Kakashi turned away from the rugrats, jerking a thumb over his shoulder.
"New interns?"

Sarutobi's mouth twitched. "Not quite..." he muttered. Reaching over, he grabbed a sheaf of papers off the corner of the neatly-organized knickknack display shelf he called a desk. He fanned them out as he began flipping through them, and Kakashi petulantly counted them.

Three. Three papers. Kakashi had a feeling he knew what they were.

Kakashi looked at them again, a quick peek over his shoulder while the Hokage was busy.

Tallest the Sad looked somewhat miserable in his big-boy pants and booties. Whoever picked his clothes had good taste; red shirt and brown pants. Classic. Kakashi pegged him as the serious, reasonable type with a good grasp of his position in life, and the lack of upward momentum therein.

Middlechild the Disappointment looked like a nerd, if nerds were bad at being nerds. Kakashi lowered his expectations of the specked child on the spot, if only because he needed some way of keeping his spirits up.

The third he named Girl 1. Girl 1 wore a nice dress and clean shoes. He decided not to grow attached to Girl 1, and to broaden his horizons by going through the failures his fellow jounin had rejected.

Overall, there was a distinct lack of talent, and Kakashi decided on the spot that he'd be better off pretending they didn't exist.

"Well, then..." Kakashi said slowly. "Who's leftovers are they?"

Sarutobi shot him a patient look, before turning slightly and gazing out the window.

Oh no. Nonono. Kakashi knew this game, and he'd be damned if he fell for it.

Countering, Kakashi also turned to look, but around the room instead. Can't make him feel guilty if he isn't looking.

It certainly was a nice room. Smooth, dark paneling of Chakra Oak, with borders of Chakra Birchwood. The room itself was circular, and he could feel the Chakra pulsing under his feet. It never failed to feel comfortable, the fact that the tower was alive in a very real way. Proof, that even legends could come true. The potted plants were certainly a nice touch though. Asuma dropped one off every once in a while, Kakashi knew, whenever Asuma felt like his existence made Sarutobi sadder.

There were many, many potted plants in the room.

Kakashi looked fondly at the potted Poison Ivy he'd tricked the bearded man into buying. It had given Kurenai a rash for 3 months in places Asuma wasn't ready to take public responsibility for. Serves him right, taking advantage of Kakashi's kindness and taste in flowers to try and woo her.

Kakashi still came by every once in a while to feed it. He solicited its use shockingly often.

The rest of the room was more understated; Sarutobi kept most of his stupid gimmicks confined to his table. There was the bookshelf, the massively blatant scroll of Forbidden Jutsu that Shikaku had hung up to tweak at visiting dignitaries, the mysterious secret door in the back he threw Desk-Chuunin that got too uppity or curious into, the Anbu watchers, the Fake-Anbu watchers, and a stack of paperwork.

Kakashi sighed happily, and Sarutobi groaned in frustration.

"Kakashi..." Kakashi straightened a little in his chair. "Kakashi, those are your leftovers."

Kakashi pointed at himself, eye wide. "Me? Are you sure?"

The Hokage looked at him drily. "Quite sure."

Kakashi rapped a long finger against his chin. "Not too sure about that one..."

Sarutobi growled a little.

Kakashi threw his hands up a little. Kind of. His elbows never left his side, but it was certainly an expression of emotion. "Lord Hokage," he said, a little testily."I was told I'd be meeting my team of talented young genin at the Academy."

Bitter, who? Him? No, he certainly wasn't bitter that he'd gussied himself up for this. That his dream geniuses looked more like the nin his dream geniuses would crush underfoot on the way to greatness. That he'd spent hours, days, practicing his entrance, the test, his announcement that he'd accepted them and the resulting party that would involve no less than four dead goats.

He hasn't used more than three since he'd achieved a 2:1 win ratio against Gai. It was going to be special. He'd grown them just for this.

But no. But no. How dare they disappoint him.

"3 hours ago."

Kakashi blinked his eye. "Has it been? My, rude of you to keep me here that lo-"

"Kakashi."

He shrugged. "I see neither talent nor academy here, so what's the issue?"

"Nevertheless-"

Kakashi suddenly grinned under his mask as the Hokage realized what he had said, burying his face in his hands.

"I'm off the hook." Kakashi said smugly. The Hokage groaned into his palms.

"Kakashi, just take the damn kids."


The children filed soundlessly out of the room, and the Hokage breathed deeply.

"Young Sasuke is a problem."

Kakashi shrugged.

Sarutobi rubbed his face a little. "More than expected I mean."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "More than depression and murderous impulses?"

"Yes."

The new voice that joined the conversation came from behind. Kakashi turned to watch the secret door open and Danzo stump out.

"How's Mustachio?" Kakashi commented offhandedly. Danzo thought about it, before tilting his hand left and right. "Pretty mediocre, even for a Desk-Chuunin. Toss me someone that can speedread next time, thank you."

Kakashi rolled his eye. "Sure, I'll be careful to time how quickly the next one goes through the sensitive documents."

"Good." The bandaged man grunted. One of the Fake-Anbu dropped down and pushed in a stool for him to sit on. "Now, as it turns out, the Uchiha is both unstable, and actively a malignant influence on his classmates, I recommend-"

"You can't have his eyes." Sarutobi said wearily.

Danzo leaned over gingerly, and smashed his other hand against the table. "Two more!" He hissed. "Two more to an even twenty!"

"No."

"I can loan you mine!" Kakashi said cheerfully.

Danzo gave him a dirty look. "That's even worse. At least eighteen is an even number."

The man shuddered, and Kakashi hummed thoughtfully.

"What're you even collecting those eyes for?"

Danzo's eye sliiiiiid away. "Nothing."