CHAPTER II SACHIKO
"Do you need something Sachiko?" Oneesama said when she noticed me standing by the door of the library. It's that time of the year already, third years taking entrance exams for college but that's not what I came here for though.
"Good evening oneesama," I said as I enter the library and sat down across oneesama.
"Good evening"
"I was wondering if you know why Yuki haven't been showing up in the Yamayurikai for the whole week." I know oneesama has been waiting for this, for me to ask her.
"Miss him?" and there it is. I knew she's up to something.
"I was merely asking. Good night," I was going to stand-up and leave when she told me to sit down.
"He's in the orchestra club now. He was just a temporary help to the council. He doesn't have a reason to stay at the Yamayurikai anymore," she was goading me and I didn't give her the pleasure of showing any reaction. I went back in my room feeling disappointed. I know it's more than disappointment but I don't really know how I feel about him. Is it friendship? An oneesama-kind of feeling? Maybe it's him I want to train to replace me someday.
What was I expecting from him? Was I hoping for something? I don't like this. I'm not one to think about a boy. I do know that I like his company. I'll talk to him tomorrow. With that I felt much better.
I didn't think I'd be able to see him after school so I decided to talk to him at lunch. I found him eating with a couple of girls. When he met my eyes he looked guilty for some reason. I wonder what he did.
"Good day, Sachiko-sama" he said standing up and his companions followed.
I held up a hand. "Good day, I didn't mean to disturb your lunch but Yuki I have some things I would like to talk to you about. Would you mind joining me for a walk?"
"Y-yes," the look on his face looks conflicted.
"It's okay Yuki-kun," glasses girl, who I remember is from photography club, seems to understand his hesitation.
"Thank you."
We started walking to the path leading to the rose mansion. "I was informed you're in the orchestra club now."
"Yes, I am. I play the violin." He's too formal when he's with me but with those girls he was open and laughing. Am that hard of a companion?
"I'm sorry for taking you away from your friends." It's selfish of me of course. I wanted his company that's why I asked him for a walk but I didn't consider his feelings on the matter at all.
"It's okay."
"Tell me, do I bother you Yuki?" I blurted out.
"Wha-! No! It's just that… Like they said you're "The Sachiko Ogasawa". How can I just casually treat you like that?" He was panicking with all the hand gestures. I couldn't help but laugh. "You're laughing at me," he looked dejected.
"I'm sorry but you truly are a unique character Yuki."
"I don't know if I should be happy by that."
"I like you like that. In fact I would be grateful if you act more openly with me. When you treat me so formally it makes me feel like you're pushing me away." I studied his reaction: shock-awe-and-then-guilt. I couldn't help but chuckle again. I wonder how many expression I can induce him to do. "So Yuki tell me when did you start playing the violin?" I decided that I teased him enough already so I changed the topic.
"My bro- I mean my sister and I started doing it for fun. I chose the violin and she chose the piano. Every after we learn a piece we'll have our mini concert in our living room with the helpers as our audience," he continued talking about his sister. How she would pout when they don't play well; How ticklish she is; how she would whine when she doesn't get what she wants. It was obvious that he's very fond of his sister. I was actually getting jealous for some reason I rather not know. "Things started to change though after she died when we were ten," he looked solemn. We stopped walking. I wanted to hold him but I didn't. I just stared at him and he look ahead on the path.
"I'm sorry."
"No," he shook his head. "It was long ago. I was the one who blurted it out. You didn't ask."
We continued walking until it was time for the afternoon classes and we separated ways. He did ask if I could watch their practice sometime.
#
Rei and I were on our way to the Rose Mansion for a meeting when I saw a girl talking to Yuki alone. I was wondering what they were talking about. The girl seems to be blushing looking at her feet and Yuki looked hurt. Maybe I should check on him but I can't do it now, maybe tomorrow at lunch.
"Sachiko? Are you okay?" Rei asked. I must have zoned out.
"I'm okay Rei."
"Are you sure? After lunch you looked happy and now-"
"I'm okay Rei. You don't have to worry."
"If you say so. Just know I'm here."
"I know Rei. It's nothing really." I smiled at him reassuringly. Rei is sweetheart and I know I can trust him with everything but what do I say to him 'I'm worried that a friend is talking to a girl?'
Once we got in the meeting room Sei-sama has that smirk on his face and my sister smiling at me so did the others. "If you want to say something just out with it." I guess I'm in a bad mood than I thought.
"Oh my, what happened? I thought you had a good alone time with Yuki-kun earlier?" Oneesama asked.
"I don't remember telling you something like that," I said while getting to work with some papers.
"Words fly fast Sachan," Sei-sama smirked. I kept quiet. If I said anything Sei-sama would just drag the conversation on-and-on-and-on and I'm not in the mood for that.
"So that's why Yuki-kun looked very happy when he came back after lunch," Shimako smiled. He was happy? That's a relief. I wonder what he's doing with that girl though. It's not time to think about that Sachiko.
"Aren't you happy Sachan?"
"I am Sei-sama. Now please if we could start the meeting," I glared at him. My reply seemed to please him because he laughed and we started the meeting.
#
"So the girl confessed to you?" Yuki nodded and he rubbed his head. "Why didn't you say yes?"
"I told you. I can't let myself fall for someone." He looked away.
"Why?" I probed further. If he can't fall for someone then that means he can't- stop Sachiko. I shut the thought away.
"I cannot tell you. It concerns my family as well."
"I see."
We walked in silence. I was occupied with my own thoughts and so was he. When I look at him it hurts a little. He said so himself that he can't fall for someone.
We continued accompanying each other every lunch break. I know it wasn't a good idea but I still wanted his company. It would have been better if I asked him to join the council again but I never asked him. He sometimes comes with me when the Yamayurikai had meetings during lunch. We learned how to deal with the members when they start to tease us.
"So Yuki, how far had you two went?" Sei-sama asked.
"Wha-wha-wha-wha!"
Let me rephrase it. I learned how to deal with the teasing but Yuki being Yuki still panics at those kind of questions. It's amusing in a way.
"You know, people already think/established that you're a couple. Why not make it official?" Yoshino asked. Why not indeed? I already know the answer to that.
"We don't have such relationship to make official Yoshino."
"Why?" I looked at her and I couldn't answer. What should I say? Because he doesn't like me in the way I do? There was an awkward silence. I was saved by a knock on the door.
"I'll take that," Shimako said, standing up.
We started the meeting after Shimako came back with fresh baked bread from the cooking club.
#
"It's almost Valentine's day," Yoshino said as we walked in the girls' dormitory.
"The Newspaper club is going to have that event again," oneesama said.
"I still don't approve of it," I said sternly.
"It's not up to you Sachiko. You, Rei and Shimako are going to participate in this."
"I'm going to find Rei's no matter what," Yoshino exclaimed.
"Maybe Yuki would find yours," oneesama teased.
"It's not funny oneesama," I said and walked ahead to my room.
"What's the matter Sachiko?" Oneesama said as she entered my room.
"It's nothing."
"It's not nothing if you're acting this way."
"."
"Is it Yuki?" She sat on my bed while I fixed my things. "Do you like him Sachiko?"
"I think you already know the answer to that."
"But I would be happy if you say it yourself. Is it that hard to accept your feelings for him Sachiko?"
"It is when you know you'll just get rejected in the end. Please don't forget I have a fiancé already."
"Screw Kashiwagi! Now what is this about getting rejected?" I stared at her and sat with her on the bed.
"He-he said he can't allow himself to fall for anyone."
"Oh my, why's that?"
"He didn't say. It's just it concerns his family."
"The Fukuzawas."
"Yes."
"Are you giving up on him then?"
"But oneesama, what do you want me to do? Beg him? I don't even think he feels the same way for me."
"Silly! Only a blind man can't see that he's in love with you." My sister chuckled.
"Lo-love? Are you sure oneesama?" I asked. Why didn't he say anything? Of course he wouldn't! Is he really?
"It's up to you to believe but I know what I see. When he looks at you it's not just friendship."
"You will take responsibility for giving me hope oneesama."
"I'm always here for you Sachiko. And don't worry about Kashiwagi." She gave me that smile and we bid each other good night.
#
"Sachiko-sama?"
"Yes?" Yuki looked at me in worry. He sat across from me in the greenhouse.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes I am Yuki. What is it?"
"Well, I've been talking about how the girls in my class keep on talking about chocolates, Valentine's Day, and a treasure hunt. I was asking what this treasure hunt is all about."
"I'm sorry Yuki. I have been thinking of something else." He looked disappointed. "The treasure hunt is an event the Newspaper club holds annually. The winner will win a half-day date with the en boutons."
"You're participating in this Sachiko-sama?"
"Sadly, yes."
"That's bothersome," Yuki mumbled. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear that or if he was talking to himself.
"Are you going to join the hunt?" I asked hopefully.
"I don't think so. I won't be here starting on the 12th to the 14th. My father asked for my company during a meeting with some investors."
"I see." I can't help but get disappointed though. That means I can't give him chocolates as well.
"But- I will be back late in the afternoon. The meeting is on the 13th and I'll flying back on the 14th."
"That's good!" It means I'll still be making that chocolate then. "I hope you get back fast."
"I will. So what are the rules?"
"You'll see. They'll be giving flyers by tomorrow." We enjoyed the weather until it was time for class.
"Let's go?" Yuki extended his hand. For a boy his hands are soft. Aside the guards and the men in the family I've never held any boy's hand except Yuki's. I like holding his hand even if it's just for a few seconds. I took his hand and we started walking back to the outer palace.
"You've become quiet famous among the females," I told him.
"Maybe because they think we're together? Since The Sachiko Ogasawara has high standard, little Yuki must be something as well." He chuckled. He didn't sound insulted despite his words.
"I don't see it that way."
"Then, how- how do you see me Sachiko-sama?" he was looking straight ahead blushing. I smiled.
"What can I say? I don't think highly of you." I laughed when he pouted.
"You're making fun of me."
"Maybe I am," I said and walked ahead of him. To my surprise he started overtaking me. "Yuki!"
He turned and smirked at me. "Slow poke." And he left me. Once I recovered I started following him. He waited for me at the gates with a big smile on his face.
"You think you're so great for leaving a lady alone Yuki?"
"No, but I think you're heavier than me so I don't think of you as a lady," there he go again.
"Excuse me?" I glared at him. "I. Am. Not. Heavier. Than. You."
"Well, we're the same height. 48," he challenged.
"45" okay, I was lying. But a girl got her dignity to protect.
"Is that so?" he looked at me suspiciously. "Then I apologize for leaving you Lady Sachiko," he said dramatically and knelled in apology.
"You my stand young lad," I said playing along.
The next second we were laughing. I knew there were people watching us but I'm not really one to care what other people think.
The day before Yuki left he visited the Yamayurikai. I haven't been seeing him in a while. I was busy practicing making different chocolates during break so it was nice seeing him but he looked troubled though.
"May I borrow Sachiko-sama for a few minutes?"
"Oh! You can take her home Yuki," Eriko-sama teased.
"Um, I'll bring her back right away," he mumbled.
Once out he didn't say anything until we got in the greenhouse.
"Sachiko-sama, did I upset you by any means?" he asked looking desperate.
"Why Yuki? What's wrong?" I instinctively reached my hand to his face. He looked hurt. It was the first time I touched him this way. He leaned on my hand a little and I smiled. This feels good.
"It's just, were you avoiding me?"
"Why would I? Yuki~"
"I saw you a few times and called on you but you didn't look my way at all. This few days I asked if we could eat lunch together, you've refused. It's just you never done that without giving me a reason." He looked down at his feet. He looks so cute. I guess I was too preoccupied about chocolates and valentines to notice that I'm not giving him much attention anymore. I'm starting to act like those girls in class, getting excited about valentines. Sigh.
"My, have I been neglecting my Yuki?" I teased him. I guess oneesama was right. I at least think Yuki likes me as well but does he love me?
"Sachiko-sama, I'm sorry if I act too needy," he said and leaned his forehead on my shoulder. I felt my heart beat faster on my ears. This is the first time this happened to me. I hope I'm not turning red. His proximity is doing things to me I can't explain but it felt good, great even.
"It's okay Yuki, just be yourself," I whispered and I felt him breathe deeper. He lifted his head and said thank you. I removed my hand from him. How I wish to I could make it last longer. We sat by the bench and I told him that I've been preoccupied with a few things I couldn't tell him. He accepted it saying he'd be there when I need someone to talk to.
#
"So what happened earlier?" oneesama asked the second she got in my room.
"Nothing"
"Now don't lie to me Sachiko. You're practically glowing. SO little sis. What did prince charming say?" Oneesama and I never had this kind of conversation. This is a bit awkward for me. "I'm not going to leave until you tell me."
"I guess you'll have to sleep on the couch."
"Oh really? I'm the one sitting on the bed right now." She smirked at me. I stared at her and I know she won't leave until she's satisfied.
"Fine." So I told her except the heart beating fast thing. By the time I finished she was smiling widely at me and I couldn't help but feel happy too. Now, I just got to make that chocolate perfect.
#
The whole morning I've been constantly looking at my watch. Rei once told me to stop doing it. "He will be back late afternoon, it's still early," she said.
"I know," but I couldn't help look at my watch again and he shrugged and snickered at my behavior. I know he's happy for me that I'm finally opening up to someone.
The Yamayurikai decided to have lunch at the Rose mansion. The event will start at three and ends at five.
"Youko!" Sei-sama burst in the door with a handful of chocolates. "Where's my chocolate?" he strutted towards oneesama.
"You're already holding a lot of chocolates Sei," Oneesama said, sounding pissed. The same thing happened last year. Sei-sama accepting all chocolates given to him. He asks oneesama's handmade ones. Oneesama says she didn't make any. Sei-sama doesn't believe her. Oneesama doesn't budge. He stops pestering oneesama and sits quietly for the rest of the day. The next day he'd be the happiest dog you see. I wonder if happens again.
"Rei-chan! What is that?" Yoshino yelled once Rei entered with a box.
"Cho-co-lates?" Rei looked frightened and Yoshino glaring at him.
"Isn't it a nice day Sachiko-sama?" Shimako asked while the two couples in the room had their lovers' quarrel.
"Yes, indeed," I said as I sip my tea as well.
"Knock knock! My, it's lively here," Eriko-sama entered. Shimako stood up to get her tea. "Thank you Shimako." She looked around and sighed. "I think your love life has much more development than mine Sachiko."
"Where will that lead me?" Shimako asked.
"Don't worry Shimako, we'll find you a handsome young lad." Eriko-sama winked.
"I'd prefer a beautiful lady," Shimako said offhandedly that we had to double take what she said. The room got quite, the two couple included.
"Shimako," Sei-sama started.
"It's okay onii-san. Everyone, I'm sure you heard me clearly. I'd understand if you think of me differently. I'd un-understand if you choose to avoid me. I just-want you to know because I consider you all dear to me. I cannot lie to myself any longer or to you." In a second Sei-sama was beside Shimako. Oneesama stood up and hugged Shimako as well, whispering to her.
"Now I'm mad!" Yoshino shouted.
"Yoshino!" Rei sound horrified but no one held Yoshino back as she stomped to Shimako who remained seated.
"I thought we're closer than this! Why didn't you tell me? DO you think so low of me? That I'd avoid you just because you prefer girls over boys? Now whose the prejudice?! You should know yourself that you are you! Why would I see you differently?!" Yoshino breathed hard. And Shimako was crying. She lunged herself at Yoshino and both of them cried, holding each other.
"Thank you~" Shimako whispered.
"Geez, idiot," Yoshino said.
I smiled at Shimako when she met my eye. Eriko-sama and Rei was accepting as well. Other than Shimako liking girls nothing changed in Yamayurikai. I just wish Yuki was here. I miss him already. It's been three days.
"I kind of feel pity of the guys fighting over Shimako's card," I said with a smile. I really don't pity them at all, just amused. The girls laughed.
"There's zero probability of pregnancy as well when she does it with her partner," Yoshino blurted.
"Yoshino!" Rei exclaimed in horror.
"Oh God!" Shimako turned red.
The roses laughed their hearts out. And me? I agree with Yoshino. It's true anyway.
By the time the event started things got settled down. We opened the Rose Mansion to the whole student body and held a tea party while the hunt is ongoing. The students enjoyed themselves. We got to interact with them as well.
"Sachiko, someone's here for you," Sei-sama said. When I looked up I saw Yuki entering the room. I stood careful not to seem that I'm rushing to get to him.
"Good day Sachiko-sama."
"Good day Yuki." I led him to a vacant sit and gave him tea.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. How was the flight?"
"I'm not actually good with planes but I'm still alive," Yuki said. He sounded tired.
"That's good. You okay? Maybe you should go back to the dormitory now and rest." Then I did it again. I cupped his cheeks and he leaned on my hand. He closed his eyes for a second and breathe deeply.
"I think I'm good Sachiko-sama," Yuki smiled.
"If you say so,"
"Everyone, it's almost time," Minako, the editor-in-chief of the newspaper club said. Everyone started going outside.
"Yuki, you can stay here. Rest a little. I'll be back in a minute." He nod and I left him.
At the end no one found my card. Rei's card was found by a first year, Chisato. To think that Yoshino wasn't please was an understatement. Shimako's card was found by a third year, Shizuka Kanina, which is surprisingly a girl. I wonder why she sought Shimako's card instead of Rei's?
"Now Rosa Chinesis en bouton, where did you hide your card?" Minako asked.
"It's under the Chinesis roses in the greenhouse." I said and smiled.
"Now, let's go get the card everyone."
Once we entered the greenhouse. I knew something was different. "It seems different."
"What is Sachiko-sama?"
"The rose is placed differently when I last left it this morning." Minako examined the ground.
"I cannot tell but it surely was dug earlier today. The ground is softer. Should we get the card?"
"Yes, certainly." I got the feeling that I wasn't going to find my card there anymore and I didn't.
"Well, this is a surprise. The red rose's card was found and no one surrendered it to us," Minako mumbled. "Well everyone! This is the end of the HUNT! Let's return to the Rose Mansion and we'll give you some chocolates for participating!"
Once everyone dispersed the Yamayurikai went in the Rose Mansion. It was getting dark. We found Yuki sleeping soundly.
"Wake up your prince Cinderella," Seir-sama whispered.
"Yuki wake up. Yuki," I nudged him slightly.
"Hmm?"
"Let's go back to the dorms now."
"Okay," When he stood up something feel from his pocket. I picked it up and I'm pretty sure what it was. "Um-I can explain! I-"he looked nervous. I just stared at him.
"Well look at that. The mystery is solved!" Sei-sama laughed and the others follows.
"I didn't mean it!"
"Really?"
"Yes! I just happen to pass by there first and went in. It was just for fun! A guess, but it was there. I didn't want anyone to find it so I took it but I didn't want to go on a date with you either." Didn't want to go on a date with you either. Those words were ringing on my ears.
"You don't?" asked Yoshino in wonder.
I cannot allow myself to fall for someone.
"Of course you don't," I said and left ahead of them. Reality crashed down on me. I was living in my own bubble. I didn't want them to see me cry over some stupid boy. I didn't know what got in to me. I just felt like crying. I locked myself up. I didn't let oneesama in. I didn't want to talk to anyone.
Why did I even hope? I knew he would never want to get involve with me in a romantic way. I knew that. But I fell for him anyway. It's all my fault for letting myself fall for him. And it hurts. You knew you'd get hurt Sachiko. It's true after all. People do stupid things when they fall for someone. I never even got to give him the chocolates. What's the use anyway Sachiko? He'll never love you back the way you do. A chocolate won't make him love you back. I'm just glad that there's no class tomorrow.
