A/N: You guys are truly amazing. I have never gotten so many reviews for a first chapter, ever.I'm so glad that you guys have taken to this new Jasper. It really makes me happy, you have no idea.

Enjoy. Songs are on the playlist as always.


Chapter 2: Concrete Angel


It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel

Mondays have always been the vain of my existence. Ever since I was a little girl.

Mondays meant the start of a new week. A new week to hide in the background and be completely ignored by everyone.

My parents, as usual, were already downstairs having breakfast, discussing their plans for the day by the time I walked in. It was the same ritual, day after day, with them.

At seven forty five, my mom would say it's time to get to school and off we'd go.

"Are you excited for today?" she tried to make idle chat with me as we drove the six minute drive to school. I just gave her a small shrug and stared out the window. But, I knew my mom. And that one little shrug was enough for her.

What was I supposed to say? Yea, mom real excited. That's why I'm practically convulsing with fear right in front of you.

But, those were mere thoughts. Things I could never say to her. She dropped me off, offering me a smile and a wave. I gave her a wave back and walked towards the school. It probably sounds really pathetic that my mom still drops me off at school every morning but I really don't care. People don't pay attention to me here. They never have.

Today was start of a new school year. My junior year to be exact. I really wish I could have something to be excited about but, I highly doubted that I was going to find anything. Well, I stand corrected. There is one thing that I am excited about this year. Being as I'm a junior now, I got the opportunity to take an art class. Art is a love of mine. It's always been one of my many escapes.

My first four classes were typical, nothing new. If anything, they were a bit boring. However, I apparently wasn't 'smart' enough to be in the AP classes in this place. But, I knew the real reason why. I came here from a different city, a different state. The school I went to wasn't really what you would call prestigious or in a nice part of town.

I walked down the hallways, fixing my gaze on the white paper in front of me as I avoided everyone. I repeated my daily schedule in my head a few times as I walked.

Math, History, break, Science, English, lunch, Spanish and Art. By the end of the week I was going to be sick of this routine I just knew it.

If there was one more thing I didn't need, it was another routine to follow religiously.

By the time lunch rolled around, I was relieved. It meant I could spend exactly thirty minutes alone in my own little world. Without even looking where I was going, I headed straight towards the library. My haven since freshman year. I have sat in the library, at the same table, every day since I've been here.

What can I say? As much as I hate routines, I can't help but stick to what I know. My comfort zone.

Because let's face it, the tighter the routine, the lesser probability that something will slip. A tighter routine also mean less interaction with people.

Like people would actually want to socialize with someone like you.

I sighed as I rounded the corner to enter the library. At least I had almost made it the entire day before it started.

I was trying to regain my thoughts as I entered the library, making a bee line for my usual seat. I must've been a bit too consumed with my thoughts because before I knew it, I was sitting in the right seat…but on someone's lap. The unexpected contact with another person completely caught me off guard and I did the first thing that came to mind: I screamed. And for exactly five seconds, I was frozen. I couldn't move no matter how hard I tried.

"Can I help you? Last time I checked, chairs were only meant for one person." A person's voice snapped me out of it.

You stupid, stupid girl…get off of him before he really thinks you're crazy.

I somehow found the will to get off this stranger's lap and sit in the seat across from him, while trying to calm down my erratic heart rate. I apologized profusely and even offered to share my spot with him, just so he wouldn't think anything of my little rant a few moments ago.

I quickly pulled a book out and started reading, making sure that there was no eye contact. I had just embarrassed myself in front of this guy and yet, he was still sitting there, watching me.

And then he just started talking to me. To say I was surprised would be a complete understatement. No one and I mean no one ever talked to me. Especially at school. Most people simply pass me by as if I wasn't really there. Which, that was fine by me. I didn't want to be noticed. Still, it was a bit unsettling to hear someone just strike a conversation up with me.

Of course, the conversation had nothing to do with me. In fact, he was wondering why I wasn't asking him questions. Then he proceeded to say that he was the new guy in school and no one would leave him alone. Talk about self-centered.

But, I couldn't tell him that to his face. It would ruin my entire image. So instead, I teased him about staying in the library and asked his name. Why? Because it was the first, normal thing that popped into my head.

"Jasper, and yourself?" He offered his hand to me and I just stared at it. He was joking right? What did he think? That I would just…

Shake his hand Lucinda, you have to keep up the act remember.

So, I did what any normal girl would do, I shook his hand and introduced myself. To which he just nodded. I couldn't believe this guy! He had no idea how much it took for me to simply reach over and shake his hand. And what did I get? A mere shrug.

When the bell rang, I left as quickly as I could. But, as I sat through Spanish, my thoughts kept floating back to the boy in the library.

Jasper.

He looked like your typical bad boy. With his attitude that read he didn't care and his posture that was meant to ward off everyone.

But, I had spent most of my life around people like Jasper. Honestly, he didn't look like he'd be the kind of guy who'd carry a weapon around with him so I was pretty sure I'd be safe around him.

What makes you think you're going to talk to him again? You'll probably never see that boy again. People like him just don't hang out in the library. People like him have a reputation to uphold. And you Lucinda are the last person he'd want to be seen with. After today, he will probably forget all about you.

It was a valid point. However, it made me quite upset. And, during the last few minutes of class, I just sat there, grabbed my trusty rubber band and gave it a few snaps before the bell rang. My last class was a few doors down so I was the first one in there. I was most comfortable in the art room than anywhere else. Because like myself, the art students mostly kept to themselves. Well, minus the group of jocks and cheerleaders who took up the tables in the back. The ones who took this class in order to get an easy 'A.'

I grabbed my beloved iPod and turned it up, blocking out everyone who was filing into the room. I stared outside the window, taking in the minimal scenery. My eyes focused on a bird that was flying around. It looked so carefree and beautiful.

I wondered what it would be like to be a bird.

Bam! The sound of books slamming on the table scared the crap out of me, making my heart start beating a bit out of control. I looked up and saw none other than Jasper sitting down beside me, giving me an odd expression and asking me if I had just spoken Spanish. I wasn't really sure what I told him, I was making sure I wasn't going to have a full blown panic attack in the middle of the art room.

Was he doing it on purpose? Did he know the type of affect sudden movements and surprises had on me?

Obviously not.

Thankfully, our teacher arrived and started talking. Something about the person sitting next to us would be our partner for the next year.

Oh, god. That meant that this guy was stuck with me for an entire year. He's probably not too happy about that.

"I hope you're a good artist." Was the first thing he said to me and I proceeded to tell him that I guess I was and suggested that he start sketching me first because I had a pretty good idea of how I was going to sketch him. He spent the remainder of the period drawing random little pictures.

With him so busy, I was able to think about him freely. Especially those eyes of his. Such a piercing shade of green that it was very difficult to not get lost in them. And there was his hair. It was a few shades lighter than mine and perfectly disheveled. Almost as if he just rolled out of bed with it looking like that. But, for some reason, it suited him. If anything, he could be a model.

But, I knew better. Behind those amazing green eyes, there was more than what met the eye. He may not look it but, there was definitely something there that signified that this boy was trouble.

Then again, I knew his type. He wasn't anything that I hadn't seen before.

Yea, then you know exactly why type of person he is Lucinda. You better stay as far away from him as possible. After everything your parents did for you…you're just going to throw it all away for some boy with pretty eyes? Get real Lucinda. Get a life while you're at it as well…

Before the mental battle had a chance to escalate further, the bell rang, causing me to jump up, grab my things and get the heck out of there as fast as I could. I gathered the books I needed out of my locker, avoiding any eye contact with the people around me. Not like they paid attention to me anyways.

I headed outside the school. While everyone got into their cars, or talked with their friends in the parking lot, I just started walking. As I was crossing the lot, I spotted Jasper on the other side. He was walking straight towards the car…of Edward Cullen.

It was interesting sight. Jasper didn't really strike me as the type of person who would befriend Edward. Jasper was too…I don't know but it didn't make sense to me. I didn't really personally know Edward; I had a few a classes over the past two years with him and he was in my history class this year but that didn't mean anything.

I was pretty sure though that he was a nice guy. I mean, just look at his parents. I had met Dr. Cullen once and he was nothing but kind and compassionate towards me. And I had visited Mrs. Cullen's flower shop numerous times with my mother and she was just so sweet, it was impossible not to like her. I almost wished that Esme Cullen was my mother…almost. Surely all that kindness rubbed off on their son right?

The twenty minute walk to my house was yet another routine. Something I've been doing since freshman year. Only when the weather was really bad would one of my parents come get me but, personally, I preferred to walk. It was nice to be out in the fresh air, alone.

Mom and dad once asked me if I could get a ride home from one of my friends. To that, I just laughed at them. What friends? No one liked me at this school. Why else wouldn't they talk to me?

Why do you care so much Lucinda? Like they'd want to be your friend anyways.

By the time I finally got home, I was completely losing the inner battle with my mind. It was nothing new though. I was used to it.

Getting home, I went straight to the kitchen to make some tea before I settled into yet another routine. I'd start my homework for about an hour before getting a start on dinner. Mom was always tired when she came home. She and my dad worked in the same place, at the church and were always tired when they both came home.

And, to avoid any drama, I just cooked dinner, no questions asked. I didn't need another reason for my mom to call me selfish or ungrateful. Those two words seemed to be her favorite when it came to me. I never knew why though. I did everything they asked me. Most of the time, I just did it. I never asked for anything really. The occasional ride home but that was about it. And yet, she still called me those names.

My mother, though I loved her, was quite the enigma.

The few hours alone were spent much like every other day and I wasn't even aware when they came home, right on time.

"Lucinda, are you home?" my mother's voice floated into the kitchen.

Where else am I going to be mom?

"Yea, in here." I shut my books and went to stand by the stove, to make sure it looked like I was bust cooking away. I never made difficult things. There wasn't any point in doing so.

"How was your day?" my mother strolled in and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, placing a kiss on my cheek. I tried my hardest to not noticeably cringe with her touch.

"Fine." I stared down at the food I was making, trying to avoid eye contact with her. Her arm lingered on my shoulder for a few more seconds. I knew she was thinking of making some sort of comment but, with a sigh, she just gave up and walked away. She helped me finish making dinner and within twenty minutes, the three of us were sitting at the table in the kitchen.

I pushed the food around my plate while I listened to my parents making idle chat with one another. When I would occasionally look up from my plate, I would just came face to face with the empty chair in front of me. It didn't make sense to me. There was three us and yet, my mother insisted on having that fourth chair there. I don't know what having that chair meant for her but I knew for me, it was torture every time I looked at it.

I don't what she was thinking. That maybe if she kept the chair there, then maybe, just maybe…

"Lucinda?" I jumped slightly when I heard my name suddenly being thrown into the conversation.

"Sorry." I mumbled looking up to see my dad staring at me.

"Well, did you meet him?" he pressed.

"Meet who?" I looked at him confused. Apparently I had missed something important.

"That new boy who's attending your school now." My thoughts immediately shifted back to the new boy. Jasper. The boy with the insanely gorgeous green eyes that made me want to just melt into them.

But of course, I wasn't about to tell them all of that. I had to play my part.

"What new boy?" I asked with all the fake innocence I could muster.

"I believe his name is…oh, what was it again?" he thought for a few seconds "Oh, yes. Jasper?"

"Oh." I feigned surprise "I think he's in my art class. I didn't meet him though." I lied.

"Oh, good." He sighed "I don't want you getting involved with him Lucinda."

I stopped and just glared at him.

"What are you talking about? I just said I didn't know him." I sighed.

"I know his kind, and I don't want you to get involved with someone like him. He's just…no, just stay away from him alright?"

His kind? What did my father possibly know about Jasper? He really was unbelievable sometimes. My dad, the local pastor, was actually listening to small town gossip apparently. He wasn't really setting the best example right now but what did that matter?

He was actually right about one thing. If he believed Jasper was this bad boy, then he sure did know his 'kind.' Before moving here, my life was surrounded with nothing but bad boys and violence. But, there was no use in thinking about the past anymore.

This was my life now.

"Fine dad." I shrugged.

Not like you need to give you father fake promises. That boy probably wants nothing to do with you. Who would?

"Bien." He nodded and just went right back into his conversation with my mother. "I mean, just because he is the son of Dr. Cullen, that doesn't mean anything."

Dr. Cullen? Jasper was his son?!

Well, I guess that made sense now. That's why he was with Edward. They were…step brothers. Interesting.

It took all the strength I had to not just get up and leave the room.

But, that was Elena and Oscar Ramirez for you. So perfect to everyone on the outside and yet, so confusing to me. They were always talking about random things and for the life of me, I could never keep up. And all I wanted was to be alone with my thoughts. Though, that wasn't always the best idea.

Thankfully, I only had to endure this awkwardness for only ten more minutes before I could get up and go.

"Thanks" I cleared the table, tossing the dishes in the sink. I didn't have the energy to wash them right now. If anything, I could do it later tonight or in the morning. My mom and dad had already gotten up and made their way into the living room, no doubt to settle in to their nightly routine of watching television for a little bit.

They had their nightly routine and so did I. I had so many routines that it was both pathetic and wonderful. Without my routines, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Once I was settled in a pattern, I rarely changed or drifted away from it. It didn't really make life exciting but, what type of excitement was I ever going to come across?

I changed out of the clothes I had been wearing all day and settled for my favorite pair of pajama pants and a white t-shirt.

It was typical and utterly plain but, again, what did that matter? I wasn't trying to impress anyone with what I slept in. I hardly doubted that someone was going to throw rocks at my window and say he was my Romeo. And I sure as heck wasn't anyone's Juliet.

I wasn't anyone really. Just the girl who moved here and was insanely quiet and a bit weird.

Not according to my parents though. To them, I was the epitome of perfect. I got excellent grades, never got into any trouble and didn't hang out with the wrong crowd. What more could they ask for?

If only they knew.

I got good grades because I had far too much time on my hands and spent many hours alone with nothing to do and I refused to be another disappointment to my parents.

I didn't get into any trouble because it would completely ruin my image. All my life, I was your typical good girl who did everything that was asked of her, never asking questions. I was supposed to be the nice, shy and perfect daughter of Pastor Ramirez. Anything less would just be…sacrilegious in the eyes of many. And I wasn't about to do that. No matter how ridiculous it sounded.

I didn't hang out with the wrong crowd because…well, because no one ever really gave me a second glance. Especially since I moved here. These people didn't really know me. They had all gone to school together for probably their entire lives and then I showed up. Quiet girl Lucinda who just kept to herself without so much as looking in the wrong direction.

And I didn't know what was worse. Having people ignore you or not wanting people to socialize with you. Either way would not boast well for me, I just knew it.

Curling up on bed, underneath my favorite blanket, I just stared up at the ceiling. This is how it was almost every night. Me, upstairs alone in my room with nothing but my music to keep me company.

I had a computer but I hardly used it. Only when it came to homework or something but that was about it.

I had my books of course but, at the moment, I didn't feel like reading them right now.

Try all I wanted but, the only thing that was on my mind right now was a certain boy.

No, well a certain boy who just so happened to be my art partner. I knew better than to let my mind be consumed with him but I couldn't help it. There was just something about him and I couldn't put my finger on it.

God, those eyes. It was all about eyes. A shade of green that was both entrancing and dangerous. No one with eyes so beautiful could be perfect.

Sighing, I reached over and grabbed my iPod, searching through my songs until I found the first song that came to mind when I thought about Jasper.

That green eyes
Yeah the spotlight shines upon you
And how could anybody deny you
I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter
Now I met you
And honey you should know
That I could never go on without you
Green eyes

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know

That green eyes
You're the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who tried to deny you
Must be out of their mind

The song wasn't even half over when I pulled the headphones out of my ears, tossing it across my bed. I settled in deeper in my blankets and just lay there on my side, thinking.

It was pretty interesting, now knowing that Jasper was actually Dr. Cullen's son. Even though I wasn't aware of the situation, I actually felt a bit bad for Jasper. Because clearly Jasper and Edward were the same age. Which meant, Dr. Cullen probably cheated on his wife. And that was never a good thing.

At that very moment, I felt nothing but compassion for him. It must've been tough growing up without your dad. I wondered why he suddenly showed up now in this town? Had something happened and he was forced to come here? There were a million questions running though my head.

Questions that would never be answered.

Why I was doing this to myself? I didn't even know this guy and yet, here I was laying on bed thinking about only him.

As I shut my eyes tightly, all I could think about was the line 'I could never go on without you.' How in god's name would that ever be possible? It was ridiculous, it was insane.

Though, the line 'anyone who tried to deny you must be out of their find' seemed to fit the bill. There was no question that he was…gorgeous. And, I'm sure that all the girls were practically falling all over him already. He just had that look to him. The one that screamed stay away and yet, it was the same look that just drew them in like flies.

They would be lining up to be with him no doubt. And he would probably pick the prettiest of them all to be with.

Well, then there's no hope for you Lucinda now is there? Maybe you should listen to your father and stay far, far away from that boy. He doesn't need you…he doesn't need to know all your…

With a heavy sigh, I stopped listening to my inner voice and just rolled over on the bed so that I was again facing the ceiling, wanting nothing more to fall asleep.

But, I knew that wasn't possible. I hardly fell asleep easily. I desperately wished for some type of medication that would just knock me out. I wanted to be unconscious and be away from all this. Reality and I didn't exactly get along well these days.

But, this was just wishful thinking. And even with my eyes closed, I thought of Jasper.

I knew he wanted nothing to do with me, this I was sure of. Why would he? He didn't know me and I didn't know him.

And even on the off chance that he did want to know me, I wouldn't let him.

Years of perfecting this image wasn't about to be destroyed by an incredibly handsome boy with eyes that pierced right through me.

No, I wouldn't let him. I couldn't let him.


I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I have to say, Lucinda is by far one of the most personal characters I have ever written. The song in this chapter was "Green Eyes" By Coldplay.

Reviews=Love.