Simon and Eleanor were on the smartphone when an email alert came up. "What could this be about?" she asked.
"Dear everyone,
I need you to add more rules since I will be out of town for the weekend in a few weeks. Anyone can contribute except Alvin, since he does not follow then anyway.
Thanks,
Dave"
Eleanor smirked at Simon before saying, "You are so good with rules, why don't you write a whole section by yourself?"
Simon replied, "Possibly, I just have so much going on between the science olympiad and the math team that I might not have time."
Eleanor said that she could help, so they started writing the list together.
11. Do not let anyone play console games
Simon: I still remember that time Alvin shattered the television screen during Wii Bowling
Brittany: Remember when you nearly broke the PS2 remote because you couldn't see the screen and thought we were still on the mini game in Dragon Ball?*
Simon: I can never see the screen regardless. I specifically asked you to let Jeanette and I know about round changes
Alvin: Didn't the background music change?
Simon: No, not even during the mini game
12. Ignore Alvin if he randomly sings
Alvin: heaven ain't close in a place like this, I said uh heaven ain't close in a place like this...
Brittany: I just really hate the Killers
Alvin:..bring it back now, bring it back now tonight
Alvin: I got room with you and any way
Brittany: Please don't
Alvin: And somebody told me, that you had a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend, in February of last year
Brittany: He does it for attention
13. Do not sympathise with Alvin when he gets in trouble
Brittany: These rules are getting harder
Alvin ^in punishment crate^ The long and winding road, that leads to your door, I always travel here, I've seen that road before
Simon: Should I get the Mishkya** cage?
Brittany: He's not that dumb
Alvin: Don't leave me standing here, lead me to your door
Brittany: Please get it Simon
Simon: ^goes down to lab^
Alvin: Many times I've been alone, and many times I've cried
14. Do not use self-defence in school
Simon: I learned this the hard way. Alvin has not learned yet in any way
Alvin: But remember when Theodore was getting bullied?
Simon: You mean every day?
Alvin: That one time...
Simon: Which one do you mean? We have been in school for two years, Alvin. That is more than 360 days
Alvin: The time Ryan and the boys...
Simon: Can you be more specific? They do it multiple times a day
Alvin: ?
Simon: The humans get the wrong message
15. Alvin cannot sleep alone
Alvin: Why? I have my own bed
Simon: I do not want you getting into any shenanigans while we are asleep
Theodore: I don't want to be woken up. Let me sleep
Simon: We do not have desks anyway, so my bed is now my desk
Alvin: So you're then one who strangles me in my sleep
Simon: ?
Alvin: You try to kill me every night...
Simon: To be fair, you deserve it
Alvin: Hey!
16. Alvin cannot attend school sports games
Alvin: Why?
Brittany: I love seeing the cheerleaders, most of them are my friends
Simon: You keep yelling and jeering to the point where everyone else on the bleachers is visibly embarrassed
Alvin: They're doing it too!
Eleanor: I don't think you should take your insults from Simon. Ryan was mad at you for a month after you called him a melanin-deficient, melanoma-ridden Anglophone from the sidelines
Simon: I did not mention melanoma, nor do I have any idea where Alvin got it from. I mentioned sunburns, which increase the risk of skin cancers in general
17. Do not let Let it Bleed and Let it Be play similtaneously
Eleanor: It lets ears bleed, but doesn't let them be
Simon: Alvin thought the perfect compromise was whatever letters were left in the Stones' version after taking out the word be***
Alvin: Let it led, let it led, let it led, let it led
Jeanette: The poor syntax makes me stressed
18. Everyone must finish their homework for the next day before having fun
Simon: This rule is really meant for Alvin, everyone else does it
Brittany: Does this apply when you and Jeanette have fun doing homework?
Simon: I am not sure, Eleanor wrote the title of this one
Eleanor: I meant to do write do their own thing, but that was too long
19. Curfew for everyone is 7 o'clock
Alvin: Why? There's so much to do
Eleanor: Dave made me in charge of enforcing curfew, so I can set the time. I thought it would be easier if it was two hours before lights-out
Brittany: My little sister does a decent job, but Simon would have the curfew be close to four o'clock
Eleanor: In the afternoon?
Brittany: Yes
20. Always keep the Alvin police squad fully charged
Brittany: How do you charge a police squad?
Jeanette: They are drones
Alvin: Let me guess, Simon built them
Jeanette: Not really, he just programmed them to receive GPS signals
Alvin: So I have a chip? ^unplugs APS^
Simon: ^comes into room^I told you to keep these charged
Jeanette: They also have mechanical limbs to bring you home, Alvin. We bought them from an Amazon pilot program when they were updating their drones
Simon: I had to add a steel coating and rubber grips in order to strengthen those limbs, since you originally escaped from them
*This is referring to a mini game that exists in the loading main game on one Dragonball Z game for PS2. In the minigame, you use the nunchuck of the remote to reduce the mass of pink creatures and the faster you do it, the better. My brother, a Dragonball superfan, had this among several games
**The main character in Dostoevsky's The Idiot, Prince Mishkya. Mishkya is a mild diminutive of Dmitri, and the use of a diminutive name as automatic indicates his lack of experience, knowledge or extreme fondness to others
***The Rolling Stones (the band) are often referred to as the Stones by classic rock fans. The title song of the album of the same name is a spoof of the Beatles Let it Be,and released in 1971
Author's note: Please send me more rules! I need your help. I will take any and all ideas
