The first review has been posted, and I'm so happy. So, who's the next bully to get his just desserts? Read on to find out!

"And don't tell me you're sorry, 'cause you're not…

Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught…"

-Rihanna, "Take a Bow"

"Come at me!"

"Okie-dokey!"

The training room became animated with the sounds of battle as Lucina tested the limits of her green-clad sparring partner. He was good, really good. She had a slight advantage because of her sword, yet he had air and speed on his side. His neutral aerial attack was considered one of the strongest, and he'd moved up the tier list in recent years. Plus, he could recover swiftly and meteor-smash people with a modest kick to the ground. Right now, he was a freshly lit firecracker as he leaped this way and that, avoiding Lucina's sword and executing superb combos with his neutral aerial, up aerial and various special attacks.

"How did you get so good?" she asked after taking a hit from his side-B.

"Just practicing," he casually replied, before grabbing her and starting another combo with his down throw. With a lucky sword slash, she was able to break his rhythm and perform her up smash. He was launched into the air, and she caught him before he could hit the floor.

"You're holding back," he noted.

"I am," Lucina quietly admitted.

"Don't."

Lucina was more than happy to oblige, now relying more on her smash attacks and less on her tilt attacks. It didn't take long for the battle to take a fierce turn, though it still remained friendly. They were two fighters, keeping their skills in tip-top shape while sweating out the toxins and stress that came with their own universes. Flexible bodies fluidly moved with agility that would make Bruce Lee jealous, brawn clashing with brawn, allowing no time to think and instinct to take over as they exchanged flurries of attacks. Their damage percentages were in the red, and their breath whistled harshly from their mouths. After nearly three hours of sparring, Lucina met her match, courtesy of a well-timed Super Jump Punch.

She respawned, turned off the simulator and patted her sparring buddy on the back. "Good fight," she said.

"You too," he replied as they shook hands and hugged. Together, they walked out of the training area and toward the dining room, hoping to snack on some "healing" food. Maybe they'd share a 1UP mushroom.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Later that day, Lucina was online, using the special Smasher social networking site that Master Hand thoughtfully set up for them. She'd just finished a blog post when she received an invitation to a video chat. Shrugging, she clicked "Accept."

King Dedede appeared on the screen. "Hi, greetings from Dreamland," he said cheerily. "You look terrific."

"Hey, stranger, thanks," said Lucina. "What are you doing there?"

"I'm getting ready for a match," said the giant blue penguin. "I just warmed up with Kirby and Meta Knight, and believe me, they have some pretty strong stuff. But I have a feeling this match will be an easy win."

"What makes you say that?" asked Lucina.

"Well, I have a klutzy opponent," explained Dedede. "He'll just slip and slide all over the place, and his attacks have a lot of lag. Plus, he's a lightweight compared to me. No sweat. With this hammer, I'll beat him in no time."

Lucina had a sick feeling in her stomach. "Dedede, I don't think it's nice to insult a fellow Smasher," she warned.

He ignored her. "By the time I'm finished with him, he'll be crying for his mommy," he taunted. "He's nothing but a wimpy pipsqueak. Why, I remember the time back in 2008 when he was scared of my Waddle Dees…"

"That's enough," snapped Lucina. Dedede fell silent.

"Before you talk about how wimpy he is, why don't you look at the videos of him at those kart-racing tournaments, hmm? Once you see the way he looks at people, you won't think he's a wimp."

Dedede chuckled. "Oh, he's just trying to act tough with that stupid Death Stare. But he sure won't be looking like that after our match is over. He'll be shaking and bleeding and crying. Then, I'll gloat to his brother about how I creamed him, and if he challenges me, then he's burnt toast."

"You wouldn't be talking that trash if you saw us earlier today," said Lucina. "He was at the top of his game."

Dedede opened his mouth to retort, but then he realized he had a match ahead of him. "Okay, Lucina, I have to let you go. It's almost time," he said. "I'll catch you afterward and tell you how it went, K?"

"Okay. Good luck, I guess," muttered Lucina as she cut the connection. Something told her that it would be the last she saw of the King of Dreamland…

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

*Flashback to 2008*

Dedede snickered as he watched his target assume a fighting position, quivering in every limb, as the little Waddle Dees—well—waddled toward him. Despite the fact that they were oblivious to him, for some reason, they scared him senseless. One of them turned and looked at him, causing him to jump back in fright. He slumped in relief as it walked right on by, only to tense up once again when another one approached.

At that, Dedede saw his chance. Armed with his trusty hammer, equipped with a cannon that could turn people into trophies, he softly crept up on the distracted man, took careful aim of his trajectory, pulled back and then…

SLAM!

The hammer struck the target square in the back, launching him high into the sky. He literally had no idea what just hit him. Dedede nodded proudly at his hammer and then watched as the man plummeted back down to earth…in trophy form.

Even after the Subspace adventure had concluded, the sight of the green guy cowering before the innocent-looking Waddle Dees had continued to tickle Dedede's funny bone. But there was something none of the Smashers knew. Dedede had hidden a web camera on that fateful day which recorded up until he'd taken his—er—prize. He'd waited until things had calmed down before uploading it to YouTube, and it didn't take long for it to go viral. In a matter of days, the King of Second Bananas had become the laughingstock of social media.

It was an action Dedede was about to answer for. He just didn't know it yet.

*Present Day*

The arena had quickly filled with spectators, and the announcer had taken his place where nobody could see. Dedede had finished psyching himself up and now readied his hammer as his challenger approached. Or, rather, seemingly approached. Little did Dedede know, he'd been present during the penguin's chat with Lucina and had overheard everything. What's more, he'd discovered some time ago that Dedede had uploaded that video and was thus responsible for his online humiliation. Select spectators also knew and were hungry for justice to be served.

Dedede, gleefully oblivious to all of this, warmly greeted his opponent. "Ready to fight?" he asked with a smile.

The other guy's sole reaction was a wry expression. Whatever was going through his mind, whatever rage he felt toward Dedede—he knew better than to put it on display. Instead, he spoke to the little sneak in a level tone suggesting only mild curiosity. "Is there something you'd like to tell me before we begin?"

For all of his attempts to remain under control, Dedede was devoid of emotion. Positively stoic. He offered no apologies or explanations for sneak-attacking him that day; no remorse for going behind his back to cause more pain. All he said was, "Not really. No. Why? Is this like the last confessions they do in the movies?"

He wasn't going to tell someone like Dedede. He'd let him find out for himself while he was recovering from a beatdown. Slowly, the challenger in green crossed the stage, closing the distance between him and the selfish, greedy king. Despite himself, Dedede flinched back, alarmed by the sudden offensive stance.

Everyone fell silent, eyes focused on the combatants. This was a one-stock match, with no items and no time limit. Judging by the tension between the fighters, Final Destination would've been a more suitable stage than Dreamland. Oh, well—they had to settle for what they could get.

The announcer started the countdown.

"3…2…1…GO!"

Quickly, Dedede mentally ran through his strategy before rushing at his opponent, hammer primed for the swing. But as he brought it down, the other man darted out of the way, causing him to miss. The shocked king was now in a vulnerable spot, and he paid for it dearly. Seconds later, a piercing pain shot into the small of his back as his opponent executed one of his dropkicks. Then, his fist plowed into his right shoulder blade, sending him straight up. He sprawled onto a floating platform and tried to punish with the Super Dedede Jump, but the challenger countered with ease. His down smash attack pulled Dedede under him, and then he effortlessly tossed him high in the air to begin an especially brutal combo attack. It was mostly comprised of neutral and up aerials, mixed in with forward and up tilts, up smashes, grab attacks and down throws, finishing with his prized down-B. By the time it was done, Dedede was throbbing and sore all over his body, and a small trickle of blood ran from his nose. He struggled up and twirled his hammer menacingly, suddenly angered over someone he thought as cowardly holding him in check. With a grunt, Dedede charged, intending to do his forward smash. But then, he was temporarily blinded by green. Cleverly, the challenger used his standard special, calmly flicking fireballs at the king, hampering his progress. He used his hammer to shield him, and while he was shielding, he couldn't attack. Before he knew it, he was hit by his opponent's down aerial and standard 3-hit attack.

Dedede was on his back, seeing Warp Stars. His opponent wouldn't have wanted it any other way. He raced over and made him airborne again, this time with the Fire Jump Punch, which caused him to land comically on his head. Luckily, he got back up before Dedede did, charged up his body, and launched himself like a green human rocket into the obnoxious, bullying king.

The king in question took the hit right in the gut. Air left him in a rush, and his knees became wobbly. He could feel his lunch starting to rebel against him, and it was as if his pancreas was getting squeezed out of shape. As much as the attacker wanted to stand and watch, he had more plans for this guy. His left elbow was cocked, power surging into his arm, and Dedede straightened only to see an open hand stab collide with his jaw with a horrific cracking noise. Now, his lower beak was knocked askew, and he could feel his injured jaw starting to bruise and swell up. He nearly fell off the stage, but he managed to grab onto the edge, fighting to pull himself back up. He did manage to perform an edge attack as his opponent lunged toward him, but now his strategy was in shambles. The green guy seemed to anticipate Dedede's every move.

Immediately, the two rushed at one another again, Dedede flailing his hammer this way and that, the other flipping and leaping out of harm's way and doing aerials and tilts in the process. His hand tingled from that forward smash and screamed at him to do it again. But first, he tripped the oversized penguin with his down tilt attack, threw in more roundhouse kicks for good measure, and then followed up with a barrage of straight jabs. He continued with this till his hand was sore, and before Dedede could even consider counterattacking, he roughly grasped him, headbutting him three times, and then swung him round and round till the centrifugal force scrambled his victim's mind. Finally, the relentless green fighting machine let go, and Dedede hurtled into the air. He came to his senses in time to avoid a K.O.

He was met by his challenger charging at him with flailing fists, which were easy to block with the hammer. As his confidence returned, he tried some smash attacks with his handy weapon, but a sorry few connected. He received another flip kick to his already bruised jaw, and a hard-hitting up smash met him during his descent, emitting another audible crunch. Finally, he lost it, a roar of pain tearing from his lips.

It was exactly what his opponent wanted to hear, and he was also starting to lose control. He was upon Dedede before it could register with the spectator's vision receptors, eyes alive with the heat of battle, face flushed, attacking from all directions. Sharp cracking and dull crunching continued to fill the air. Dedede's world was reduced to dozens of tiny Warp Stars. Brutal, heavy blows tore teeth lose and dislocated his beak, the upper part now cracked and dented. It was as if he was trapped in a force field, with no opportunity to escape, counter attack or even breathe, for that matter. The crowd was engrossed and secretly satiated as Dedede's damage meter climbed higher and higher till it couldn't climb any more. He was at 999%, and still his opponent kept going. Seven years of humiliation spilled onto the stage like the dark blood from Dedede's face. Now, there were rubbery "lips" where the beak used to be, and he was spitting out loose teeth and jaw fragments. And as Dedede looked into his opponent's blazing eyes, it hit him harder than the endless smash attacks.

He knew.

How that came about he didn't know. But he did know that he was in a heap of trouble, that there was no talking his way out of it, and that his opponent had come a long way from the man he ambushed on that dirt road. He'd seen how he rose through the Smash ranks, even besting some heavyweight fighters a few times, and he'd shrugged it off as nothing. Now, he was paying for it in spades. And now it was his turn to be frightened out of his wits.

With a shout of effort, the challenger slammed a straight jab into Dedede one final, glorious time. He was short of breath, and the time had come to end this once and for all. It was game over for the high and mighty gluttonous king, payback time for his unthinkable betrayal. There was nothing he could say or offer to change his mind. There was no hope for him. No mercy. No escape.

He knelt over Dedede, mouth to his ear. "You think bashing me with your hammer was funny?" he queried in a furious whisper. "You think my being spooked by your Waddle Dees was hilarious? Well, I'll show you hilarious!"

And with that, he grabbed Dedede once more, hurled him skyward, jumped up and slammed both feet into him, shattering his ribs, stopping his heart, and of course, K.O.-ing him.

"GAME!" yelled the announcer as the victor comically posed for the crowd.

So, you think I'm a wimp, eh? Well, everyone just saw the true wimp today. A true wimp is the one who attacks people from behind and secretly posts hurtful videos. And the day somebody lays hands on my big bro, they've really had it.

Yup, he's on a roll! Please read and review. I also accept OCs; just PM me with a brief description. See you next time!