Rei Serio had done many bad things in his life and because of that he felt a lot of guilt. Guilt had become a part of his everyday life and he knew it would never go away. It's not that he wasn't happy, no. He had a lovely wife, an adorable daughter, a son on the way and a few loyal friends, he couldn't be happier. But there was that voice in the back of his mind that said he didn't deserve any of this. He was not one of these people who believed that with time a person's sins disappeared. He knew he would have to carry them with him forever and he had accepted that long ago. But that didn't mean that living with them was easy.
Every time something bad happened Rei would blame himself even if he had nothing to do with it. He blamed himself when Mikan's memories were erased and she had to leave the academy. He blamed himself for Natsume's death. When Nobara was giving birth, he was pretty sure she would be taken from him because that's what he deserved. He blamed himself for every cold his daughter caught and for every fall, too.
''Daddy!''
He heard little Mikan's scream and he rushed to her side as fast she could. She was sitting on the ground in what used to be a beautiful garden, now all of the flowers around the child had withered. Rei couldn't believe his eyes, that wasn't happening. He picked up his crying daughter and rubbed her back.
''It's okay, Mikan. Daddy's here. There's nothing to be afraid of.''
He walked to his house where he was met at the door by a very pregnant Nobara. ''What happened? I heard Mikan scream.''
She gasped when she saw the garden. They didn't need to say anything, they both understood what was going on. They'd have to talk about this later.
He walked up the stairs to his daughter's room, lied her on the bed and tucked her in.
''Daddy, what happened?'' The little girl cried.
Rei sat on a chair next to the bed and caressed her jet black hair. ''In the stories your mother and I read to you before bed there is magic right?''
''Y-yes…''
''Well, what you did was magic. At least in a way it was. It's called an Alice.'' He explained. ''Your mother and I also have Alices. Your mother's Alice is ice and mine is… well, the same as yours. You seem to have inherited it from me. I'm so sorry, Mikan.''
Naturally, he blamed himself that his daughter had gotten this Alice. He had always feared that would happen and now that it had…
''There is no reason to apologise. It was not your fault.'' Mikan smiled sweetly at him.
''You're too kind to me.''
''It's because I love you.''
These words brought such joy to Rei. He couldn't help but smile. ''And I love you too, sweetheart.''
There was a special bond between them. And it was in moments like these that he could forget about the guilt, the only thing that mattered was his daughter.
Not long after that incident Rei got a call while he was at work. It was from the hospital- Nobara had fallen down the stairs. His boss had never seen him so worried so he had immediately let him go. While he was on his way to the hospital, he couldn't help but think that it was karma. That it had finally reached him.
Rui was sitting in the waiting room, apparently he had been with Nobara when that had happened. He looked up when he heard foorsteps and sighed when he saw Rei.
''You didn't have to rush here, you know. I only called you because I thought you should know. Nobara will be fine. Her life isn't in danger or anything.''
''And the baby?''
''I am not sure.''
Rei's face fell. If something happened to the baby, he wouldn't be able to live with it. Nobara wouldn't either. He sat down next to Rui and tried to calm down. He could only wait. There was nothing else he could do.
After half an hour a nurse called for him saying that Nobara wanted to see him. He walked into the room and towads the bed where Nobara was lying. When she saw him, she sat up and smiled.
''We're both fine, Rei. You have nothing to worry about.''
''You really are fine? Both of you?''
''Of course. Especially our boy, he's your son after all.''
After hearing that, Rei sighed in relief and fell on his knees. ''Thank god.'' He kissed Nobara's stomach and lied his head on it. ''I'm so glad you two are okay.''
''You worry too much.''
''I cannot help it. I always think that this happiness will be taken from me sooner or later because I'm a sinner and I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you.''
Tears ran down his cheeks. Nobara held his hand with one of hers and caressed his hair with the other.
''But we're here. We're not going anywhere.'' She whispered soothingly, as if talking to a child, as he continued to cry. ''You should stop thinking that we'll disappear. That won't happen. No matter what you've done in your past, you deserve a happy ending. Everyone does. And you're not alone. I promised to share your burden, didn't I?'' She continued running her hand through his dark hair.
''I just don't want you to sink into the same darkness I'm in.'' Rei said through sobs.
''That's not for you to choose. I am your wife. I will always be with you and I will help you go through this. You just have to trust me.''
''I do trust you.''
''I know you do. You're just afraid.''
No one said anything for a while until Rei felt something hit his face. He looked up at Nobara and smiled. ''He kicked! Izumi kicked!''
Nobara grinned. ''He's so eager to get out. Well, he'll have to wait a few more months.''
''I cannot wait to meet him.''
''Neither can I.''
Talking about his child made all of Rei's worries go away. ''I love you, Nobara.'' He cupped her cheeks and kissed her.
Nobara had talked with Rei about his guilt a lot of times. It hadn't disappeared before so she knew it would not go away now either. But she believed that one day he would be able to let go and be truly happy.
This was written for the Rei/Nobara week on tumblr and it takes place four years after little Mikan's birth. I really like working with vulnerable Rei who is trying to deal with his guilt. He will always have to deal with it but soon he will stop blaming himself for everything and will not be scared that his family will disappear. These things just need time. Some of you may think that he is OOC but I just cannot imagine him acting any other way.
