A/N: Written just for fun - Snow's point of view from Chapter 1. Because... why not? I believe Eva who requested this, so thanks Eva! Please enjoy!
It starts with muffled voices followed by the slamming of the door. And then, for a bit, silence.
There's no insulation in Granny's walls, and every sound from the hallway travels. So at first, Snow thinks Regina took Robin into the bathroom to have a quiet chat. They do need a good talk, after all.
Regina is being absurd with this refusal to be happy thing. They just need to talk it out, to admit that they are still crazy about one another, that they somehow act more like a married couple while broken up than most do after several years with one another.
Bonus, maybe Regina won't be so grumpy and will be more amenable to this school board budget.
But then there's another slam, and the far wall appears to vibrate with the action. Hushed, darkened tones seep through the walls, worrying her. They are not just talking. They are fighting, she thinks. Regina and Robin, those stubborn, stupid soulmates.
Regina has come so far in concealing her rage, battling her instincts to jump to violence to solve her problems, but… well, she never handled losing loved ones easily, and if Robin truly is with Belle (Snow doubts that, their conversation looked perfectly innocent and friendly to her, despite how Regina seems to have interpreted it) who knows how Regina may react.
It's lunch hour on a weekend so Granny's is nearly a full house - and thank god for that, Snow thinks. The steady buzz of dozens of different conversations are dulling the sounds coming from behind the walls.
There is no need to calm any fears townspeople may have about the Evil Queen returning to her old ways. Not until they hear her thunderous, angry voice making idle threats, that is.
Snow puts down her tea and stands up, determined to interrupt this fight before it reaches that level.
But then she hears what is definitely not an angered voice, no, it's a moan, and god damn it, she definitely did not sign up for this. They were supposed to have a quiet lunch and catch up on the state of the schools. She was not supposed to be seconds away from walking in on her step-mother having a quickie in the bathroom of a diner.
She sits back down, cheeks flushed, wondering if anyone else heard it.
Nearly everyone else is too wrapped up in their own conversations to care, but Belle, Belle is sitting at her booth, looking a bit too interested in a menu she definitely has memorized. A flush is on her cheeks that certainly isn't related to the temperature of the room...no, Belle knows something.
Oh, God!
Snow cringes at that, closes her eyes and wishes she had the magic to poof herself away from this moment. But when she opens her eyes, her wish has not been granted. She makes contact with Belle, who has given up any pretense of naivety regarding the situation, and is throwing her a knowing look, hand over her mouth barely concealing her giggles.
There's another slam now, that one so loud everything on that far wall shakes. Customers look around to find the source of the sound, puzzled.
Conversations quickly die down and the dining room grows quiet, while people glance up at the shaking wall, their expressions turning from confused to knowing. Some look offended, many seem all too amused with the situation, and some seem very, very uncomfortable with the sounds the former evil queen is making.
Especially the men.
Snow is going to kill Regina. If she doesn't die of embarrassment she is going to kill her.
There's more arguing, except she knows it's not arguing, it's foreplay, and she can't make out the words, but it's "something-something-something, thief" and did Snow and the rest of the town really need to know their pet names for one another?
There's a steady thumping against the wall now, and conversations at the tables of Grannys' have all but stopped, except for the half-stifled giggles of the customers and whispered words of offense.
Each moan, each muffled sound of dirty words exchanged, twist into Snow's mind, and Jesus, she's going to have to schedule a nice round of therapy with Archie after this, because hearing the woman who was once married to her father make sexy, deep, throaty sounds like this is a little too much.
Ruby pays no mind to the sound, surprisingly. She just continues to wait tables as if she doesn't hear the slamming and the moaning that grows ever louder.
But Granny is a different story. She's been in the kitchen, cooking, the noises of the griddle and the stove muffling the sounds of passionate lovemaking that now fill the dining area. But when she steps back from the kitchen to deliver the new order, she notices the tell tale, rhythmic quakes of the wall.
"God damn it," Granny groans, throwing down a dishrag, "do you people have no decency?"
"Granny, granny!" Snow jumps up to block her from the path of the bathroom, holding a hand up in protest, and then leans into whisper, "You should know the people in there? It's Regina. And Robin."
Granny scowls, disappointed it seems, then huffs out a breath of air. "Oh."
"I think they….they might need this?"
Granny grimaces and shrugs. Though she appears to agree with Snow.
"They can get a pass for this time. Provided Queenie stops sulking around and lets that poor man love her." Granny mutters. She walks back towards the kitchen, resigned to let this happen, but not before adding, "But I'm hiring someone to clean that bathroom, and she's paying."
