Castiel stood up on the rooftop and tried to calm his mind. He wanted Nathaniel. He wanted to be the reason for his smile and laugh. He hated how much he damn near needed that goody-two-shoes.

"I figured you'd be hiding up here." called the very voice he didn't need when he was feeling so vulnerable.

"What's it to ya?" Castiel asked, not turning to face the man he loved so much.

"What? I'm not allowed to be a little worried over a friend?" Nathaniel asked as he came over to the rail of the roof that Castiel was leaning on.

"Worried?" Castiel asked, a hint of suspicion to his voice.

"You've been acting different. I thought you might want to talk to someone." Nathaniel said with a sigh.

"Like you would know." Castiel told him though he couldn't help but wonder why Nathaniel was so worried over him.

Nathaniel stared him down, almost glaring at him. "Look, I get we don't always see eye-to-eye but we are friends. Maybe not the closest but that doesn't change how I see us."

Castiel scoffed at him and then stared him down. "What if I want to change how you see us? What if I want you to see things differently?"

"How do you mean?" Nathaniel asked him, light brown eyes shining in curiosity.

Castiel's dark gray eyes narrowed. He looked away from Nathaniel now. Not really sure how to word this. "Forget it."

Nathaniel didn't move his gaze at all. "Forget it? That's really your answer?"

No. I just don't think I can handle wording it. Castiel thought as he stayed quiet.

"I don't even know why I bothered coming up here. I should have known you'd just shut me out." Nathaniel said and turned to leave. "If you'd let people in the way you do Marko and Lysander, maybe you'd be happier."

Castiel bit his lip as Nathaniel said that. He could hear Nathaniel headed off towards the stairwell that led back inside. He ran after him and grabbed Nathaniel's wrist just before he got hold of the doorknob. Nathaniel looked at him in a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"Suddenly want to talk?" Nathaniel asked him, trying to bite back the bit of annoyance he felt. Though he wasn't sure what to think with the surprised expression on Castiel's face. Did he even plan this?

Castiel couldn't even register what he was doing. He'd just grabbed Nathaniel's wrist without any thought. He didn't let go, though he could see Nathaniel wasn't even trying to get out of his grasp. He gulped and searched Nathaniel's eyes before deciding it was now or never. He pressed Nathaniel back against the door.

Nathaniel searched Castiel's eyes. He could feel his body tense up. As if expecting to get hit or something. With his past though, it was a pretty natural reaction. He felt Castiel let go of his hand and clutch his shirt collar before kissing him. Nathaniel blinked a moment as he tried to register what was happening.

Castiel's...kissing me? Nathaniel thought as his eyes widened. He wasn't even sure if he even liked this.

Castiel stepped back after a moment and noticed the confusion in Nathaniel's widened eyes. He bit his lip again and let go of Nathaniel. "Shit, I shouldn't have done that."

Nathaniel looked down now. His bangs hiding his eyes. "So that's why...you've been acting weird lately."

"Yeah." Castiel said and looked away. "I'm not apologizing for that. I...do feel that way about you."

Nathaniel didn't know how to take this sudden confession. Let alone the kiss he'd just been given. He wasn't mad. He wasn't annoyed. Those were the two emotions he expected to feel. Instead he was just confused.

Castiel's embarrassment was starting to eat at him. "Say something will ya?"

Nathaniel looked up at him now and smiled lightly at the faint sign of Castiel's embarrassment. "I'm not mad, if that'll put your mind at ease."

Castiel looked over at him, unsure if that really put him at ease with his heart racing as fast as it was.

"I'm not really sure how I feel about this." Nathaniel answered honestly, "But I know I'm not angry or upset. Just...confused."

Castiel let out a small sigh of relief. "That's something I guess."

Nathaniel stood straight and shoved his hands into his pockets. "So...how long?"

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked him.

Nathaniel looked away. "How long have you liked me?"

Castiel was a little surprised by the question. "Junior year." he answered quietly.

Nathaniel looked back to him just to see how much this was embarrassing for Castiel. Though it wasn't that much less embarrassing for him.

"That long?" Nathaniel questioned and gave a soft smile. "I promise you'll get an answer by the time this vacation ends."

Castiel's eyes widened at that. He couldn't help but smirk. He held a hand out to Nathaniel. "Shake on it."

Nathaniel chuckled. "Promise." He took Castiel's hand only to get pulled into another kiss. Part of him expected that outcome. The other part not so much. He didn't even fight it. He felt his eyes close as Castiel wrapped an arm around his waist to hold him closer.

Castiel hadn't intended to kiss him again but his desire had won over. He wanted to taste more of Nathaniel. He wanted to explore more of him and feel their bodies connect but he knew he couldn't push too far. This kiss goodnight was all he'd allow himself. Even this was pushing his restraint to its limits.

"C-Cas..." Nathaniel murmured into the kiss. This wasn't going to be an easy next few days. That kiss was telling him that much.

Castiel felt himself get heated up more when he heard Nathaniel murmur his name. He trailed kisses to Nathaniel's neck, nipping lightly along the way.

"Y-you're hardly...being...fair..." Nathaniel whimpered in Castiel's arms.

Castiel smirked against Nathaniel's neck. "Trust me...this is being plenty fair with how much I want to do."

Nathaniel couldn't help the blush that crossed his cheeks. "Wh-what?" he gasped.

"You heard me." Castiel answered and kissed Nathaniel tenderly on the lips once more before slowly letting him go.

"Should I be worried about any unexpected night time visits?" Nathaniel asked with a faint smirk upon his lips.

"Might want to lock your door just in case." Castiel replied, obviously teasing.

"I'll keep that in mind." Nathaniel said with a light laugh. He headed down the stairs towards his room after that.

Castiel let out a sigh. "Well he didn't say 'no' and he seemed to enjoy it." He lit up another cigarette and took a drag. "This is going to make me insane. I can already tell."

Little did he know that Nathaniel was in his room, leaning up against the bedroom door, with a bright blush over his face and his hand over his lips. He could tell that if this kept up he'd become more confused about what Castiel was making him feel. He moved his hand from his lips to his chest and clutched his shirt just above his heart. His mind was racing. He could still feel Castiel's lips on his own. He could still feel those strong arms wrapped around him.

Nathaniel shook his head and locked his bedroom door. He stripped down to his boxers and slipped under the covers of his bed. "Dammit. This is gonna make me insane."