We never knew

How did I fall in love with you?

~Backstreet Boys


Hikari could kiss her brother.

Takeru had made sure to stay as far away from her the entire time in the karaoke. His actions weren't noticed by anyone else. Or at least, no one pointed it out. She, on the other hand, spent the whole time distracted. Seriously, the amount of times she answered 'what' when someone talked to her started to make the others look at her weird. But her mind was focused on figuring out how to corner him afterward.

And per usual, her older brother came to her rescue.

Everyone was getting ready to go. Inside, Hikari was panicking because Takeru was on the other side of the room. And there was no way for her to get to him except to leap across the table. Which wouldn't look suspicious at all. He was angry enough at her already. If she brought attention to his problem, he would not be happy. Takeru was almost out the door and she was still scrambling for what she could do when Taichi grabbed his arm. "You'll see Hikari home, right?" Typical of Taichi, it was less like a request and more like a command.

There was a pause many wouldn't notice, as for a moment, Takeru stared at Taichi. Then, Takeru smiled and said, "Of course." But Hikari recognized that smile. It was the one that fooled ninety-nine percent of everyone into thinking he was fine. When in actuality he was as far from fine as he could be.

Taichi stepped back over to her. "Sorry I can't take you home myself."

Hikari shook her head. "That's okay."

"Are you ready?" Takeru asked, bringing her attention back to him.

"Yeah," she said. "Just a second."

As she leaned over to grab her purse, she heard Yamato mutter to Taichi. "So, you know what's up?"

Taichi gave a low chuckle. "They'll figure it out. Don't worry about it."

"If you say so."

Hikari twisted her lip, curious about the strange conversation. But, she was too excited that her brother gave her the chance to talk to him. Dismissing the thought, she grabbed her purse and stood. Takeru stepped back to let her through the door. She flashed him a smile and a quick 'thanks'. She proceeded Takeru out of the building.

As they walked, Hikari wondered at the silence. Because silence was never their thing. Takeru would tell her stories of the stars. Or he would point out the shapes in the clouds. Or make her laugh recounting experiences from the day. But there wasn't any of that.

She looked over her shoulder. In fact, he wasn't even walking beside her. Takeru walked a couple of steps behind her with his hands shoved into his pockets. He followed her like a tall, silent shadow. Hikari felt safe in his presence, but this was not helping her mission.

Spinning on her heel, Hikari turned around and stopped facing him. It took a moment for Takeru to notice. He slowed to a stop. Heaving a sigh, his gaze dropped to the ground. "Hikari, can't you please just drop it?" he pleaded without any prompting.

"No," she answered. "I want to help you." She was going to be firm about this. If she had her way, she would not go home until she resolved this. Hikari didn't want to be at odds with her best friend anymore.

Takeru shook his head as he let out a humorless chuckle. "Hikari, if you only knew…" He locked gazes with her. "Trust me, Hikari, you can't help me with this. I mean, you're the—" He cut off by pressing his lips together. His shoulders sagged and his eyes dropped to the ground which gave his whole body the image of defeat. "Never mind. Let's go." He started walking again, moving towards her but not meeting her eyes again.

"Takeru, please stop shutting me out," she pleaded as he walked around her. She caught up with him and grabbed his arm. "I'm what?" she asked. She wanted him to tell her what she did wrong so she could fix it.

To her surprise, he lifted his hand up and laid it over the hand on his arm. With gentle, slow moments, he took her hand and pulled it away from him. "It's not important," he dismissed as he slide her hand out of his grip. He didn't turn around to look at her.

"Yes, it is," Hikari insisted. Heat prickled in her eyes, but she held herself together. The last thing she needed was to dissolve into a blubbering mess. She wasn't someone who cried at the drop of a hat, and she wasn't about to start now. Even if she was about to lose her best friend. "Something is bothering you. I want to help, as your best friend."

Takeru whipped around. Hikari flinched back. There was a wild look to his eyes that she had never seen before. In that moment, Hikari realized whatever was wrong was making Takeru desperate. "But that's just it! You want to be friends forever. And I can't…" He paused. "I cannot pretend that we can still be friends."

A trail of ice moved down Hikari's spine. If he had punched her in the gut, he could not have hurt her more than this. "What…what did I do?" she gasped. Her shoulders hunched. She wanted to fold in on herself because it felt like her world was imploding. If she was honest, she hadn't thought she could lose Takeru as her best friend until this moment. She was so sure that whatever it was she could fix it.

Takeru's eyes widened, and he walked over to her. He laid his hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry, Hikari. That wasn't what I meant. And I want to say this right."

Whatever had seized her throat released, and she could breathe again. He had misspoken. She wasn't about to lose her best friend. But that didn't mean that she had any idea what he could mean. "Takeru, I don't understand." Why had that burst out of him? What did he need to say right?

He gave her a lopsided smile. "I know you don't. But I just need you to know. And it has to be tonight because I can't let you leave thinking I don't…" He pressed his lips together before he continued. "Hikari, how often do you see the others?"

Hikari blinked at the non-sequitur. She knew who he was talking about. Between them, there was only one group that would be 'the others': the Digidestined. "I see Daisuke and Iori at school, and my brother all the time. The others…I guess when we get together. Why?"

Takeru's smile was sad and resigned, like she gave the answer he expected but didn't want. "Exactly. Ever since the others graduated, we only see each other when we plan on it every few months. What do you think is going to happen to us? When we graduate, will we only see each other when we get together?"

Finally, Hikari felt like she was catching on to what was bothering him. "Is that what you're worried about? Takeru, you're my best friend. I would never abandon you," she reassured him. All this time, he was afraid of losing her. She had to reassure him that he would never lose her. "And we'll always be the Digidestined." The twelve of them would always have that connection. That secret that set them apart from everyone else.

"I don't want to live that life," Takeru interrupted. "That life of only seeing each other because of that. I don't want to say goodbye. To graduate and only see each other every once and a while. To only be connected because we're the Digidestined."

Hikari felt like she was on a roller coaster. The moment she thought she figured out what was wrong with him, he threw in something else that made her think she had no idea again. He was talking in circles, which wasn't like him. Unless there was something he was trying not to say. "Takeru, what are you saying?" she asked. At this point, she wanted the blunt truth.

"I love you," he blurted. Hikari's eyes widened, and her mouth dropped opened. "As a Digidestined, as my best friend, as so much more. More than I thought." His lips twisted in a self-deprecating manner as he continued, "I don't know how it happened, but I won't say I'm sorry about it. Hikari, with you I want to spend the rest of my life."

Hikari couldn't speak. It felt like someone was grabbing her throat, choking off her air. She'd had no idea. This was beyond what she had imagined was bothering him. In love with her? How could he be in love with her? They were best friends. How long had he been in love with her? Was it all along? Her mind went around in circles with her thoughts.

"Come on. I'll take you home."

In a stupor, Hikari automatically followed him as they walked to her apartment. Neither of them spoke the rest of the way there. She didn't even realize that they had reached her door until Takeru stopped walking. This was the moment. She had to say something. When your best friend confessed their love to you, you don't leave them in silence. "Takeru, I—" she stopped. Her mind was a blank. What could she say? What did you say to your best friend after they confessed their love to you?

"Hikari, stop. You don't have to say anything. Go inside." She took a breath, ready to argue with him. "Go," he reiterated.

Slumping her shoulders in defeat, she nodded and opened the door. He was right; her mind was in too much turmoil to form any sort of cohesive thought. He turned and began to walk away. "Takeru?" she asked. However, there had to be something she could say. She had to let him know that she still cared about him as her friend, even if she was overwhelmed. Something simple. Something easy. Then, it hit her. "Good night," she said. A weak smile accompanied the simple words.

In the dim light, she could see him smile in return. "Good night, Hikari."

She closed the door and leaned against it.

What the heck was she supposed to do now?


Sunday morning found Hikari banging on her brother's dorm door. She hadn't slept at all the last two nights. She kept overturning Takeru's words over and over in her mind. Yesterday, her mom kept asking her if anything was wrong.

She couldn't answer. Halfway through the night realization upon realization hit her. She slept at his house. He loved her, and she slept in his bed. How many times had she cuddled with him, held his hand, hugged him, kissed his cheek? How many times had she unknowingly hurt him with her actions?

Behaviors that hadn't made sense before, she now understood. The lack of flirting, the rebuffing of other girls, the unnecessary kindnesses well beyond what he normally did.

She needed help. She needed answers. And so, she needed her brother.

Taichi opened the door, rubbing his eyes. He was still in his pajamas, and his hair was more wild than normal.

"Taichi, I need help," she burst out before he had a chance to say anything.

He tilted his head to the side. "Oh," he said. "Alright. Let me get dressed. I'll be out in a minute." Taichi shut the door again. For the next few minutes, Hikari paced in the hallway in front of his door. She couldn't remember a time when she had been as agitated as this. Taichi opened the door again, this time dressed with his coat on. "Come on," he said. "There's a shop down the street I like."

Hikari nodded. She worked her lip between her teeth. Now that she was here with her brother, she wasn't sure he was the best person to talk to. He tended to not like the boys that liked her, with his famous "leave my sister alone or I'll castrate you" speech and all.

The café's bells jingled as Taichi pushed the door open. He returned the greeting the worker gave them before looking at her. "Find us a table while I get us something." Then, he moved toward the counter, leaving her to do what he said.

Hikari found an empty table tucked away in the back. Taichi arrived a few minutes later. He slid a hot drink and a muffin on a plate towards her. He set the same down in front of himself. Silence fell as Hikari stirred the drink in front of her, wondering where to begin.

Taichi began to peel the wrapping off his muffin. "So, I guess Takeru told you." He took a large bit out of the muffin, looking for all the world like nothing was wrong.

Her jaw dropped. "You knew?"

Her brother swallowed. As he nodded, he took a sip of his drink, and set it back down on the table. "Figured it out when I picked you up from his house that day you spent the night." He chuckled, resting his head in his hand. His eyes took on the faraway look of remembrance. "I think he was bracing himself for the 'leave my sister alone or I'll castrate you' speech."

Hikari shook her head, shocked by this new turn of events. "I don't understand. How did you know? Why are you…okay with this?" Her brother's reaction confused her. His protectiveness was well known by everyone. She had not expected the calmness that she was seeing now.

Taichi shrugged. "If you had seen his face when you fell, you would have seen it too. And, it's Takeru. What other reason do I need?"

"He said he loves me," she said.

"Dropped the L-word, did he? Well, he's not the type to do things by half."

"He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me!"

"Well, he better or else it'll be really awkward when we all get together."

"Taichi, I am freaking out about this. Why aren't you freaking out with me?"

He laughed. "Not gonna happen, sis." He smiled lazily at her, stirring his drink in a nonchalant manner. "Instead of focusing on Takeru's feelings, why don't you ask yourself what yours are?"

Hikari froze. She hadn't thought of that yet. She'd been busy wondering what she was supposed to do with her best friend in love with her, that she hadn't stopped to think about what her own feelings were. She didn't know. She couldn't sort it out. She only knew one thing. "I don't want anything to change."

Taichi shook his head. "Hate to break it to you, Hikari, but everything's changed already. Because now you know. And you can't pretend you don't know how he feels." His expression changed, and Hikari saw it. Her brother shifted into what they affectionately called "leader mode". She was no longer only dealing with her brother. Before her sat Taichi Yagami, Leader of the Digidestined, Savior of the Worlds. And she knew her brother was serious about this. "So, try again. How do you feel about Takeru?"

"I don't know!"

"That's ridiculous," he stated. She gasped at the flat tone and hard look. She'd seen it before but never directed at her. "You've know each other for ten years. You have to know what he means to you."

Hikari bristled at his words. Of course she knew what Takeru was to her. "He's my best friend, Taichi," she defended. Takeru was important to her; she knew that much at least.

A smile split his face, like she gave him the answer he wanted. Instantly, his hard, intense look was gone. The leader mode faded as he relaxed and took another bit of his muffin. "Exactly. I didn't say you had to love him this moment. But being best friends isn't a bad place to start." He leaned forward on his elbows, pausing to take another sip of his drink. "The only question you have to answer now is do you want to try? Do you want to try for something more with him or not?"

Her brother was right. She needed to stop worrying about Takeru's feelings. He knew his feelings. She knew his feelings. Hikari needed to focus on the future, on what she wanted to happen from now on. She huffed out a laugh. Coming to her brother was the right decision. She'd known he would know exactly what to do. "When did you become such an expert?"

"Meh," he said with a shrug. "You hang out enough with the Digidestined of Love, you pick things up."


Stupid Taichi and his stupid schemes.

It was all his fault for pretty much forcing him to walk Hikari home.

He'd managed to avoid Hikari for a week now, but even their classmates were starting to notice. It was his luck that not only would he fall in love with his best friend, but they would be in the same class, too. Which made avoiding her into an art form really.

Takeru never should have told her. That was it—he should have kept his feelings to himself. Now everything was awkward when it didn't have to be. But he hadn't been able to help it. She kept pushing until the whole "I cannot pretend that we can still be friends" debacle burst from him. After that, he couldn't leave her thinking that he didn't care about her. Especially when that was about as far from the truth as it could get.

A part of him couldn't believe that not only did he flat out tell her he loved her but also practically proposed to her as well.

He was doing a right bang up job of keeping his composure these days.

At this point, he was hoping beyond hope that if he avoided her for long enough she would drop it altogether. She didn't return his feelings. He knew that. He knew the thought probably had never even crossed her mind, given her expression when he confessed his feelings. Takeru understood all this and knew he had no right to force her to love him. That would be the exact opposite of what he should do. Accepting that she had no feelings for him (of the romantic variety anyway) was all he could do.

So, he avoided her. He could spare her the pain of breaking his heart. Takeru would suffer in silence so that she didn't have to. At least until he could get over this and move on.

And it was all going well until she caught up with him on the way home from school.

She must have run the whole way here, if her panting was any indication.

Leaning over with her hands on her knees, Hikari caught her breath. Since the least he could do was let her breathe, Takeru watched her in silence. He already knew what he wanted to say, but he could give her a minute. After a minute, she straightened as she took a deep breath. "Takeru, I need to talk to you."

For some reason, the desperate look in her eyes caused a trail of dread to slide down his spin. "It's alright, Hikari," he cut in. This was the exact reason he was avoiding her. Because he didn't want to hear it. It would hurt more hearing the rejection straight from her lips. "You don't have to say anything."

A frown creased her face. Her eyes turned hard and he recognized that look of determination. From someone else. Yep, Hikari and Taichi were definitely related and there was no way he was ever getting out of this. Hikari would not stop until she spoke her place. "Yes, I do. I have to tell you right now." To emphasize her point, she pointed her finger at the ground and stomped her foot on the last word.

It made him curious because Hikari wasn't usually prone to such theatrics. "Why?" The question was asked almost before he thought about it. Takeru knew he was avoiding her and that had to be annoying. But it was almost like she was on a mission and would not be deterred.

His heart dropped as her face crumbled into sorrow. "Because I can't live one more day knowing how much pain I'm causing you."

Swallowing heavily, Takeru tried to deflect the situation. He could deal with his own pain. He'd had enough of it in his life to know how to get through that. But he couldn't let Hikari feel pain. Not because of him. So, he tried to make light of the situation. "I don't know how you can stop it. Unless you are here to tell me you love me, too." He kept his tone light, like he was making a joke of it.

Judging from her frown, it hadn't worked. Remembering back to the day she confronted him before karaoke, he had to admit that Hikari knew him too well. His deflections worked less and less on her. Her eyes dropped and she dug her toe into the ground. "Well, no, but…"

Takeru nodded, accepting her answer. He knew, he anticipated that answer. But it hurt far beyond what he expected. He turned to leave before she finished talking—he would apologize later for his rudeness. But he couldn't let her see his pain again. He could spare her that at least.

"Takeru, no, please don't leave," she pleaded. "Takeru, please, wait. Takeru!" He didn't stop. He couldn't stop because he couldn't deal with this right now. He thought he could, but he couldn't.

"But I want to be!"

Her yell finally stopped him. Stunned, he couldn't turn and look at her again. He wouldn't be able to handle the disappointment again if he had misheard her. The sound of her footsteps got closer and closer until they stopped behind him. Still, he could not move. He felt something lay against his back and realized Hikari was resting her head against his back.

"I want to try, Takeru," she said. "I don't think I have the same feelings that you do. Not as deep as you do, anyway. But I can't lose you. I think I could lose almost anything except you. You mean the world to me, but I don't know if that is the same as the love you feel. But I'd like the chance to figure it out. You're my best friend. And that's a good place to start, right?"

He turned to face her. Recognizing the sincerity in her eyes, he realized this was more than he had hoped for. Perhaps her feelings weren't as strong as his own at the moment. But love was a choice, and Hikari was choosing him. Time to build their relationship was the least he could give.

Leaning down, he pressed his lips to her forehead. "Thank you, Hikari," he murmured against her skin. She had given him a chance, and he swore to himself that he would never waste it.

And, perhaps later, he would thank Taichi for his brilliant schemes.