"Foster?"
Jumping, Gillian hadn't realized they'd stopped or that they were there. At some point, she'd leaned against the window, her breath fogging the glass. She felt like they'd been sitting in the car for hours. Her back hurt, muscles tense, and more than anything she wanted to move, get out of the car, go. Wanted to rush through the doors, find them, find him. But her hands shook, palms sweaty, and she could feel the panic begin to seep back in. Breaths shallow, the edges of her vision began to dim.
Loker unbuckled, and scooted to the middle. Leaning between the two seats he shared a look with Torres before they went back to staring at Foster. They watched the terror set in. Her eyes were unfocused, breath short, she clamped down on the armrest with her left hand, her right balled into a fist.
Silently, they argued over whether or not to let it run its course. Torres shook her head, eyes wide, brows down. Loker only shrugged as he reached out a hand and gently set it on Gillian's shoulder. She jolted, her head jerking a fraction of an inch toward him, eyes never leaving the dashboard. "We're going to go in. Torres is gonna park and meet us."
Nodding absentmindedly, she opened her door, letting the cold air flow in. Stepping out, she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, willing a calm to claim her. For a split second, she hoped it was a dream, a nightmare she would wake from safe in her bed, but as she felt Loker grab her arm and gently guide her inside she knew it wasn't.
She wasn't going to wake up. Wasn't going to find him downstairs still working on the couch or silently slipping through their bedroom door because it was well into the early morning hours and he was trying not to wake her. No, none of that was going to happen.
Maybe it wouldn't ever again.
As the thought crossed her mind, she gasped, not realizing she'd stopped breathing.
Loker watched her with concerned eyes as they reached the sliding doors. Knowing there wasn't much more he could do, he kept her on a clear path.
The motorized doors pulled back, allowing them entrance, and Gillian bolted away heading for the lone nurse. He felt slightly bad for the unsuspecting woman, an agitated, concerned Foster had the potential to scar anyone for life depending on the level of cooperation they were willing to give.
It was a rare sight, and Loker was not embarrassed to admit he was fascinated. He stood back as the nurse pointed out directions for her. A thought struck him as saw her start off down the hall, what would happen to the rest of them if the worst happened? Had happen?
He didn't have much time to ponder the questions that were wandering through his mind. Torres came out of nowhere, and began tugging him along. They caught up with Gillian in the ICU, both swearing she had jogged part of the way there, where the nurses were just as impatient as they were rude.
"I'm looking for Cal Lightman," Gillian rushed, her voice cracking as she spoke his name.
Lazily, the nurse looked up, her beady eyes inspecting Gillian. Clasping her tiny hands together, she leaned on the desk in front of her, scrutinizing the taller woman again before typing the name she was given in. "Are you family?" she squeaked.
"Yeah – yes, I'm his wife." She didn't hesitate to answer; most already thought, even said so if they were brave enough. It didn't feel like a lie, not to her. In fact, it wasn't. She was merely waiting for him to ask. Right then, she hesitated, questioning whether she should have let the Christmas proposal stand for what she knew it was.
She didn't want any big gestures or eloquent speeches. She didn't care if he asked while they were working, casually slipping it into the conversation or while they had lunch. It didn't matter.
The curly haired woman's head shot up, her eyes narrowing. Her tone condescending as she announced, "I already let his wife and daughter in."
Everything stopped for a spilt second. If she hadn't known it was impossible she would've sworn the world stopped for just that moment before everything blasted forward again. Her mind scattered to a thousand different places, and she found her mouth too parched to speak. She couldn't even close it. It just hung, slack, too shocked by the sentence uttered to move. Her head snapped to the right when she felt herself being moved to the side.
"You must mean his daughter and ex-wife," Torres stepped in.
How could that have slipped her mind? Emily had called. She'd been with her mother. So, naturally, if the girl was there so was her mother. She almost couldn't believe she'd had that minor oversight, but was exceedingly thankful to Torres for taking over. Her head wasn't in it, and it was taking too long to get to him. She just wanted to see he was alright. Breathing. Alive. Still with her.
The nurse eyed them both suspiciously. "And are you?"
Torres smiled brightly at the woman; it was fake, but the overly plump woman would never know. "Co-worker." Wearily, the short woman watched them, and Torres could see she wasn't buying a word of it. Even though it was the truth, the crotchety nurse wasn't planning on letting them through.
"Only family is allowed back."
"We just went over this, she is family," Ria retorted, jerking her thumb in Gillian direction. The overweight woman didn't move. Rolling her eyes and letting out an exaggerated puff of air, Ria cleared her throat. "Fine, if you don't believe that, her name's Gillian Foster and she'll be his emergency contact. Can we go back now?"
The nurse stared at her, not blinking. Deciding she wasn't going to give in, Torres refused to look away. Finally caving, the woman's eyes flicked back to the computer screen, and Ria's head gave an almost microscopic nod as she puffed out her chest. Letting her shoulders drop, she swayed back and forth on her feet, impatient to leave. Looking at Gillian, Torres was a little stunned at how pale she'd gotten in such a short amount of time.
"Down the hall, first door on the left."
Ria smiled again, tapping her fingertips on the counter. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" Grabbing Gillian's hand, she led her down the hall, Loker following close behind. Stopping in front of the shut door, she softly patted Gillian's shoulder, letting her know they were there. "We'll be out here if you need us."
She didn't respond, suddenly captivated by the pattern the grain made in the wooden door. This far she'd managed to keep her eyes dry, but standing in front of the door, his door, she almost couldn't stop the salty tears from breaking free. Snuffling, she wiped at the lone escapee, angry that she hadn't been able to keep them at bay longer.
For a second, Loker and Torres were tempted to throw in their two cents, encouraging words maybe, but held back as she reached for the handle, releasing a shaky breath. They watched in silence as she plastered on her brightest smile, and turned the knob.
The door swung open to reveal an absurdly white room, three occupants filling the space. Stepping through the doorway, she quietly waiting for his attention, knowing for a minute it was enough just to see he was there. She watched him and Emily, finding it slightly relaxing to see them together. He held her hand, and smiled, his eyes slowly opening and closing.
She didn't notice his icy eyes on her until he spoke. "Hiya, love."
