AN: Wow it took me a long time to update. Just giving you a heads up here- I added a few more choice words that might offend a few (although so far, I get the feeling that people on like the curse whenever the fk they feel like it). School's been beating the crap out of me, and I've really got to concentrate on that right now (yes, may be my life, but sometimes school is more important than life). As always, Light's POV is the most fun to write, since he's such a pompous ass.
Anyway, enjoy!
Ah wait, before you enjoy, remember to review :-D
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Chapter 2: Confusion
Suddenly, I was no longer suspended in infinite Nothingness. In fact, there was a solid surface below my feet, and when my mind attempted to command the muscles in my body they did obey. I took a step forward and kept my face free from emotion, just out of habit from Life. However, instead of my body moving forward, the floor below me moved backward, into the dark abyss behind me.
Confusion. Something I hated during life. If you don't understand, you lose the game. In school, I was never confused. On the tests, questions that left others scratching their heads in frustration were conquered by me with ease. Even on that day where the Death Note fell from the sky (Now I realized how ironic the situation was: out of what we perceived as the heavens came this weapon of limitless power and destruction) I was in control. Any other person would have screwed up with the Death Note, by being so stupid as to use it for their own benefit and exaltation. I was different.
But then came L. Mysterious, dark, mature and immature at the same time. His genius mind made up for the social skills he lacked. Searches, suspicion, and surprises ensued. Each day I was pushed closer to the edge. But just as L was about to send me hurtling off the cliff I had worked so hard to overcome, I won.
Sorry, L. You didn't understand in time. You had to make sure there was real evidence for my actions. L wasn't my worst enemy by any stretch. In fact, if I wasn't burdened with the task of saving society from its inherent evils, we might have been friends.
It was the confusion, the loss of control. Only at the end of my road, after the lives I took to ensure my success, after all the sacrifices I was willing to make, the risks I were willing to take, did I have to truly confront what I dreaded all along.
The ground continued to pass below me.
Then footsteps echoed in the distance. It was impossible to experience the physical results of an adrenaline rush here, but the spark that ignited in my brain, the rapid fire thoughts that ensued, this was all too familiar. I did a quick 360 and saw nothing but the ground below me (if you could even consider it "ground", it was more like a comfort for humans who crossed into Death, something that reminded them of their old home) that trailed off into an unwelcoming darkness in all directions.
The footsteps continued. Now I could hear them clearly. But where the hell was this person? How come they could travel to me, but when I tired to walk I got nowhere? The scales were tipped in their favor in this realm, and I hated it. I tried to speak out for the first time. However, when I opened my mouth, nothing came out. I didn't have any vocal cords anymore, and it scared the shit out of me.
Now a shadow crossed the ground, extending from the abyss. I startled and jumped back, causing the ground to shift below me and making the shadow abruptly disappear. But just as soon as my feet touched the ground again (it took some time for me to descend back… I'm still not sure if there's any such thing as gravity or even physics that governs this realm), the shadow reappeared. And grew larger.
And then, a man was walking towards me. He was dressed in jeans and a plain long sleeved white t-shirt. A jolt of electricity struck my mind, and I'm sure that if I still had a heart, it would have jumped up my throat.
L. But there was something different about him. No longer did his slouch in his walk, nor did his arms and wrists remain at an awkward angle. His feet were still bare (no surprise), but his clothes actually seemed to fit him. And, even though I wanted to do nothing else but turn around and get the hell away from him, I looked up into his face. No dark shadows lined the bottom of his eyes. L's hair was styled in the same "I-just-rolled-out-of-bed" look, but somehow with the other improvements, it didn't look so bad (wait, what?!? There is no way I'm concentrating on his looks right now. I have more important things to worry about, for example, how to survive in Nothingness).
I wouldn't have recognized him if it were not for the fact that he were the catalyst of my downfall.
My mouth opened again. Nothing came out. L continued to advance towards me. How did this happen? Out of the millions of people that were in the same place, why him? And how was he able to move? Did I go through any changes? I raised a hand in front of my face and saw that it was completely normal (except for the fact that there was no blood or nerves running through them).
L was extremely close, close enough so that I could see his deceivingly innocent appearing onyx eyes. I tried to retreat, sort things out, and untangle myself from this web of confusion, but then I felt a hand touch my own.
And then, a voice: "Ah, Raito-kun, I see you have made it to Nothingness."
Now that just confused me even more. Obviously, there were some questions that needed to be answered, such as:
1) Why was L holding my hand?
2) How the HELL could he talk?
3) Why didn't I take my hand away?
I shook my head, dismissing all the irrelevant questions and driftings of my dead mind. I was about to jerk my hand away from L's when another one of his thoughts flowed into my mind: "I see you aren't accustomed to the ways of Death yet. See, laws of science or morality have no purpose here. Instead, this realm is controlled by a group of abstract rules, completely unconventional to our human minds. Rule #1: In order to communicate to others in Death, you have to be in physical contact with them."
That would explain why he was grasping my hand. But I still didn't understand how to speak. As if he could read my mind, L continued:
"To tell me something, you'll have to learn how to open your mind and accept that you are equal with everybody else. You have no superiority here, and neither do I. Only when you truly realize that you have no purpose here will you be able to open your mind and access mine. You'll see."
Who the hell did he think he was, talking about how we had no purpose in Death? Well of course not, that's what Life was for. However, we aren't equivalent here. There's no place in existence where people are all the same. They already tried that in Life and failed. My reasoning was simple and logical: I accomplished more in Life. Therefore, I do have superiority in Death. If this wasn't true, what did I sacrifice my life for? Why did I take on the role of Kira for the betterment of society?
A need to accomplish something is inherent in humanity. The need to feel important or wanted was present since the beginning of our existence as a species. The Bible (though it had some clear flaws) showed how Cain and Abel competed for the approval of God. When Cain's sacrifice paled in comparison to Abel's, he became consumed with rage and killed his own brother.
Why would the creator of humans instill this need to make their lives worth something if it meant absolutely nothing in the end?
I refused to believe it.
L seemed to get that I wasn't going to take any of his bullshit. He dropped my hand, and started walking away. "Wait!" I wanted to say. "Tell me about this place!" But then I was glad that I couldn't speak, because when I thought about it, begging for L's help would be the one thing I would never do.
But how did L figure out how to do everything? Surely he didn't believe that everything we worked towards in Life served no purpose? He sacrificed his own life for what he believed was right. There was no way he was going to accept that his efforts didn't mean shit in the end.
I would learn about this place myself. My intellect got me so far in Life, and I wasn't about to be conquered by Death.
I would defeat this confusion. This I knew for sure.
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Ah, as fall comes into full bloom, I can't help but hope for more reviews…. (coughcoughreviewcough).
Thanks for reading!
Ryuuzaki21
