Our first class on Mondays was Double Charms. It was pretty uneventful, unless you count Flitwick giving his studying-for-end-of-term-exams speech. He also passed out study guides, which might have proven useful. I've learned that the trick to studying isn't rereading material or your notes; the trick is to have been reviewing it all throughout the year.
I sat between Kitty and Ralph, as per usual. And also, as usual, my two friends only talked to me and not to each other. That goes way back to third year when I first introduced them to one another. It probably also has to do with that one time at the start of fourth year when Kitty accused Ralph of having a crush on me. He denied it, of course. We're just friends. Kitty eventually dropped it, but I suspect she maintains her suspicions. Did their silent feud years later make Charms class incredibly awkward? Oh yeah.
When the bell rang, everyone clamored to gather their things. I didn't fail to noticed Kitty's look of disdain as Ralph waited for me. She rolled her eyes as she walked passed us, and said, "See you at lunch." Obviously, she meant me, not Ralph.
As soon as Kitty left, the atmosphere became considerably lighter.
"So how was Hogwarts?" asked Ralph as we started to walk towards Ancient Runes. "Did you enjoy being by yourself?"
"Oh, I loved it," I replied. "Peace and quiet."
"I still wish I could have stayed with you," said Ralph wistfully. "But the divorce - I had to stay-"
"- Stay with your mum, yeah," I finished his sentence. Ralph grinned. "And how was your mum?"
Ralph shrugged and dropped his gaze. "Same old, same old."
"In other words," I said. "Complaining about your dad the whole week?"
"That about covers it."
"Hey, Ralph," I began, trying to find the right words to tell him about the wedding conflict. "So about me coming to stay with you this summer."
"Yes!" His whole face lit up. "I can't wait for you to visit and it's not even summer yet!"
"Yeah, so-"
"Dad's already arranged for you to come," continued Ralph. "The Magical Dutch Ministry has been notified and everything!"
"Oh, great," I said sarcastically, but Ralph didn't catch it.
"I can't wait to show you our trumpeting swans! I mean, they once tried to eat me when I was five, but they're beautiful, really…"
I bit my lip as Ralph continued his monologue with hand gestures. I had rarely seen him so excited for something. Call me a coward, but I didn't have the heart to break the news to him just then.
Ralph and I had a small break after Ancient Runes before lunch. Kitty, who didn't take Ancient Runes, was now in her Divination class. As we had done all year until it was habit, Ralph and I made our way to the library to edit our translation assignment for Ancient Runes. We had a major revision due on Thursday. Both of us had finished it over the holidays, but we wanted to edit each other's work before submitting it.
Two corridors away from the library were heard a commotion: screaming, laughter, bangs that could only be magical, and several squealing hogs. I looked at Ralph as he looked at me. He had a worried expression on his face, but I let out a giggle. Squealing hogs?
I marched my way through the growing crowd to find the source of the noise. Ralph followed but more hesitantly. Several people were running away from the source, but there were definitely more who were congregating.
James Potter, Fred Weasley, Alfie Lancaster, and Finn Campbell were, for the lack of a better word, playing with two hogs. From what I could gather, it was some sort of game. It looked something like football, except they had two hogs instead of a ball. Potter and Lancaster were on one team, Weasley and Campbell on the other. They were kicking the hogs, of course, but instead directing their respective hog to the opposing team's side. I noticed that they had magicked a thick red line near the two ends of the corridor. I supposed that the hog must cross the line for that team to win. But I didn't wait to find out.
"C'mon," I muttered to Ralph, but he didn't hear me over the noise. "Let's go," I said louder, nudging him with my elbow.
"Um, what?"
"Let's go," I repeated. "To the library."
"You want to cross that?" He balked.
I rolled my eyes but laughed. Six years of being in the same House as James Potter and his little posse had taught me not to quiver at their antics. I wanted to get to the library, and nobody, not even James Potter and his squealing hogs were going to stop me.
"You're not scared, are you?" I teased Ralph.
"You're the Gryffindor, not me," he replied. I barked a laugh and then pushed Ralph out from the wall of students and into the corridor, knowing full well he wouldn't follow if I went first. I strode out across the corridor, ignoring Ralph's whimper as he trailed behind me and the gasps of shock coming from the crowd. It was unbelievable, really, that most of the student body hero-worshiped James Potter for something his dad did. He shouldn't be able to get away with something like this.
"Watch it, Ward!" shouted Fred Weasley.
"You watch it," I grumbled under my breath. He wasn't much better than his cousin.
We were about half-way across when one of the hogs veered towards me, but I side-stepped and dodged it. Ralph wasn't as fortunate or coordinated. Hearing a cry, I spun around to see the hog trampling Ralph. I grabbed my wand just in time as the hog turned back to charge me for second-course. Protego, I thought, flicking my wand. The hog hit my shield charm so hard it literally bounced back twice before landing hard. It scrambled to its feet, snorted, and narrowed its watery eyes on me. I smirked and muttered a few choice spells: the raging hog transformed with a poof into a fluttering butterfly.
"Seriously, Ward?" hollered Alfie Lancaster from the other side of the corridor.
I shrugged. "Don't be a hazard."
"Don't be a spoil-sport!" he shot back.
The other hog was still running and kicking near Fred Weasley, who put up a shield charm of his own to redirect it.
"Don't just stand there, Ward!" called James Potter. "Either pick a side and join or leave!"
"Join?" I said agast. As if. I leaned over and helped Ralph stand shakily to his feet.
"Don't bother asking her, James," called Finn Campbell. "It's Ward; she'll only join us when pigs fly."
At that, the four boys spluttered in their laughter. I glanced at the butterfly. I guessed that joke was on me, since I made the pig fly. I shook my head and said, "This is madness."
"Hogwarts Rumble Tumble is madness," retorted Fred Weasley gleefully. "But that's the point!"
I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the umpteenth time today, but chose not to reply to that. I wanted to get out of there before a professor showed up. We left the boys to their antics, and as Ralph and I were about turn the corner into the corridor adjacent the library, I looked back. The butterfly was gone and there were once again two hogs squealing and running around in the corridor.
I stared at my quill as I twirled it absentmindedly in my hand. I was supposed to be reading over Ralph's translation but I kept on getting distracted. I had to tell Ralph about the wedding. Procrastinating on telling him would only hurt his feelings, but I didn't know how to tell him.
"Charlotte, everything okay?"
I glanced up to find Ralph staring at me.
"Oh, uh, yup," I said. I pressed my lips together and gave an awkward nod.
"Something on your mind?" asked Ralph.
"Well," I said bracingly as I set down my quill. Best to get it over with. "My mom gave Cole a package for me." I cleared my throat rather unnecessarily. "There was a letter from her in it as well as a wedding invitation. My cousin is getting married. Yay. And, um, well, the date they set is the 12th of July." I cringed as I said the last sentence.
"The 12th?" sputtered Ralph. "But that's when you're visiting me!"
"Yes," I agreed. "So you see my problem."
"Can they move the wedding?" asked Ralph.
"Move- move the wedding?" I gaped at him. "They're not going to move their big day just so I can visit you!"
"Well you could ask! We've been looking forward to this for weeks!"
"Ralph," I said. "They're getting married. They've been dating for, like, two years."
"We've been friends longer than that!" He threw down the quill he had been using.
"Ralph," I said, trying to calm him down. "You're being a bit ridiculous-"
"Then just skip the wedding!" Ralph interrupted. "I have everything planned, just for you!"
I blinked at him, rather confused. I had figured he'd be upset, but like bummed kind of upset, not irate kind of upset.
"Look, there's no way that my mom will allow me to skip the wedding-"
"Have you asked? Did you?" Ralph's face was getting redder and redder.
"Well, no-"
"Ask her then!" demanded Ralph.
I gaped at him once more. "I intend to," I said, a bit colder than I meant.
"Good," said Ralph forcefully.
I picked my quill back up, but didn't feel like editing Runes anymore. This whole conversation had become incredibly uncomfortable. Ralph was behaving very un-Ralph-ish. When I glanced back at him, he was looking at me expectantly.
"What?" I asked.
"Are you out of parchment?" he said.
"For what?"
"For writing the letter to your mom!" he said exasperatedly.
"I… I'm not going to write to her at this minute," I hissed, shocked.
"Why not?"
"Because!" I nearly yelled. "Because I'm trying to revise your Runes!" And I guess something in me snapped at that last part, because I threw down his Runes translation, grabbed mine and my bag, and abruptly left Ralph where he was.
I was still fuming when I sat down for lunch. Ralph was my friend, but I felt indignant at what he expected me to do. I was already planning to write to my mom about the dates, but something about how Ralph expected me to right then and there write to her really rubbed me the wrong way.
There was a thump beside me on the bench, and a waft of fruity body spray told me it was Kitty before she even opened her mouth. "You'll never guess what I saw in the tea leaves today- hey… what's wrong?"
I sighed. "I guess I kind of got into a fight with Ralph?"
"Is that question?"
"I don't know what happened," I said moodily, stabbing my potatoes with a fork.
Kitty let silence come between us for a minute. "So, are you going to tell me what happened or will you continue to decimate your potatoes?"
I let out a half-hearted snort. "Well...," I began. "Oh, that's right. I didn't get the chance to tell you. My cousin is getting married on the 12th of July."
"Oho, congratulations."
I nodded. "But that conflicts with the dates I'm supposed to visit Ralph in the Netherlands."
At the words, "visit Ralph," Kitty pursed her lips.
"What?"
"'What' what?"
"You're making that face again!" I said.
"What face? No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are," I insisted. "It's your 'I don't like Ralph' face."
"Well, I don't like him," Kitty said bluntly. "But you know that." I nodded. "I just… don't like the idea of you visiting him over the summer."
"Why not?" I asked.
Kitty shrugged and avoided my eyes. She began piling food onto her plate.
"Kitty," I urged.
She closed her eyes for dramatic effect. "You know. That thing back in fourth year that you don't like talking about."
"Oh, that thing. You mean your theory that Ralph has been secretly harboring a crush on me all these years?"
"Well, yes. That thing."
I scoffed. "Kitty, I'm sure like I was back then. We don't like each other like that."
"Well, you don't like him like. Thank Merlin," she muttered. "But Ralph-"
"Doesn't like me," I finished her sentence.
Kitty turned to face me directly. "Then how'd he take it? You not being able to visit him."
It was my turn to look away. "Not so well," I admitted.
"He upset?"
"Yeah."
"How upset?" Kitty asked with false sweetness.
"Well, see, now that's why I'm upset," I said. "I knew he'd be upset, but like bummed, you know? He was downright livid! I don't think I've ever seen Ralph that angry."
"Wait, hold on," said Kitty, holding up her right index finger. "He got angry at you?"
"Yeah," I said. "It was so stupid. He asked me to ask my cousin to move the date of the wedding!"
"He did not!"
"He did! And then he asked me if I had written to my mom if I could skip - she'll probably say no - and I haven't yet, but I was going to. And then he got all in a huff that I wasn't writing the letter right then and there!"
"Did you get angry? I hoped you yelled at him." Kitty made a hopeful face.
I gave her a deadpan look. "I may have… and then stormed out…"
"Charlotte Ward," Kitty congratulated, slapping me on the back. "I'm so proud of you."
"Shut up," I joked.
"We need to celebrate," proposed Kitty. "Celebrate that you finally see Ralph for what he truly is!"
"No. Um, no," I cut her off. "There's nothing to celebrate. And I'm in the middle of a problem here, thank you. Ralph and I fought, and we never fight. Now it's all awkward. It doesn't feel right."
"Don't you dare think of apologizing to him," warned Kitty, suddenly serious. "He should not have gotten so upset over something like this. You will not apologize. Right, Charlotte?"
I hesitated. "I guess…"
She continued to stare at me, all serious. I gave her a small smile and nudged her until she laughed. I joined in with a giggle. Our conversation drifted into more pleasant topics, and before we knew it, lunch was almost over.
"Alright," sighed Kitty. "I better get going." She had Care of Magical Creatures, and it was a bit of a walk to the paddock. I, on the other hand, had the rest of the afternoon off. Kitty looked over to the Ravenclaw table. I followed her gaze and with an uncomfortable squirm realized that Ralph was staring at me. When our eyes met, his mournful expression turned hopeful.
"Charlotte," said Kitty with a meaningful look. "Do you want to walk me to the courtyard?"
I looked at Ralph, then back at Kitty. It felt wrong being out of sync with Ralph, but I didn't think I was quite ready to let it go how he treated me. "I would love to."
Ralph also had Care of Magical Creatures, so I was guaranteed a Ralph-free afternoon, as long as he didn't track me down during the last period of the day. Just to make sure, I went to an unused classroom that neither Ralph nor Kitty knew about.
I actually had discovered the room over Easter break. Nearly Headless Nick told me about it when we crossed paths when I was exploring. It was such a lovely room. It reminded me of the Great Hall, but smaller, about the size of a large classroom. Instead of the tables and chairs, it was empty. Most mysteriously, the room had windows. It must have been magic, because the room was in the middle of the castle. But somehow, I could see outside onto the grounds. Through the north window, I could see Hagrid's hut. Or through the east window I could see the Quidditch pitch. It was a remarkable room.
In addition to the magical windows, the room had hardwood floors and glowing chandeliers propped up between each window. They must have also been magically lit because they never seemed to wane.
When I reached the room on the fifth floor, I looked both ways to make sure no one was around. Then I reached down and plucked my wand. Certain bricks needed to be tapped on the wall in order for a door to appear. Strangely enough, it was the same position and order as the bricks to get into Diagon Alley.
Once I tapped on the bricks, a humble door appeared before my eyes. With one last look down the corridors, I opened the door and stepped into the room.
It was exactly as I had left it. Of course, there was nothing in the room to not leave it as I found it. Nevertheless, there was a certain familiarity about the room that brought me comfort. I couldn't say for sure, but something about it reminded me of home.
I set my bookbag down against the wall and stepped into the center of the room. I spun around on the hardwood floor, my robes fanning out.
Then, suddenly and dramatically, only because no one could see me, I whipped out my wand and pretended I was in some high-stakes duel. "Whaaa!" My imaginary duel continued until it had me giggling laying on the floor. After I caught my breath, I felt satisfied that I was good and relaxed to begin.
I learned that if I'm stressed, I get easily frustrated. And being frustrated with yourself is no place to be working on invented spells. Inventing spells could be hard and disappointing work. I liked to start my time with spells that I liked to perform and spells that I had already invented.
I toyed with one of my favorites first. I came across this spell last year. It was a useful little spell, called the Wand Pocket. What it did was create a space for you to put your wand. Most people kept their wands in their pants or robe pocket when not in use. This spell allowed you to make a "pocket" of a sorts for your wand. You could choose where the "pocket" was. For my place, I chose my outer upper right thigh. The "pocket" was attached to my person, not to my clothes. And it was invisible and undetectable. When my wand was attached, it too was invisible and undetectable unless I grabbed it. The spell is called the Wand Pocket, but really the spell functioned more like magnets than a pocket.
Sitting on that hardwood floor, I plucked my wand from the Wand Pocket, and then set it against my thigh. I tapped my thigh with my index finger to start the spell and watched my wand turn invisible. I repeated it several times, watching my wand appear and disappear. After six years of being immersed in the magical world, I was still blown away by all the possibilities.
I practiced several other spells that I had invented or tweaked over my years at Hogwarts. I felt good, like I was on a roll.
"Tenentes lumino pila," I whispered to the room. In front of me, about fifteen feet away, appeared a bright ball of light about the size of my fist. It glowed, and if light balls could be happy, I would say that this ball of light was happy. It bobbed up and down. Little rays trailed after the ball. It was beautiful.
But I didn't want it to be beautiful; I wanted it to explode and have light spill out from it. Because wouldn't that be awesome?
I twisted my wand at the ball of light, but nothing happened. I frowned. That twist should do it. I twisted my wand again, but still nothing happened. "Oh, come on!" I muttered. I shook out my arm and then raised my wand once more. Again I twisted my wand to the right.
My wand suddenly gave off a small electrical shock. I yelped and dropped my wand in surprise. As I bent down to pick up my wand, there was a sad little pop. I looked up in time to see my bright ball of light deflating like a punctured balloon. It deflated until it disappeared in total, and my expectations deflated right along with it.
I sat back down, criss-cross, and gingerly picked up my wand. It didn't shock me again, but I was still cautious. I had never heard of a wand shocking its owner. How peculiar.
Later that night I sat on my bed, pondering the events of the day. Kitty was again spending the evening with her beloved Brian. The rest of my roommates were in the common room, the last time I saw them. Starting on my Charms assignment was a good idea, but I didn't feel like starting it without Kitty.
I sighed. I didn't have anything else to do in the dorm, so I might as well get a start on it. I opened my book bag and as I pulled out my CharmWorks book, I noticed the newspaper from this morning.
"The bombing," I murmured. I had totally forgotten about that. This morning seemed like two days ago. Forgetting all about Charms, I opened the paper to read the article for more detail.
This morning I had gleaned the jist of what had happened: someone had placed a bomb in some rubbish bins outside of a primary school. Two children had died in the explosion and four more were injured. The coppers hadn't yet caught the perpetrator. The article quoted a Police Jones saying, "We're hunting down all possible leads." I snorted. That meant that they had no leads.
It was tragic. I was sure those children didn't think that day would be any different. Their parents didn't know that morning they were sending their children off to a death zone. Nobody knew, except the bastard who placed the bomb.
"Good morning, class," greeted Professor Longbottom. Few returned his greeting; he was much too chipper for first thing in the morning. "I hope you all did your homework, because today's lesson will be its application." Our assignment over Easter break had been to research different kinds of fertilizer. "There are seven different kind of plants in this greenhouse and in greenhouse four that are tagged with a red cloth. You'll be in groups, and as a group you need to decide firstly which fertilizer base to use, and then which spell, if any, to cast on the soil or the plant. Get into groups of four or five - there's five of each kind of plant. Begin."
Kitty and I looked at each other and then over at the twenty or so other students. Usually for group projects of this size we'd pair with Ralph and some of his friends, but by silent agreement we opted out for that option. The problem was, everyone else found their group with in seconds. And before we knew it, we were staring down the work table at the only other two people who were not in a group: Ralph and his friend, Gordon Crawley.
"Great," I muttered.
"Yeah, just bloody perfect," agreed Kitty, glowering at Ralph.
"C'mon, let's get over there before people start staring," I sighed.
"No," said Kitty, folding her arms across her chest. "Let them come to us."
With one look at Ralph, I very much doubted he would. He looked like a deer in the headlights, unsure of whether to go left or right.
"He's not going to willingly come over here," I insisted. "You scare him way to much."
Kitty gasped and laid her hand over her heart. "What is this that you speak of? Me? A scary person?"
I rolled my eyes and chuckled.
"I'm just being me," said Kitty stiffly. "If he can't handle that, well…"
It was actually Gordon who approached us, with Ralph in tow. Apparently he had no idea of the current rift between Ralph and I. When Ralph shuffled to a stop, he avoided my eyes.
"Shall we get started?" Gordon suggested. All the other groups had begun.
"That Elephant Fern is free," suggested Kitty, nodding with her head toward the towering plant.
"Let's start there," said Gordon, smiling at Kitty.
Throughout working on the Elephant Fern and the second plant, Cackling Carnations, Kitty and I chatting amiably with Gordon. Ralph didn't join in our conversation. I did feel bad for him, though. He was incredibly downcast and wasn't saying a word. Several times I opened my mouth to say something to him, but Kitty cut me off each time. After the Cackling Carnations, I suspected that Gordon began to think something was up. Our conversation slowly died down to an awkward silence.
I was ever so glad when class finished. Normally I would enjoy this kind of Herbology class, what with all the problem solving and spellwork.
"Can I speak with you?"
I looked up from packing my bag to see Ralph standing before me. He was fumbling nervously with his book bag strap as his watery blue eyes ventured to finally meet mine. I nodded.
Beside me Kitty let out a huff and crossed her arms over her chest again.
Ralph's eyes flickered over to Kitty, and nearly whispered, "Alone?"
"Okay," I said, caving in.
"Charlotte-" started Kitty.
I cut her off. "I'll see you at lunch."
Kitty pressed her lips together. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
Kitty sniffed once and stomped off back to the castle.
There was an awkward few seconds as Ralph and I just looked at each other. "So…?"
"Yeah," said Ralph. He took a deep breath. "I just wanted to say that I'm really, really, really sorry for what I said yesterday. It was totally out of line. Can you forgive me?"
Any anger that I had been harboring melted away instantly. "Of course," I conceded warmly.
"Friends?" he said tentatively.
"Friends," I agreed confidently.
I had to run, literally run, to Defense Against the Dark Arts, and the bell still rung before I got there. "Dragon dung," I muttered as I rounded the last corner.
When I pushed open the doors to the classroom, Professor Harper was already speaking. She paused slightly when she saw me (I was usually never late), but continued on about reviewing spells.
Frustratingly the back rows were already taken, and I had walk past half the class to a middle row. I was still breathing hard. The moment I sat down, Delta leaned forward from the row behind me and whispered, "Did Ryan take your breath away?"
There were soft giggles from behind. I closed my eyes and ignored Delta and Alex's laughter, hoping Harper would notice. No such luck.
"You've got weird taste, Ward," continued Delta. "The greenhouses aren't exactly romantic. But maybe the smell of dirt turns you on."
I gritted my teeth, but didn't respond.
"No, I know," breathed Delta. I could barely hear her. "It turns him on. Maybe you should roll around in dirt to make him happy."
I was fuming, but as I debated about which hex would be best, my thoughts were interrupted:
"Miss Ward, are you listening to me?" I opened my eyes and found Harper standing over my desk, hands on her hips. Shoot.
"I-uh, sorry, Professor," I stammered. "Could you repeat that?" There was more giggling from behind me.
Harper's face was a mixture of irritation and concern. "Perhaps Miss Ward you could perform the Patronus Charm for us all, if you please."
"Yes, Professor." I stood up, and faced forward. I reached for my wand from my Pocket and raised my arm. "Expecto patronum!"
A feeble wisp emitted from my wand. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Anger still pulsed through me. I wasn't able to let it drop.
"Expecto patronum!" Again just a wisp of silvery white.
"Tut tut," said Harper, shaking her head. "Not your usual standard, Ward. Try and focus, will you?" Harper turned and walked back to the front of the class.
I lowered my eyes to the ground. Charms were my forte. As I turned to sit down, Delta's smirking face was before me. I raised my arm once more and pointed my wand a foot from Delta's face. Her smirk slid off as I imagined Ralph and I beating Delta in all our exams. "Expecto patronum!"
A silvery fox landed on Delta's desk and bared its fangs. Delta let out a small shriek and pushed her chair backwards.
"Oh, sorry!" I wasn't sorry. "It must have thought you were a dementor!"
There was a quiet chuckle from the back of the room. I looked up to see who had laughed at my joke, but when I did, no one was laughing.
My fox pranced around the classroom in a half circle before dissipating. Professor Harper gave me three claps, and said, "Well done." I nodded and sat back down. My face reddened as I suddenly became aware that I was the focus of most people's attention.
"Don't worry," whispered Alex behind me to Delta. "I think you're much prettier than a dementor!" Delta groaned but I smiled. Alex was superbly gifted at backhanded compliments.
Until the end of class Harper wrapped up a segment on Protective Infrastructure spells that we had been studying for the past two weeks.
"Before you pack up, I want to announce your next assignment - it's a group project." I groaned. Second group project today and it wasn't even lunch yet. "This past year we've worked on different kinds of protective spells. And for several weeks now you've learned some advanced Protective Infrastructure spells. As you know, we could only study the theory, not the application. The spells layered on Hogwarts make it difficult for a witch or wizard of your caliber to cast an infrastructure spell on the castle. Not impossible, but difficult. So for you to get practice, we're going to take advantage of the visit to Hogsmeade this weekend."
The class immediately broke out complaining. It was the last Hogsmeade weekend this year.
Harper held up her hand and the voices died down. "I know you'd all probably be spending your time with your friends, so I'm sorry. But if you studied properly, it shouldn't take you more than a half an hour to do what I have planned.
"I will set up certain spots for you to work," explained Harper. "The spells I ask you to attempt to cast are cave inimicum, protego totalum, repello inimicum, salvio hexia, and fianto duri; basically the spells in chapter seventeen of your textbooks. I don't expect you to successfully cast all of them, to be honest, but I do expect you to do your best. As for your groups, you'll be in pairs…"
As Harper read the set of partners from a list, I smiled to myself. Though there wasn't anyone in Defense that I would particularly enjoy being paired with, I could definitely perform all those enchantments, and then some.
"Charlotte Ward and Jack Morgan…"
My stomach dropped and I felt my face begin to flush. I didn't look over at Jack. In fact, I refused to look over at him. I didn't trust myself. Harper could have paired me with anyone, anyone, even Delta, and I would have made it work. Anybody but Jack Morgan.
