Summary: Five teenagers blackmail the Pharaoh into letting them live in his palace. However, the Pharaoh got more than he bargained for. First of all, these are not normal teens. Then there's a love triangle... which could also be considered a love square... or maybe a rectangle... quadrilateral! Then a kidnapping, a war, a furball invasion, and crap I'm telling you the whole story! Just read.
A/N: Hello again people! I really would like to thank sonria. She is my first and only reviewer so far. Anyway... she asked me to keep writing... which I can't really do. Why you might ask? Because this fic is already done! I'm just going to keep posting the chapters slowly. But I need reviews people! I can't just have one review for a 29-chapter story.
Anyway... I'll post chapter 2, but I need more reviews please. I won't be like some people who are all "Five reviews in order to get another chapter!" No. I'm just asking for some more. My other fic "Road Trip with the Yamis" has 14 reviews and it's only 7 chapters long so far. This fic is going to be 29 chapters, which is more than 4 times as long.
Anyway... I'll just warn you that there are a lot of Larry the Cable Guy lines in here. If you have something against him, then don't read. And you have lost all respect from wit da story!
Chapter 2 Battle in the Kitchen
"Guys, we hit the jackpot!" Tohru yelled.
"Feeding frenzy!" Akumu shrieked.
"Hold it!" Jami yelled.
"Aww, why Jami? There's all of this food that's calling my name and telling me to eat it!" Akumu said starry-eyed.
"It all looks so good!" Tohru said with his mouth watering.
"Come on! We can't just let it go to wast,." Akumu said, looking at her innocently.
"We can't eat it," Tohru and Akumu's faces dropped. "without some wine. You boys know it's not our style to eat without getting drunk. Don't tell me you were actually going to break our tradition.
Well, shame on you," Jami lectured.
"We love you Jami!" Both boys yelled at once latching onto her. Akumu earned a glare from Netami and Ayame just rolled her eyes.
"Alright, alright, I get it. Now get offa me!" Jami said trying to fake a smile.
"Whew! At first we thought you were actually going to forbid us from eating." Tohru said.
"Yeah, don't scare us like that. We're stupid boys. So, don't use none of that sarcasm or reverse psychology around us because we might actually take you seriously," Akumu said.
"I'm just cool like that. Now, let's find their stash of wine."
"Hmm. Now, if I were wine, where would I be hiding?" Akumu asked in a serious tone– for once.
"Found it!" Tohru yelled.
"Sweet! Gimme!"
"Nuh uh, no can do. I'll give it to you only if you ask me nicely."
"Yeah, and I'll ask you nicely when Jami actually laughs," Akumu said snatching the bottle from Tohru. "Yay! I win!"
"What was that?" Jami asked cracking her knuckles.
"Oh, nothing of importance," Akumu said pouring a glass for himself. Jami smirked to herself. As Akumu lifted the glass to his mouth, the wine splashed onto his face. "Aww man! That is so not funny, Jami!"
"What was that you were saying about me actually laughing?"
"You wanna start something?" Akumu asked wiping his face.
"I don't see what the point is. Fire can never beat water, or in this case, wine."
"It's go time!" Akumu said as fire surrounded his hands.
"You're so persistent." Akumu sent a fireball towards her, but she easily blocked it with a water whip. "You'll never learn."
"Where did that water come from?"
"Well, the cooks here are really irresponsible. They left the sink on. Don't tell me you didn't hear the water running." (Did they even have sinks back then? I don't think so.)
He sent another attack at her, but this time she fought back by forming a tidal wave and sending it towards him; he was soaked.
"Dude, not the hair!" Akumu yelled trying to fix his hair that was now sticking to his face.
"Well, it's your own fault that you take so much pride in it."
"Alright, you two, break it up," Netami said, stepping in between them.
"Being all neutral, as usual," Akumu seethed, slicking his hair back so it returned back to its normal look.
"No, I'm just stopping you guys from burning the food or making it soggy."
"Oh. That would be a bad thing, wouldn't it?" Akumu said, rubbing the back of his head and smiling sheepishly.
"Hello, Captain Obvious," Jami said.
"Hey! Who are ya' and what are ya' doin' in here?"
"Well, Blondy, we could ask you the same question."
"Actually, Akumu, we can't," Jami said.
"Answer our question!"
"Hey hey hey hey hey...is it Blondy's question, or yours, Point Dexter?"
"Nice, dude," Jami said giving Akumu a high-five.
"Yay! I win!"
"My name ain't Blondy!"
"And my name isn't Point Dexter!"
"Well, smart asses, tell us your names before these ones stick," Akumu said.
"I'm Joey."
"And I'm Tristan."
"'Tristan'? Isn't that a girl's name?" Akumu asked.
"Shut up!" Akumu and Tohru laughed and then gave each other a high-five.
"You see this look? This is my 'I'm-not-even-going-to-bother-pretending-to-care' look," Jami said pointing at her face. "As in I don't give a rat's ass about what your names are."
"Nice," Tohru said.
"Thanks," Jami said smirking.
"Answer our question," Joey snapped.
"Is it your question, um Joey, or is it yours, erm Tristan?" Akumu asked.
"We already did this," Tristan said.
"Oh, don't mind him. He just likes to hear himself talk," Jami said.
"Well, who doesn't?" Akumu asked.
"Um... me?" Jami said.
"Ahem!" Joey interjected.
"Hey, we are in the middle of an important fight! Don't butt in!" Akumu yelled.
"Um, hello? We–,"
"Hello, how are you? What the hell do you want? What are you trying to sell me? I'm not gonna buy it! It's probably rigged," Akumu said.
"What are you talking about?" Tristan asked.
"No, what are you talking about, you prick?" Akumu asked pointing an accusing finger at him. Joey and Tristan looked at each other wide-eyed. "That's what I thought," Akumu said crossing his arms.
Jami slapped her forehead. Tohru, Netami, and Ayame were sweatdropping and taking bites out of the fruit while they were watching.
"We are honored guests, we are here because there was food, and we wanted to get drunk and puke our brains out," Jami said sarcastically.
"Haha! That's funny right there," Akumu said.
"He hasn't had any wine, yet he's already acting like he's drunk," Tohru said.
"He doesn't need alcohol to get drunk. For him it's different: instead of getting drunk from too much alcohol, it's from too much talking," Netami said.
"'Honored guests'? Are you sure you guys aren't servants?" Joey asked.
"Of course I'm fucking sure! You and your pinhead friend over there can even go and ask your precious Pharaoh!" Akumu yelled. "Oh, and while you're at it, go find some hair dye because your hair looks like piss!"
"Yup, that's definitely the alcohol talking," Jami said.
"Lord, I apologize for that. Be with the Pygmies. Amen," Akumu muttered.
"Nice, dude," Jami said.
"Haha! Git-R-Done! That's right."
"What the–?" Tristan stammered.
"Hey, guess what: I like tater tots!"
"Huh?" Joey and Tristan said looking at each other.
"Good, Lord. I don't care who you are, that's funny right there. If you didn't think that was funny, then get the hell outta here. Git-R-Done! That's right." Joey and Tristan then turned around and walked out of the kitchen.
"I guess they didn't think it was funny," Jami said sarcastically.
"Well, that was fun," Tohru said.
"Yeah. That was as entertaining as watching midgets run track." Ayame choked on her wine and began coughing. Netami then began hitting her on the back to help her swallow it. "Lord, I apologize for that. Help the starving Pygmies in New Guinea. Amen."
