Chapter 2: Forbidden Hope
There was an indescribable loneliness since Victor left a week ago. After all, the King could not spare his most gifted guard for long. Yuri remembered the first time they said goodbye where he wasn't sure what gave him courage to stand on his tiptoes and kiss Victor on the lips. This time when they parted, Victor kissed him long and deep. He remembered the curve of Victor's lips under his own. His body remembered what it was like to be as close as two beings could be. He craved for him more than ever before. Victor asked him to come with him to the capital, but he knew it wasn't possible, because his demons would follow him wherever he went. He didn't want to create trouble. After all, they belong to two completely different worlds.
Yuri felt nauseous, and it had been worsening. His head throbbed as if someone hacked him with an axe repeatedly from behind. He stumbled towards the lake on top of the mountain, and gazed upon his own reflection from the crystalline water. The specks of red within his dark irises were becoming more and more prominent. They were beginning to coalesce. Nox, the serpent that would not leave his side, also appeared unsettled. Yuri knew the look each time she was about to shed her skin. She had grown to twice her original size compared to when they first met. Eight years ago, he woke up in the forest and found her curled up by his side. He had no memories of who he was other than his name.
More demons appeared than usual recently.
Instead of one goblin laying gems and diamonds-in-the-rough at his feet, an entire hoard came this time. They brought an entire feast from the mountains. Yuri kept the fresh herbs and the mushrooms and told for them kindly to take the grubs back to feed their young. The jewels they brought this time were much bigger and they casted colourful shadows on the floor of his cave from the slanted rays of the sun. He didn't need the gems, but the goblins insisted. He had an entire corner of his cave piled with them. Bat demons with red eyes hung upside down during the day at the mouth of his cave. Yuri didn't mind, because they kept the mosquitoes away. The giant that lived in the forest that Yuri kept from trampling the crops of the nearby village trotted towards the blue crystalline lake near the cave Yuri called home.
On the third day since his nausea begun he started to feel feverish. The splitting headache radiated down towards his spine and across his shoulder blades. Something drawn him to the lake again. He felt like every bone in his body was on fire.
Nox came back to him, her fresh scales shiny, her pink forked tongue flickered in the air. He lightly stroked her scales affectionately as she slithered up his legs and draped herself around his neck. Even more demons were gathering around him, he saw claws and wings at every turn. An orange fox with too many tails gingerly approached him bowed his head. On the patch of grass next to him there were a swarm of blue infamous butterflies that the villagers thought feasted on human flesh. Yuri knew they would only attack when the silly humans trampled on their flowers. One of them landed softly on his fingertip.
He gasped as he gazed at his irises from his reflection in the water. They were now completely dark red. What is happening? He wondered. Is this what dying feels like? He gripped onto his black tunic across the chest while panting from the pain. He missed Victor, and having his strong arms wrapped around him. He missed every line of Victor's body, and the softness of his silvery hair.
He had never experienced physical pain this excruciating in his life before. Nox edged him closer towards the water, he knew she wanted him to step into the lake. He didn't bother removing his clothes as he took a few steps forwards into the pristine turquoise water feeling every cold and round pebbles at his feet. The fire inside his body seemed a little tamer than before. Yuri sunk onto his knees until most of his body was enveloped by the cold.
Suddenly a large black crow landed before him, its onyx eyes sparkled too intelligently to be a simple bird.
Yuri gazed at it for a second then his vision blurred, his felt as if someone is stabbing his left eye with a knife. He felt like he saw the bird somewhere before.
"Yuri! I can't believe I found you!" Suddenly a dark haired boy around sixteen appeared in the place of the crow. He wore a black outfit with flowing edges like feathers trailing behind him. Across his forehead was a single thin braided leather band ending in a piece of raven feather and three midnight blue beads on the right side of his head.
"Who -", as Yuri begun to speak, his vision became blurry, he clasped one hand over his left eye. He felt like it is being ripped out of its socket. Suddenly a vision flashed before his eyes. Yuri was around nine, and running in the forest with a younger version of that boy before him. He remembered laughing at the younger boy when he got stuck in the halfway form, with dark feathers flying everywhere. That was when Phichit's was first learning to shapeshift, "Phichit...am I dying?"
"You remember!" Phichit's dark eyes lit up, "you are changing into your full form Yuri." Phichit took a few steps until his ankles were submerged into the water. He was flustered and too excited for words. "No, my prince," Phichit gently rested a hand on his shoulder.
Yuri froze at the word prince.
Reading his shock, Phichit squeezed his shoulder, "I know, when Minako bound your powers to keep you safe, she suppressed your memories."
"Phichit, what am I?" Yuri asked between pulses of his splitting headache.
"You are a demon," Phichit kneeled before him on one knee and lowered his head, "and you are our prince...our last prince." Sadness filled his dark eyes as his gaze met the ground.
Fragments of Yuri's life finally begun to come together like threads of a spiderweb. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what lies at the centre of it. He felt as if he was sinking deeper and deeper into quicksand without any warning. Yuri's heart raced, he heard blood pulsating through his ears. He was the boy loved by demons. He finally knew the reason they were drawn to him, the reason the goblin came bearing precious gems, the reason flesh eating butterflies made way for him. The reason his demons had always set him free each time a village accused him wrongly of crimes. He was a creature of the darkness just like them.
He thought of Victor, who probably knew all along that he wasn't human but accepted him for who he was. He missed him now more than ever. He imagined burying his face into Victor's chest, feeling his kiss on his forehead. He hugged himself tightly, his hands squeezed his sleeves on the opposite side pretending Victor was close again.
"You should probably remove your shirt to make room," Phichit did not specify any further what Yuri would be making room for.
Yuri frantically pulled his black tunic off and let it float on the water.
More memories flashed before his eyes chilling him to the core.
Yuri was ten at the time. Thick grey clouds blanketed the sky as if smothering the world below. The crowd gathered around the centre of the square shoulder to shoulder. The mob hardly noticed his small body pushing and elbowing people aside through the crowd. He kept on running along the cobblestone streets despite Minako chasing after him after he slipped out of her grasp.
"Yuri!" He heard Minako's worried voice a few feet behind him through the crowd.
He truly was sorry for running away from her, but this could be the last time for him to see ever see his family. He clawed through the people frantically.
He arrived at the scene of a public execution. He knew he had to see his parents one last time. He wanted to run towards the stage and fight the guards to set them free. He had no idea how. He saw the crimson clad mages from the Nikiforov clan gathering. Ordinary fire does nothing to demons, but their infamous touch can instantaneously turn lesser demons into the ashes. He bit his lip and watched the mages resume position, their regal robes the colour of blood flying behind them in the wind. The Nikiforov clan only answered to the king himself.
Time seemed to slow down as one of the executioners nodded. He saw his mother and father's faces, defiant and unafraid. The pain from deep inside gnawed at him, eating him alive. His parents were bound from the neck arms and legs by unforgiving thick black chains. Yuri watched as a silver haired man in his mid thirties take off his crimson glove and touched the top of a torch with his hand and setting it on fire. Blue fire danced eerily along the other two mages lighting them in unison. The crowd quietened down a little in anticipation. Yuri could smell he burning from the torches.
"I thereby deliver the death sentence in the name of the King for treason. From this day on, demons shall be killed without question." The silver haired mage's voice was cold like black ice. His eyes blue-green and merciless. The crowd cheered.
Yuri saw two mages walk closer to his parents, he couldn't move or breathe. Suddenly he felt one arm wrapping around him his shoulder from behind and another tightly covering his eyes.
"Yuri, don't look," Minako pulled him back. Yuri's tears ran down the edge of her hand. "Your parents and don't want you to remember them like this."
Yuri couldn't recall anything else from that day other than Minako taking him deep into the forest as the sun was setting and she wrapped a thick black chain around his neck. He trusted her with his life even though she was a mage. To him, she was like family. She fell in love with a demon named Celestino and she left her world behind to join him. Despite the difference in lifespan, demons can live twice as long as humans and mages alike, she choose him.
"Minako, what are you doing?" Yuri wiped his eyes.
"The Nikiforov clan had wolfhounds that can track demons. I promised your mother that I would keep you safe." Minako's hand was warm on his shoulders. "I am going to suppress your powers, as long as this chain is around your neck they can't find you because you will be no different than a human."
"Am I going to see you again?" He suddenly wrapped his arms around her, and gripped her dark violet robes around her waist. She smelled like lavender.
"Yes," she nodded firmly. "Eventually you will be too powerful for the chains. We will find you, my prince." She bowed and kissed his hand.
Suddenly one of the links of the chain around Yuri's neck gave way and it fell into the water splashing a small wave onto his face. The burning sensation on his shoulder blades intensified.
Then two gushes of warm blood trickled down his back. Yuri kneeled into the water.
Phichit watched in awe as dark leathery wings pierced through Yuri's back. The gathering demons squealed and chirped as if celebrating, the goblins begun a strange dance in a crooked circle. The giant roared in pleasure, sending a wave of rustling leaves.
Yuri panted, finally the pain was all gone. He felt the power trapped inside his body finally being set free. His vision was sharper than ever before, his sense of smell changed. He could smell everything, from the fresh soil after the rain to the wildflowers in the forest. He felt warmth beneath his hands and realized the water surrounding them were boiling and the rocks underneath at the bottom of the lake glowed orange briefly. His powers turned rocks into to lava, then they cooled down immediately leaving bubbling steam rising around him like the ethereal mist of a summer dawn.
He finally understood the reason he was untouchable by fire.
He was fire.
Yuri let out a deep sigh and gazed upon his own reflection amidst the ripples. His irises were now dark red, his canines sharper, his ears pointed. His hair was messy and plastered to his head from the sweat. He felt dizzy as his powers surged through his veins. With one hand Yuri slicked his hair back. He didn't look like the shy, innocent eighteen year old human anymore. He looked unearthly and...powerful. His fingertips appeared sharper, resembling claws. He wondered what Victor's facial expression would be seeing him like this, whether Victor would be mesmerized or repulsed. He wondered what it would be like to give all of himself to Victor in this form. But Yuri's heart sunk, because the scene of his parents' public execution by the crimson clad mages from the Nikiforov clan flashed before his eyes. The physical pain he just experienced paled in comparison to the stabbing pain that started inside his chest.
He realized he fell in love with the one person in the world he should not have fallen in love with.
"Minako asked me to give you this," Phichit handed him a silver ring with a single emerald mounted on it. The ring appeared simple at first glance, but along its side was writing carved in their ancient language.
His father's ring. He didn't want to know how the ring was retrieved, he didn't want to imagine someone rummaging through the ashes of the demon king.
"This will help you turn back into your demi form before you learn to control your powers and keep the Nikiforov's wolfhounds away," his childhood friend finished.
"Phichit," Yuri slid the ring on the middle finger of his right hand, "thank you." His wings disappeared leaving a raw feeling in his shoulder blades, his hands no longer resembled claws, his ears no longer pointed, but his eyes remained deep red. The shy, naive boy with wide dark eyes 'saved' by Victor three years ago vanished. Instead an eighteen year old demon prince with kind dark red eyes appeared in his place.
They rode on horseback and left the place Yuri had called home for the past two years for good. Yuri remembered the first time he rode a horse. He sat in front of Victor, who had his arm around Yuri while holding the reins. Yuri craved for his warmth now more than ever. Victor was the first person who ever stood up for him, first person that shared a meal with him in those eight years of him without previous memories, the first person he had ever loved. But Victor had to be a Nikiforov...sadness etched deeply into Yuri's eyes. He tried his best to hide it.
Phichit told Yuri the fact he was drawn to the turquoise lake was no coincidence at all. It was a sacred site for the demons. Demons journeyed there for their coming of age ceremony prior to their powers manifesting because the water relieved the pain of the first transformation. But now, the entire demon kind was living in fear in the darkness, ever since the day Yuri's parents were consumed in blue flames. Many shapeshifters drifted into in the forests living lives no different from animals. The demons were killed and tortured without question. The unlucky ones had their powers bound by demon manacles and were sold as slaves and even to the brothel. Yuri gripped the reins of his horse tightly and shuddered while Phichit filled him in on the stories from the past eight years.
Their journey lasted three days. The terrain became more and more rugged, Yuri noticed the trees retreating from both sides of the path and the roads became increasingly narrower and more lucrative. The mountains around them had an orange-red hue to it.
They stopped during the final night to rest, Yuri experimentally started their bonfire with his fingertips. He was glad to have Phichit by his side. His memories still had not fully returned to him. Every night he could not stop thinking of Victor. He waited till Phichit's fast asleep and hugged himself tightly, his fingers dug into his shoulder blades. He pretended that Victor was holding him again. He pretended he was lying naked and tangled within his long hair the same colour as starlight. He bit his lips and suppressed the burning warmth in his eyes. He couldn't stop his body from reacting to his thoughts of that night when they were together for the first time. He used his own hand and pretended that Victor was the one touching him. He clasped his mouth with the other hand to stop any sound that might escape his lips. After the rapturing sensation passed, Yuri laid in the darkness breathing fast. He gazed through the foliage towards the millions of the stars above and thought of the first night they met. He loved the expression Victor made in awe when could not take his eyes off the stars. Burning tears rolled down the corner of his eyes, he didn't bother wiping them.
The next day Phichit grinned as they begun to descend into a seemingly desolate valley, "Yuri, everyone's going to be so excited to see you."
Yuri gazed back at him, puzzled, there was a ravine before them too deep to see the edge. A few small rocks set loose by the hooves of his horse fell into nothingness from the narrow path.
"Your sister is a genius," Phichit's eyes glistened with admiration and pride, "you'll see, we are coming close. Wait for me!" Phichit unmounted, and with a snapping sound he was gone. Instead a large raven flew overhead and suddenly vanished.
Yuri waited for what seemed like eternity and watched the space before his eyes ripple. Finally a slit begun to appear from the ground and shot towards the sky, like peeling back the edge of one world and into another. He gasped as the ravine disappeared and an entire village appeared before him. Slowly Yuri pulled the reins of his brown horse and stepped into the other side.
Yuri had never seen this many demons kneel before him in his life. Phichit was on one knee at the front with a wide smile on his face. Yuri's memories had not fully returned yet, but for the past eight years he was exiled from village to village. He was accused of crimes. He had rocks thrown at him. He wasn't sure how to react.
Slowly a figure walked towards him, a pipe in her hand. "Mari!" his heart raced, warmth rushed from the pit of his stomach towards his heart.
She wasn't conventionally beautiful, her hair frizzy with golden locks interlaced with brown, her eyes a little small. But there was a powerful air about her, like a warrior princess. She wore a loose orange tunic that ended midway along her thigh with slits on each side. Her pants were also in the same shade of faded orange. Through the slits of her tunic, Yuri saw leather straps and knives tucked underneath. She had gotten more piercing on her ears than Yuri remembered. She blew a puff of smoke after taking a deep inhale through her black pipe lazily, "Yuri, about time you returned. There's work for you to do."
"Mari," Yuri wanted to run up to her, but he held himself back remembering who he was. This distant and nonchalant greeting was just like his sister. He knew she does not like showing her emotions. He saw her eyes gloss over for a second filled with happiness despite her stoic facial expression. He scanned the crowd of both familiar and unfamiliar faces. He saw Nishigori, whose spiral like ram like horns were bigger than he remembered and his shoulders much broader. Other villagers dropped everything they were doing and joined the crowd on one knees greeting their prince. Suddenly he heard a someone singing a familiar song in the same ancient language as the writing on the ring on his finger. The gentle rise and fall of the melody touched him deeply, that song resonated with his soul. His gaze fell upon Yoko and he recognized her right away. She didn't realize Yuri was back because she was gazing lovingly into a crib made of wood and twine while singing that song. Yuri's dark red eyes softened as he saw three babies fast asleep inside. They all have matching ram like horns curled on at their temple.
"What song is she singing?" Yuri was mesmerized by Yoko's voice.
"'Demon song', it's a lullaby in the language of our ancestors, the Greater Demons, all of our mothers once sang it to us. Now that most of our kin are dead and gone, thanks to the Nikiforov family, we are the last few remaining who still knew that song." His sister stood next to him. "the king executes anyone caught singing it."
Suddenly another familiar voice joined Mari's. Yuri's heart almost leapt out of his chest. "Yuri, my prince, would you bring us justice?" Minako spoke.
She looked exactly the same as the last time Yuri saw her. Her violet robes flowing with elaborate golden embroidery around her chest. The little boy inside Yuri was breaking down, he wanted to run up to her and pull her into a tight embrace but he kept his calm.
Silence.
"Look around you, Yuri, and tell me that this isn't worth fighting for?" Mari noticed him hesitating for a brief second.
Nobody kneeling before him could tell that he was shattering from the inside. Yuri gazed at Yoko and her three babies sleeping peacefully, and the entire secret demon village before him. They were his kin. They were the demons his parents gave their lives to protect, and now it was his turn. He knew the battle against the Nikiforov clan was inevitable. He knew, the only way he could protect Victor was to leave his side and hope that Victor would never find him again. His family would surely kill Victor. Yuri decide to pay the price of breaking himself instead.
"Yes," Yuri whispered. Victor, you are my secret. I would give my own life to keep you safe. Victor. I love you.
Goodbye.
Three years have gone by since they last parted, Victor waited for Yuri next to the blue lake on top of the mountain. Yuri never came back last year or the year before. Each year, Victor laid on the ground at the lip of Yuri's cave where they gave themselves to each other for the first time and pretended that they were close again. He stood at the top of the cliff watching the stars rise on his own. He walked to the clearing where he taught Yuri how to fight with the sword and taught him how to ride horses.
"Yuri, I promised that I would meet you back at this place, on the same day every year for as long as I live." Victor said to the wind, "I am here." Yuri, where are you? His entire body ached.
Only silence answered, and the sound of fresh new leaves rustling in the wind.
Yuri, just give me a sign that you haven't forgotten...Victor begun to cry. He sat next to the turquoise lake the same shade as his eyes, his shoulders quivered. Hot tears streamed down his face onto the palm on his hands. He didn't bother wiping them or try to hide his face. The best swordsman in this entire kingdom - given the nickname the King's Right Hand- cried like a child.
Greetings,
Thank you for reading and your kind comments, they made my day :)!
Here's a funny story for you. So I am in my 20s, recently got married and my husband is less of a nerd than I am. For the longest time I couldn't tell him that I wrote fanfiction...but because I wanted to write all the time (wrote my last story of 54,000 words on my phone) got tired of hiding it I finally told him along with the fact that I'd never tell him my user name. But guess what, the guy guessed part of it! He knew me too well. He went on google and found my stories...
I do want to write an original story some day, and fanfiction is my creative outlet and a way so I write something every day. He is supportive. I guess I married the right person, lol.
I am so grateful for Yuri on Ice because it inspired me to write again.
Thoughts? Constructive criticism? Let me know!
xoxo
Antares
re: reviews:
SomeRandomPerson: welcome back! Thanks for looking out for my grammar mistakes, I appreciate it. I am taking longer to edit this story compared to my first one. Haha Nox probably eats Vicchan for breakfast lol, just kidding...this story is dark, and I thought having a serpent as a familiar fits better.
AiVici: Thank you for leaving me your thoughts, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
NoLongerhereeeeeeeeee: thanks :)
Cuckooo: thank you so much for reading my second story! I am so glad you enjoyed it. The reason Yuri didn't move to a different village is because that lake on top of the mountain was actually a sacred site for the demons. Yuri unknowingly was drawn to that place. There will be scenes and flashbacks & details about their time together. Eventually the first chapter will be told from Victor's perspective :)
