to him in surprise and nodded. "While you will get no apology from me since I did what needed to be done, I do want to explain my treatment of you over the years. We knew that Voldemort was not completely gone and while the majority of my spying duties ended when you banished him, I still had to keep up appearances in case I had to take up spying again. No one could see anything except for hatred between us."
"Why couldn't you have just told me that. Gave me a detention or something and explained. I would have understood." Harry said with some bitterness, but careful not to be too insolent lest the potions master return to his previous manner.
"There was no guarantee at 11 years old that you could be discreet enough nor be a good enough actor for all the hate and distrust you have shown me over the years. That had to be genuine. While it is true that I have no measure of affection for you given your parentage, house, and disregard for the rules, now that the charade has ended, I am able to treat you and all other students equally. I look forward to the cessation of hostilities." He said curtly and turned to walk out robes billowing behind him.
Harry chuckled as the door closed. "I wish I knew how he does that," He muttered.
"Don't we all, cub, don't we all." Remus said wistfully from the doorway. At that point an owl flew through the window and held his leg out with a letter to Harry.
My Dearest Harry,
I'm sure you are confused by the events of yesterday and would like to meet you and those of your choice to explain my actions over the years. I would like to request that Padfoot and Moony be there as well though of course. They deserve an explanation as much as you do. I know I am in no position to make demands and will understand if you will always hate me, but know that I love you cub. Always have and always will. Your owl will be able to find me to arrange a time and place to meet. I would prefer to meet in the shrieking shack, but will meet anywhere you wish.
Love always, Wormtail
Remus walked over and sat next to Harry on the window seat after he had finished reading the letter aloud and and placed a hand on his knee. "How are you feeling?"
"Overwhealmed"
"That's completely understandable. It's a lot to take in and with too many unanswered questions. We need to know what Wormtail was thinking. Why he did what he did. He has always responded well to you. I would like the chance to hear his explanation." When Harry looked up nervously Remus continued. "I understand if it is difficult for you, but I think you deserve those answers as much as the rest of us. We all need the closure so that we can truly put this experience behind us. Just think about it cub, okay?"
Harry nodded and thought for a minute. On one hand Wormtail was responsible for the death of his parents, his horrible childhood with the Dursleys, Sirius' imprisonment for something he didn't do, Remus' isolation and depression for so long, and likely countless other things; but on the other hand, his betrayal of Harry's parents resulted in the banishment of Voldemort and likely saved countless lives, his betrayal of Voldemort in the graveyard surely saved Harry's life and again likely countless others. If that was his plan all along, why not just say so then. Harry could have grown up with Sirius and been happy. None of this made sense. Remus was right. He wanted answers and he was going to get Wormtail here and no one was leaving until he got his answers. "I want everyone's word that he will not be harmed until we all have all the answers we need. And if we can get veritaserum for it then great." Harry agreed.
"We will probably need to bring the minister into the plot to get access to the veritaserum. It is a highly controlled substance." Remus told him softly.
Harry sighed. "Only if he will agree to leave him unharmed until I have all my answers."
"I'll get Albus on it. He will be able to talk him into it or obliviate him so that he doesn't know what we are going to do." Remus said with some hope in his eyes. Harry nodded and agreed to send the letter once everything was set up. A few hours later Remus came back and gave him the go-ahead.
Wormtail,
You destroyed my life, but you saved it yesterday so I will give you a chance to tell your side of the story. You will not be harmed until you have said your piece and answered all of our questions. Shrieking Shack 9pm tonight. If you are not there I will hunt you down and kill you myself.
Harry
Later that night it was quite the crowd that sat in the shrieking shack waiting for their guest. In addition to Harry, Sirius, and Remus, there was also the headmaster, the minister, an auror guard for the minister who happened to be an up and coming auror named Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Professor Mcgonnagal. At 9 o clock on the dot there was movement in the corner and a rat turned into the man they were all waiting for. The auror immediately put up wards to keep anyone from changing into an animagus form and keep everyone in the room so there was no chance for Pettigrew to get away and then took his wand. With a longing look at his old friends and the child he risked everything for he took a seat and opened his mouth to speak only to be stopped by Harry. It was agreed beforehand that Harry would run the show as long as everyone else got the chance to ask their questions after. "First things first wormtail," he spat the name, "we want to make sure we get the truth so you are going to have to have a little drink for us before you say anything."
He held out his hand and swallowed the vial of veritaserum willingly with a small smile at Harry and began speaking again and this time no one stopped him. "It all started really with my 17th birthday. When I came of age and received my gifts I became a seer. A real one, not like that fraud Trelawny. I could see what would happen in the future and could force a trance to see different outcomes if different decisions are made. This was kept absolute secret and nearly drove me insane. That's why I was missing so much 7th year. It took time to learn to come to terms with the knowledge. I didn't know why I of all people would end up with such a gift, though in many ways it is more of a curse." The others looked at him in a manner that suggested that he get on with the story so he did. "So at James and Lily's wedding I got a vision that Voldemort was going to slaughter them both, along with their son, and Padfoot who was visiting at the time. He would then become unstoppable. That's why I left early into the reception. I had to see how to avoid it. What I could do. I spent weeks going over different outcomes, different ways it could be handled. I tried all different secret keepers. The secret keeper was always killed to break the protection. Even you Headmaster, though he didn't dare cross wands with you, he just smuggled a poison into Hogwarts with one of his death eater children. They hid at Hogwarts, until a curious Harry snuck away and went into the village at 6 years old and was killed along with those who went to save him including all of us. He was gaining power so fast if it had been left for much longer than it eventually was there would have been no way to stop him."
Sirius couldn't hold it in any longer. "So you betrayed them yourself to save him the trouble?" he roared.
"Gods no Padfoot. Didn't you hear what I said? Harry died in all of those situations as well. I couldn't let that happen. Finally I found a way to save something at least. There was no possible decision that would save Lily and James but I could save Harry and the two of you. I planted a book for Lily to find about ancient sacrificial magic knowing that she would do everything possible to save Harry and she did. She and James had to die in order for Harry to remove Voldemort from his body and stop his reign of terror, even temporarily."
Remus had been deep in thought. "The sacrificial magic doesn't work that way. It would have protected Harry, but it wouldn't have rebounded on Voldemort."
"You've always been the smart one Moony. You're right. That was Harry's accidental magic that did that. The protection kept the curse from Harry and redirected it, but Harry's fear of the strange man with the red eyes made his accidental magic redirect it back to him and caused a backlash. That's why it didn't do the job completely. You can't kill yourself with your own magic. The strength Harry's magic added to it allowed it to destroy his body, but his spirit was still tethered. The explosion was caused by the paradox of his own magic destroying his body. That's why we couldn't wait until he was any older. I tried that scenario too. Tried to give him as many years as I could with his parents, but as he got older his accidental magic settled and he understood the situation much better. He still would have been afraid, but not enough to get the reaction. The curse would have been re-directed due to Lily's magic, but it wouldn't have gone after Voldemort and since he couldn't kill the boy he would have taken him and raised him to be a little clone of himself. The fear of the unknown is a much greater fear than any other, especially as a child without his parent's beside him to face it. That's what gave him the strength."
"Even if that was the only way. If I had no choice but to lose my parents, you could have let Sirius raise me. You didn't have to get him sent to Azkaban. You didn't have to leave me to be abused by my so-called family." Harry cried both in pain for what was said and what happened to him in his life.
"Oh Harry, you have to believe me. I tried to find another way. Truly I did. The blood protection from your Aunt based on your mother's sacrificial magic was the only way to protect you. The other death eaters would have hunted you down and killed you before you could even protect yourself. I tried letting Padfoot raise you and he would have done a wonderful job, with or without Moony, but no matter how I tried to play it, you were always killed before you got to Hogwarts. Even raising you at Hogwarts didn't work. You know how many death eaters that claimed imperious have access to Hogwarts, death eater children who blamed you for the loss of their parents, and a small child was too good a target to pass up. It is impossible to watch you all the time and way too easy to stun any protectors from behind, or drug them to sleep, or any of a hundred other ways they could get their hands on you." There were many gasps from the group as this information sank in.
Peter looked fondly at his marauder brothers. "You guys were right about one thing. I did hide with a wizarding family so that I could get news. I hid with a light family that was allied with the headmaster so that I would know if Harry ever went missing, or was removed from his family, and so that when he went to Hogwarts I could watch over him and make sure he stayed safe. There were a few times I had to step in to protect him in his first three years. I frequently snuck away from Ron and hitched a ride with him when the two split up." He smiled remembering some of the times he was able to really make a difference in his cubs life.
Harry suddenly gasped with remembrance. "You bit Goyle!" He said incredulously and amused.
For the first time in 15 years Peter laughed. A real belly laugh. "That I did. I knew who he was. Of course you didn't really need me to step in there, but it was just too fun to resist. I was a marauder for a reason." The other two marauders despite themselves couldn't help but laugh too. After a good healing laugh Peter continued on with his story. "You don't know how badly the guilt destroyed me knowing what I was doing. Even if it was the only way. I submitted to the twins' pranks and testing for years knowing that it was the least I deserved. They are very brilliant but not too considerate to the feelings of their pets." Peter cringed remembering some of the less savory experiments he unwillingly took part in. Everyone who knew the twins could only imagine some of the torment that Peter had endured.
"By the end of Harry's second year I could tell that he needed some hope. He was crushing under the weight of the burden he was bearing. When the photographers came I let myself be photographed on Ron's shoulder. I have to say though that I wasn't expecting you to see it and break out of Azkaban though Sirius. I just expected Moony to see it and go rushing in to save Harry from me so that he could have an adult in his life that he could trust. Someone to tell him of his parents and give him hope that things could get better. Moony was always the one who gave me hope and strength so I hoped he could give Harry the same. But then Padfoot escaped. I spent some time seeing how much of a wrench that would throw into things. He couldn't be allowed to take custody of Harry, but I could never allow him to be kissed. It was bad enough having to sacrifice James and Lily, sacrificing another of my brothers would have completely destroyed me. I had to make sure that someone knew the truth, preferably the headmaster so that Sirius would be protected, but not the minister so that he couldn't be allowed to take Harry. Didn't you ever wonder why I was stupid enough to stick around while you were at Hogwarts Sirius? I needed you to catch me and expose me. That evil cat put a crimp in my plans though and set me back months. We were lucky things worked out as well as they did."
"You did disappear for a while that year. Where were you?" Harry asked.
"That damn cat nearly tore off one of my legs. I barely escaped. I would never have been able to heal in that dorm. If nothing else the fact that I couldn't run away would have seen me eaten. I hitched a ride in Ron's bag on the way to hogsmeade that day and found an abandoned house to transform back and do some basic healing spells."
"But you're terrible at healing spells!" Sirius interrupted.
"Of course. Why do you think it took me months to get back? I was worried that something would happen to Harry while I was away, but I took heart in the fact that Moony was there to protect him and I knew you were nearby Pads and would keep an eye out as much as you could. You couldn't be there at all times like I could in my rat form though, but there was nothing for it. So I made it back, made sure that enough people saw me that the headmaster would have to listen and escaped. I would have liked to stay and make sure that Harry was safe on the full moon, but he had Snape and Sirius there to get him and his friends safely back in side, but I still watched from the shadows to make sure. I nearly had a heart attack when the dementors almost got all of them. I was never any good at the patronus charm even before all this, but dredging up a happy enough memory at that point was nearly impossible. I tried. Over and over I tried, but it wouldn't come. When you made it back safe I wept with relief." Even telling the story his eyes misted over as did the rest of the room.
After that I decided that it was time to finish things for good. I found Voldemort's spirit, but I knew I had to have Harry to kill him. When that fraud made the prophecy and it was heard at least in part by both sides it became unavoidable. Not to mention the whole brother wand thing. I couldn't take out Voldemort, but I could protect Harry's back. The problem was he was nowhere near strong enough to destroy Voldemort and wouldn't likely be anytime soon, but with or without me Voldemort would have made it back. I found him and suggested a ritual that would make him weaker and that would be easy to sabotage to exacerbate that weakness. The problem was getting Harry there to finish it. Finally we did. I wasn't expecting the other boy, but I couldn't kill him. Even with everything I have had to do to get to that point I had never directly taken a life or even cast an unforgivable and really didn't want to have to stoop to that at the very end. During the ritual I made sure to use myself for the flesh of the servant. I was never truly his servant so it made it weaker. Barty wanted to use his own flesh for it, but I convinced Voldemort that he couldn't be there at that point and needed to stay at Hogwarts until it was done. I hated having to hurt Harry, but I made the cut as shallow as I could to get the needed blood. I was the one to convince Voldemort that he needed to duel Harry to demonstrate his superiority knowing that the priori incantatem would take effect, but I had also seen that without Voldemort being distracted Harry would just barely escape with his life and Voldemort would be back on his reign of terror. When the dome surrounded them the death eaters all clustered at the edge and I backed away and waited for the right moment. As soon as I saw James and Lily come out of his wand it was time. I cast Bombarda into the group of death eaters. They were all killed and Voldemort was well and truly distracted so that his curse would rebound on him again. Since the body he created was made with portions of myself, Harry, and his own father, his magic didn't recognize him as himself and we were able to avoid the fluke that allowed him to survive the first time."
The entire room was silent and still for at least ten minutes after the final words were spoken. All were amazed at the suffering and torment that this man subjected himself to, including the hatred of his brothers and the child that he loved as much as if he were his own, and all to save as many of them as he could and protect the world from Voldemort. Peter hadn't moved from his chair and had his head hung waiting for the verdict of the only people he ever loved; his family.
See the poll on my profile to vote on what to do with Peter. I have a good idea what I'm going to do, but if the majority would like to see it go another way then I will.
