Several months earlier…
"Tokio! Tokio, look who's coming!"
The scantily dressed women clustered around the bamboo bars of the giant cage, eager to catch glimpses of the approaching men. I had been sitting quietly at the farthest corner of the display enclosure, until I saw that familiar streak of blue and white uniform strolling down the street. He had brought quite a few men with him this time, which I assumed he had planned, so as to keep the other women from eavesdropping by our door.
As the officers toyed with the girls in the pen, I stood silently and retreated back into the main house, following a routine I could've done blind and deaf. The mistress of the brothel stalked and pestered me like the old hen that she was, threatening that whippings were in store if I didn't make good money out of him this time. The room was prepared, the futons laid out, the lanterns lit, the sake hot. I also brought up a tray of steaming tea, knowing full well that my particular customer didn't care much for rice wine.
Tucking my kimono against my shins, I folded me knees beneath me and gracefully sat. I had just enough time to smile to myself before the door slid open and he walked inside.
"Tokio."
When he closed the door behind him, I stood and moved over to him and did the most untraditional thing that would have given the headmistress a heart attack if she saw.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly.
"Hello, Okita."
He squeezed back harder until I squeaked as the last bit of air left my lungs.
"It's good to see you again," he said kindly and pulled away so we could properly see each other.
Okita was a very handsome young man, hardly 23, and yet he was one of the most skilled swordsman in the entire war. He was the youngest commanding officer that I'd ever heard of, and perhaps in the entire history of Japan, but he didn't boast the fact like most of his superiors did. Here at the brothel, he was more renowned for his beautiful grey eyes, slender, strong build and charming manners. I was not blind to this, nor was I ignorant of the fact that I was envied by every woman here for being his "favorite."
I turned away from his gentle face and kneeled next to the ceramic teakettle. "I couldn't help but notice you brought your men with you this time."
He sighed heavily, removing his katana before he sat. "They could use a little…distraction. We're actually on our ways south to meet with the other squads. It's not a particularly long journey, but they need a break from the daily blood baths we seem to be taking lately."
He took the steaming cup of tea gratefully, and I saw him grin when his calloused hands brushed my silky fingertips.
"Well, you Shinsengumi aren't exactly popular," I told him, watching him casually drink.
He smiled into his cup. "We're not trying to be. We're just trying to keep a sense of justice alive through the course of this war… for all of our sakes. People have already seen what becomes of a country that's succumbed to evil and greed. But someday, they'll be living in the light of peace again. So we must preserve it…whatever the cost."
Staying quiet was a good way to allow him to vent if need be, and it also disguised my ignorance, which always seemed to magnify when I was in his presence.
He stayed quiet for a long time, staring into the shallow depths of his tea. I wondered what he thought about—and why he sought sanctuary here, in this room with me, rather than amongst his comrades. What was permitted here, that was forbidden elsewhere?
Eventually, I saw his eyes lighten as his thoughts dissipated.
"You tired?" I asked.
He looked up at me and grinned wisely, as if there was something lurking behind his kind eyes and polite smiles.
"Tokio, I would not come all this way to visit you, just to fall asleep. If that's what I wanted, I would've stayed at an inn."
"But what you need, Okita, is a warm meal and a good night's rest."
"Yes, mother." He chuckled. "How've you been?"
"Bored. Hungry. Tired. Pick one. Not much different from an animal locked in a cage."
He looked hurt. "Don't say things like that."
Part of me couldn't believe I was having this intimate conversation with him. Then again, this was Okita Souji, my only friend in the world.
"True things. It's been this way for a long time."
"I know," he said, "but reminding me makes me wish I could set you free somehow."
In such a profession as mine, you learned to barricade your heart, or you risk losing it to the underworld. His words were the only ones that managed to crack the iron gates I had built around my own, though he didn't seem to realize it.
At least, I didn't think so, until he gave me one of those grins that looked too wise for his face.
We talked well into the early morning hours, covering topics like political feuds, dreams, good and bad sake, favorite seasons, battle wounds, stars, and swords. I loved to listen to him talk. His voice was so soothing, so gentle; one could almost forget he was the commanding officer of a military force. And when he'd laugh…there was nothing I could compare it to, other than a bright flame on a dark winter's night. Inevitably, like the cold, lonely being that I was, I huddled around the sound and savored its warmth.
I had stood to move the tray of tea, or perhaps light another lantern—I couldn't remember with my head swimming in a lake of tea and hazy with fatigue. I was listening half-heartedly as he spoke of some Shinsengumi nemesis, when my foot caught the hem of my kimono and I braced myself to crash through the paper-thin walls.
But strong hands suddenly grabbed my torso, and held me in midair. With my face inches from the wall, I looked down at Okita, who was lying on his back with his arms around my waist. At the same exact moment, we burst out laughing. He gently lowered me onto the floor next to him, his arms supporting my entire weight even as he shook with delirious laughter.
After our slaphappy giggles subsided, I think we both realized how tired we were.
"We'd better call it a night, I guess," Okita mumbled. "Before you fall out of a window or something."
I looked over at him. His eyes were already closed. The light from a nearby lantern played with shadows in the crevices of his handsome face. A sudden, inexplicable impulse took hold of me. Reaching around to the back of his head, I nimbly untied his Shinsengumi headband and let it fall on the floor between us. When he didn't stir, I raised a finger to his face and softly stroked his cheek with my finger.
"You're beautiful," I whispered. It was the last thing I remembered doing before fading away into a dark realm of stars and clouds.
A/N: awwww ^_^ Okita. I love this guy.
