A/N: Hey guys! Megan and Danni are back for another random Kung Fu Panda oneshot! This collection may have been born in Chemistry, but this particular oneshot was born…actually, I think this was Chemistry, too. We did have quite a bit of free time in that class around the time we started brainstorming these…and quite a few were brainstormed around the same time…anyhoo…
Disclaimer: Sorry, nope. If we had our way, Kung Fu Panda 2 would have ended with a kiss between Tigress and Po. It's gonna happen…right?
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"Okay, you all, your DNA tests have come in."
"Um, Shifu…what's DNA?"
"DNA is deoxyribonucleic acid, you dumb panda."
"Shut up, Shen! I asked Shifu!"
"…It's deoxyribonucleic acid."
"Thank you, Shifu."
"Sure, Po."
The eight kung fu masters stood in silence, looking down at their results. That is, silence until Shen let out an anguished scream.
"What is it, Shen?"
"According to this test, I am…a little girl!"
"No way!"
"Yes way! I'd always thought that I was a boy. I mean, we're in a children's movie, so you can't really tell, but I'd assumed-"
"You can't assume anything, Shen!"
"Yeah, well…I'm voiced by Gary Oldman, for fireworks' sake! Gary! Oldman! Man! See?" Mantis chuckled.
"Oh yeah, Mantis?" Tigress said. "Let's see what your DNA test says about you." Tigress looked at Mantis's sheet and furrowed her brow. She looked back down at her own paper. Back to Mantis's paper. Back to her paper. Back to Mantis's paper.
"What is it? Is something wrong?" Po inquired?
"Not wrong…just…weird."
"How so?" Great, now Shifu's curious.
"According to these results, Mantis is my older sister…who is a man…we share a mother…and I'm a tiger, and he…she…it is a praying mantis…" (A/N: praying mantis females eat their mates…R.I.P. Mr. Tigress's daddy) Every eye in the room darted to Mantis.
"Hey, don't look at me; our parents were just really talented."
"Like ohmigod, guys! You guys are, like, twinsies~!"
"Uh…Shen…?" Shifu was concerned.
"Hey! I'm older…and a praying mantis."
"Like, ohmigod! Fraternal twinsies~!"
"But I'm old—"
"Shhh~." Shen placed one finger…talon…thing over Mantis's small mouth.
"But I'm—" Mantis mumbled until Shen once again cut him/her/it off with another
"Shhh~." Tigress smiled, despite herself. Then Po ruined the moment when he opened his mouth. No, not to eat a dumpling (or seven), but to say…
"heh heh…twinsies." Then Tigress punched something much softer than the ironwood trees.
Take that last comment how you will…
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A/N: So, how was it? I can see the traffic stats, there are quite a lot of people coming here. We just want to know what you think about the oneshots . It doesn't have to necessarily be praise, but we do want to know what's horrible, what's funny, and what's going on in your minds. (Thank you, Guest, for our first and, so far, only review!) Also, when we wrote this, Megan thought it would be funny to make Shen start talking like a stereotypical teenage girl; Dannidoesn't really talk like that. Also, when we wrote the ending, we were thinking about his stomach (well, we did just mention him eating…), but we later realized that it could be taken…er…differently, so feel free to take that however you want. Once again, reviews are appreciated, and I'm going to shut up now, because I think this author's note is longer than the oneshot. Bye~!
