Next chapter is up. I'll probably post these in groups of three or four. I know I'll try to get it all done quickly (mostly for my sake)
"Oh my god! He is adorable!"
"I just wanna take you home with me!"
Itachi hid behind Kisame, clinging to the swordsman's pant leg. The raven was being terrorized by a group of women who were enjoying fawning over him. Kisame chuckled at the younger's horrified expression and lifted him up.
"Don't worry Itachi-Chan, we can leave soon," he said cheerfully. Itachi gave Kisame a grateful smile and sent a glare towards the women who were now doting over Deidara.
"Danna un!" he cried, "Help me yeah." Sasori turned and saw the blonde surrounded by middle aged ladies, all squealing. He sweat dropped and fought through the small crowd to retrieve the thoroughly freaked out four year old.
"Excuse me ladies I think you're scaring him," he said smoothly. Their smiles grew even wider when they saw the good looking puppeteer, clutching the adorable child.
"Oh is he yours? You must be so proud!"
"He looks just like you!"
"I swear he has your nose!"
Sasori growled and pushed past them, heading towards Kisame. He scanned the crowd for Kakuzu.
"Where is that bastard so we can get out of here?" he growled. Kisame chuckled.
"You're just pissed because they think you're his father," he muttered. Sasori scowled.
"Hey kids, who wants sushi for dinner?" he asked slyly. Deidara pouted.
"You can't make sushi with shark un," he murmured. Kisame and Sasori sweat dropped.
They found Kakuzu a short while later, trying to strangle Hidan. This of course drew a crowd and several angry threats to call social services. Hidan was especially delighted when Kakuzu was smacked by a little old lady with a huge red handbag.
"That was fucking hilarious!" he exclaimed, strutting up to the counter with his purchases. Kisame and Sasori set down the clothes for Itachi and Deidara with Hidan's. Kakuzu fainted when the final price came to 36 000 ¥. Sasori considered leaving him there, much to Hidan's delight, but Kisame grudgingly dragged the miser back home.
Deidara, Hidan and Itachi walked up ahead, hoping to get back to base before they were attacked again.
Of course, enemy ninja were the least of their worries. In their current condition, they were more concerned about the mobs of women.
Once they arrived back at the base, they were greeted by Konan. She stared on, with a vacant expression at the sight of Hidan, Deidara and Itachi.
They looked up at her in confusion until a wide smile spread across her face
"Oh you are sweet!" she exclaimed, pulling them into a hug. They cringed but didn't deny the blunette her hug. Heads would roll otherwise. She straightened up, beaming at the three older partners.
"What happened to Kakuzu?" she asked curiously. The miser was still unconscious and looked a little worse for wear considering Kisame had dragged him along a dirt track on the way back home. Hidan snickered.
"The fucker had to spend money!" he giggled. Konan frowned at the Jashinist.
"Hidan, that language is bad!" she scolded, "But really, he needs to get over his money obsession." Hidan laughed even harder. They stepped back into the base and got changed into their new clothes. Once that was done, Deidara felt hungry. He turned to Sasori.
"Danna un?" he asked, "I'm hungry yeah." Sasori sighed.
"Come on then," he muttered. Deidara smiled widely, tottering after the puppet. They walked into the kitchen to see Hidan and Itachi seated at the table, Kisame and Konan making lunch. Sasori helped Deidara up onto a chair and sat down next to him. Konan smiled.
"It's nice to see all of you getting on so well!" she chuckled, stirring a pot of ramen. Sasori scowled.
"I'm just following orders," he retorted. Deidara pouted, looking down at his hands. Tiny tongues poked out at him, wagging happily. Konan gave the puppet a stern look.
"Now Sasori, that was mean!" she said warningly. Sasori rolled his eyes and ruffled the blonde's hair.
"You know I don't mean it brat," he muttered. Deidara smiled widely and hugged the redhead.
"I know Danna un!" he said happily, "Being mean is just in your nature yeah!"
Kisame chuckled heartily, dishing out the ramen for everyone.
"That's you told Sasori," he sniggered, "And by a four year old no less!" The puppet scowled and threw a spoon at the shark, who dodged it easily.
They ate their meal in a comfortable atmosphere, Deidara, Hidan, Kisame and Konan chatting away, while Sasori talked quietly to Itachi.
They were finished and washing up when Zetsu appeared.
"So you did get turned into brats," he remarked with a smirk. Hidan and Deidara scowled.
"Not our fault un," snapped the blonde, "We didn't ask for this yeah!" Zetsu just chuckled.
"Whatever you say Deidara-Chan," he replied, "Pein is calling a meeting. Everyone is to report to the meeting room."
Kisame washed up quickly and then grabbed Itachi's hand before walking into the meeting room. Itachi cringed.
"You know Kisame," he began quietly, "I am capable of walking around the base on my own." Kisame chuckled and released his hand.
"Whatever you say Itachi-Chan," he said, smiling. Itachi walked quickly towards the meeting room and climbed up into his chair. Kisame plopped down in his seat Itachi and Sasori. Said puppet was watching Deidara struggle to climb into his chair. Being the smallest of the three now four year olds, he was glaring at the high backed chair with determination in his big blue eyes. Sasori chuckled at his brat's misfortune and gave him a boost. He pouted, glaring at the red head.
"I don't need help Danna un!" he muttered. Sasori smirked.
"Save it brat, you're helpless."
Hidan went to the living room to get Kakuzu.
"Oi fuckface, we're having a meeting," he shouted, jumping onto the elder's stomach. Kakuzu woke with a start, snarled at the Jashinist and threw him across the room. Hidan yelped and rubbed the back of his head.
"What the hell was that for you bastard!" he exclaimed. Kakuzu smirked and stood up from the couch. He grabbed Hidan's upper arm and dragged him down the hall.
Once in the meeting room, he dumped Hidan in his seat and took his place between Hidan and the vacant seat.
Finally, Zetsu arrived with Pein and took his place. Pein sat at the head of the table. He surveyed the members, finding it rather amusing that the three victims of age reversal were barely visible at their places.
"Alright, as you all know, Hidan, Deidara and Itachi were cursed with an age reversal jutsu," he announced. Hidan snorted.
"What to state the fucking obvious!" he snarled. Pein held up a hand, silencing the Jashinist. He continued.
"Now, I've been doing some research into the subject. It seems there are several villages that either experimented with this type of jutsu in the past, or are still studying it."
He checked around to make sure everyone was listening.
"Therefore, I have decided to send you out to these villages, to try and collect information on the jutsu and the people responsible for the attack on our members."
He finished and looked at the questioning faces of his subordinates. Sasori frowned.
"Will brat, Hidan and Itachi be going with us?" he asked. Pein shook his head.
"They may go with you at the moment but as their minds deteriorate, they will have to stay behind at the base. You will have to protect them. Itachi still has the Sharingan and Deidara can still use clay; however Hidan may need extra protection."
The zealot growled and jumped onto the table.
"What the fuck Pein?" he snapped, "I'm not Jashin damned helpless!"
Pein smirked.
"I never said you were Hidan, however in your current condition it would be impossible for you to wield your scythe," he pointed out. Hidan pouted and flopped back into his chair. Kakuzu saw fit to smack him up the head.
Pein rolled his eyes.
"Anyway first of all I want to send out Sasori and Deidara to Kusa. We have a contact there who works on analysing jutsu from different countries."
The two artists nodded, Deidara grinning mischievously. Pein handed a scroll to Sasori before turning to Kisame and Itachi.
"You two will go to Konoha, and break into their intelligence division," he said clearly, "They may have information there."
Kisame frowned.
"Will they not recognise Itachi-Chan?" he asked nervously. Pein smirked and shook his head.
"They won't, you will both be disguised, plus anyone who knew what Itachi looked like when he was young is either dead or will have forgotten that he was once an innocent child and will have replaced that image with a monster," he replied, smugly.
Itachi flinched internally. He cursed silently. The jutsu was beginning to mess with his emotions already.
"And finally Hidan and Kakuzu will go to Oto," Pein finished, handing the scroll to Kakuzu, who took it questioningly.
"Why Oto?" he asked.
"Orochimaru is obsessed with immortality," Pein explained, "I think it is likely that he would have some information on aging jutsu. I would have sent Itachi and Kisame but there is a risk that our ex member will try to kidnap him again. Therefore sending our Immortal Duo seemed more feasible."
Everyone nodded, seeing sense in their leader's decisions. Pein stood up.
"Everyone will be ready to leave by tomorrow noon," he said, "You are dismissed."
