I don't own any of the characters…

Italics are thoughts

Chapter 3

Angela is in a taxi going to her old house. She is staring out the window with her thoughts elsewhere.

God why am I doing this? How can a go back after writing such a personal book about my feelings on high school? Why do I have this like need to like write down every single thought and feeling that comes to mind? It only gets me in trouble…Like the time I wrote that long letter to Jordan and he found it…THAT WAS SO HUMILATING!!! Why did I write that book? What if he's here and he read the book…it's going to be just like high school all over again…I'm like a child that never learns the lesson the first time!! WAIT…what am I obsessing about? Jordan would never come to a lame high school reunion and he would especially never read a book for like pleasure. BUT…what is he's changed. Can people really every truly change? Have I truly changed or…

The taxi driver's raspy voice pushes Angela back to reality.

"Miss, we're here!!!"

Angela looks at the driver some what frightened. She doesn't want to leave the cab to the life she left behind.

"OH!!!! Already….that was fast…"

The driver awkwardly answers Angela.

"So……it's $10.85…."

" Right… keep the change…."

Angela is standing in front of her childhood home. The place that was her safe house as a child now seems like a haunted house from a scary movie. A dark foreign place haunted with memories of her past life.

My house. It doesn't even look like my house. It's been nine years since I last stood on these steps. It's not that I didn't want to come back. It just…you know that saying, "Home is where the heart is," while I felt like my home lost its heart. It was just too hard. When did something as simple as coming home become so complicated? It had to have been when my parents got divorced. I had just left home when I got the news. It just became like this competition for them when I came home. They measured who I loved more by with whom I spent more time with. It was just too hard. I always felt guilty. I wondered if I would have stayed home and went to school at Penn State like they wanted…maybe they would still be together…or maybe they would just be miserable…

The door opens suddenly opens to reveal Patty hurrying out of the house.

"Angela!!!! I though you were coming at eight!!!!"

"Yah!! Eight in the morning!!!"

Patty places her brief case on the floor and hugs her eldest daughter.

"I'm so happy that you're home!!! It's about time, I hate having to fly to New York to see you!!"

Her mother's words ring in Angela's mind.

Home, this isn't home, not anymore.

"Were you leaving?????"

"Oh Sweetie. I'm so sorry. I thought you weren't coming until later; I have meetings scheduled all day…."

Angela watches her mother explain herself, but can't seem to focus on her words only on her demeanors.

She always has meetings scheduled all day. That's all she ever does now: work. I guess it's the only thing she has left. Now that Dad, Danielle, and I are gone…It's kinda depressing…no its not kinda depressing…it IS depressing.

"ANGELA, are you listening to me??? I swear you never pay attention to me!!!!"

"MOM!!! I'm listening. You have meetings…."

"Yes, I have meetings. So, I'm not going to be able to entertain you until I get back."

Angela snorts at her mother's comments.

"Entertain me, Mom!!! You're not a magician and I'm not a child. I can "entertain" myself."

A once feisty Patty does not want to fight with her daughter and decides to just give up.

"Fine. You're right and I'm late!!! I'll see you tonight."

Angela notices that her mother has lost the will to fight that she once proudly possessed.

She looks so SAD…I have to be the worst daughter in the world!!!!

"MOM!!!! I love you!!!"

Patty's face lights up with those three words that she hadn't heard from anyone in a really long time.

"I love you too!!"

Angela goes into her old room. Everything is the same, but somehow everything is different. She can't put her finger on what is different. She sees a picture of her and Jordan at the Senior Prom. Memories of that night flood her mind.

FLASHBACK

Angela is wearing a simple, but elegant plaid gown –just kidding-- it's a black gown. Her red hair is up with curls. She looks gorgeous and confident. Jordan is wearing a tux without a tie. He looks messy like always, but it works. Needless to say he looks amazing. As Angela glides down the stairs, her eyes are only on Jordan and his eyes are only on her. They both share a lustful smile.

"Hi!!"

"Hey!! You look beautiful!!!"

Angela's whole body tingles with the complement from Jordan Catalano.

It doesn't matter if the rest of the night is terrible. This moment will make it all worth it…

Angela tucks her hair behind her ear.

"Thanks!!! So do you….you know what I mean!!"

Jordan wraps his arm around Angela's waist and looks at her like there's no one else in the room.

"You ready to go????"

"Definitely!!!!"

At the prom, they are in their own world. They are slow dancing; even through the song playing isn't meant for slow dancing. Angela is thinking with her eyes closed and a sweet smile on her face.

I can not believe that I am at my senior prom with Jordan Catalano. If someone would have told me sophomore year that me and Jordan Catalano would be together for almost three years, I would have laughed in their face. And if they would have said that we still wouldn't have had sex…I would have died from laughter. It is so surreal that Jordan hasn't pressured me to have sex since the first time we broke up. I guess he learned his lesson. I guess he really cares about me. He has changed so much over the years: he actually goes to class, does his homework, remembers special days, makes plans, asks me how I am feeling, but most importantly he really talks to me!!! I know what love is and his name is Jordan Catalano!!! And tonight I will know what sex is…

A small and knowing laugh subconsciously comes from Angela.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh…did I laugh out loud? I was just thinking of something that's kinda funny."

"Ok. Do you mind telling the class what's so funny, Miss. Chase?"

"I was just thinking how much I want to have sex with you tonight!!!"

I can't believe I just said that!!! Too late to take it back, just go with it!!!

Jordan is in complete shock and excitement. He stops dancing.

"Really???? Because I don't want to you know pressure you, like last time. I want you to really want to, not just because I really want to."

"Jordan, I definitely want to. Tonight!!!!"

Both of them give an excited anxious smile.

After the Prom. They drive to Jordan's house. It's quite and empty like always. His dad works nights. Jordan leads her to his room. They start to kiss passionately. As Jordan unzips her dress, he kisses her neck softly and whispers into her ear, "I Love You, Angela Chase." With those five words, all the concerns Angela had disappeared. She places her hands on his belt and begins to unbuckle is pants.

Angela is lying in Jordan's arms, her face radiating with afterglow. An unmovable smile is on her face as she tries to remember everything about the night. She wants to remember the way the widow is partly open, the way the cool wind feels on her sticky body, the way the paint on the ceiling is chipping creating an image of a bear and a lion playing, but most importantly she wants to memorize the feeling of warmth from Jordan's naked body on hers as he quietly sleeps. Everything about that moment is magical: the way his hair looks over his face, his sweet smell of sweat, soap, and nicotine, the way his right arm is angled slightly.

I feel so…I can't even describe how I feel. For the first time in my life, I can not describe how I feel…I guess love has that power. It's like I need to remind myself to breath. The best moment had to have been when Jordan was on top of me and just stopped kissing me and looked me right in the eyes. I never would have thought Jordan could ever love me as much as I love him, I never thought anyone could ever love anyone as much as I love him, but that moment, that look he had in his eyes showed me that he loved me as much as I love him…and maybe, just maybe, he loved me more than I loved him…JUST MAYBE….

Angela had the best night's sleep she had ever had that night. Her dreams were filled with Jordan's eyes.

End Flashback

Angela places the picture back as she takes a deep breath. She tries to place memories of Jordan as far away as possible, especially, moments that were so perfect that make her want to fall in love with the memory of what used to be.

This is going to be a long week!!! I need a drink…But at eight in the morning…a double espresso will have to do…

The image of his eyes runs back into her mind…

maybe a triple espresso…and a muffin…