My Scully, my beautiful Scully. My love. There have never been more precious moments in my life than those I'm allowed to spend with you. I didn't exist before you entered my life. I didn't breathe, I didn't smile, I didn't live. I depended on your presence, on your will to challenge me, on that single mind of yours from the first day we met. You fill me, you make me complete, you make me whole.

Indulging in silent moments like these, I feel that I am alive after all. I live to be with you. I live to see you happy, I live to see you giving life to our children.

I love to caress your round little belly. I love to whisper soft messages to our baby coming to existence. I love to feel a smile growing on your welcoming lips at this.

How I love to see you smile. I always did. It was a rare gift you used to present on special occasions. And you have such a beautiful smile. It delivers your soul in your eyes, it warms every cold room and invites the saddest moment to be filled with sunshine. It is heart-opening, it is soothing, it is full of joy, full of love, full of your pure self. It is so you. So mine.

You don't allow just anybody to see the real you. That radiant, embracing side of you. So different from your cool, controlled exterior. The image you created of yourself to be able to survive in a man's world. The image you are so fond of. The image you grew to love. The image of an ice queen. How farther away an image could you have chosen to create from your true self?

I wrap my hands around your slowly growing belly and caress your silky skin with my thumbs. I love the feeling of your head nuzzling closer to my chest. Sometimes it feels as if you try to hide away in me. I wish you could.

Sometimes, I wonder what I did to deserve your love. To deserve your trust, your faith, your comfort. I wouldn't know what to do without you. I love to wake up with you. To see the sun tickling your nose and setting your hair on fire. I love to feel your arms, searching my own while you're still asleep. I love to hear your soft sighs when I brush strands of your messy hair from your face to be able to observe your first smile of the day. I love your low voice in the mornings, your hoarse whispers of "Good morning". I love your easiness around me, your moans at my touch, your soothing hands, your needy kisses, your caring looks. I love the concern in your voice when I screw up. I love the darting eye-brow when you doubt my motives. I adore your grumpy sarcasm when you are woken by an uninvited phone call too early in the morning. And I die for your scientific cynicism when you prove me wrong.

You know that, of course. But I would never speak it. And nor would you. We know each other beyond words. It seems that we always have. It is such a reassuring silence we can share. A look, a cough, a chuckle is enough to make your point. You control me like that. You hold me at bay with it sometimes. You enjoy that. And I do, too. Mostly however, ignoring the times when I was right and you were wrong.

I enjoy when you say everything with your eyes. Those piercing mirrors of your endless soul. Those witty, challenging, sparkling eyes of yours. They have so much power. They are so intense, so vivid, so adorable.

I know that they are keeping a secret from me lately. I know that you keep our baby's sex from me. I know that it is your pleasure to tease me with little hints, with little games that leave me uninformed. But I saw it in your eyes when you looked at the ultrasound monitor last week. You've never been able to hide your emotions from me. But you are able to wake my nosiness and to leave me in the dark about the sweetest of your secrets. You don't utter a word of truth about our child. Don't let me tickle, humor or love it out of you.

Lying here with you like that, feeling your need to be held, feeling the energy slowly coming back to you, feels divine. I have never been able to hide my arousal from you. But neither have you. It is the way you blush on your neck, the way you let go, the way you circle your head. It is the way you let yourself fall into my treatment. The way you only act around me, letting down your guard, lying here with me. Vulnerable, naked, exposed. You would let me do anything to you right now. And there is nothing beyond the feeling of being fully trusted, fully loved, fully invited.

I fondle your belly again and I feel it for the first time. A kick. A reaction, a movement. And you instantly move your hands into mine, beaming. It is such a confident reaction, such a warm emotion you share with me. It is the special moment you have been telling me about. The one I missed with William. The one I try to burn into my mind. It is unique, it is unbelievable, it is miraculous.

I place tender kisses onto your neck and ears, my hands never leaving your wonderful belly. I see how you close your eyes again at my treatment and you turn your head to kiss me passionately.

I cease every precious moment with you, my love. I cease every second of this miracle you let me share with you. I cease every sparkle of you.

Fin