AN: Hey there. I'm extremely frustrated with SWTWC and this is how I deal, by working on my music prompts. I didn't really like this chapter but I have to learn to get over myself and this in itself is a learning experience as an aspiring author.

Anywhoo I also have a Steffonie story idea (totes AU) that I'm working on and also a Batherine story idea I've been sitting on forever but I also have a Bonbekah two-shot to finish.

I need help please; a Beta would be nice. ^_^

Oh Reviews = Love btw

-Nica

Disclaimer thingy: I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES OR IT'S CHARACTERS. IT BELONGS TO L.J SMITH AND THE CW.


The Hollow

Part 2: The Unfaithful

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Caroline says a bit worriedly and bites her full lip. Bonnie shrugs tracking her friend's movements in the vanity's mirror. Caroline carefully puts down the scissors down and fixes her friend with an unsure gaze.

Tic

"You'd tell me if something was wrong right? Cus' this seems like a 'not- quite - quarter - life - crisis'" Caroline is worrying her lip with a guilty expression plastered on her face, like if she has realized she has not been being the best of friends.

Bonnie wants to snap at her; to tell her something she will most likely regret later but she isn't that selfish or angry. Her anger has seemed to dissipate as soon as it comes lately.

She can't hold on to anything. Not even her own meager existence. Classic.

She smiles at Caroline through the mirror, not quite ready to turn to look at her friend. She feels as if all the lies she's built will tumble down on top of her, stifling her. Bonnie's chest tightens and she vaguely wonders if she can drown on air.

Tic

"Of course Caro; I would tell you,"

##

Say what you wanted to say.

She admires the blonde bob that frames her face and smiles at Caroline who squeals and throws her arms around her friend. It actually looked really good, she had thought that the light colour would look weird against her dark skin when Caroline had suggested it but she now realized she was light skinned enough to pull it off.

Caroline snapped a picture of them and she chuckled when she saw her tweeting it with the hash tag 'blondeshavemorefun'

Mean what you wanted to mean.
I'm listening, so be real with me.

"I've never known you to be the one who refuses to speak. You've never held anything back from me until now," Bonnie's eyes flashed and she stepped back from him; their relationship may have changed from reluctant allies to friends but she hated the knowing tone to his voice. Because he didn't. He didn't know

Tic

"Don't Damon," Bonnie shook her head and clenched her fists before storming out of the boarding house.

What were you thinking?

She hasn't told anyone as yet. Even when she resents her friends she still puts their happiness first. Bonnie shakes her head and chuckles humorlessly at the thought. She's numb when Jeremy twirls her blonde hair around his finger and smiles down at her; planning their future. She could lie to herself all she wants and say she only wants her friends to be happy but it's more about her than anything else.

They'll taint it. Warp it. Elena will blame herself and make it all about her. Caroline would cry and beat herself up about it. She wants peace in her death.

Probably she'll plan her own funeral. She winces, too soon.

I can see it in your eyes,

A week ago she had finally caved and went to Dr. Fell for a checkup. Her face was professional and detached but Bonnie could see the concern.

"What happened Bonnie? Is this something –"

"Magical?" Bonnie supplies helpfully. She shrugs "I would be able to tell you if you told me what was wrong,"

You're scared for your life.

And I would be too if I was you,

Meredith frowns "Some of your organs are missing. I don't even know how you're even sitting here right now. You're... supposed to be in the morgue." She knew it was bad, from the countdown of her internal clock but not that bad. She pulls away from herself and her unnecessary emotions and concentrates on being stoic.

Tic

Bonnie refrains from wincing. "Bonnie what's going on?"

She stands "It's nothing to worry about," When she moves to speak Bonnie cuts her off "It's like you said I'm supposed to be dead but I'm not. My magic is keeping me alive – and it will for the rest of my life if it has to," The lies are bitter on her tongue but she swallows and forges on.

I would be too if I was you!

She leaves Meredith standing there struck after she makes the older woman promise to not breathe a word about this to anyone.

"You're not a burden Bonnie, your friends should know,"

Bonnie shakes her head "I'll feel that way and I don't want to. Just let me be selfish. It's not like I'll drop down dead any time soon anyway," She jokes.

"Just please Meredith… don't say anything,"

Dr. Fell nods slowly.

Say what you wanted to say,
Mean what you wanted to mean
.

Tic

Bonnie's angry yet she's not. She shouldn't be surprised, she hasn't been investing much into her relationship she shouldn't fault him for seeking attention from someone else.

Tic

She's angry because he can't admit it. Admit his mistakes and be honest with her. She should probably let it go and just make him leave but he's the perfect out for all her shoved aside emotions. She's been disregarding them and ignoring how she feels in favor of some modicum of peace but she's can't take it anymore as witnessed by the flickering lights.

I'm listening, so be real with me.
Say what you wanted to say,
Mean what you wanted to mean.
I'm listening, so be real with me.

I'll rip every single word
Right out of your dirty mouth.

"Just say it Jere," She says through clenched teeth and he holds his hands up in a placating gesture which only makes her angrier.

"Bonnie I think you need to calm down. I'll leave and we can rationally talk about this later," He moves to leave but finds the front door locked.

"Bonnie, let me out,"

I'll rip every single word
Right out of your dirty mouth!

Don't test me, I'll do it.
I have all of the evidence, I'll prove it.

"Just say it Jeremy," Bonnie pleads and then she's tugging him towards her with her magic.

Don't test me, I'll do it.
I have all of the evidence!
For better or for worse,
It never meant a thing!

Bonnie tightens her mental hold on Jeremy unnecessarily and he gasps, flailing about for air. She thinks that she's like to keep him suspended in the air until all the air leaves his lungs and his lips, that he spent hours using on various parts of her body, turned blue. She also wonders what would happen if she flooded his lungs continuously with air. Would he drown on air?

How many days have I wasted,
Building you up while you tear me down?
I swear the next time you need me,
I won't be around!

Bonnie sees a flash of fear in his eyes and she stops, dropping him unceremoniously on the floor and shoving her hot, burning anger down. It shimmers under her skin, calling out to her to unleash it again.

Tic

She's tempted but she folds her arms in from of her chest and swallows audibly, pushing the anger until she thinks she'll choke on it then it's no longer there within her reach. She has stored it away with the rest of her hurt, fear and feelings of abandonment.

Everything we had is gone,
It was gone in the blink of an eye.
Pack all your bags,
I've never been so ready to say goodbye.

She doesn't look at him anymore. She lets the numbness tingle over her body and she orders him to leave in a monotone voice, one she doesn't believe belongs to her in that moment.

"Leave now,"

Love, hate, pleasure and pain.
These are the words I could never explain,
All I know is you made me feel every one
And it will never happen again!

"Bonnie," Jeremy tries again and she sighs, visibly tired of his presence. She was a hypocrite yes because she was lying to everyone as well but this was different. She honestly believed that they would be happier without wondering when their best friend is about to drop down dead.

How am I to blame
For all your mistakes?
You gave up the second you looked away.

"Leave Jeremy because every second you stand there, the more ways I can kill you runs through my head and it looks more and more appealing."

She regrets the words as soon as she says it because she knows he will quote it directly for his sister who will never let her live it down but she forges on none-the less. Consequences be damned.

Tic

"I hope you're really happy with your ghost,"

I really hope you got what you wanted,
Now wash your hands clean of me.
Won't you wash your hands clean of me?

It's been weeks since Bonnie has broken up with and threatened Jeremy. He sends her longing glances in the hallways and tries to talk to her but she snubs him.

She should probably forgive him so then she could be spared the phone calls from Elena as she tentatively tests the waters on her brother's – correction – cousin's behalf or the speeches from Caroline about how much she understood and how it hurts a lot when you're in love.

But was she? She didn't really think so. What Jeremy inspired was a great amount of like but she wouldn't go as far as say she was in love with little Jeremy Gilbert.

Tic

She's not angry anymore, she hasn't been since he had stumbled out the door the other day into the rain. Just as soon as the door closed with a distinct 'click' her body sags and the angry that seems to have been boiling under her skin is gone, replaced by a cool feeling.

She's shivering.

I forgive you,
I just want you to leave.
For better or for worse,
It never meant a thing.

##

He stops her by her car a few weeks later, after she had managed to convince Elena that she wasn't angry anymore, that she just had to work out some things with herself and then she'd work it out with him.

She had a flashback to an ear pressed against hers and an alcohol bottle hanging from between her fingers. Her body was hot and she made small whining noises when she felt fingers brush her core.

She lets the images fade and musters a small strained smile for the boy and before he could finish his routine of shuffling uneasily and the guilty look playing across his features before his shoves his hands in his pocket and looks down at his feet; she says "I forgive you,"

"W-w...Really?" He says a bit surprised and Bonnie nods at him, turning to open her car. "Can... we try again Bonnie. I made a mistake but I love you and -" He stops when she pulls out a shopping bag and he looks confused for a second before accepting it "She bought him something?" He wonders before peering in and seeing some of his stuff he had left over at her house.

"Bonnie- Wha?"

She stops him "I just want you to leave, We're done,"

Bonnie looks down at her hand and twists the promise ring he had given her off of her finger and holds it out for him.

Tic

"Bonnie, what. I made a mistake. I love you," He looks close to tears "Don't leave me,"

"For better or worse," She whispers and Jeremy looks as if he's going to throw up because that's the exact same words he had said to her when her Grams had died. He would always be there for her.

What a joke. He wasn't there when she lost her Grams a second time, he was too busy shoving his tongue down a ghost's throat. The image it conjures, surprisingly enough doesn't have an effect on her. Her whole body is humming; a tell tale sign of emotional numbness for her.

She sighs.

"It never meant a thing...what a shame Jeremy," Bonnie tilts her head and her short, blonde locks whip against her cheeks in the wind. She presses the ring into his palm a little harder than necessary and closes his fingers around it.

"I could have grown to love you," She doesn't gauge his response because she doesn't care. She just gets into her car and peels out of the parking lot leaving a shocked Jeremy in her wake.

Tic