Chapter Two: Seven Deadly Spaceships

"There's so many of them!" Krillin squeaked as he stared at the vast army that the alien spaceships had transported to earth.

"No worries," Goten laughed," We'll get them."

"But just in case," Trunks shrugged, "go back to Kame House and Capsule Corp and get some back up. Okay?"

"No problem!" Krillin yelled as he flew off to find their fellow warriors.

"So how do we go about this?" Goten asked.

"Let's just start hitting things until stuff falls down or gives up," Gohan suggested.

"Good idea. But first-" Trunks began to say. Suddenly a female voice echoed through the air, addressing the space invaders and drowning out all other conversation.

"Hold it right there alien scum!" the female voice said, "We will not allow you to harm our planet! Evil doers will not be tolerated!" The aliens looked around frantically trying to find the source of the voice. Then they all noticed the two sailor suited fighters standing on the roof top of a near by kosher deli.

"I am Sailor Moon!" shouted Sailor Moon.

"And I am Sailor Venus!" shouted Sailor Venus.

"And we will punish you!" Sailor Moon and Sailor Venus chanted in unison.

Goten stared up at the two Sailor Scouts in amazement. They were beautiful and dressed in really tight outfits with short skirts.

"Gohan," Goten said, "I don't think I can fight today, I suddenly have a raging boner."

"Goten control yourself!" Gohan slapped Goten on the back of the head, "Just think of the time you accidently walked in on Mom in the shower."

"Not cool bro!" Goten trembled, his erection shriveling away, "I'll never get a stiffy again with thoughts like that in my head!"

"Damn that Sailor Moon is hot," Trunks said, "Wouldn't it be something if we could get her to make-out with that Usagi chick we just met?"

"Oh crap my boner's back," Goten sighed.

"Let's just start fighting and worry about our penises later!" Gohan flew forward and began attacking the aliens that stood in military formation bellow the first ship. With a nod Trunks agreed and attacked the aliens bellow the second ship. Goten (with a bit of a struggle due to his erection) attacked the aliens bellow the third ship.

"Hey," Sailor Venus whispered to Sailor Moon, "Aren't those the major cute guys from the diner?"

"I think you're right…" Sailor Moon whispered back, "Hey, Venus, I have a question. If they're going to fight does that mean that we don't have too?"

"Nonsense!" Venus said, "Its time to attack." With that said Venus jumped from the top of the building and joined the battle, "Venus Love & Beauty Shock!" Venus's powerful attack cut through the flesh of a cluster of evil invading alien forces.

"Eww," Sailor Moon mumbled staring down at the horde of disgusting aliens. The aliens were short and stubby blob like creatures, with fierce looking strong arms and tentacles instead of legs. Their skin was urine yellow and each alien seemed to be covered from head to tentacle in orange and brown boils. The boils seemed to be continuously discharging putrid purple puss.

"Sailor Moon, don't just stand there!" Venus yelled.

"Oh, alright!" Sailor Moon cried joining the battle, "Moon Tiara Action!" Her Tiara slashed through the atmosphere mutilating any alien in its path.

Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Mercury then arrived at the scene. Each one quickly joined the battle without hesitation.

"Oh God!" Goten yelled, "Why when I have to concentrate on fighting are there suddenly so many girls in tiny short skirts!" The alien army attacked with a storm of grenades. The grenades set off a wave of explosions pulsing rhythmically to the ground. Krillin, at last, returned with Piccolo, Vegeta, Yamcha and Android #18 flying closely beside him.

"I'm back!" Krillin yelled, "And we're all ready to kick some alien ass!"

"Good work Krillin," Gohan said ducking to avoid a ray gun blast from one of the unpleasant extraterrestrials' rifles, "These aliens aren't that tough but there are sure a lot of them!"

"Alright! Let's beat up some aliens!" Yamcha screamed.

"Krillin!" Trunks yelled.

"What?" Krillin shouted back.

"You brought Yamcha?" Trunks scolded, "He has become the most useless bastard on the planet! Why would you bring him!?"

"Give Yamcha a break, Trunks," Android #18 said, "With you kids growing up so fast Yamcha's one use as a babysitter has become obsolete!"

"With any luck he will die in battle and no longer be a bother," Piccolo added as he delivered a mighty punch, knocking down several rows of alien invaders.

"Cowabunga!" Yamcha shrieked charging towards a group of aliens.

Brandishing his sword, Trunks sliced through many alien enemies; five and sometimes seven at a time. Utilizing Bakurikimaha, Vegeta quickly eliminated two of the seven space crafts. Tentacles, without owners, flung about the battle field, still twitching as they hit the ground. Blissfully enjoying the sounds of aliens dying Vegata laughed and flew through the crowd of invaders ripping open each throat he passed. With ease Piccolo used his Makenkosappo to destroy a third ship and then a fourth. Krillin concentrated on the land attackers gashing through them with multiple Destructo Discs. Shrieks of the dying alien aggressors echoed as their blood spewed from their bodies. Sniping aliens with energy blasts Gohan and Goten competed to see who could build up a grander death count. Android #18 tore through the chest cavities of the invaders with one blow of her fist. Corpses and pieces of aliens were tossed about like confetti.

On the other side of the battle field the Sailor Scouts destroyed a massive quantity of aliens with there vicious attacks.

"Mars Burning Mandala!" Mars yelled scorching her opponents with a circle of fire.

"Jupiter Supreme Thunder Dragon!" Jupiter called out blasting an alien ship into scrap metal.

"Mercury Bubble Spray!" Mercury said filling the air with bubbles.

Vegeta glared over at the Sailor Scouts across the battled field, "God damn it, who are these bitches and why are they spraying bubbles about!?!"

"They're helping, Dad!" Trunks called out to his father.

"I don't need help!" Vegeta spat back, "I am a Saiyan! Saiyans don't need help from bubble blowing bitches!"

"Calm down, Vegeta," Krillin laughed, "Why do you always have to be such a spazzoid?"

"Shut-up!" Vegeta bellowed, "You're just jealous because I'm fucking Bulma."

"Hell, I'm jealous that you're fucking, Bulma," Android #18 cackled as she snapped the necks of her foes.

"Stooooooop," Goten squealed, "You guys are making my erection worse!"

At a long last the tedious battle finally came to a close. (After 1 hour 46 minutes and 34 seconds to be exact) The space invaders were defeated. (With a record of only a 144 count of dead innocent bystanders) Finally the Earth was once again safe.

"Victory!" Vegeta chuckled as he flew away from the battle field covered in alien blood.

"After battle sex?" Android #18 suggested to her husband.

"Take me. I'm yours," Krillin blushed as Android #18 grabbed his wrist and drag him off to have her way with him.

"I'm defiantly going home to masturbate now!" Goten flew off.

"Awww crap," Piccolo said staring down at Yamcha's body.

"Is he dead?" Gohan said hopefully.

"No," Piccolo said, "He's still twitching."

"Should we give him a Senzu bean?" Gohan asked.

"No," Piccolo grumbled, "Let's just take him to the hospital. He's not worth wasting a Senzu bean." Piccolo picked up Yamcha's twitching useless body and flew towards the hospital, with Gohan close behind.

By the time Trunks had finished listening to the antics of his warrior companions the Sailor Scouts were gone.

"Shit," Trunks said kicking the ground. I wanted to talk to that Sailor Moon girl."

"Oh thank you!" an annoying voice shrilled out. Trunks turned to see a nerdy, over-sized glasses wearing, twig of a human boy come running towards him. "Hello, my name is Melvin!" the boy said, "And I just wanted to say thank you for saving us all!" Melvin hugged Trunks.

"Ummm, okay" Trunks said, "Stop hugging me or I'll snap your arms off."

"Okay!" Melvin said releasing Trunks from his hug, "But you are still my hero! Anything you need, I will get for you! Anything you want to do to me, I am here to be abused! I am your grateful slave!" Melvin got on his knees and bowed down to Trunks.

"You got brain damage or something, Nerd Boy?" Trunks stated, "Get up."

"Yes my hero, I shall rise at your request!" Melvin sang, "Anything else I may do for you my wonderful hero?!"

"No, now go---" about to tell Melvin to go away, Trunks paused and thought a moment, "Wait," Trunks said, "Do you by any chance know anything about that girl Sailor Moon?"

"Sailor Moon?" Melvin tittered, "Oh me and Larry know all about Sailor Moon. She's my hero too. I've been stalking her for years."

"Who's Larry?" Trunks questioned.

"Oh how rude of me! This is Larry," Melvin gestured beside him. There was no one standing beside Melvin.

"Uh, I don't see him," Trunks said.

"That's because only I can see him," Melvin said, "My mom says he's imaginary, but she drinks a lot so I know she's wrong."

"Whatever," Trunks rolled his eyes, debating whether or not to leave.

"Larry has been my good friend for awhile now," Melvin explained, "You see last year my girlfriend drank a whole bunch of windshield wiper fluid right after the first time we had intercourse…anyway long story short, then I met Larry, and he's now my best friend!"

"So do you know about Sailor Moon or not?" Trunks sighed.

"Of course!" Melvin said happily as he pulled out a small notebook and flipped it open, "Let's see…Sailor Moon is really a high school student who is often found talking to cats with little crescent moons on their heads. She was dating this guy named Tuxedo Mask but he's 'out of commission' for awhile on account of somehow he manage to skewer his own penis with a red rose. Sailor Moon's favorite color is pink, her favorite perfume is called Hathor's Vanilla Dalliance, and she often wears lacy underwear that suites her favorite color…."

"Do you know what her real name is?" Trunks asked.

"Of course!" Melvin told Trunks, "Her real name is Usagi. I have her address, home phone number, cell phone number, e-mail, and MySpace page if you want it."

"Home address and cell phone should be fine for now," Trunks pondered a moment, "Did you say, Usagi?"

"Yep, yep, yep!" Melvin answered.

"Wow, I wonder if it was the same Usagi I was talking to in Fezzik's." Trunks chuckled.

Melvin nodded, "It was."

"You know that for a fact?" Trunks raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, yes," Melvin nodded again, "Larry and I were stalking her today. We took notice that she was wearing her pink panties with the violet fridge today." Melvin got quiet for a moment and stared at the empty space next to him and began behaving as if he was listening to someone. Turning back to Trunks, Melvin said, "Larry told me to tell you that we are currently auctioning a pair of Sailor Moon's panties online, but since you're our hero and all, we will be willing to give them to you for free. Besides we have plenty more. The current pair for auction is a pair of pink cotton panties with a picture of a white fluffy rabbit on the front and a carrot on the back. A SUGGESTIVE carrot if you know what I mean!"

"Thanks, but no thanks," Trunks said, "I live with my dad and my dad has some major anger issues towards carrots; so I'm not allowed to bring anything with a carrot or resembling a carrot into the house. My little sister left a carrot out once for the Easter Bunny and my dad…kind of well…went ape, literally. And now we go and visit the Mailman's grave every Easter Sunday"

"Ah I see," Melvin swallowed, slightly frightened by the story. Melvin could tell Larry was now a little nervous too. "Uh so we have other panties…without carrots of course." Melvin offered, "Larry says you might like the blue ones with the pink sparkly stars on it…."

"No, that's okay," Trunks laughed, "Just give me her address and cell phone number. I have my own way of getting a hold of Sailor Moon's panties."

Special thanks to my littlest sister for helping me edit this chapter in between her very busy college responsibilities.

(And extra thanks because she brought me back a cute wooden turtle key chain from Cuba!)

More chapters coming real soon. I promise! Your reviews inspire me to write and edit quicker! Thank you for your support.