A/N: Forgot to tell you in the first chapter that each chapter takes place 3 months after the previous one (this takes place 3 months after Jack trying to off himself and the next one will take place 3 months after this one, etc. )

Obligatory Disclaimer: Four Brother-not mine. Lyrics to Apologize and Timbaland-not mine.

On with the show…

Aperture, Chapter 2


I'm holding on your rope

Got me ten feet off the ground

And I'm hearing what you say,

But I just can't make a sound

And you sit on your bed and watch as he walks by in his baggy jeans and his boots and his god damned slicked back hair and he shuts the bathroom door like he's the only fucking person who lives in this house, though he might as well be because everybody else is asleep, but you know this routine all too well and you'll be damned if you're going to sleep through it again and

You up Jackie?

And you must have made some semblance of a noise because a blinding flash of light assaults your vision and you balk away from the white lightening pain only to receive the same treatment from the wall behind the bed.

Careful there Jackie…

And you hear him snicker and you can feel the smirk on his face even if you can't see it as his boots pound their way across the threshold of your sanctuary and draw nearer to where you lay, each step compounding upon your throbbing skull.

you're going to hurt yourself.

And how ironic it is that he would say that tonight because that's precisely what he means to do and you don't even know why he's here right now but you do know that you don't want him here and as his strong calloused hands grasp your shoulders to pull you upright and you brace your hands against the taunt muscles hidden behind the cotton turtleneck and you push him away with everything you've got and you're surprised at how far he has to back-peddle to regain his balance but you're not surprised at the astonished, hurt look on his face and to be completely honest you can't say you're not happy to see it because why should you be the only one hurting tonight.

The fuck was that for Jack?!

And his voice is angry but you can hear that hint of pain there too and for a moment you're satisfied but you can't look at him because the tears are threatening to fall and you can't answer him because the lump in your throat will strangle you if you try so you stay silent and stare at the glowing neon of the alarm clock by your bed and hope he'll go away, 4:32.

Jack!

And you know he's only going to get angrier until he gets an answer but you don't have an answer and why does the bastard deserve one anyway so you stay frozen where you are and manage a slight swivel of you're head.

No?

And now he's getting louder and you both know that raised voices freak you out but that doesn't seem to be bothering him right now so why should you give a shit.

You think you can just pull shit like that and not explain it? I don't think so, not in this house!

And he's coming back at you again and you know if he touches you that you'll start crying and you wont be able to stop so you draw your legs up and cover your face with quaking hands as the prickling of tears starts behind your eyes and still he keeps coming and your thin arms are no match against his as he pulls your arms roughly away and you're forced to look past the distorting tears and into his blazing eyes and it seems to last forever as you stare each other down.

Jackie…

And his voice isn't angry anymore and his eyes have softened but you know it doesn't change anything and he's still going to hurt you and you feel like such a wimp as you sit there with eyes shining and chin quivering and you don't want him to see you like this, not right now, and you manage to find your voice.

Just. Fucking. Leave.

You tell me that you need me

Then you go and cut me down

You tell me that you're sorry,

Didn't think I'd turn around

And you don't really want him to leave but his presence hurts and you don't know how to deal with it other than to run and you know there's no way you'll make it through the door while he's here.

You know I have to.

And you think you heard his voice waver on that one but more than likely it's your imagination because there's nothing that's making him go and you tell him as much.

Bullshit. You could stay but you choose not to so don't try and feed me that crap.

And you can barely get out that last word because it feels like there's a boulder blocking your airway and you can hardly breathe and your head is swimming so you bury it in your arms and let the silent tears fall, safe from scrutinizing eyes.

Jackie, you had to know this was coming, it always…

And you just want him to shut the hell up because nothing he's going to say is going to cut it for you so he might as well save his breath.

Yeah, well maybe I thought this time was different!

And you're not quite sure why you're screaming but you know it feels good and you raise your head because you want to see him and you want him to see how bad this hurts you because maybe that'll hurt him and by the look on his face you think you've succeeded.

Why? Why would this time be different?

And his voice is small and now his eyes are shining too and you want to hit rewind because you've changed your mind about wanting to hurt him and you want to calm down but you can't and you feel like whispering but continue to scream.

Because you said you needed me! Did you fucking forget about that night? We were right here and you said you fucking needed me!

And you can't hold it in any longer as the wave of hurt and fear washes over you like a typhoon and your body is racked by the sobs you emit and your heart is aching because you were wrong about that night and he doesn't need you and once again your going to be alone and disposable.

Jackie I do, I do need you I swear, but right now I have to do this, for me.

And he's on your bed now and his strong arms are holding you steady and for a second you feel safe and okay but then the arms are gone from around you and they're on the sides of your face and then his lips are pressed against your forehead for the briefest second before he pulls away and whispers softly.

I'm sorry.

And then contact is broken completely and you feel cold inside as you watch his back retreating from your room and you can't just let him leave because you need him so damned bad that if he leaves you know you'll die, maybe not right away but you will, you're sure of it so you need to stop him, you need to.

Bobby wait!

I'd take another chance,

Take a fall,

Take a shot for you

And the sound carries from your lungs and bounces around your room and out the door and you see the light from Jerry's room flick on but you don't care and you just need that sound to reach Bobby, to stop him from walking out that door and you hear his heavy boots stop moving on the stairs for just a second and that's enough for you and you're off your bed and across the room and into the hallway to see his back facing towards you but at least he's standing still and that has to count for something.

I can't stay Jack, I'm sorry, I just can't. When you're older you will understand.

And he's moving again and you know he's not going to stop this time and you don't even think about chasing him because it wont matter and you feel dizzy and the room is spinning and you can't see straight and then there's arms wrapped around you and for a second you think it's Bobby, that he's come back for you but it's not Bobby it's Jerry and you fight against him but you're too weak and he's holding you as you both sink to the floor and he's shouting at someone and you see Angel's form sweep past the both of you and down the stairs after Bobby and you hear shouting and Jerry's rocking you and speaking softly and you know he's trying to calm you down but you can't make out the words and it wouldn't matter if you could because you can't calm down because Bobby is leaving and without him you are nothing.

I'm sorry like an angel

Heaven let me think you was

But I'm afraid…

It's too late to apologize, it's too late.


I'm not as fond of this chapter as I was the first one.

Let me know what you think, I have the rest of the story planned out, now I just have to write it. I have an outline and it looks like it's going to be six chapters in all.

See that little button in the bottom right hand corner? Pushing it and hitting keys makes me a happy writer ;)

Thanks for reading,

Racquet.