3RD ANNUAL FANNIE AWARDS: ON THE RED CARPET

3rd Annual Fannie Awards: On The Red Carpet

by Gray Cardinal

Author's Notes: My profuse thanks go to all of the Fannie finalists, presenters, and other Kimmunity denizens mentioned in these Red Carpet sequences. In nearly all cases, character descriptions and responses to interview questions were supplied by the individuals to whom they're attached. A certain amount of editing was done in the interests of maintaining narrative flow, but these segments could not have been prepared without the extensive material submitted for inclusion.

All characters appearing in the televised Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. All characters based on members of the Kim Possible fan community are owned by their real-world counterparts. All original characters are owned by their creators. That leaves – well, you'll see for yourselves in a moment, and those characters are owned by various other corporate entities we won't mention yet in order to preserve the illusion of surprise.

Prologue

As sunset approached, a series of final tech commands crackled over headsets throughout the Middleton Convention Center:

"Sound levels, stations one through eight, check."

"Cameras one through five, check."

"Security tie-in systems, check."

"Extra-virtual bandwidth access, check."

There was a moment's pause as the unseen director assimilated the reports and glanced over the various multimedia feeds. Then: "We are go, repeat go, for pan-dimensional broadcast uplink."

The response was nearly instant. "Pan-dimensional uplink engaged and confirmed."

"Got it. Red carpet, are you ready?"

Two voices responded as one. "Ready when you are."

"Studio, ready?"

A single voice, this time: "Ready."

"All stations confirm ready. Let's do this, people – we are live in five, four, three, two, one, mark! Studio, go!"

ENN Anchor Desk

"Hi, ho, Kermit the Frog here, and welcome, one and all, to tonight's coverage of the Third Annual Fannie Awards! We're coming to you live on the ExtraVirtual News Network, starting as usual with exclusive interviews from the red carpet. And you know what that means..." he paused, glanced down at the script again, and frowned. "You're sure you want me to say this?"

Offscreen, the director nodded firmly. Kermit cast his froggy eyes heavenward for a moment, then continued. "And you know what that means, ladies and gentlemen – this is Fannie Watch!"

He paused again before remembering that for once, Statler and Waldorf weren't around to heckle. "All right, then, let's go right to the red carpet, where I understand the first of our guests are beginning to arrive. Chloe, is that right?" he asked.

Red Carpet, Middleton Convention Center

"It certainly is," said the vivacious golden-haired young woman. "I'm Chloe Sullivan, live outside the Middleton Convention Center where the first limousine has just pulled up to the red carpet – and it's a big one, folks. With me is Jimmy Olsen, also on loan from the Metropolis Daily Planet, so let's see if we can get a word with some of these first arrivals."

"Right," Jimmy said, trying not to look dazed by the ultra-bright TV lighting. "First we have Twila Starla and Darth Comrade."

"Glad you could make it," said Chloe, casting an impressed eye at Twila's knee-length aqua dress, shot through with sparkling silver threadwork and accented with a periwinkle shawl draped across her shoulders. "Twila, you look fabulous."

Twila smiled her thanks, and Chloe continued. "Now, then, you've been nominated for several awards. How does it feel?"

"Simply amazing!" the young woman replied. "Words can't really describe how wonderful it feels to be recognized in such a prestigious award ceremony. I've spent three years in this fandom now, and been involved in the Fannies some way every year so far, but to actually have a chance to win something . . . all I can say is thank you, thank you to everyone who read and voted!"

Chloe turned to her companion. "And you've been quite a supporter of Twila's during the voting period. How hopeful are you that she'll walk away with an award tonight?"

Darth Comrade grinned. "Very! She's worked really hard all year to make it this far, and I'm backing her up all the way. After all, she's been a favorite supporter of my writing from the start. And despite the tuxedo she had me put on, I couldn't be happier than to accompany her tonight – I know she'll rock the ceremony with her participation!"

"Thanks to both you for speaking with us, and good luck," Chloe said. "Jimmy, who's next?"

"That would be CaptainKodak and – Widowshark?" The Captain's companion smiled toothily, and Jimmy gulped.

Chloe didn't miss a beat. "Captain, you're always a favorite to win when it comes to the Fannie Awards, and Tunnel Vision was a huge success. With all the nominations, how many awards do you think you might walk away with tonight?"

"Well, Chloe, I really don't know. I don't recall how many nominations I had the first two years, but this year I have at least eight, and that's more than I've ever had before. I would hope for one or two, but I'm leaving it up to the voters."

"To what do you attribute your popularity?"

"I have been lucky to have the support of a lot of fans, so who knows what will happen. The FanFiction Awards are always a great place to be and I think it will be a great evening. Plus, and I do mean plus, I'm looking forward to being here tonight with my friend Widowshark. She has been a tremendous support to me over the past year and she is a lot of fun to be with. Shego was nice, but I still have a few scars from what happened last time."

"I'll take your word for it," Chloe said, turning to the Captain's companion. "Tell me – since the two of you are here together, any chance of a story team-up with you both?"

Widowshark returned Chloe's smile with interest. "It's possible. But that's up to the Captain."

"We'll look forward to the possibility, then, and thank you."

The next pair of guests tried to bypass the lighted interview station, but Jimmy was too quick for them, shepherding them neatly into position.

"Blackbird, isn't it?" Chloe said. "Sources tell me you have doubts about winning with your single nomination. Yet you won last year despite expressing those same doubts. How do you rate your odds this year?"

"I honestly don't know. I'm trying to remain a little hopeful, but my ever-pessimistic nature still thinks I'm not gonna win, and my crushing defeat in the first round really doesn't help. But I guess we'll find out here in a bit – and no matter who wins, I know it'll be the best choice."

Jimmy Olsen put in a question of his own. "Longbow," he said to Blackbird's date, "we've heard major rumors about romance on your team, including some juicy gossip about you and Spyder. Anything you care to share?"

"No comment," came the curt reply. Longbow's eyes narrowed behind her mask, and she yanked Blackbird's arm, pulling him forward along the red carpet. "Now I remember why I got out of the glitz and glamour thing."

Jimmy and Chloe exchanged glances, shrugged, and turned toward the next arrival – a slim, girlish figure in a green and black catsuit. Crimson eyes glowed in her – if it was a "her" – blue-skinned face. Jimmy blinked at the teleprompter. "Wrong color scheme here – aren't you supposed to be the King in Yellow?"

"I. am. Bego. Possible."

"I . . . see," Chloe said, though she clearly didn't. "I take it the King is not in the building?"

"KiY. has. been. busy. with. class. prep. for. American. Government, Comparative. Religion, and. Western. Civilization. He. is. also. doing. a. lecture. series. on. the. history. of. Christian. theology, has. two. family. members. who. have. been. ill, and. is. taking. his. healthy. daughter. to. Chicago. for. a. bat. mitzvah. this. weekend."

"I see," Chloe repeated. "So he sends his regrets?"

"No. he. sent. me."

"No regrets, then," Jimmy said.

"He. only. regrets. he. has. but. one. life. to. give. for. his. country."

Jimmy blinked. "He said that?"

"No. Mr. Barkin. said. that. Nathan. Hale. said. that, but. KiY. says. he. really. did. not. and. it. was. invented. as. patriotic. propaganda."

Chloe eyed both Jimmy and Bego sternly. "Cute, but we're getting sidetracked. Now, Bego – the Kigo vote plunged sharply this year, but despite that, the King was nominated in six different categories, including Best Writer. It's said that he was the Kigo writer to benefit most from the K/R vote--"

"Pardon. me. Did. you. say. 'it's. said.' or. 'it's. sad'?"

"Said. It's said that he was the Kigo writer to benefit most from the K/R vote. To what would you attribute this?"

"He. will. believe. that. when. he. wins. something," Bego said. "I. suspect. he. has. such. a. swelled. head. he. will. claim. that. his. stories. resonate. with. readers. because. they. address. archetypal. situations. reflective. of. the. human. condition."

It was Chloe's turn to blink. "You sound like you don't believe that."

"I. will. also. believe. it. if. he. wins. something. But. if. he. does. it. will. be. because. his. action. scenes. are. so. dull. that. he. makes. everyone. else. feel. good. in comparison."

As Bego moved on toward the convention center's entrance, Chloe shook her head as if to clear it. "And I thought working with a frog was going to be odd. Moving right along, then . . ."

She trailed off as an enormous shadow fell across the red carpet, and the handful of passengers remaining from the first limousine scattered out of its path. "What in Hades is – ?" Chloe caught sight of the camera's red on-air light and took a quick breath. "We take you now to Kermit the Frog at the ENN anchor desk. Kermit, what can you tell us about . . . whatever that is?"

ENN Anchor Desk

"It's – very big. And round," Kermit said, as Camera Four panned upward, revealing a gray aircraft at least twenty feet in diameter descending silently from the late-afternoon sky. "And – ah, we're getting an audio feed now."

"Spherical, actually," said a melodious female voice as the craft landed. "My name is Sappho – technically, S.A.F.O., for Self-Automated Flying Orbiter. And if I may say so, Kermit, you are a very attractive shade of green. Quite similar to the one Shego favors, I believe."

Kermit gulped. "That's – very flattering. But what are you doing here?"

"Attending the Fannie Awards, of course. Also, delivering two other distinguished guests." Onscreen, Sappho's entrance hatch opened, and two figures stepped to the sidewalk, then made their way up the red carpet.

"Thank you very much, Sappho," Kermit said quickly. "Chloe, our new arrivals should be with you momentarily."

Red Carpet, Middleton Convention Center

Chloe eyed the duo critically as they approached the interview station. "Jimmy, would you introduce our latest guests?"

Her companion riffled hurriedly through his notecards. "Hmm – oh, here. Let's welcome the noted and very beautiful roboticist, Dr. Vivian Porter," Jimmy paused, allowing the cameras to linger on Dr. Porter's figure-hugging, barely knee-length strapless red dress, "and Allaine, author of the Unacceptable Sitch series."

"Thank you, Jimmy," Chloe said. "Allaine, you announced some time ago that Under the
Milky Way Tonight
would be your final Kim Possible story. Are you retiring from writing entirely - and if not, where should your readers look for your future work?"

"I have no plans to retire from writing – I enjoy it more than most other activities, including my career," came the reply. "Currently I'm writing entertainment news articles for Firefox News (/news/), and I'm attempting to find a new job later this year that would allow me to write as part of my duties."

"But what about fiction?" Chloe pressed.

Allaine smiled. "My dream is to write a novel one day, but that's far off in the future at this point. And though I'm finished working on the Unacceptable Sitch stories, you might one day see more KP fanfic from me."

"We'll look forward to the prospect," said Chloe. "Thank you both."

As the next limousine pulled around the SAFO, the director's voice sounded in Chloe's ear. "You have at least ninety seconds before the next group gets to you – time to introduce your color crew."

Chloe checked the status lights to confirm she was off-air before replying. "Are you sure? Those two have all the personality of wet noodles – without the wet."

"Yes, well, we couldn't afford Mr. Blackwell," the director retorted. "It was either them or Miss Piggy and Gonzo the Great."

"Good choice," Chloe said promptly as her on-air indicator blinked to life. "While we're waiting for the next arrivals, let's meet the last two members of our broadcast team, who will be providing us with their expert insights on the design trends being set – and defied – by the guests at tonight's Fannie Awards. On special assignment in the ENN Skybox, our style consultants this evening are Officers Twill and Tweed, representing the Fashion Police!"

"Thank you, Miss Sullivan," said Twill, saluting into Camera Three. "So far, the ladies have clearly upstaged their escorts. I can only assume that Allaine chose that . . . dramatic mode of arrival to draw attention away from his dreary rental tuxedo."

"At least he remembered to shave," Tweed put in.

"But not to clean his glasses."

"We'll get back to Twill and Tweed a little later," Chloe cut in smoothly, as four – no, five – new arrivals approached the interviewing stand. The tallest, a slim dark-haired figure, wore a simple grey tuxedo with a red cummerbund and neatly knotted bow tie, though instead of tails or a traditional jacket, he'd chosen a lightweight trench coat tailored in tuxedo style. Next to him was a young Asian girl – twelve at most – with rainbow-streaked black hair and a modest jade-green dress; matching jade hoops dangled from her ears and encircled her wrists.

"Slyrr, isn't it?" said Jimmy, snapping a picture.

"And Jade," said Slyrr's companion.

"Team Probable, at your service!" Grimm Probable stepped from behind the taller man – Kim Possible's mirror image, spiked red hair set off by a crisp black tux. Unlike Slyrr, he'd skipped the cummerbund and wore a plain black silk tie. Beside him was Rhonda Fatigable, whose sleeveless dress and spike-heeled shoes were the precise black of Grimm's tux. A pair of eagle feathers were tied into her blonde hair just behind her left ear, and a sinuous brown weasel sat on her shoulder, a tiny collar and bow tie around its neck.

Chloe smiled nervously at the mercenary trio and their creator. "You have multiple finalist entries in three different categories tonight – Villain, Original Character, and Original Character Name," she said to Slyrr. "Are you worried about the potential for splitting your votes?"

Slyrr bit his lip for a moment before answering. "I guess I am. I mean, it's bad enough going up against such stiff competition. But when you have a number of your own characters as choices in the same category it reduces your overall chances against a strong contender. Then again, it does increase the overall spread – I guess in that way it's sort of like having multiple chips on the roulette table. One of 'em's got to win, right?" He chuckled as he finished, but there was a nervous tone in his voice, and the Fannie Awards program in his hands had been twisted into a tightly rolled tube.

Meanwhile, Jimmy Olsen was talking to Grimm. "'Best Villain' seems like an odd category – do you think the voters will go for the 'most evil' candidate, the most outrageous plot, the snappiest dialogue, or something else entirely?"

Grimm favored the cameras with a roguish smile. "They'll vote for the most villainous, of course," he said. "But if 'best' is measured by results, I don't think we have anything to worry about. See you inside," he added, as Slyrr waved the team onward down the red carpet. Both Chloe and Jimmy eyed the group thoughtfully for a moment . . . .

ENN Anchor Desk

"And on that note," said Kermit the Frog, "let's pause for a message from our sponsors -- wait, do we even have any sponsors for this – whatever this is?"

A voice spoke from out of thin air. "No, but we're barely a third of the way into the pre-show, and we need to give the readers a chance to go grab a soda."

"Good point," Kermit said, then wrinkled his nose and peered upward. "Hold on. Since when do TV broadcasts have readers?"

"It's a text-based story about a TV broadcast. Any more questions?"

Kermit shook his head. "Not as long as the check clears. As I was saying – we'll be right back after this important break."

The director's voice crackled over the tech channel. "Aaaaand CUT!"