Summary: All the times Ally thought of her and Austin as something more. Four-shot.

A/N: You know, I'm gonna be completely honest - I forgot this story existed. But then I was looking at my story list on the site and realized that I haven't finished this, so. Here I am with the second chapter, and no promises of when the third will be up. But yeah.

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin & Ally or anything else you might recognize.


there's no turning back

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't at least a little bit scared to be performing on stage in front of an audience after so long. But with this newfound confidence from tonight and Austin right next to her, she's sure she's going to be just fine.

And she's right. She doesn't remember much about what it felt like to perform, but she's positive it didn't feel like this. She almost felt like a completely different person as she sang, hitting every note. And performing with her best friend is something she never knew how badly she wanted until now. Hearing their voices together in the practice room is one thing, but on an actual stage in front of actual people, it's a whole new level. And she loves every minute of it. And when Dez suggests later that she can perform with Austin now, a part of her can't wait for the day she can do so without a mask on.

ain't no second guessing

It isn't the first time someone has brought up the idea of them being a couple, but it's the first time she did so willingly, and right after she's not sure that was such a good idea. His expression becomes awkward, and he says something about that being weird, which she agrees to. But thinking about it, she's not so sure she can agree. Thinking about it, them as a couple seems...almost normal, expected. Right.

But she just shakes her head at this. Her and Austin can't be anything more than music partners and best friends. A relationship would just complicate things. She tries to ignore the slight disappointment she feels at this thought. There are more important concerns at the moment besides a potential relationship with her best friend.

i'm doing the best i can

She genuinely feels happy for him when he finally gets a girlfriend. She's...different from other girls, but he seems happy, and that's what matters.

She's surprised at how willingly he blows off dates with her for this magazine cover, though. In her mind, she always thought you were supposed to put love first. It could be the fact that his career is at stake, but Brooke was still his girlfriend. And when he didn't invite her to the glow-in-the-dark party at Sonic Boom, she was really unsure about the relationship. But it's none of her business. Even if she is his best friend, his relationships are still something only he really needs to know about (though it doesn't stop her from really questioning it when he's willing to give up the magazine cover for her sake).

now i can't believe my eyes

She's not gonna lie, the idea of Austin singing a song written by someone other than her doesn't make her all that happy. But Jessie seems like a nice girl, and one song couldn't hurt.

But then Trish suggests they sing a duet.

Familiar feelings make their way into her stomach, and suddenly she's a little mad Trish would suggest something like that. The idea of Austin singing with someone else, working on music with someone else, kind of bothers her. She understands that as a growing artist, he's bound to work with different musicians from time to time, but...a part of her assumed that wouldn't come until later, maybe even after she was well on her way to fame, too.

She hopes the day she can perform with him again comes sooner rather than later.

this wasn't gonna be no ordinary day

When Kira cancels her date with Austin due to a misinterpretation of their friendship, a part of her feels she should've seen this coming. People seem to mistake her and Austin for a couple more and more now, and she's not sure what to do about it.

She starts with the easiest person's mind to fix. By helping Austin land a date with Kira again, maybe she can prove to Kira that her and Austin are nothing more than best friends and partners. And maybe once Austin finally has a girlfriend, other people will start to see that she's not someone who goes by the name of Ally Dawson.

It's harder than she thought to get him to understand what kind of date Kira would like, but eventually she manages. When he suggests to get her a necklace like her own, she's a little taken aback. His girlfriend and best friend having similar necklaces would be an interesting sight.

And then they move on to the more romantic part of the date, acting out what could work. But when he slides in close and puts his arm around her, immediately something is off. She continues to go along, leaning her head on his shoulder, but she feels nervous doing so. And when they both realize how perfect this would be, it hits her how perfect it already is. Right here in the practice room with Austin. And when she lifts her head off his shoulder and meets his giddy gaze and nervous grin, she frowns. Because she now knows why everything feels off. Why she's been feeling jealous or attached or upset when it came to him. It's always been there, but she would never let herself see it. She likes him. She likes Austin.

The first person she tells is Trish, obviously, who reacts greatly. She senses she may have seen this coming, but she doesn't ask. And then Trish suggests she tells Austin her feelings. How crazy is that? She realized how she felt while practicing a date for him and another girl. Clearly he doesn't feel the same way, or else he wouldn't even bother with Kira anymore. Better to keep the feelings a secret to save possible embarrassment and the loss of one of the greatest friends she's ever had.

It doesn't help when she finds out she put the wrong necklace in the basket. So much for trying to prove to Kira she doesn't like him (she knows differently now, but that's not the point). Interrupting their date doesn't seem like the best idea, but it's the only thing they can do - especially when it's already falling apart on it's own, anyway. How could it possibly get worse? (Dez saw to that.)

She can't ignore how happy she feels at the thought of knowing the date was a disaster. She may not be able to tell him how she feels, but at least she won't have to worry about some other girl being in the way of her chances if that day ever does come. But then him and Kira walk in talking about second dates, and her hopes are dropped. At least Kira doesn't think she likes Austin anymore.

A part of her wishes that was still true.

there's no way to hide it

When Trish says Austin must like her back, the first thing she wants to do is deny it. They've been trying to deny these feelings for each other since they first met, what are the odds they'd both end up falling for each other?

But when she thinks about his behaviour these past few days since Elliot showed up, she knows it's true. As someone who's experienced jealousy firsthand before, she recognizes the signs. And Austin's been jealous of Elliot since the day he got here.

Despite the fact she now knows he feels the same, it still takes her by surprise when he tries to kiss her the same night while songwriting. She almost couldn't stop him; when their hands touched, it somehow brought back the memory of the first time this happened, and how different it felt. It feels different now, too, and when she looks over at him next to her and he starts leaning in, a part of her wanted to follow along until they met in the middle. But she stopped herself, for she didn't know if he still felt the same about Kira. And boy drama was the last thing she wanted to get involved in.

it's the moment that you know

She hates how awkward everything is between them.

She can't deny it; the tension between them is so thick it could be cut through with a knife. Neither of them have yet acknowledged their feelings for each other, but writing this song she can tell it's there. And apparently so obvious even her mother notices when she comes home from Africa. As much as she'd appreciate talking about it with her, she puts it to the side for now. Austin still has his own decision to make about Kira. And then maybe they can talk it out.

But it turns out there won't be any talking it out. She was so happy that day from finally deciding it was time to perform without the mask on, she almost forgot about the whole Austin thing. But then she overhears him telling Dez about how great Kira is, and it all comes rushing back. And she hates to admit how much it hurt to hear him say that.

The pain goes away, though, as it becomes replaced with the overwhelming fear of performing again. She knows she can do this. But the fear of failure becomes too much, and then she ends up running off stage when her mom calls her name. She couldn't help it.

But then her mom talks to her, and her confidence comes back. She can do this. And when Austin comes to try to talk to her, too, she knows all the more that she's capable of performing again. Because with him by her side, what can't she do?

Performing she knows she can. They sing their duet amazingly, and somehow she manages to forget she's even performing in front of an audience at all. She just has to look at him, and it's like they're back in the practice room, just the two of them and the music. But then the song ends and the audience starts clapping and she almost has to forcefully tear her gaze away from his. And there's a new feeling present in her, one that wasn't caused by Austin, but is there because of him. Her stage fright is gone.

They run backstage excitedly, happy she's finally over her stage fright. She feels so incredible, that she's capable of anything right now. It seems they both are, as he tells her he can do anything as long as he's with her, and then their gazes meet again and her feelings for him escalate and she suddenly finds herself leaning in and then they're kissing.

It's her first kiss and she honestly couldn't have imagined it any better. It's with the perfect person and at the perfect moment after a perfect performance. It's perfect.

They're both in a little shock after, but his eyes are shining and she's pretty sure her's are, too, and she thinks that maybe this could be the start of something new for them until it all comes crashing down as Kira walks in talking about being his girlfriend.

So much for perfect.

how long till i stop pretending

She gets out of there quickly, wanting to put as much distance between herself and that kiss. It seems he already made his decision beforehand, anyway, so what's the point in staying to listen to his protests?

But then he tries talking to her the next day about it, telling her how great and magical it was, and she almost wants to go for it. But he's still with Kira, and she's not into cheating. So she leaves. Let him deal with this while she moves her focus on to more important things.

But he just won't let it go. He tells her he broke up with Kira, but the magazines say otherwise. He tries to catch her at school, but she's busy with her career. The final straw is when he interrupts the party her parents threw her for getting over her stage fright to show her the piano he got her. Maybe now he'll know that trying to parachute an inanimate object is not the best idea.

She's hoping he finally understands that she just wants to move on when she hears it - her song being played on the guitar from the direction of the practice room. And when she looks up and sees him standing there with that grin and eyes only for her, she knows she's a goner. He walks down the stairs singing her song in front of everyone, letting them all know he feels the same way, and she can't stop herself from getting up and meeting him in the middle. She tries to tell him afterward how she really feels, and that she no longer wants to forget about it, but he stops her, and so she just hugs him, and they both know they're on the same page (quite literally, as only a few days later they're on the front cover of Cheetah Beat).

Maybe there is such thing as perfect after all.

we were never the same

It seems perfection has a time limit and somehow they go from happy to awkward in a matter of days. They're both nervous on the first date with nothing to talk about other than how cool something is, and suddenly there's tension again.

Why does it have to be like this? All she wants is a happy relationship with her best friend, and instead she gets extreme awkwardness? They can't even write a decent song, for goodness sake! It shouldn't be like this. But somehow it is, and she's not sure what to do about it.

It's when he suggests maybe they should just go back to being friends at the song pitch that she knows he's right. They end up in the practice room like always and it seems to her that they just can't be themselves in this relationship right now, and there's a chance it's only going to get worse. So they go back to being friends and partners, and she likes to think she's happy.

For the time being, though, she'd be lying if she said she didn't regret it one bit.

what do you do?

She didn't quite realize just how time consuming it could be to be a songwriter for two people until she has four songs to write within a week. She has a demo to record and he needs a new song for Tuesday and there just doesn't seem to be enough time for her to do both. She's glad he wants to try writing himself for the first time, but she still feels bad.

The song turns out to be not so great, though, and it only makes her feel worse. He doesn't have a song to perform and there's not enough time to whip up a new one, so they're stuck. She can't say she doesn't appreciate it at least a little bit when a bear decides to show up just before he's supposed to perform his real new song - it did give her a chance to use some of her favourite bear puns - but she still can't get rid of the fact that it could've been avoided if she's just written him something.

And then he tells her that he understands that she has music of her own to work on now but that he'll always need her, and she can't not smile at that. A small part of her may have been worried that if she couldn't get something done for him in time, he may just end up finding a new songwriter. But it seems he still needs her, and she knows she still needs him, too.

i'll do whatever it takes

She's honestly surprised when Jimmy decides to drop Austin from his label. It was an honest mistake, and losing a record deal because of it seems too much. But she doesn't lose out on hope. She's sure they can get Jimmy to see reason and take him back ASAP.

But nothing they seem to do works, and suddenly she's stuck with choosing between what's more important - her personal song or his record deal. She's a little shocked when she realizes the decision is a no-brainer; she can always write another song, but it's not so easy to get another record deal. So she talks to Kira about giving her the song in return for her to talk to her dad, and she hopes to God that it works. But instead, she ends up performing her own song (thank you, Kira) and Kira still talks to her dad about the record deal.

She's ecstatic when Jimmy offers Austin his record deal back, but then he turns it down for her to get her own deal, and she swears no one has ever sacrificed so much for her before. Jimmy then offers her one, too, and they're both happy. She's still thinking, but she's sure it wouldn't be so bad for her and Austin to work under the same label. As long as they're working together.

i'm pleading guilty

Immediately she wants to know who the song is about. She can't help it; it's a love song, who wouldn't want to know who he wrote it about?

It seems the whole world does and she's not the only one people are thinking of. He's had other girlfriends, she reminds herself. It could be about anybody.

But then it seems it might not matter who he wrote about when suddenly he's being sued by Val for stealing the song and his career is on the line. Trish thinks him admitting who the song is about will give them the upper hand they need to win, but he won't budge.

But then he performs the song and not once does he look in her direction and Trish knows what this means. He did write it about her, and maybe he still likes her, but they're still just friends - even if she can't help but feel glad that he picked her to write his first song about.

no matter what you do

She never thought he'd find out about her questioning of their partnership. It seems telling Trish wasn't exactly the best idea. But his reaction seems to be a bit much; why is it so hard for him to understand her worry when he knows how different they are? And they're still partners now, so there should be no harm done, right?

Except harm ends up done not only to him but to her as well when she finds out he had his own secret concerning their partnership. It seems she had a right to worry about him looking for someone new when she didn't have the time to write for him, after all. His anger at her is one thing, but he tried to replace her as his songwriter! How is she supposed to forgive him for something like that?

Suddenly they can't get anything done for this movie, what with them constantly fighting about every little thing that comes up. But she just feels betrayed by him, absolutely shocked that he would even consider writing with someone else.

And then Trish and Dez decide to have them reenact the scene where she got over her stage fright and a part of her knows what they're up to. She remembers very well what happened that night, and she wouldn't be surprised if they're using that to their advantage.

The song ends up bringing back all the memories and feelings of that night, and when they kiss they get lost in each other. She forgets about the camera and her friends and the anger she was feeling, only knowing Austin. Then something tugs in the back of her mind that they're being filmed, and so they stop. She'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy herself, and she might be telling the truth if she said she wished Trish and Dez and the camera weren't there and she was alone with Austin. But even if she did want that (which she doesn't, she swears), her and Austin are only friends and partners, and they can't be anything more.

praying there's a chance you still believe

She's ecstatic when she finds out she's performing before Austin at his Miami show on his tour. And when Ronnie Ramone offers her a record deal afterwards, she's sure her life can't get any better than this (pun intended). But then he tells her she has to start the next day, aka the same day as Austin's tour begins, and she's stuck. How can she possibly take up this record deal if it means missing Austin's tour? But how can she go on the tour if it means losing this once in a lifetime opportunity?

She's a little mad when Trish hits it on the head that she still likes Austin. But a part of her can't help but think that his feelings for her might change were she to miss his tour. She knows he'd understand if she stayed - she's wanted this forever - but that doesn't mean it won't be different between them.

He's so excited, of course, when he finds out about the deal. It's what she's always wanted and he's so proud. But his face falls when he hears she might not be able to go on tour and it breaks her heart all the more. She won't be the only one this decision will effect.

She thinks long and hard about it that night, and as much as she hates to say it, the decision is easy. Because as much as she wants to go on tour with Austin, as much as she's afraid to be apart from him for three months, she knows she can't let go of this opportunity. She'd lose too much.

She doesn't want to have to deliver the news, but she can't just let them leave without at least saying goodbye. She knows she's going to miss Dez and Trish a lot, but what she feels for Austin is so much stronger, and she's afraid she'll end up breaking down and changing her mind. It doesn't help when he runs back off the bus and she swears he almost tells her he loves her. But maybe she's just being hopeful.

She ends up reading the card he wrote her over and over that night. For a boy who claims he's not the best with words, it's the best thing she's ever read (she may be a little biased because it's directed towards her, but still). She only hopes she'll get a chance to use the plane ticket he left behind to visit. It may just make the separation a little less agonizing for the both of them.


So there's the second chapter. I'll probably wait a bit to upload the third one, as I kinda wanna space out the updates somewhat equally since they're covering the entire series, and season four only just began. I'm also trying to work on other stories, so this isn't my main focus. But I'm hoping to have something up next month. So yeah. Thank you for reading! :)