"That's insane," Barry said.

"I've become her before."

"When you had dark matter inside you!"

"I've become her without it," Caitlin said. "When I was a kid."

"What?"

"It's true," Cisco said. "When we were still dealing with DeVoe, we vibed a repressed memory she had. She looked like a mini Killer Frost."

"I was terrified in that memory," Caitlin said. "If we can recreate that terror…" she looked up at them and smiled. "Maybe I can coax Killer Frost out."

"So you want to put yourself in danger, in the off chance you get her back. Caitlin, I can't let you do that."

"I'll do it on my own if I have to."

She could see Barry running through possibilities, thinking of the consequences of each course of action. She was doing the same, and hoping he didn't go through with the most basic way of keeping her safe: locking her in the lab.

She looked at Cisco. His expression was serious but kind of sad as he looked at her, and she was positive he knew she had gotten whammied on purpose. Please, she tried to tell him from her expression. Help me.

Cisco's mouth dipped a little, but he didn't give her away. "Barry, can I talk to you for a sec?" he asked.

Caitlin sat on the swivel chair by the desk as she waited for them to come back in. She was short enough to swing her legs and not touch the floor. She'd forgotten how enjoyable it could be, and was momentarily distracted by the familiar motion. "C'mon Cisco," she said under her breath. Because she knew Cisco well enough to know he was convincing Barry to go along with her crazy idea. Barry may not have seen it, and Cisco may not have liked what she'd done, but Cisco knew how devastated she was by losing Killer Frost. Especially recently, after finding out Frost was a part of her that long. She needed her back. Cisco knew that.

She started to turn to the door when she heard motion, and then she was moving, and a firm hand was being held against her throat. She was pressed against the far wall by a blur of yellow, vibrating too quickly to see –

Fear made her throat close, her body tremble. Her breathing became shallower as it got harder to draw breath. She could feel the adrenaline start pumping through her, and a trace of excitement lightened the terror.

Until she realized nothing was happening, and logic started to pierce through the fear. "Barry."

The hand against her throat withdrew, and Barry took off his mask as he stopped vibrating. "Well that was anticlimactic," Cisco said from the doorway.

Caitlin breathed out slowly as her nerves started to settle. "I don't understand. That should have worked."

"Cait," Barry said gently. She realized he had changed out of the awful yellow suit, and was back in his everyday clothes. "I'll try to help you, but you have to know this might not work."

"Barry-." Cisco said.

"I'm not giving up yet," Barry said, over Cisco's protest. He locked eyes with Caitlin. "You know I don't give up that fast. I just need to make sure you realize that it might not work like you want it to."

"I do," Caitlin said. She looked down in embarrassment as she felt a burning sensation behind her eyes. She was definitely feeling emotions much more potently, in this state. "But why didn't it work?" she asked quietly. It should have worked.

"Maybe you weren't scared enough," Cisco said. "Part of you was expecting Barry to do something, so maybe subconsciously you knew you were safe."

She managed to keep the tears from falling, and walked back to the desk. Cisco put his hand on her shoulder, but it didn't help her feel any better. If anything it made her feel more helpless than before.


Barry and Cisco took it in turns to try scaring her the rest of that day. They did jump-scares, popping out from rooms as she passed. They rigged the cortex to describe emergency situations in the city. The nuclear detonation one hit a little too close to home. Barry was with Iris, visiting Joe and Cecile at the hospital.

Cisco put on a good show, appearing freaked out by the radiation level that was increasing on the screen. At first her heart slowed, so it seemed to almost stop, but that only lasted a few seconds. Though the screen showed the lead-up to a nuclear detonation, there was none of the other activity they saw when they got a hit. She knew it was fake. Caitlin stared at the numbers, still increasing.

"What do we do?" Cisco asked.

Her throat was closing up again, but for a much different reason than when Barry had scared her. Cisco was silent until he walked closer to look at her, and then his voice was quiet. "Oh, Caitlin."

Her lip was quivering, and before she could start to compose herself she was crying. Cisco turned her around, pulling her into a comforting embrace. Caitlin looked at the computer monitor, watching the numbers slow to a stop. The last time Caitlin had remembered what Frost had done – the only time, really – Frost had admitted she cared about her. She had tried to keep her safe from a nuclear bomb.

So the fake radiation readings didn't scare her. They reminded her, painfully and abruptly, that Frost was gone, and with the increased sensitivity she was experiencing… she couldn't hide the grief she still felt so plainly.

Cisco held her tightly as she cried. It was the hardest she'd cried since she'd lost Frost, simply because she hadn't allowed herself to. And as she did now, she decided she couldn't let herself do it again.

Even if it did make her feel a little better.


Caitlin couldn't go back to her apartment that night. She didn't look old enough to drive. Plus, she wasn't tall enough to drive her car. So Cisco offered to either take her to his place or stay with her at the lab. She tried to tell him she would be fine on her own. She'd slept in the lab before. But he was adamant about staying with her, so she agreed to go to his place. That way he could be comfortable in his own bed, at least, and wouldn't worry about her.

She knew it was irrational, but something about laying on his couch, in complete darkness, made her a little uneasy as she was falling asleep. Maybe it was childishness creeping back to her, from the stress of the day, but she was glad Cisco was in the next room. It would have been much harder to relax by herself, in the lab.

When she woke up the next morning she felt better. "Morning," she greeted Cisco, when he came out of his bedroom.

He looked at her funny for a second before smiling. "Someone slept on the right side of the bed."

She chuckled. "Thanks for letting me stay over. Are you ready to go back to S.T.A.R. Labs?"

"Coffee run first."

Caitlin stood a little straighter, perking up. "I want one too."

They got in Cisco's car and drove to Jitters. Cisco ordered his drink, and then Caitlin asked for hers.

The barista looked to Cisco. "Can she have coffee?"

Caitlin pressed her lips together as Cisco smiled gleefully. "Yeah, she can," he said. When the barista went to make their coffees, Cisco turned to look at her.

"Don't," she said, before he could start.

He was quiet, but she didn't like how amused he was. Especially when they got their coffees and she took a big sip – and practically choked. The bitter drink didn't smell good, and tasted awful. She gagged after swallowing it. "That's disgusting!" she whispered.

Now Cisco actually laughed. "Your taste buds must have gone back to the way they used to be."

Caitlin frowned at her coffee.


Barry was already at S.T.A.R. Labs when she and Cisco got there.

"I was thinking," Barry said. "Maybe you were right about facing a meta."

Caitlin felt her eyes widen. "Really?"

He didn't look happy about it, but he nodded. "I'll take you with me whenever our next meta alert is. Unless it's Pacifier."

Caitlin felt like smiling. Being out in the field was much more likely to succeed than the boys' attempts to scare her the day before (however admirable they had been). Cisco chose that moment to fill Barry in on the events of the morning. She tried to defend herself, but even she had to smile.

"You have to tell the others, after all this," Barry said to Cisco.

"Dude, I was already -."

Suddenly Barry and Cisco disappeared.

She could hear voices, and realized the door hadn't been closed all the way. She crept closer, still trembling, and gripped the edge of the door as she leaned closer to listen.

"She fully changed this time," Dad was saying. "White hair, blue eyes."

"What happened?"

"A car started to hit her when she was on her bike, and there was a kind of explosion. I'm not sure, but Caity's only okay because of that change. We need to talk to her about it."

"Why would we do that?" Mom asked.

"She saw her reflection, Carla. She knows something's going on."

Daddy, Caitlin thought. He'd told her to stay in her room, after picking her up and rushing her inside. Her bike had been abandoned on the road. She'd kept reaching for her hair, pulling a piece out so she could see it. Every time she saw the white color of it, it became harder to breathe, until she'd had to run out, searching for Daddy so he could help her.

"She's not ready to know," Mom said, using her science voice.

Dad sighed. "Maybe you're right."

Caitlin's eyes widened. Daddy wasn't supposed to say that. He had to reason with Mom, and tell Caitlin what he was hiding from her. He always told her the truth. Why didn't he want to now?

Her grip on the edge of the door tightened, and the door moved closer to her. She jumped slightly when it creaked, and heard footsteps coming closer. The door swung into the study, and Caitlin looked up at Mom as she lowered her hand.

"Caitlin, what are you doing?"

"Mom, what's wrong with me?" she asked.

Mom shook her head. "There's nothing wrong with you. You just had a big scare."

Caitlin walked past her, looking up at Dad. He seemed uncomfortable. "Daddy, you said something's wrong. I heard you."

He looked at Mom for a second, and then kneeled down next to Caitlin. "Mom's right, Caity. You know how adrenaline can affect you."

As these words sank in, coming from Daddy's mouth but sounding nothing like him, something in Caitlin shifted. It felt like there were pins and needles in her hands and fingers, and she felt so angry. "You're lying," she said, her face deadly serious. Dad looked shocked at her change in tone.

"Caity -."

"You said something's wrong," Caitlin said, standing with her face inches from his. "What did you mean, fully changed?" The pins and needles were becoming fireworks in her hands, which were shaking with anger and fear. "Why won't you tell me?" she yelled.

"Caitlin, calm down," Dad said, touching her arm. He was looking at her with fear, and she was glad. She shouldn't be the only one to be afraid. She shouldn't be afraid at all, and wouldn't be, if he would just explain!

The fireworks in her hands stopped exploding when she felt a sharp prick in her arm. She looked away from Dad to see Mom next to her, putting down a shot. Mom's hand was tight on her shoulder as she felt her balance tip.

"She'll be alright," Mom said. She looked at Caitlin, meeting her eyes. "We'll figure this out."

Caitlin's anger faded. Everything faded, even Dad's arms around her as she fell back into darkness.

"Caitlin. Caitlin!"

Caitlin gasped as she landed on the floor of the cortex. Barry and Cisco were next to her, mirrored expressions of shock on their faces. Caitlin inhaled shakily as she looked up at them.

"What just happened?"

A/N: There's chapter two! I'll try to update once a week. Just so you know, the main character interactions in this story will be between Caitlin, Cisco, and Barry. Other team members may make appearances, but won't be too involved. Let me know what you think of the story so far, and thanks for all the support!